A/N: This is my response for SpyFest Revival's June Prompt of 'marriage.' I thought of it immediately, but it took a few tries to actually get going and it's still not perfect, so bear with me. I'm really tired (my young cousins are visiting and my house is in chaos) and this was really rushed. On a completely unrelated note and in order to offer some random info about myself, I play violin and I'm currently reading a piece I love, called Meditation from 'Thais.' Not too difficult, but it's beyond beautiful and so much fun to play :) so I'm now practicing for about two hours a day, contributing to my tiredness.

Disclaimer: Alex and Ben belong to Anthony Horowitz. I'm just borrowing them for a while.

"Oh come on, Alex, you'll be gorgeous." Ben's voice is teasing, choked with suppressed laughter.

"I don't want to be gorgeous," the spy wailed, placing his head in his hands. "Stop laughing at me!"

"Kind of difficult when you look like that," Ben retorted. "If you were me, you'd be laughing at me too." He blinked. "That didn't come out right."

"Nothing about this situation is right, Benjamin. I wasn't planning on getting married for at least another ten years."

The older spy shrugged. "Well, you look far better in it than I ever would," he told his partner, gesturing to the other spy's attire. "Wedding just isn't a good look for me."

"Yeah, neither is gloating. Or laughing. Makes your face look all puffy and nasty…oh wait, that's just your face."

"…That's the best you could come up with?"

"…"

"…"

"…Ow! You punched me!"

"…You deserved it. Now stop laughing and help me with this. These shoes are so uncomfortable…"

Ben sniggered. "Not my fault you have big feet. How did you end up doing this again?" His tone was too innocent, and Alex glared at him.

"As I recall, it was supposed to be you doing this, not me. I'm too young and too pretty to be tied down until my divorce!" he wheezed dramatically, standing from his seat at the vanity table in the small dressing room.

The other agent raised a single eyebrow. "You agreed to it, remember?"

"I did no such thing!" Alex's tone was the epitome of hurt. "When would I ever agree to marry our mark? You wound me, Benjamin!"

"It fell under the 'any means necessary to complete the mission' section of the contract."

"Ah." Alex blinked owlishly. "You read the contract?"

"You didn't?"

"…Explains why I'm wearing this, doesn't it?"

"That it does, my friend. That it does…remind me to take a picture for the rest of the office."

"Do that, and you won't make it back to the office alive," Alex threatened.

"Only if you can chase me in those shoes," Ben returned, grinning. "You don't look like you could walk a kilometer in those."

Alex glanced down at his feet, then back up at his tormentor. "Yeah? Watch me."

Ben backed away, hands up. "Okay, I believe you…no need to get violent, young Alexander," he lectured in a mock-serious voice.

Alex growled in his face. "I'll give you violent!"

"Not necessary!" Ben squeaked back, scurrying around the dressing table that lay behind him.

Becoming serious, the man regarded his young partner. "Got your gun?"

Alex nodded, matching Ben's mood. "Bless Smithers for making it somehow fit into this thing. I swear, that man must be psychic…it's like he knew I would be wearing this!"

"Well…"

"Benjamin, if you want to live, you will not tell me what happened."
The other spy gulped, then nodded. "Fair enough. Weapons?"

"Knives and exploding earring. You've got the rest, I presume?"

"I'll cover you. With luck, we'll both make it out alive…"

Alex snorted, derision evident in his tone as he replied, "With luck, we'll catch him before I have to say 'I do.' Jones is the head of MI6, but I don't think even she has the power to annul a marriage to the most powerful family in all of Europe."

"Well," Ben teased, "the Pope will annul it as long as you don't consummate it…Ouch! Violence, remember?"

Alex sulked. "I didn't hit you that hard. Your shoulder'll be fine in a day or so, but even hint at me sleeping with that horror again and I can't say the same for your ability to procreate…"

Ben cleared his throat decidedly. "Shutting up, then. Just one last thing…be careful, Alex. I know you 'always are,'" he said, holding up a hand to forestall Alex's protests, "but you can't protect yourself from everything."

"I know," Alex reassured Ben. "You'll protect me from the rest. But you know I'm careful. I can't afford not to be, not in this line of work. Don't—" He was cut off as the first strains of Wagner's 'Bridal Chorus' met his ears.

Ben grinned at him roguishly, eyes twinkling.

"I do believe that's your cue, lovely Alexandra. Time to walk down the aisle and meet your groom! I don't know if I'm ready to give you away," he sniffed melodramatically, wiping away a false tear. "Got your 'something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue?' You know you just can't get married without it – as your elder brother, I simple can't walk you down the aisle without them! Let's see, old is your earring, new is your beautiful white dress – you do make a lovely girl, you know – kidding! Okay, no need to hit so hard, God." He rubbed his left arm sourly.

"Something borrowed – those deathtraps on your feet you call shoes, I suppose, although it depends on if my sister wants them back after you've stretched them out…And something blue? Oh no – you haven't got anything!" He mock-swooned. "The wedding is off! The bride isn't respectable! She hasn't got anything blue—"

"My mood," Alex snarled at his partner, and yanked him through the door.

Tell me if you liked it!

Currently a oneshot, although I might consider continuing it if I'm requested.