"Listen Tsubaki, I don't care what Kidd thinks." Outraged, Maka stomped around her kitchen. "Not. Gonna. Do it. UUGHH. Can you believe, his nerve! Kidd!"

Daring to interrupt Maka wouldn't make the situation better. Only time would calm her friend. Nakatsukasa, Tsubaki was trying her best to stifle the laughter that bubbled within her. Giggles erupted, and Maka stared her down.

"Maka, I'm sure it can't be that bad. You're voice acting smut as a favor for Kidd" Tsubaki attempted to stifle her glee.

Maka gave Tsubaki a withering look. "He didn't tell me I'd have to read it with someone."

"How bad can it be? Who is it?" She asked.

"Dunno, some guy he grew up with. So wealthy, spoiled brat type."

"Maka, really?" Tsubaki had known her friend long enough to know when she was making gross generalizations.

"Okay, so, maybe not. I don't know. He has some poser hipster name, like...Sailor...no that isn't right... Evans, I think is his last name."

"Wait? Wealthy, hipster name, grew-up with Kidd. Like Soul? Soul Evans?"

Narrowed eyes observed Tsubaki. Maka nodded. "You know him?"

"No." Was the quick reply. "Black Star does, they're Destiny clan members or something like that. They play every Tuesday. Kidd brought him in. He has a nice voice, deep, throaty."

"Omg Tsu you literally insinuated deep-throat, gross." Maka nearly gagged.

"Someone has her mind in the gutter. C'mon it is for a good cause. BFP is a great organization and they're donating the profits to charity." She stressed the point.

This earned a huh face from Maka, who was unaware that Tsubaki knew so much about the ordeal.

Tsubaki crunched a carrot thoughtfully. "Kidd told me. Black Star and I are doing a reading too. It's gonna be fun."

"You're never gonna give this up?" Maka dead panned.

"You know the rules." Tsubaki replied brightly.

"Yeah, yeah. And so do I." Maka grumbled.

"Plus the winner gets one day express passes to Death Gardens."

"What? The new zombie theme park? Kidd didn't mention that!"

The cell phone vibrated on the counter top, freaking them both out.

[[Hey got your number from Kidd]]

"Shit, it's him. How- what am I going to say?!" Anxiety didn't cover this, it was full blown panic mode.

"Read the rest."

Kneading the knot in her brow, Maka grabbed the phone.

[[ready for this partner]]

Oh Death, he didn't even use proper grammar. [[Yeah, you?]]

No! No no no, she was not ready to read things like, Heat seeking moisture missile, with someone she hadn't met.

[[Look]]

[[I'm just doing this for Kidd. Blackmailed by Star]]

The response surprised her. Before she could even respond, a slew of messages flooded her phone.

Tsubaki looked on gleefully, and a little mortified because whenever Black Star blackmailed anyone, it wasn't good.

[[I don't do this. I'm not that kind of guy. Only agreed cause K says you're the same way.]]

Maka read the messages aloud to Tsubaki, who shrugged.

[[Is there someone I should apologize to in advance? Father brother SO]]

Maka didn't understand, and texted back. [[So?]]

[[Significant other]]

Oh, why was she blushing?! "Stop laughing Tsubaki." Her fingers were already swiping an answer, [[No]]

[[Cool]] The response was almost instantaneous.

What a jerk.

[[duck]]

[[that came out wrong]] The sigh faced emoticon followed those messages.

Maka waited.

[[I didnt mean cool you dont have a bf, just cool I dont have to apologize]]

Why was Tsubaki laughing so hard? Maka glared at her, mouthing. Stop it!

[[No. omg don't worry about it]]

[[you're good]]

Seconds later he responded, [[would you want to meet before this thing?]]

[[meet?]] He couldn't be serious. Could he?

[[well ya. Don't want to scare you off day of, you know]]

Tsubaki couldn't help it. The situation was becoming so entertaining. "I didn't think he was so texty. Usually on game night he's very quiet."

"Oh Death! I can't do this. I'm going to back out. This is insane." Lamenting ever having agreed to this in the first place. Maka hung on to her pigtails in mortification.

"I think it's sweet of him to want to meet before the reading though. He could be nice, Black Star and I can go with you." Tsubaki offered, "If you want?"

Maka wasn't sure what she wanted, the phone buzzed again.

[[scared you off already?]] The scared face emoticon completed the message.

She scrawled out a response. [[ah, no. When do you want to meet and where?]]

[[haha that's good =)]]

[[Deathbucks, in a few hours. If you have time?]]

[[Is that too soon? I suc at this]]

[[sorry]]

"Isn't that sweet of him to want to meet you before he whispers sweet nothings about putting his "Loverod in your damp canal of lust" in front of lots of people." Tsubaki used air quotes.

The color drained from her Maka's, she was going to kill Kidd, for roping her into his strange charity organization. No, nothing about this situation was cool.

a/n: This was written for the SE Chopped challenge from Tumblr. Basically turning "trash into treasure". Not sure how well I did on this, and it hasn't been beta'd, so if the grammar is wonky, it's because of me. I did purposefully leave terrible grammar in the text messages denoted by the brackets. Share your thoughts, if you wish. I may continue, and to the smut readings.