And Shinsou could sense that something was off when Midoriya called him on his home phone out of the blue one day – something he rarely did – at a time the latter knew he was at work so the call had been forwarded to his answering machine (which Shinsou kept as the default automated female voice for obvious reasons). And he'd left a very strange message that he found himself replaying over and over and over and over again, listening to that quavering voice and wondering where down the line he'd failed him so.

"There's something I have to tell you."

His voice sounded so in pain.

Of course something was wrong. But Midoriya wasn't the type for deep, heart-to-heart chats and even now as Shinsou calmly dialed his friend's cell he half-expected him not to pick up, letting it ring once, twice, three times –

"Hello?"

His voice caught in his throat. "Yo."

"I –"

He heard a sharp intake of breath, and suddenly the line went silent. For a moment, panic seized him. "Oi…what's wrong? Izuku?"

There was no immediate response, but then he heard Midoriya's sleepy voice issue faintly from his phone, "Shin…sou?"

Relief washed over him, and he laughed sheepishly. "Sorry, sorry. Activated my Quirk by accident. Thought I was better at keeping it under control."

It had been so long since he'd mistakenly used his Quirk. He'd let his emotions get the better of him for just a second. He felt a familiar wave of disgust rise up like a bitter taste in his throat.

"That's not something you should be sorry about," Midoriya said quickly, as if he knew what he was thinking. He sounded so remorseful that Shinsou had to resist the urge to reach out and pat him comfortingly on his head even though he wasn't even there. "Look, um…are you free by any chance, like, right now?"

"…I thought I was the one who called you?"

A nervous chuckle. "Stupid question. My bad. I'm actually near your place right now, mind if we chatted a little bit?"

"Front door's unlocked," he said promptly.

"Geez, that's not exactly safe, you know? Be there in a bit." Then Midoriya hung up.

They stood there awkwardly in the kitchen. Shinsou had already offered Midoriya a seat three times, but his words hadn't seemed to register at all, for he was still hovering around the entranceway, fiddling with his fingers. He wouldn't meet Shinsou's gaze.

"What?" Shinsou said finally. "You haven't said a word since you got here. What's wrong?"

Without looking up, Midoriya mumbled, "Nothin'…"

"Are you sure?"

He nodded wordlessly, his eyes glued to the floor.

"Ok, if that's it," Shinsou said in a deadpan voice, "then –"

"What's your honest opinion of the League of Villains?" Midoriya blurted out abruptly.

His eyes widened infinitesimally. Where was this coming from? "My…opinion?"

"Yeah. Y-you don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable! I just…I'm just curious, that's all."

"They're just like any other villains, I suppose." Shinsou tilted his head thoughtfully. "They've banded together because of common interest, but in the end it's still just a group of organized crime. Nothing to sneeze about anymore, now that they have no leader to speak of."

He thought he saw Midoriya's expression harden when he looked up at him, and his gaze was searching. "What about their ideals?" he pressed.

"Ideals?" Shinsou stared at him blankly. "What brought this on?"

"What really, is the job of a hero? To prevent crime? To protect civilians? To stop villains?"

Shinsou nodded hesitantly, unsure where he was going with this. "All of that, and more."

Midoriya looked at him, almost pityingly. "Don't you think there's a paradox there? Where do you draw the line between 'villain' and 'civilian'? When you're labelled as a villain, just because your ideals don't align with that of this society, but you haven't committed any evil – isn't it just as terrible to hurt them for the sake of being a 'hero'? Aren't heroes supposed to exist to protect?"

Shinsou's blood ran cold. He was sure he knew what this was about.

Watching Midoriya's anguished face, the cold, pent up fury burning in his green eyes he knew he was still hurting from what happened on that day – the day everyone who'd been there had, by some unspoken agreement, decided to never speak of, never think of. And Shinsou had kept it locked up in the back of his mind for the past seventeen months and it was so easy to pretend that nothing had ever happened. But of course Midoriya hadn't forgotten. Of course he couldn't have forgotten.

Because, after all, that was the day All Might died.

On that day, when an informant had tipped them off, when they'd gone to the factory and all hell had broken loose and he vaguely remembered helping setting up one of the hundreds in a chain of deadly bombs that had gone off prematurely, the blinding flash of light and acrid smoke, and stumbling out of the rubble supporting a nearly-unconscious Uraraka, Midoriya's terrified face as he screamed profanity at the impassive Pro Hero whose face he couldn't recall, begging them to tell him why they had to die, why so many people had to die…

For the greater good, was what he'd been told. Sacrifices had to be made. Right, he remembered that they'd said something like that. And Shinsou had accepted it, without question. He didn't think it was right, exactly, but who was he to oppose the higher-ups? Like everyone else, he kept quiet. Pretended to forget.

But Midoriya…had he been harbouring his rage all this time?

One look at the expression on his face told him all he needed to know.

"That's why…I can't agree to the ideals of our current hero society anymore." Midoriya's voice was flat. "At first I didn't know what I wanted to do. Quitting being a hero wasn't an option. Going from hero to villain – that was out of the question. But I recently came to a realization, that our definition of 'hero' had deteriorated ever since the day All Might retired. Our society right now is so blinded by the notion of defeating villains that most of the heroes today are failing to see that the most important thing is to protect."

There was a long pause. Midoriya's words carried a lot of weight and Shinsou knew he'd been thinking about it, suffering all on his own, for a very long time. And he felt a small, perhaps selfish twinge of satisfaction that he'd come to him. Midoriya had been his salvation once, and it was his turn to return the favour.

"That day…what the higher-ups did was wrong," Shinsou said. "Whatever the motivation was – a lapse of judgement, a stab at revenge, or even if they did it out of fear – that doesn't change the fact that it was wrong. But even heroes make mistakes. They – we, are only human, after all."

Midoriya's eyes flashed. "I thought of all people, you'd understand the most. But I guess I was wrong. It wasn't an honest mistake at all. They'd planned to detonate the bomb early. They knew innocent workers and heroes alike would get caught in the crossfire. They knew, Shinsou. They fucking knew All Might wouldn't have been able to escape in time! They…" his voice broke. "They as good as murdered him themselves."

"I –"

"And you can fucking stand here and defend those …those fucking..."

But Midoriya seemed at a loss for which curse words to use to describe them, as he trailed off, angrily balling his hands into fists. Shinsou thought his vocabulary would've been a lot more colourful, considering how much time he spent around Bakugou. But it had been the same that day as well. Enraged Midoriya seemed only capable of using the f-word.

"I'm not defending them," he said at last. "But the actions of a few don't represent that of the whole hero society."

"The same goes for the villain society," Midoriya shot back. "And right now, their ideals are closer to mine than what it means to be a hero in this world."

"So that's your plan?" Shinsou asked quietly. "You're gonna quit being a hero and become a villain?"

"Don't tell me you never considered it."

"Not once."

Midoriya exhaled. "Guess you've got the moral upper ground here, then."

"And you are a coward, Izuku."

He was trembling, and Shinsou wasn't sure if it was out of anger or fear. "I watched them die. I couldn't do a thing! Some top hero I am if I couldn't even save one person."

"You were the one who dragged Uraraka out from the wreckage, remember? You were the one who told Bakugou to run. And you…were the one who pushed me out of the way. We all could've died, too, if you hadn't been there."

But it was like Midoriya wasn't really listening. "I couldn't save him…"

"We all knew this wouldn't be an easy path to take from the moment we enrolled at UA. Of course you can't save everybody. But as a villain, do you think you can save anybody?"

"You're just like Kacchan," he said bitterly. "I don't know why I bothered to talk to you."

Shinsou felt a lump forming in his throat. "Then what do you want from me, Izuku? What was the purpose of that call? Telling Bakugou, telling me…somebody with a Quirk like this – where is your conviction? Did you perhaps, want us to stop you?"

Midoriya's eyes went wide and glassy as Shinsou's Quirk took effect. His mouth opened slightly, but no words came out. Then suddenly, the light was back in his eyes and his lips pulled upwards in a mocking smile. "That's a villain-Quirk for you," he said coolly. "Why else would a person about to join the villains come to someone like you?"

Shinsou couldn't believe what he was hearing. He stared at Midoriya, feeling a pang in his heart. "Indeed. I use this ability to get into the minds of villains, to think like a villain, as they call it. And Izuku – your thinking now is nothing like a villain's. You sound like some low-level, half-assed hero taking a stab at fame by announcing to the world that you're gonna switch sides; a coward's move. Want us to pity you? Want us to stop you? Are you really going to throw away everything you ever worked for? For a long time, I looked up to you, y'know, as a hero…"

"Well, you looked up to the wrong person."

"I now know I did, but then so did you, right? Because no way are these the words of the boy who grew up idolizing the number one hero."

"You're right. Things have changed. This side is wrong, and if I can't make you understand that then you're just wasting my time."

Shinsou closed his eyes. "Who ever said you had to go to the other side to make a change?"

"What kind of hero lets hundreds of people die before his eyes, helpless as they beg you to please, please, save them, or at the very least their child, but you can't do a fucking thing?! What kind of person can call themselves the number one hero, when they can't protect a single kid? What kind of hero am I, if I can't even save my mentor?"

"How selfish of you, to think you're the only person who goes through something like that."

"You're right," Midoriya said, "I'm selfish. I'm selfish and powerless, and I don't deserve to be called the top hero. But Kacchan does. Kacchan's the one, after all, who saves people, with that smile on his face, who dives right in to protect people even at the cost of his life because he can't afford to lose and that's why…that's why…someone like me…"

And Shinsou could hear the underlying implications of his words. Someone like him, having thoughts like these, couldn't possibly be the number one hero. A person that considered becoming a villain to change the current hero society – that was what Midoriya was most ashamed of, and he was imposing exile on himself. Saying he was going to be a villain was just an excuse. He'd analyzed enough villains during his time as a Pro Hero and he knew someone like Midoriya would never be able to be a villain, not in that sense of the word. Perhaps someone who opposed the current state of the hero world, but never a villain.

It was all theory, really. He didn't know what, exactly, that Midoriya was thinking, but he was sure that his guess was pretty damn close.

"You really…do care about Bakugou, after all…" he said quietly. "You really are selfish…"

…then again, so am I.