Following the Yule ball, Ron fell into a comfortable routine of chess, naps, and avoiding the other champions. Well, avoiding the other champions wasn't particularly comfortable. In fact, it was hard work. They were all insane!

Fleur was the highest up on Ron's list of champions to avoid. She kept treating him like some sort of injured baby animal. He'd have thought that ditching her at the ball might've made her angry, but it had just made her more determined to (s)mother him. One of these days he was half-afraid she'd actually try to give him a bath, or something equally humiliating.

Next on the list was Krum. Krum had seemingly given up on subtlety. Under the weak guise of, "getting to know Hermyninny's little friends," (cue girlish giggling), Krum had starting forcing his way at the Gryffindor table each night for dinner. He kept making increasingly ludicrous suggestions for group activities, like taking a mid-winter dip in the frozen lake. Apparently, ice-water built character. As if. His true goals couldn't have been more transparent! The dirty cheat.

Finally, there was Cedric... Handsome, noble, polite, Cedric... Cedric the Hufflepuff... Poor, sweet, Cedric. Unfortunately, Ron's devastating good looks and charming demeanor had claimed yet another victim. It was a hopeless case of infatuation. Ron hated to keep breaking his heart, so instead he'd taken to dodging him in corridors. The man was truly insistent on getting him alone for some private time in the Prefect's bath! What kind of idiot thought that was a good first date idea, anyway?

Besides avoiding the other champions, Ron's days felt surprisingly empty. He'd taken to secretly reading some of his textbooks just to ease the boredom. When Hermione asked what he was doing, he'd said it was research for the tournament. As a matter of fact, Harry's advice about giving misinformation to "Neville," (aka Hermione), was panning out incredibly well. The other day he'd told her that the second task involved solving logic puzzles. Since then, he'd noticed Krum looking even more nervous and shifty-eyed than usual.

Mysteriously, Harry had taken to spending a great deal of time in the library. This puzzled Ron, but not enough to actually ask him what he was doing. That would require communication. No, thank you!

About one week before the second task, Ron abruptly remembered that the dragon's golden egg had a clue in it. He felt a moment of anxiety over his procrastination, but he quickly shook off the unfamiliar emotion. A seasoned adventurer like himself should be able to figure it out easily enough.

As he pondered the situation, Harry burst into their dorm room. "I've got it!" he shouted.

"Got what, mate?"

"I've figured out what the second task is!"

"What, really?" Ron asked, somewhat incredulous. It dawned on him that this must be what Harry had been spending all that time in the library for. Wow. What a friend! What a sacrifice!

Harry grinned happily at Ron through bloodshot eyes. "Yeah, I've got it," he repeated.

"Harry, when's the last time you slept?" Ron asked, slightly worried. The tournament was important and all, but Harry barely looked human.

Harry looked confused by the question. "Um, hmm, well, what day is it?"

"That's it!" exclaimed Ron. "You're taking a nap right now. When you wake up, we can talk strategy."

"What? No," Harry protested. "The task is coming up really soon. We have to prepare."

"No," Ron corrected. "I have to prepare. You have to sleep."

When Harry looked like he might protest some more, Ron just shook his head sternly. "There will always be more adventures for heroes like us, Harry. Sleep is precious. Sleep is important! Sleep is the backbone of this country!..."

Ron's inspiring speech was cut off by Harry's snore.

…

A week later, Ron stood confidently by the Black Lake, waiting for the task to start. He held Gillyweed in one hand and his wand in the other. The only thing that was bothering him was that he had no idea which of his possessions the judges might've taken. It's not like he owned anything important, except for maybe the omnioculars that Harry had given him over the summer. Those were nice, and Ron felt a pang of distress over the thought of his gift being ruined.

As the task was announced, Ron realized with a growing horror that those bastards had stuck Harry at the bottom of the lake. Under different circumstances, Ron might've been soothed by the thought that of course the judges weren't going to let anything bad happen to the hostages. Harry would be fine! However, under these circumstances, staring into Dumbledore's twinkling, diamond eyes… Well, Ron wasn't taking anything for granted. Those peepers were stone cold.

Gulping down the disgusting Gillyweed, Ron manfully shed down to his trunks. He stopped briefly to pose for the ladies in the crowd. Even in this moment of distress, he'd never forget his obligations to the little people. Then, taking a final breath of air, he charged forwards.

Underneath the lake, Ron swam with purpose and direction. The wrong direction, unfortunately, but what can you do?

He soon noticed that the other champions were following him! Frustrated, he turned around, intending to tell them to bugger off.

"We must protect you," gurgled Fleur, before he'd even had a chance to protest. Cedric nodded, mouthing inaudibly from behind the safety of his air-bubble. A malformed shark-man (who may once have been Krum) loomed threateningly behind them.

Ron frowned. No way was he going with these lunatics. He had thrilling heroics to complete, and more importantly, he had to rescue Harry. There was no time to waste with their attempts at sabotage. Luckily, this was the moment the Giant Squid decided to make an appearance.

Fleur shrieked, Cedric fumbled with his wand, and Krum shot off a dangerous looking curse at the enormous animal.

The Giant Squid gracefully dodged the impolite curse. She sniffed. Taking stock of the situation, she deduced that these rude older students were attempting to bully a first-year. Well, not on her watch! Grabbing the tiny red-head with one of her many tentacles, she jettisoned off.

Ron was too startled to be properly fearful as he was dragged across the lake at intense speed. Dumbfoundedly, he watched the water rush by, the squid's massive body protecting him from the force. After an otherworldly two minutes, the squid swung to a stop, grabbing onto a massive rock to halt her progress.

The Giant Squid looked down at her young charge. He seemed okay now that he was far away from those nasty rule-breakers. She nodded kindly at him and gave him a bit of a nudge. Poor thing. She hoped none of the other lake beings would bully him.

Ron awkwardly waved at the enormous creature as it seemingly patted him on the shoulder and swum away.

Shaking off the bizarre encounter, Ron looked around. He saw a shimmering light fairly close by and swum cautiously towards it. One of the ugliest creatures he'd ever seen was guarding what looked like a cave. Ron wasn't an idiot; everyone knew mermen weren't pretty. But this guy was something else. Blimey!

Keeping his face politely impassive, Ron gestured towards the entrance. He received a considering look, followed by a short nod. Waving his thanks, Ron swam towards where he knew Harry must be waiting for him.

Sure enough, just a few yards into the cave, the four hostages were tied to rocks, their hair and robes gently floating around them. Ron shuddered at the unnatural sight of Harry's peaceful face. It just wasn't right.

A cute little doppelganger of Fleur was tied next to Harry. If Ron didn't know the truth about the personality behind Fleur's ethereal face, he might have felt pity for the tiny child. Instead, all he felt was a jolt of fear for the woman the girl was sure to become.

Beside the girl was Hermione. Now that was unexpected. If she was Krum's hostage, then that implied that some genuine feelings had grown. Perhaps Ron had underestimated his brainy friend. His mind whirling, Ron realized that Hermione must've known Krum's game from the very beginning. She'd been playing Krum like a harp! Wow. Ron's heart swelled with pride and appreciation.

As he looked over the other hostages' innocent faces, Ron briefly considered whether he should try to rescue them as well…

Nah.

Expertly, he used a cutting charm on the ropes binding Harry. Helping Mum in the kitchen was finally paying off. He grabbed his unconscious best friend, and began the lengthy swim back up to the surface.

Rising from the water like some sort of lake-based Poseidon, Ron felt the sunlight glistening majestically across his chest. He held Harry in his arms like the damsel in distress that he was, aware of the many eyes looking on in admiration. Unfortunately, his preening was interrupted abruptly by a coughing fit of epic proportions. It was to this fairly visceral experience that Harry regained consciousness.

Half an hour of coughing and sputtering later, the other champions began emerging from the lake with their hostages. Ron tried to say hello, but just hacked up a bit more Gillyweed.

All of them huddled together under their towels, shivering, waiting for the scores to be announced.

"Hermyone?" said Krum quietly, pulling Hermione slightly apart from the rest of them. "You are very important to me. I am wondering if you might come to visit me this summer in my home in Bulgaria?"

Ron grinned. It was really beautiful to see Hermione work her magic on the older wizard. What a schmuck. He gave Hermione an exaggerated wink and thumbs up from behind Krum's back.

Before Hermione could respond, the scores were announced. Ron was pulling ahead by a huge margin! It looked like this tournament was definitely shaping up to be a victory for Hogwarts. Ron grinned.

That night it seemed like all of Hogwarts had snuck into the Gryffindor common room to celebrate. The music was pounding, and Ron was having a blast. He was watching a butterbeer drinking contest when he and Harry were accosted by the twins and a few of their buddies.

"Oi," said Fred. "What's this we hear about Harry being the one you'd miss the most? What about us?"

"Yeah, what's Harry got that we don't?" grinned George.

"Hmm," said Ron, pretending to ponder. "Let's see. What does Harry have that you don't? Does grace, charm, wit, and good-looks count?"

The twins' friends roared with laughter.

"He's got you there, mates!" shouted Lee Jordan, as Fred dramatically pretended to be shot in the heart.

"You've wounded us, truly," said George, shaking his head. The mischievous duo engaged in a dramatic about-face and led their friends back to the dance floor.

Ron smiled, turning to a slightly pink Harry. "Wanna play a game of chess?"

"Yeah," said Harry with a slow grin back. "That sounds great."

The best friends made their way over to the chess table (clearing off some empty bottles), for a wonderful ending to yet another Wonky Adventure™.