Last One Out, Hit The Lights (woops *chap 11)

"Hey, Reyes."

"What?"

"You ever wonder why we're here?"

Sam turned to glare at the maroon soldier to her left. "No. I never, ever wonder why we're here."

Grif nodded in agreement, "Semper Fi, bitch."

Sam and Simmons turned to give Grif weird looks. "Sure."

"Heegakergerk!" Lopez twitched suddenly, startling all three of them.

"Whoa," Simmons said. "What's wrong with Lopez?"

Grif shrugged and turned away. "I don't care."

Simmons didn't take that for an answer. "Hey, Lopez, uh...you okay, man?"

"Hay, muchachos, necesité darle... un aviso... ¿Qué? ¿Por qué estoy el hablar en español? ¡Yo no puedo hablar español!"

"Um..." Simmons turned away, "sure."

Reyes, however, knew what the heavy robot was saying, and turned to him in concern. "What are you talking about, hombre? All you speak is Spanish."

Lopez looked up at her with a panicked look (well, as panicked as a robot can get), and frantically shook his head. Reyes was worried it might fall off - it might actually since he was a robot. "¡Yo no puedo hablar español!"

"Yeah, you said that already," Reyes said, rolling her eyes. Simmons and Grif stopped paying attention. "What's wrong?"

"Escucha mé! ¡La bruja teva a matar!"

"The captain? Or that freelancer? Cause, both of them are pretty mean, and-"

"La negra que fija el tanque!"

Reyes nodded. "Right, she is a bitch. One hell of a woman, but kind of a bitch."

Lopez began waving his arms frantically. "¡No tenemos tiempo para esta, mujer! ¡Advierta a sus hombres!"

"Jeez, okay, I will. No need to get hostile."

"Aw, crap. Captain, she's almost done fixing Sheila. You want me to radio Church and tell him what's going on?"

Lillian nodded, "Yeah, sounds good."

Before Tucker could even radio the dead man, Caboose raised his arm in the air and shook his hand frantically, like he was a student in class wanted to get the teacher's attention. "Oh, oh, oh, Tucker please, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, Tucker, please-"

"Yes, dude, You can be the one to radio Church this time," Tucker said, rolling his eyes. Lily smiled at the kind act.

Caboose cheered, "Thanks man," and turned on his radio. "Calling Church. Come in Church. This is your close, personal friend, Private O'Malley."

Tucker and Lily quickly turned towards the standard issue blue soldier. "O'Malley?" they repeated at the same time.

"You said your name was Caboose."

"I never said that," Caboose shook his head, "you guys did."

Lily frowned. "But when you introduced yourself to me, you said 'Caboose,' not 'O'Malley,' or whatever."

Caboose shrugged, and she rolled her eyes. "Well, why didn't you correct yourself?"

"Because I didn't want to be difficult," he answered. Lily silently 'aw'ed and gave him a smile.

"You're never difficult, sweetie."

Caboose smiled widely, and turned to speak into the radio again. "Come in Private Church. Do you copy. Soldier unit Tex almost has the armor vehicle situation rectified. Okay. We require verification of your... mission...ness." He awkwardly cleared his throat. "How is your progression?"

Lily slowly leaned towards Tucker and whispered, "Remind me to never let him radio anyone ever again. At all."

Tucker nodded, "Will do, Captain."

Lily nodded back and they stood up straight, waiting for Caboose to say something important. He listened to Church for a minute, before he turned back to Lily and Tucker.

"Um, he says he wants to talk to you, Miss Lily."

Lily furrowed her eyebrows, but before she could ask why, something else spoke.

"Thank you for activating the M808V Main Battle Tank."

"Oh, shit," Lily muttered.

Tucker agreed, "We got trouble."

"Un tanque...grrrrrande," Lopez was still attempting to communicate with Grif and Simmons, despite the fact that neither could understand. Reyes had explained everything to them in English, but they weren't paying attention. She decided it would be fine if they died and went down to the base to try and warn Donut and Sarge.

"Hey," Grif said loudly to Lopez. "I think if you're gonna live in this country, you should speak this language."

Simmons squinted his eyes at the dumb soldier. "What country? We're on an alien planet."

"What're you? A Communist?"

Simmons smacked his helmet where his forehead would have been, "This was so much easier when Sam was here."

"Who the hell's Sam?"

"I'm talking about Reyes, you dumbass. How do you not know her first name?"

"I don't know! Sarge doesn't even know she's a girl! But you're right, this would be a lot easier if she was here."

"¿De qué estas hablando? ¡Ella literalmente explico lo que paso y ustedes do follan simplemente ignorado ella!"

Before either Grif or Simmons could retort that they still had no idea what he was saying, a big, loud shot hit the side of the base.

"Son of a bitch!"

"Son of a bitch!"

"Hijo de puta!"

"Okay, I'm getting really sick of asking people what's going on through that sniper rifle."

"How do you think I feel? That's my damn rifle and I haven't even used it in, like, a million years."

"Church is getting mad at us."

"Oh. Well, that's a nice change of pace."

"Tell me about it."

"I told you bitches! But no one ever listens to me!"

"Shut up, Reyes! No one wants to listen to yer' yammerin!" Sarge yelled, getting into the Warthog. "Simmons! I'm coming around in the Warthog. Get ready to take the gunner position when I come by."

"Roger that!"

Grif nodded slowly and stood back. "Yeah, I'm just...gonna stay here."

"Me, too."

"Yeah," Simmons snorted at fellow privates. "Stay here and guard this cement ramp. It's vital to our success."

Grif and Reyes opted to ignore the cocky soldier as Sarge skidded by. Simmons hopped down into the gunner position, ready to fire. Sarge sped away.

The, the jeep blew up.

Again.

Simmons and Sarge made their way back to the ramp, defeated. Grif and Reyes didn't even try to hold back their snickers.

"Wow, back so soon?" Reyes teased.

"Yeah," Grif laughed, "win the war already?"

"Yeah, uh," Simmons turned to their fuming sergeant, "did you want to finish telling me that plan now, Sarge?"

He grunted. "If we survive this, I'm gonna kill all three of ya. Slowly."

Grif kneeled down to Simmons to tease him some more, and Donut finally arrived from the inside of the base. His lightish red armor was on, but his helmet off. Reyes looked over the gnarly scar on the side of his face where the bomb was. The skin was all pink and raised up, it almost looked like a lightning storm. He was partially blind in one eye.

Reyes had a similar scar on her hand and arm, when she had went to grab the grenade. It wasn't as bad, but she thought it looked cool.

"Hey," Donut cried, squinting from the sudden brightness, "what're you guys doing up here?!"

"That chick in the black armor's back!" Grif answered.

"What chick?" Donut asked. "You mean the one that stuck a grenade to my head and did this?" He pointed to the scar.

Simmons nodded, "That's the one."

Donut clenched his fingers and looked down at the tank, which was till quite a ways away, and had the black armored chick in it. "Ohhh, I've been waiting for this," he said, giving an evil smile. He ran over to the edge of the base, grenade in hand. "Hey bitch!" he screamed. "Remember me?! I saved something for ya!"

Snd he threw the grenade; it sailed through the air.

And sailed.

And sailed.

And sailed.

And - "Holy shit, Donut." - sailed.

And sailed.

Until it finally landed in the tank.

"Hell yeah!" Donut screeched. "Three points, you dirty whore!"

'Dirty whore' echoed through the canyon. The tank blew up.

"Dios, mio! No!" And Lopez was off running. "Tejas! Tejas!"

"Uh," Grif's eyes followed the sprinting robot, "where's Lopez going?"

Sarge sighed sadly. "To fight the enemy, head on, in hand to hand combat. Mano e mano. What a brave little compadre. Lopez, I never understood a word you said. But I do know one thing. You hated Grif, and that's the most important thing there is. Adios, amigo... Adios."

Reyes raised an eyebrow. "Um? He's not? That's not even Lopez, I think it's-"

"Shh, don't ruin the moment, son," Sarge wept.

Simmons frowned, "Shouldn't we help him?"

"No," Sarge said more forcefully. "That would ruin the moment, too."

"..Alright."

Lily was honestly in shock. First of all, she hadn't expected the grenade to actually reach Tex. She was, like, a million feet away; Donut had a really strong arm holy shit. Anyway, neither did the captain expect the bomb to kill Tex.

But it did.

And the woman couldn't help but let out a few tears because of it. The freelancer was one of her oldest friends, and one of the only links she had to the past she still didn't fully remember.

"Man," Tucker sighed. "Church is gonna be pissed, and now he's got a body to kick our ass. Come on Caboose, let's get back to base."

Lily didn't have any energy, or motive, to scold Tucker for being so rude. Though, no one else (besides Church) had even really liked Tex, so she supposed his reaction was...understandable.

Caboose shook his head, but started walking with him. "I told you, my name isn't Caboose. My name...is O'Malley."

Lillian Yang was too busy grieving to hear Caboose's voice distort to sound like Tex's AI, Omega.

A/N: What what? Yes, season 1 is over! Who's ready to hop into season 2? Bc I am!

:-) See ya soon! If you guys have any questions, comments, or concerns, leave a review and I might have some sort of A/N like chapter before the next season starts (or I'll just have a really long A/N in one chapter bc apparently people don't like A/N chapters and will report you (yes I'm still satly))

Anyway, yeah, ily all sm and thank you for sticking with me during the duration of my shitty content and super late updates. Idk, it was like I didn't really have motivation. But I've got it back! I know these chapters have been kind of shirt (at least to me) and I will try to go into more detail with the characters and stuff. As of now, I'm basically writing down what happened in the show and incorporating my characters, which is kind of lame.

So yeah.

Anyways, later my wonderful people!

~Saaammmmmmm