AN: So here we are again! This took me a lot longer then I anticipated to get going but it finally is and hopefully it's worth the wait. A few things - I have struggled with this at first so instead of updating every Tuesday and Friday, we're only going to update on Fridays to give me a little more time to plan and write and keep this thing going. Secondly, the POVs are going to jump around more in this, not the set POV order like Run had. This will be a little more free to help tell the story

Plus we'll be meeting a few new POVs and this first chapter will introduce a new one now.

Thank you for the support on Run and I hope you enjoy this one.


The worst thing about not sleeping, was how long and boring the nights were.

Pyrrha couldn't begin to explain why her body didn't require sleep or food or water—it was just how she functioned now. She never felt fatigue, how could she after never stopping for five years?

It was more evidence to the fact that she was no longer human. Though she didn't know exactly what she was anymore, she was doing everything she could not to be a monster.

It was hard, and the nights were extra tough because the quiet only made her mind race more. Jaune would try, bless his heart, to stay awake and talk to her, but eventually he would fade and she would tell him it was okay—that she'd be fine.

Then the night would drag on and Pyrrha would stand watch, as she always did—waiting for more violence to come their way.

Despite the threat at the time, it had been two months since they left the Atlas military base and there was no sign of Weiss' father or anyone else coming for them.

There were nine of them now that Qrow and Taiyang had left to try and seek help from some of their old friends. They seemed to believe they could recruit some of Beacon's former staff members to assist in whatever Pyrrha knew was coming.

All of this, the hiding and separation and their constant need to run was because of Pyrrha. Because she knew that this quiet would not last. She couldn't rightly explain how she knew, just that a voice in the back of her mind told her every single day that they were not safe. That Salem was coming and would bring all of her might with her.

Pyrrha's memories of Salem were broken and foggy—she remembered pain and suffering. It hurt to think back to her time after she was shot on the tower of Beacon. Death was such a calming experience and when it took her, she felt safe.

However, when she woke up in that strange place – wondering if it were the afterlife, she was met with sharp burns across her back and words spoken to break her.

At some point, through all of it, her body detached from her soul and she was lost. The visions of killing and tormenting faces she didn't recognize were vivid, but feeling that pain and understanding what she'd done only returned when Jaune came to her in the cell.

She wasn't sure if she should even be here now, in this fancy hotel that they'd rented five rooms out of with the Schnee's money – she didn't know if it was right. After they ran and came to Winter, she and Weiss each withdrew generous amounts of their father's money before destroying their scrolls and promising to cut ties with the man. Once Winter heard that Weiss' father had struck her and that General Ironwood had handed over authority to him, Winter wanted no part of any of it.

Pyrrha knew it was too simple, you couldn't really cut off people like that—eventually they would have to confront it.

But if Pyrrha could sit in this high end hotel room, staring through the drape covered window and pretending that she was still human—then they could do whatever they wanted.

Turning back, she took in the sight of Jaune sleeping on the bed. They shared a room but since Pyrrha never slept it was pretty simple. She would sit up all through the night and be as quiet as possible so he could sleep. Jaune tried much too hard for her. Pyrrha loved and hated it. She hated how it made her feel, so worthless and unworthy. She was a murderer and a monster, she didn't deserve the attention and care he gave her. Yet, at the same time, it was all she had left to look forward to, so when the guilt wasn't killing her, she let him care and enjoyed it.

Watching him sleep tapped into the human side of her so strongly she almost felt she could overcome whatever curse was inside of her. It made her think she could crawl into bed with him, lie down and maybe fall asleep. If anything, just lay her head against him and pretend they were back at Beacon, sharing a bed and preparing for the next day of classes.

She'd spent so many nights wishing she were in his arms—now she wished she could go back and be seventeen again. Wistfully crushing on the boy she'd met who made her feel special.

Thoughts of Beacon brought her back to why they were at this hotel room. It was the last hotel they could find before sending Blake and Yang out to find the rest of her team.

To say Pyrrha was nervous about seeing Ren and Nora again would be a massive understatement.

Mostly, everyone on Team RWBY and Jaune had accepted her. Sun and Neptune were distant but respected everyone enough not to say anything. Nora and Ren though—they were like family and Pyrrha wanted them to accept her. She would understand if they didn't, she certainly wasn't the girl they remembered, but they were her teammates. She loved them.

You still love them, you're not dead.

Reminding herself she really did still exist was a constant for Pyrrha. On nights like this, when the rest of the world slept and she waited in silence, she felt extremely disconnected.

One thing her new existence didn't prevent her from was melting in the heat of this part of Remnant. Even at this hour it was scorching hot and she really needed to turn the air conditioning up.

Just as she stood to do that, a flash of something outside caught her attention and her nerves sparked.

She didn't have a weapon of her own but Jaune allowed her to use his sword and she reached for it before staring out the window again. The parking lot was always quiet, just the coming and going of vehicles that Pyrrha had memorized. Between Winter and Blake they were able to scout the entire area and determine that the strangers staying here were just that, strangers—no one they knew and nobody who could be a threat.

Still, it was far too late for anyone to be wandering and Pyrrha knew she saw something dart behind one of their cars and she quietly exited the room and raced down the halls to investigate.

If the heat on the inside was bad, the heat outside was even worse. It was thick and heavy, like a fog of hot gas that settled into her skin. She was thankful for the small shorts she was wearing and the tank top Winter had loaned her. Pyrrha didn't have any clothes but she could fit into Winter's well enough.

Physically, she hated her legs—they were covered in black veins and looked grotesque, but it was just too hot and Jaune had convinced her to wear the shorts. She remembered how adamant he was that it was okay—that her legs didn't bother anyone.

He spoke so strongly that she almost believed him. He was good at that, making her believe in herself. Perhaps one of these times, it would stick with her longer than a few passing moments.

She stalked through the silent parking lot towards the bright red car that sat on the other side where she'd seen the flash. She might not believe in herself being normal, but she believed in her ability to fight and she was ready to destroy anything that threatened these people who'd given her another chance.

She was careful with her footsteps, not wanting to make too much noise as she twisted the sword in her hand and settled the blade behind her for a prepared backslash.

Any movement had stopped, whatever she was chasing had stilled. The only thing she noted was a bird perched on the sign of the motel above her. It was a red eyed raven cawing at the moon that hung in the air. The sound was distant—Pyrrha shook it from her mind and prepared to strike.

With a leap, she rounded the car and froze at what she saw. It was no enemy—it was Ruby and she was sitting on the concrete with her knees curled to her chest and her face buried between them.

Pyrrha froze and felt a strange prickling in the back of her mind. It was pushing against her brain, trying to overtake her and telling her that she could drag Ruby away. This was her mission for five years—to take this girl she'd met at Beacon and bring her back to Salem. For what? Pyrrha didn't know, but she could only imagine it was something awful. All she'd ever been told was that Ruby needed to be confined. That she was dangerous.

Though if Ruby was dangerous to Salem, that didn't make her a threat, it made her a weapon.

Even if that weapon was currently crying on the sidewalk outside of a hotel.

"Oh," Ruby sniffled and seemed concerned when she noticed Pyrrha standing, sword drawn, in the middle of the night. "Pyrrha I—"

Immediately, Pyrrha dropped the sword on the ground. "I didn't know it was you, Ruby. I apologize."

Ruby frowned. "You don't need to apologize." She wiped at her red eyes. "You didn't do anything wrong." Pyrrha wasn't sure how to respond to that. Every moment she spent near Ruby felt wrong. She didn't belong this close to her, not when she knew so much and had so many voices screaming at her to do her job and take Ruby away. "I forgot that you don't really sleep anymore." Ruby made no effort to stand up, instead resting her head back against the brick wall. "I know the feeling."

She didn't, but Pyrrha understood what Ruby was trying to say. She'd been having trouble sleeping ever since they left the base and Pyrrha imagined it was happening well before that. Ruby was suffering and Pyrrha saw her struggle every day. She knew what it was like to pretend you were okay when you weren't.

"Weiss will be looking for you." Pyrrha said, feeling like she needed to say something.

Ruby smiled at the mention of Weiss' name but shook her head regardless. "She was snoring when I left—it's actually the cutest sound in the world and she'd be so mad if she knew that. I'll slip back in before she notices."

The silence was uncomfortable and Pyrrha couldn't just leave—she had to try. "Why did you leave?" Ruby looked up at her miserably and Pyrrha waved her off. "You don't have to tell me." Why would you want to? I can't help you.

"It's not that I don't want to, it's just that it's so—I don't know how to explain it."

Pyrrha frowned. "I—I'll listen if you want me to. I wouldn't want to intrude."

"You're not," Ruby sighed and patted the spot next to her. Pyrrha balked at first, unsure if it would be so simple as to just sit down next to this girl she'd hunted for years. While she couldn't stop herself from hunting Ruby across the entirety of Remnant, she also remembered every bit of it. Even now, she could remember the feeling of need she had to capture her. It was a burning desire, stronger than any she'd ever known. It was her mission, her duty to take Ruby to her leader at any cost. A cost she would pay for for the rest of her life.

Whatever her life was now.

She knew it would be rude to refuse, so Pyrrha rested against the building and slid to the ground. She maintained a bit of distance between herself and Ruby but it was close enough that Ruby seemed satisfied.

"I've been here before; you know?" Ruby spoke softly—as if she were being very careful with every word she spoke.

"This hotel?"

Ruby shook her head. "This conversation. You and me—together again talking. You used to come to me a lot in my dreams."

"Oh," Pyrrha wasn't expecting that.

"I would ask you if you were mad at me and you'd always say you weren't…which only made me feel worse. I wanted you to be mad at me, I wanted you to hate me. The more you showed up, the more I wanted it. Eventually…I wanted everyone to hate me."

The confession was taking a toll on Ruby, who had started to cry again and furiously wiped away the evidence.

Pyrrha was still trying to process. "Why would I hate you?"

"Because I wasn't fast enough. I—I just stood there and I watched you die. I should have done more."

Images of that day still haunted Pyrrha. The life she'd had; the girl she'd been was all lost on that tower. It was a fight she never should have been in—one she never could have won. Still, back then Pyrrha Nikos couldn't stand by and do nothing. She had to try, it was in her nature to give her best.

Unfortunately, her best on that day had no chance of being enough.

"Ruby, I don't blame you. I'm not mad at you for that."

"I know," Ruby smiled sadly. "I wanted you to be though. When I found out it was you hunting me, I hoped that was why. That you had come after me and that you wanted me to pay for it. I wanted you to kill me."

Pyrrha felt oddly protective. She wanted to reach out and hug Ruby—comfort her in some way. But she couldn't, it wasn't her place and she was not fit to. "You wanted to die?"

She hoped to hear a firm dismissal of the question—instead she was given a shrug. "I didn't want to, but I had days where I thought it might be easier. Y—you were relentless. I lost a lot of sleep running from you or…well…not you…whatever you had become."

"It was me," Pyrrha whispered and refused to meet Ruby's eyes. "I…I was in there somewhere. I was aware of what I was doing and who I was chasing. I didn't have control but I knew. I watched it all and I didn't fight it."

"Could you have?"

It was Pyrrha's turn for the non-committal shrug. "Perhaps. My spirit felt like it was torn out of me. I had no real existence. Just…vision. I could see and I could comprehend but I couldn't choose. I just watched my hands and my body take life after life." Finally, she looked at Ruby. "All for you." Ruby seemed fairly horrified but Pyrrha didn't know what else to say. "You don't deserve to die, Ruby. If anyone does…it's me."

"You already did," Ruby said sadly and lowered her head. "You died and Penny died and so many people around me have suffered and died and it's all because of me. People want me for things I don't even understand. Salem and Ozpin…you…it's too much. All I ever wanted was to hunt and be normal—normal knees." Her voice trailed off and though Pyrrha didn't understand the last part, she sensed the tone. "I thought when I admitted I was depressed it would start to get better, but days like today I just feel so hopeless. I have Weiss, my sister and Blake. You're…here and so is Jaune. I'm not alone anymore but I still feel like I am. I want to get better but I keep blaming myself for everything. I keep messing up."

Pyrrha continued to study Ruby and watch as her friend seemed so stuck in her own head. She didn't know the entirety of Ruby's illness—only that she would spend hours talking with her Uncle before he left with her father.

It was a big debate about whether Qrow should leave at all given Ruby's state, but she insisted because she didn't want to hold anyone back. If Qrow and Taiyang could find help and do good, Ruby didn't want to stand in the way of that.

Because Ruby thought that's what she was doing—standing in the way.

"It has to be for something, right?" Pyrrha asked and Ruby looked at her curiously. "We're still here, you and me—after everything we've been through and we're still here. It has to mean we're here for a reason."

Ruby closed her eyes. "I used to think I was here to be a hero. To save people."

"You still can be," Pyrrha's voice raised just a little and it surprised Ruby. "I've seen how dark the world is, Ruby. I've seen the darkness and the evil—it's ruined me, don't let it do the same to you. You have to keep fighting. You're a threat to Salem—you're important. You can still be a hero."

"Pyrrha, I can't even sleep through an entire night without nightmares or having a breakdown. Who am I going to help?"

"Start with yourself," Pyrrha wasn't sure where this was coming from, but she knew she needed to say it. "You don't understand, Ruby—Salem wanted to hold you prisoner. Strip away everything that made you who you are because you are a threat to her." Her words felt impactful, more so because Ruby seemed to be visibly shaken by them. "Somehow, you survived. You escaped me time after time—I remember that, Ruby. You are a survivor. You beat me and Salem, you can beat this. You can be strong again. I believe in you."

For Pyrrha, it was easy to give speeches. Telling others how great they were made sense. To her, they were all pretty amazing. Ruby and her team, Jaune and all that he'd been through; they were the ones who shined brightest.

Just being able to be here with them again, even if she didn't belong—even if she was a monster—felt like enough.

Seeing Ruby smile made Pyrrha's feel better. It was a sense of accomplishment she hadn't had in forever. For a moment, the torment inside of her vanished. It would return again—it always did and with it would come guilt and misery. For now though, she enjoyed watching Ruby brighten.

"It's really good to have you back, Pyrrha. I—I know that day was awful…for all of us—especially you but I just…" she sighed and shook her head. Pyrrha was certain another apology was on the way but she stopped herself. Before Pyrrha could react, a pair of arms were wrapping around her neck and she was being hugged. It was such a kind gesture and Pyrrha welcome it but failed to return. She didn't feel comfortable touching Ruby. The truth was, she hadn't felt comfortable putting her hands on anyone but especially not Ruby. She wasn't worthy of it, not after all she'd done to the girl.

Instead, she let herself be embraced and when Ruby pulled away, they both stood. "Back to bed?" Pyrrha asked, trying to sound upbeat.

Ruby winced. "Yeah," She looked back at her room. "Think I can sneak in without getting in trouble?"

"I'm certain," Pyrrha answered, knowing full well that Weiss wouldn't mind at all being awoken in the middle of the night.

After bidding a goodnight, Ruby retreated to her room and Pyrrha picked up Jaune's sword from the concrete and slowly made her way back to their room. She fought with all she had to keep those feelings of guilt at bay. A part of her always imagined it would be better if she left—she was dangerous and had no real idea what she was.

The fact that, as they journeyed, she could sense when they were approaching Grimm didn't sit well with her, but she'd kept it to herself because she could control it. There was no point drawing attention to her small changes. The lack of sleep and the fact she didn't eat was just something that everyone silently accepted.

Her sensing Grimm and still hearing the whispers of Salem in her mind were another story. One she didn't want to worry the others with. If she could handle it, she would. If it was too much, she'd put an end to the threat before anyone else was hurt.

Quietly, Pyrrha returned to the room and carefully put Jaune's weapon back in it's sheath before closing the door behind her.

As she turned, she jumped at the sight of Jaune sitting up in bed and watching her.

He was shirtless, with the blanket bunched up around his waist. His hair a mess atop his head and a tired smile on his face, he looked beautiful. Pyrrha swallowed the lump in her throat and backed up a step until she met the door.

"Did I wake you?"

Jaune shook his head. "I woke up on my own. I was going to see how you were doing but you were gone. I was just about to get out of bed and come find you."

"Oh?" Pyrrha smiled. "Yes, you look like you were moments away from leaping out of bed."

"I was!" He cried and Pyrrha laughed softly. "Is everything okay?" Pyrrha nodded but still kept her distance. She fought the urge to run away, as she did a lot lately. Being around the others was hard—but being around Jaune was torture. He never seemed to falter with her. He didn't push and he never asked questions beyond making sure she was doing well. He just accepted and helped when he could. She felt so comfortable around him that it made her uncomfortable.

They were sharing a hotel room and had spent every day together. Sure they hadn't had any deep conversations or addressed any of their real issues, but Pyrrha clung to the safety of Jaune like life support.

Which was ironic considering Pyrrha didn't know if she even was alive sometimes. "It was just some kind of animal."

"No Grimm?" He asked and she eyed him worriedly.

"N—no, no Grimm. Why would you think that?"

He shrugged. "You seem to perk up when they're nearby. Even when the rest of us don't see them."

"Oh," she had not expected him to notice. "I spent a long time chasing you and Ruby through the woods. I suppose I grew accustomed to sensing them."

Jaune nodded—it was another thing that bothered her. She could talk so openly with him about having tried to kill him to get to Ruby a dozen or so times. He didn't seem to care and he certainly wasn't upset about it. He would talk of their encounters and not even flinch. As much as it had affected Ruby, Jaune seemed completely immune.

He was so in the moment that it made Pyrrha forget the past. "That makes sense." He said before she saw him scoot over a bit in bed. "I know you don't sleep but…you must want to lay down sometimes?" He made room for her and Pyrrha felt herself reaching for the doorknob. "I—I'm not…trying anything, I promise. I can get up if it makes you feel better. I just worry about you. You never stop."

His concern touched her, but she didn't move towards the bed. "I simply don't fatigue, Jaune. My body is constantly alert. It was hard enough to sit still while traveling. I'm not used to…rest."

"Must be hard," he frowned and returned the blankets to where they were. "I'd stay up all night with you if I could."

This made Pyrrha smile and she pulled away from the door. "You say this now, but I seem to remember you being horrible to wake up in the mornings."

He scoffed. "Easy for you to say. You were always done training before anyone else got up and Nora always woke up singing and dancing. I had to pick up the lazy slack for the rest of you."

The mention of Nora settled over both of them and Pyrrha retook her seat at the table by the window. "Are you nervous about seeing them again?"

"Are you?"

Pyrrha shook her head. "I asked you first."

Jaune smirked. "Fair, and to answer your question…I'm pretty excited actually. I told them I'd see them again when they split from me and Ruby. I hope they're happy. I guess I kind of hope they turn Blake and Yang down."

"You do?" Pyrrha tilted her head in confusion. As nervous as she had been, she knew how badly they needed the help.

Still, Jaune nodded in confirmation. "I want their lives to be so great that they just can't go with us. I want them to be happy—I'd be happy if Nora was pregnant or something. Anything to keep them safe, you know?"

"Pregnant? Are she and Ren…?"

Jaune waved her off. "Oh no, I don't know. I don't think so. They weren't when they were with us—at least I don't think they were. They shared a sleeping bag sometimes but I never heard any of that…stuff." His face turned red and Pyrrha found it adorable. "Ren never talked to me about any of that and I like to think, as his best friend, he would have come to me for romance advice."

Pyrrha couldn't help herself. "Yes, because when it comes to making a move you are the man to go to."

"Okay that was unfair. You were the one holding back."

Her playful smile suddenly turned sad. "I made a move."

Jaune nodded somberly and looked down. "It's funny how the worst day of my life can also have the best moment stuck right in the middle of it, you know?"

"I do." A silence fell between them and Pyrrha enjoyed it. She enjoyed being around him and how normal it made her feel. It may never be anymore than this, but sometimes she thought that might be enough. Their moment was ruined when Jaune let out a hearty yawn that ended with a goofy squeak. "Go back to sleep," she demanded, waving him off.

"I want to stay up with you."

Pyrrha shook her head. "No, you go to sleep and I'll be here when you wake up."

She watched him lie back down, facing her the entire way as he tucked a pillow under his head.

It stunned her how, after all she'd been through, she could still love this boy so much.