Disclaimer: I do not own anything, all characters belong to JK Rowling
A/N: Hello everyone! This is a one shot that has been in my mind for a few weeks now and it is not my normal fluff, drama or sarcastic humor. This is my first attempt at something a bit darker than my norm. There is no romance in this Dramione one shot, but they are very much interconnected so I think it all works.
*TRIGGER WARNING: Please note that this story includes scenes of a suicide attempt and alludes to self harm, though not the actual act. Please do not go forward if you are uncomfortable with this types of stories. I have not had any experience with what I am about to share with you, I am writing based on what I believe can happen, this is not based on any personal experience on my part or anyone I know.
Special thanks to my beta on this story, AshesofLauren.
Thank you everyone for taking the time to read this one shot, I'm sorry if it makes anyone uncomfortable, I tried to be as sensitive as possible with the given situations. Please, if you or anyone you know are having issues with self harm, depression, or thoughts of suicide, I urge you to get help. Reach out to someone, because I guarantee you, you matter to someone.
Love and Slyther,
Gimi aka Jess
OoOoOoO
The rising sun could be seen through the castle windows as a young blonde boy went strolling in the early morning. Draco Malfoy liked the castle in the early mornings, the quiet and the calm. During the day, the sheer amount of noise would just echo off the stone walls and was sometimes deafening. Being an only child, he enjoyed the peace.
He strolled up to the fifth floor and to the statue of Boris the Bewildered. With a smirk, he clearly whispered the password 'stinkweed', and the statue granted him access to the prefect's bathroom. This bathroom was definitely worth the extra school duties he had to do this year. As a fifth year prefect, access to a bathroom as luxurious as his from home, well that was just too perfect. He had always hated sharing a bathroom with his dorm mates; he was a Malfoy after all! He should have spoken to his father about getting his own suite - he shouldn't have had to share - but that was neither here nor there.
Draco entered the bathroom and began to get his things ready for his bath before breakfast. He gathered his shampoo, soap, towel, and extra clothes and walked into the room with the giant tub. Another incentive to take your bath so early in the morning: no waiting for the bigger tub. He walked in, whistling the tune of Weasley is Our King that he had come up with at the beginning of the year. He didn't notice the writing on the bathroom mirror until he had dropped his things on the bench and turned to unbutton his pyjama top. Then he turned to see the writing on his reflection. Frowning, he went up to it and noticed it was written in a bright shade of red lipstick.
Know It All!
You don't belong in our world!
Bucktooth Beaver!
Frizzy haired and ugly!
Nightmare!
Mudblood!
I hate you!
Draco felt something hard drop in his stomach and he read the words looking back at him. He looked around the prechamber to the bath and saw nothing. Shit, what the hell is this? I wonder who was in here last night. No one gets here earlier than me. Draco went and opened the door to the bath, and time seemed to stand still.
The bath was full to the brim and tinged pink. Draco ran to the edge. The bath was the size of a small pool and sunk into the floor of the room. In the middle was a giant tap with different levers for different types of soaps, scents and bubbles, but none of that was used. Just hot water with steam wafting up from the surface.
When he got to the edge he saw a blurred image of someone sunken beneath the surface surrounded by even pinker water. Draco's body went cold. He ran for the door of the bath and screamed at one of the portraits to find a teacher before running back into the bath. Grabbing his towel, he jumped straight into the bath and dragged whoever it was up, heaving them up over the edge.
The body of the young girl lay limp on the ground, and Draco threw the towel over the naked form, taking in the picture as a whole. He went colder still as he realised that this wasn't just any ordinary girl, but Hermione Granger. The Gryffindor Princess herself was lying pale as a ghost on the ground bleeding from her wrists. Not knowing what to do and not really thinking too clearly, he grabbed her wrists and tried to cease the flow of the bright red liquid flowing freely and warm against his pale fingers.
"Granger! Granger, WAKE UP!" Draco yelled at the comatose girl. What was she thinking?! "Granger, wake the fuck up or I swear to Merlin I will hex you until you're a teapot! SOMEONE HELP!" Draco's screams echoed off the walls, the mermaid in the stained glass window waking in shock. He had noticed the blood would not stop, but he just held on, trying to keep as much of it inside of her as he could.
The door banged open, and Professor McGonagall ran in, dressed in her tartan dressing gown as it was still fairly early. Taking in the stricken look on Draco's face and his hands on her wrists, she rushed over to his side. Bringing out her wand and tapping Hermione's wrists, Draco felt a warm sensation under his fingers and felt the steady flow of blood lessen and then cease completely.
As Professor Snape barrelled through the door, Professor McGonagall was trying to pry Draco's fingers off of Hermione's wrists. "Mister Malfoy, you need to let go," McGonagall said gently. "She will be okay, but I must get her to the hospital wing to get a Blood Replenishing potion. She's lost quite a bit and needs to get there quickly. Come on, Mister Malfoy, let go; she will be fine. You did well."
Draco didn't even realise that his Potions professor was the one to come over and lightly remove his fingers from her. Professor McGonagall transfigured the towel into a robe and levitated her out of the room quickly.
Draco just sat there, staring at the red stained floor, the blood mixing with the water from her body and swirling pink. He stared down at his hands, bright red. She had bled so much, and she was so pale. Red trails could be seen running from his hands and up his forearms from holding her hands up. His pyjama top dripped red from the elbows.
Looking up at his Head of House, he said, "Ppp- Professor? I- I didn't… I found… I ran… I didn't, I swear I tried…" Draco stuttered out. Not sure what to do, he began to shiver. "I just… bath… Granger… sir!"
"Mister Malfoy," Snape said firmly. "Calm down. We know you didn't do anything. Come on, let us clean you up and get you to the hospital wing." With a wave of his wand, the bath drained and the blood on the floor and Draco vanished.
Draco blinked quickly, still shivering. "Wha… why do I-I-I nee-eed to go th-there?"
Professor Snape sighed and dried Draco's clothes. "Because you seem to be suffering from shock. You need a Calming Draught and rest. Come along." Draco followed his Head of House, quietly walking next to the professor, not knowing what to say. Draco stood silently as Professor Snape made sure the statue knew to not allow anyone else in the bathroom that day until further notice. Then he walked his student to the hospital wing.
Once there, Madame Pomfrey ushered him to a bed on her way to a screened-off bed in the far corner of the room. She was carrying several bottles of potions and disappeared behind the screen. Draco made to sit on the bed and wait for the healer, but he had to see her. He followed his professor behind the screen.
The cuts on her wrists were healed and bandaged, but she was still pale. Draco remembered what was written on the bathroom mirror, and he suddenly felt shame hit him like a troll. In the five years he had gone to school with the Gryffindor, he had said every single thing to her that was written on the mirror. More than once, he laughed at her pain and discomfort, usually being one of those who inflicted it. As she lay on the cot, he could not see the proud Gryffindor that would stand up to him time and time again. He saw a broken girl, a girl he had a hand in breaking.
His vision blurred, and he quickly wiped his eyes before anyone could see. Professor McGonagall finally saw him standing there and gave him a small nod as if to tell him she would be okay. Nodding back in understanding, he backed out from the closed-off bed and went to lay down. His professor came back to him after checking on Hermione and gave him Calming and Dreamless Sleep draughts, ordering him to sleep. Draco only heard that he was excused from classes before his heavy lids closed and he fell into a slumber.
OoOoOoO
Hours later he woke and sat up quickly, confused as to where he was and why he was there. Noticing the screened-off bed, it all came back to him, and the trauma began to sit on his chest like Hagrid doing the two step. Clutching at his chest, he was sure he was dying. Madame Pomfrey must have sensed his distress as she came right over with another Calming Draught for him, and he gulped it down like the Elixir of Life.
Finally able to feel his lungs expand again, he looked up at the medi-witch and asked, "How is Granger? Is she ok? Did I do it wrong?"
"Do what wrong, child? Miss Granger will be fine with a bit of rest," the healer assured him. "You did everything correctly, Mister Malfoy. She is very lucky you came in when you did. She did herself real harm. Taking a hot bath increased the flow of blood. Another few minutes and you would have walked in on a completely different scenario."
Draco sat baffled. A few more minutes? Different scenario? Does that mean she would have died? Really died? Of course Draco had heard stories of students dying at the school. At a magical school, accidental deaths were rare, but they did happen. Just last year during the TriWizard Tournament, the Hufflepuff, Diggory, almost died during a duel with Potter against Voldemort. With so many underage witches and wizards learning to do proper magic, it was a given, but there hadn't been an actual death while they were at school. Draco had never known anyone his age to die or even really come close to it. "Really?"
"Really, Mister Malfoy," a new voice echoed from the door of the wing. The Headmaster, Professor Dumbledore, had just entered. Madame Pomfrey made to move away and tend to her only other patient. "Miss Granger is quite lucky you have a penchant for early morning hygiene."
Draco blushed and looked over at the screen. Following his gaze, Professor Dumbledore sighed and gave him an understanding look. "You seem conflicted, my boy. Perhaps wondering if you did your duty as a pureblood?"
"No," Draco answered defiantly but knowing his hot cheeks gave him away. He had actually thought about what his father might have said. While not as frightened of his father now that the bastard was in Azkaban for being in the graveyard during that ill-attempt to bring his Lord back from interspatial existence, he was still a Malfoy and a Slytherin. He may not have cared, but some of his house mates with old fashioned blood views might not be so kind.
The Headmaster just looked at Draco with a knowing smile. "Will you come with me to check on Miss Granger? I need to get an update from Madame Pomfrey."
Draco nodded in agreement and went to move out of bed. He realised he must have slept hard; his body was stiff from non-movement. He shuffled slightly until his legs began to feel more like normal and accompanied the Headmaster to Hermione's bed.
Madame Pomfrey had been checking her temperature when they went behind the screen, and Draco let out a breath of relief that she had gotten some of her color back. The Headmaster went over to the medi-witch and began to go over her prognosis, and Draco walked over to Hermione's bed and sat in the chair situated next to it.
He stared at the witch, remembering what she had looked like under the pink water, eyes closed and lifeless. He watched her breathing in and out and realised he hadn't even seen her breathing when he pulled her out, hadn't even known what to do other than to hold her veins closed.
He looked down at his own hands as the memory of holding her wrists tightly came flooding back into his mind, half expecting them to be red again but finding nothing but pale porcelain skin. The medi-witch must have transfigured his previously bloodied pyjamas because he had just noticed the standard pair that was given to students in the hospital wing.
Draco looked at the bandages covering her wrists. They had spots of red, and he frowned. "Madame Pomfrey, why is she bleeding again? Isn't she healed?" he asked, reaching out and lightly touching the bandage, almost afraid it would gush out like an Aguamenti charm.
Madame Pomfrey shook her head sadly. "She cut very deeply. While magic was able to stem the majority of the bleeding and stitch up the damaged nerves and tendons, she still has a lot of healing to do the Muggle way. She'll be here in the ward for a few weeks so I can make sure she heals properly."
Draco gaped. She had done real damage; magic couldn't heal her completely. Even when the chicken tore into his arm in third year, he had been healed by the end of the day, but Hermione would be here for weeks! Since when do you call her Hermione? Since when do you care? She's just a stupid Mud- Don't you dare finish thinking that sentence! His mind argued with himself as the mirror flashed into his mind. Mudblood! and You don't belong! came rushing into his mind, and he winced. He touched her hand, almost surprised to feel it warm to the touch. He remembered it being cold the only time he had ever touched her.
Her hand reacted to his, moving inward as if to grab it but not able to because of the damage. Draco looked up and saw Hermione open her eyes briefly in surprise. Draco also jumped in surprise. "Granger? Are you ok?" He watched as tears sprang to her eyes and she turned to look at a wall, not looking at him properly. Understanding, he moved his hand and left the curtained-off area and back to his bed.
OoOoOoO
The next few weeks Hermione had stayed in the hospital wing and Draco had noticed that no one had really even noticed she was gone. Slytherin house didn't care, that was a given. A few Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws had mention her being out of classes but usually in passing. It was the reaction of her own house that surprised Draco the most. Even the dundering duo hadn't noticed that their supposed best friend was missing.
Walking behind the Gryffindors one day on the way to potions, Draco overheard that looney Ravenclaw ask Potter where Hermione was. Potter just shrugged at Draco scoffed. As Potter turned around he realised that he had done it outloud and not just in his head.
"You got a problem Malfoy?" Weasley sneered.
"Yeah, your best friend has been missing for weeks and you two don't even know where she is?" Draco spat back. He didn't know why, but that thought had made Draco angry. "Some bunch of do gooder Gryffindors you are." Draco pushed through the two stunned lions and walked into Potions. He hadn't been up to see Hermione since he was released later that same day, but it wasn't like she would be expecting him too, he was Draco Malfoy… Slytherin Prince… Pureblood and she was Gryffindor's Princess, but surely her two friends would have known she was in the hospital wing.
The rest of the class took their seats and Professor Snape began his lesson, setting them to the task of brewing some simple healing potions for the hospital wing. The Slytherins all got to work while the Gryffindors looked confused as to how to even start.
"Merlin how do you all do your zips without Granger?" Blaise Zabini cracked as Ron Weasley's cauldron began to smoke purple steam and smell something putrid. The Slytherins all chortled sans Draco, he was concentrating on his potion, noticing the wafting steam in his own cauldron. The healing potion was a precise shade of pink when Draco began to feel his hands tremor. His eyes glazed over as the cauldron shimmered into a pool, a pool of hot steaming pink water. He stared at his reflection, vaguely hearing the snarking going on in the room around him, but seeing an outline of a body under the liquid. Draco smacked the cauldron away and the potion when flying out, all over the table.
Draco stared down at his wet hands, getting some of the potion on him and all he saw was red. He looked up at the Professor who was staring at him. "Sir, I need to go to the Hospital wing. Iii… I burned my hand." Draco finished lamely. He tried to translate that he needed a calming draft, he needed out of the room, he needed away from the pink tinged potion. Snape nodded and Draco walked quickly out of the room, the whole class staring after him.
"Guess, Malfoy couldn't stand your stench any longer either Weasley." Blaise commented and the class laughed.
Draco walked up to the Hospital Wing, his chest feeling too small for his lungs. He pushed open the doors and rushed in. Madame Pomfrey took one look at him and got him a potion as he sat on a bed.
He gulped it down gratefully and exhaled slowly noticing that Hermione was sitting on her bed with the curtain opened for the first time since she had been up there. She had been looking at him as he walked in and giving him a curious look.
Draco swallowed and gave her a tight smile. Getting up and walking over. "Um, how have you been?" He asked stiffly closing the curtain as he went to sit down next to her bed. He noticed her bandages were clean this time.
Hermione looked pained. "Um, I'm fine I guess." She looked just as uncomfortable as he felt.
"Look Granger." Draco started and then stopped. His mind went blank, he wasn't sure what to say next. "Look…" he started again. "I'm sorry I startled you when I was here last time. I…" What? I'm sorry for being a ponce? Sorry for making fun of you for five years? Sorry for making your life hell? All great starters for a girl who almost died. He thought to himself. He looked over at the girl whom he had never liked based on the simple fact that he was always told her blood was dirty. But he knew better, he knew her blood was just the same as his, he felt it run under his fingers, the warm liquid he tried in vain to keep inside her. After everything he had said to tease her about her muddy blood, he knew it wasn't, but how do you tell her that? That he knows she's every bit the witch that he was a wizard?
"Malfoy." Her voice interrupted his thoughts. His grey eyes met her hazel. "Thank you. For… um… you know…" She didn't want to say it and for that he was thankful, he really didn't want to relive it.
He nodded and said. "Yeah, it's fine Granger. I'm sorry too." The words felt like saw dust on his tongue. He had never apologised to anyone before and here he had already done it twice in the course of two minutes. They sat there awkwardly, he wanted to ask her why, why did she do it, but it wasn't his place. "Granger, why don't Weasel and Potty know about you being up here?"
Hermione blushed. "I told Professor McGonagall to tell them I went home to take care of my sick mother. I don't want them to know about this at all."
"Why not Granger? They're your friends, they should know you were hurt." Draco told her and he watched as silent tears began to fall from her eyes.
She sucked in a breath and let it out slowly. "They won't understand. They won't understand my moment of weakness. I'm a bloody Gryffindor, I'm suppose to be brave. It just won't do any good telling them."
Draco was confused. "What does being weak have to do with you hiding this from your friends? I mean, they aren't Slytherins, they won't use your moment of weakness, as you call it, as ammunition to use against you."
"No, not in the same way, but they will use it as an excuse to tell me off, that I'm working too hard, that I am trying too much, that I need to slow down, which is exactly what I don't need to hear right now." Hermione huffed. "They will use it as an excuse to goof off more, like we don't have OWLs coming up and career assessments and our entire futures which rely on these scores. They just won't understand that I need to just look at this as a setback and move forward. I've been talking to mind healers, I understand what I need to do, everything will be fine."
Draco stared at the witch like she grew a second head in front of his eyes. He grabbed her hand gingerly and held it up. "This." He started. "Is not a little set back. Do you know what Madame Pomfrey told me that morning? That if I had been even a minute later coming into the bathroom, you would have died. DEAD Granger, not a set back because we have exams coming up, but dead as in the ghosts that roam these halls."
"I know." She whispered trying to pull her hand back, but he held it firmly. "But I can't, they can't know. Draco. Please. I can't tell them, I can't tell anyone. No one can know what happened." She grabbed his fingers and she winced in pain.
"Are you okay?"
She nodded yes. "It's just still a bit weak, Madame Pomfrey says I should be fine to leave the wing tomorrow evening, but I will have scarring…" She had whispered the last part, tears blinding her eyes, threatening to fall again. "Please don't tell Draco, I couldn't stand it if everyone knew what happened. I know you hate me and I'm sure I'm asking in vain…"
"What do you mean I hate you?" Draco's voice raised slightly. "Granger, I pulled you out of the bath and held on while your blo… while help came. I don't, I thought I did and maybe at one time I did, but not now. Merlin, don't you see how much crap I would get from my house if they found out? But we aren't talking about me, I won't tell anyone, but you should."
Hermione nodded and said she would think about it. For the rest of the class period they sat there in silence neither one of them releasing the other's hand but not acknowledging that they spent a half hour in the comfort of each other's grasp.
OoOoOoO
Hermione was released from the hospital wing in the early evening the next day. Draco watched her come into the Great Hall and receive an abysmal greeting from her friends. Things had gone back to normal for her, her friends were still idiots, she was still the over achiever, life seem to go on.
Over the next few weeks he continued to watch the Gryffindor, it was like he was an addict, he just couldn't stop. During class, meals, prefect meetings. His fellow Slytherins couldn't help but notice his growing interest in the little lion but dared not to speak to him about it. He was still a Malfoy, they valued their own interests more than they valued teasing him.
As O. approached, the teachers began to pile on the revision work. Draco continued to watch as he saw Hermione get more frazzled. He noted how much more stressed she looked as the days went on. One day she was in the library with the two twats, she was studying while they were chatting about quidditch.
She was taking notes and making adjustments when Ron looked over and said. "Oi, Hermione. Can I see your notes when you're done? I uh, need to check some things."
He had watched her as she turned red, slammed her book shut, got up and walked up an aisle to look for another book. She wasn't quite out of hearing distance when Ron whispered loudly. "Geeze, mental isn't she? I just asked to look at her notes."
"Ron, just leave it." Draco heard Harry say. "You know how she is about school work." And that was it. The boys left the library and Draco had gone to look for Hermione. He found her close by, knowing that she had heard her friends. There were tears in her eyes as she pretended to scan a book for information.
Draco looked at her, he noticed her robes hung on her differently, she wasn't eating much lately at meals, she was pale still, not the same as she had been all those months ago, but like she never left the castle to get any sun and there were dark purple circles under her eyes, she hadn't slept well for a long time. He sighed and went into his bag for an apple and a chocolate frog. Walking up to her he whispered. "Here Granger." And he reached out to give her the apple and the sweet.
She looked at him curiously, not taking the food just yet. "What is this for Malfoy? There's no food allowed in the library and besides, I'm not hungry."
Draco just stared at her, food still outstretched in his hand. "You're not hungry because you're not eating properly, take this food before I charm it down your throat, either way, you are eating it."
"But…" He sneered at her slightly, she sighed and took them. Putting the apple in her pocket for later, she opened the chocolate frog and bit its head off before it could jump away. "Happy now?"
"A bit, don't pay those idiots any mind, Granger." Draco told her. Another confused look on her face as she leaned up against a table, they had walked towards the back of the aisle.
"What do you mean?" She faked ignorance and he snorted at her.
"Don't pretend you didn't hear those morons talking about you. Weasel thinks you're his personal note taker. Don't let them get to you."
"Why do you care Malfoy?" She asked, shoving the rest of the candy in her mouth.
He opened to answer her back and then frowned in thought. He wasn't exactly sure why, but he realised that he did care. He wasn't exactly sure which feeling was more foreign, the fact that he cared or that it was her that he cared about. He noticed she was still standing there waiting for an answer and he picked up her hand, turned it over and ran his thumb over the faded scar under a bracelet she always wore. "I care." He squeezed her fingers and walked away. "Be sure to eat that apple Granger." He whispered over his shoulder, not looking back. "You're entirely too thin."
The week of OWLs Draco was busy with his own exams but he noticed Hermione was still thin and always looked like she was on the verge of tears. This was not an uncommon look amongst the fifth years. Several members of the class had fits of tears or outbursts of rage over the course of the last month or so.
No one noticed that it was different for Hermione. She was on the verge of cracking, he could see it. It worried him, the manic look in her eyes when she was revising in the library. She had started pulling away from her friends, snapping when they would ask a simple question and they had began to leave her alone more often than not.
Draco had openly threatened his house to leave the Gryffindor alone. The Slytherins all thought it was because he was losing his mind, Pansy Parkinson even accusing him for having feelings for the Mudblood. At the word, the word he remembered seeing in red on a mirror, a word he avoided using at all costs for months, he lost his temper and threw a tumbler against the stone and it shattered so violently that even though there wasn't anyone near the wall, the tiny bits of glass landed across the room and hit Blaise and Theo Nott who were standing next to Pansy.
The entire common room went silent. Draco was prone to sneering and violent threats, but never had he been physically aggressive. He left that to Crabbe and Goyle. "Don't EVER use that word again Parkinson. Next time, it won't be a glass I take my anger out on." He looked around at the stunned fifth years and even some of the older students. "Focus on your studies, we can't look like a house of idiots like the Gryffindorks." He took a step closer to Pansy and she swallowed hard. "Do you understand me? Focus on yourself and leave everyone else alone." He asked her in a low, menacing growl. She whimpered and nodded, eyes downcast. She looked up into his silver eyes, no longer was there the shadow of the boy she knew, this was a man who would not be disobeyed. He flicked his eyes over to Blaise and Theo and they both nodded as well.
Knowing that the rest of the house would follow suit if these three did, he left the common room and the Slytherins sat there pondering if their Prince had lost his gobstones. Though, he had been right, Slytherin house needed to buckle down and concentrate on their own exams.
On the last day of exams, Draco could tell, that was the final straw. He watched as during the exam she kept wiping her eyes, tears could not just help but fall one at a time. After it was over she ran from the room. Draco walked out of the Great Hall, where the exams were taking place, to catch the trio of Gryffindors in a heated argument. "Honestly Hermione, it's just an test!" Ron yelled loudly. The entire class was staring at them. "It doesn't mean anything! Stop worrying about it. Harry and I are sick of it." He watched as the tears flooded down her face and he knew it had happened. He watched her break.
"Fine Ronald!" She spat back vehemently. "Fine! It means nothing! I mean nothing! I'm sorry I don't look like a quaffle in order to garner more attention from you or Harry!" She gathered up her books and bag and stomped off.
Ron turned to Harry and said something about mental girls and Draco sneered at both of them. "You are both idiots! Do you know what kind of pressure she's been under?! You are suppose to be her best mates and you treat her worse than I ever did."
Harry turned towards Malfoy, a look of confusion on his face, but Ron bit back. "Shove off Malfoy! What do you know of it? She's just some stupid Know It All to you, isn't she? A lowly Mudblood?" The entire hall gasped.
Draco narrowed his eyes. "I haven't called her there in ages Weaselbee, if fact. I haven't said anything to her for a long time, though it's nice to know what you really think about her. And in front of the entire class even."
Ron paled. "I was just saying what you were thinking Ferret."
Draco laughed. "But that is where you are wrong. I haven't thought that of Granger in a long time, I've been keeping an eye on her, she's been on the brink of a breakdown for weeks and you and Potty have been blinded with your own stupid lives to notice that she needs you. She has been your friend for five years and you show no interest in her well being and her enemy for five years has, you are pathetic."
Draco pushed hard past the two gobsmacked boys and ran to find Hermione. He was afraid, he had seen the look in her eyes, that look he had seen the day of her accident, the look of fear, despair and loss. He ran quicker to the only place he could think of. Shouting the password to the prefects bathroom, he heard sobbing.
Bracing for what he might walk in on, he pushed past the antechamber doors and into the changing room, not caring if she was actually bathing. He had to make sure she was ok.
She was not.
Hermione was there, sitting with her clothes disheveled again, lipstick stains on her hands. Words on the mirror.
Mental!
Know It All!
Nightmare!
Bookworm!
She sat with the hem of her skirt raised to mid thigh and Draco could see the faded pink lines of healed skin, she was staring at a razor in her hands, her fingers trembling as she sat tears streaming down her face.
Draco walked over slowly and sat in front of her. He could tell by the glassy look in her tear filled eyes that she hadn't really noticed he was there. "Granger." He whispered, not wanting to startle her when she was holding the sharp object. She was not in her right mind at the moment and scaring her would not be helpful. "Hermione." He called out a bit louder and she looked up, never once hearing her given name from his lips.
He reached out and gently took the blade from her trembling hand. Putting it on the floor next to him, he grasped her hand again. "Hermione what are you doing?"
"I'm drowning Draco." She whispered, he gently drew circles in a calming fashion on the skin next to her thumb. "I'm drowning and nobody sees, nobody cares. The last few days, I can barely breathe. I just… I can't… what is happening to me?"
Draco scooted over and sat against the wall next to her and she put her head on his shoulder. He sat with her as she cried, leaning his own head against hers. "Do you know that I've been watching you ever since that day? Do you know what it's like to walk into a pool of blood and an almost dead girl drowning? My life has changed since that day as well you know. I woke up for weeks convinced I still had your blood on my hands. I scrubbed my hands raw for days." Her crying slowed and quieted as she listened to him speak. "My life was fairly easy before you happened to me. But I still have nightmares of walking in on your dead body, in this very room by the way."
"I'm sorry yo.." She had started but he shushed her.
"Stop saying sorry." He chastised her. "You are the one who needed help, who still needs help." He stroked a faded scar on her leg. "You should have told your friends Hermione. They need to know what is going on."
"I can't. I won't be able to stand the looks, the whispers. It's bad enough being muggle born, being Harry Potter's friend, but now to be thought of a mental case. Ron doesn't need to be right about me."
Draco snorted. "You are not mental. You are brilliant, but you put too much pressure on yourself. You don't need to be perfect you know, I know it's hard to measure up to me." He teased and she giggled a little. "But we can't all be me."
Hermione laughed, her voice a bit shaky. "Yes, we wouldn't have enough room in class if our heads were all as big as yours Malfoy." Draco even chuckled a bit at her dig of him.
"Seriously though Granger." Draco said squeezing her hand. "You don't need to be perfect. Perfect grades, perfect everything. You don't need it. You need to stay healthy, need to eat, sleep and have a little fun sometimes."
"I have fun." She began to argue lifting her head off his shoulder and Draco burst out laughing. "Reading is fun. Learning is fun."
Draco laughed and nodded at her, trying to keep a straight face and failing, laughing again. "Yes, sure, school textbooks are fun to read. I believe you Granger, but you might try going outside and getting some sun. You are starting to be as pale as I am, but you just can't pull it off quite like me." She snorted at him and he chuckled again and sighed. "Fun aside, you need to stay healthy. You should talk to Madame Pomfrey about getting more help, whatever 'This'" He said gesturing to her leg of healed marks. "Is, isn't healthy."
"I know, I will." She promised, she put her head back down on his shoulder. "Draco, why do you care? If I'm healthy, why do you care?"
He looked back at their grasped hands. Turning her hand over, palm up, he moved the bracelet and stroked the healed scar. "I care Hermione. I care." And he kissed her on the forehead.
The End.