Going Home

Chapter II

Father and Son

The next morning Carl joined Rick out in front of the house to load the SUV. Rick loaded several cans of gasoline along with a tool kit, weapons, rope and food.

"You ready?" Rick asked Carl.

"I think so." He said hoisting his pack in the back seat.

Rick pulled a .45 automatic weapon out of his waist band and handed it along with an extra clip and a box of bullets to Carl. Carl took the gun and looked up at his father. The gun was brand new.

"My father gave me the Python when I joined the sheriff's department. It meant a lot to me. Not the gun, but that my father had given it to me. You've earned this son, the same rules apply, the moment you stop respecting this weapon, I'll take it from you."

"Thanks Dad." Carl genuinely smiled which made the tightness in Rick's chest ease up some.

Michonne and Judith came out and joined them at the car.

"You two be good out there." Michonne said smiling. "I guess now we girls will have some peace and quiet around here."

"Don't get used to it." Rick said putting his arms around Michonne and Judith. "I'm going to miss you. He whispered in Michonne's ear, then he kissed her lips. He then turned to his daughter in Michonne's arms, and she grabbed his face with her tiny hands and puckered her lips for her kiss.

"I'll bring you back something special." Rick said looking at Michonne.

"What?" Michonne said smiling.

"Me." He said with a wink.

"See you Michonne, bye Judith." Carl said climbing into the car.

"Four days at the longest." Rick said to Michonne.

"If you're not back we'll come."

Rick nodded and got into the car. He drove off toward the gate looking at Michonne and Judith through the rear view mirror.

Michonne watched them drive away, praying that they really will be good out there.

Even though there was nothing left for them in King County, Rick thought it could be the one thing that could bring him and Carl together like they could have been if the world they once knew hadn't died.

Once on the road, they really didn't talk much, but Carl's mood was light, and Rick couldn't recall a time where the two of them were in a car together where they weren't running. This almost felt normal. It was late summer and everything was green and lush. Unfortunately, it all was far from normal. Every so often off in the distance walkers could be seen.

"So are we going to scavenge?" Carl asked gazing out the window at all the big trees.

"We don't really have a plan. I wanted to spend some time with you, so we'll just play it by ear for now."

Carl nodded his head and gazed back out the window.

An hour away from Alexandria, they stopped at what looked like a very small settlement with a gas station and several small shops.

As usual, they parked just outside of this area and got out of the car. They looked around carefully before walking up the street.

"Remember how Michonne would always bring things back for us from her runs?"

"Yeah."

"Let's find something for her."

Rick smiled and almost laughed at the good idea.

"That sounds great! What do you think she would want?"

"Dad, she's your girlfriend, you think of something from you, and I'll get her something from me."

Rick nodded a little embarrassed that his son knew what to do, and he was a little bit rusty at it.

They went into a specialty craft shop where Carl found a painting he thought Michonne would like.

"We were scavenging in a house once that had a lot of art work in it, and I noticed Michonne checking out the paintings."

"She'll appreciate that you remembered. I think I have something in mind."

They left that shop and Rick led them to a jewelry store he saw a few doors up. They went in, and after securing the store, Rick found what he was looking for. Carl smiled nodding his approval of his father's choice.

"It'll be dark in a few hours and we're about an hour from King County. Do you want to go ahead or find a place to sleep for the night?"

"Why don't we stay here for the night?" Carl said.

"Okay. Let's find a spot."

That first night was quiet and uneventful. A walker could be heard in the far distance, but since they were not building a fire, they were pretty safe.

Early in the morning they started out, and as they entered King County, Rick pulled onto a side street shortly before entering the city. About 5 miles in, Rick turned down a narrow road where Carl could see a group of houses on both sides of the road.

"Where are we?"

"Grimesville."

Carl looked at his father puzzled, and Rick laughed.

"My grandfather owned this property which is roughly several hundred acres. His house is at the end of this road, and his children, my father and his brothers and sisters built houses off this road. So, Grimesville."

Carl laughed as he looked around in awe at the tiny settlement.

Rick, ever vigilant, scanned for walkers or any live persons. He was mildly surprised there were no walkers around. He drove to the end of the road and stopped just short of his grandfather's house. No one had lived in that house for almost 10 years, and it was starting to show signs of decay. He continued on and pointed out to Carl the houses of his aunt and uncles. Heading back in the direction they had come, he pulled off the road, looking around carefully before backing into the driveway.

"I grew up in this house." Rick was happy that the house was still standing. His own had been burned down. He parked the car behind the house in such a way that if they needed to leave in a hurry, they could get to the car easily. They got out of the car, drew their weapons and entered the house.

"Who lived here last?"

"I inherited the house, but someone was in the process of buying it before the outbreak."

"Dad look."

Just to the right of the door, Carl stood looking down on a box. Rick read the name written on the box. "Grimes."

"First things first. Let's finish clearing the house, unload the car, and then we'll see what's in this box."

The house was clear and in surprisingly good condition. There was even canned goods in the cabinets.

"We'll stay here for tonight, and start heading back home tomorrow. What do you think?"

"That sounds good."

Rick went back to the box, knelt down and opened it. It was full of photographs of his family. Rick paused for a second to get control of his emotions.

"Your mom and I loaded this box. This is her handwriting. We were supposed to come back and get it."

Rick and Carl sat down at the table together eating their lunch and going through the photographs.

"This is my mom and dad, and my brother Jeffrey."

"You had a brother? Where is he?"

"Last we heard he was in Europe."

Rick was quiet for a moment, wondering if going through these pictures was such a good idea.

"Who is this?" Carl said through a mouthful of food.

"My grandpa, my dad's father."

"He's the one who fought in the war?"

"Yeah, you remember me talking about that?"

"Yeah. You may not have noticed, but everything you've ever said, I've heard."

"Carl, I'm sorry I didn't spend more time with you."

"You couldn't. I understand."

"How could you? I wouldn't understand if I were you. My father and I were close. I wanted that with you."

"You and grandpa didn't have walkers and bad people chasing you."

"True, but I'm not using that as an excuse. It's a reason why, but I don't excuse myself."

"Dad, you were needed and you stepped up and helped."

"But you suffered for that. My mind was…my mind was in a bad place, you saw that. I bet you thought the only family you had left was Judith."

Carl nodded.

"Things happened to us that were beyond your control."

"And some of the decisions I made caused those things to happen. You told me that the prisoner I left alive killed your mother, and I didn't kill the governor when I met with him and he killed Hershel."

Carl was quiet for a moment remembering the awful things he said to his father.

"Dad, I did mean those things I said, but I didn't mean to hurt you."

"They did hurt, but I needed to know how you felt about what happened. There are times you have to make decisions that are difficult to make. I don't believe in killing when you don't have to. I didn't know that prisoner would survive. I let him loose in a yard full of walkers. Maybe I should have killed the governor when I had the chance, but I couldn't, and I couldn't know what he would do. I know you disagree with me, but son, when you make those difficult decisions, you need to understand why you made that particular decision."

"Have a code. Daryl talked to me about that."

"He told me. Having a code is important. One day it's going to be you who leads. No one will follow you if they don't know that you would at least try to do the right thing. Sometimes you have no choice, but when you don't have a choice, make sure you have no other choice."

"What's the right thing Dad?"

Tears came to Rick's eyes. His son really didn't know.

"To do the least amount of harm to another person. If possible, no harm at all. In this world that's as good as it gets. There has to be a line that you don't cross. I know you've seen me do some things no child should have to see his father or anyone do, but when it comes to your safety, I'll do whatever needs to be done."

"So will I."

"Again, you need to understand why you do certain things. You have to feel it. When you shot that boy, what did you feel?"

Rick was afraid to ask this question, for fear of what Carl's answer would be.

"I had to do it Dad."

"You told me that, but what did you feel? Did you hate it, like it?" Rick was getting impatient, but forced himself to remain calm.

"I really didn't think about it. I knew the governor attacked us and this guy was with him."

"Do you realize he was a human being just like you? He was scared Carl. The governor lied to him, his parents, everyone. Tara was part of the governor's group. She didn't want to be there, and when she found out who he was, she put her gun down."

Carl looked down at the ground while his father talked to him. Rick looked at his son and decided they had talked enough for right now. Rick got up and went into a room near the back door of the house and Carl suddenly heard him laughing. Carl got up and followed his dad's laughter. He peered into the dark room and heard that his father was walking toward him. When he walked into the light, his father stood in front of him holding fishing rods, tackle box, and had a huge smile on his face.

"Wanna go fishing?"

"Yeah!" Carl said smiling.

The two of them collected as much fishing gear as they could find and headed out to the back of the house. A lake ran from behind his father's house, to the back of his grandfather's house out to about a mile.

"I used to go fishing a lot with my dad, but I stopped when he died. It wasn't the same after he was gone. I should have kept fishing though, I really enjoyed it."

"I wished Michonne and Judith were here."

Rick smiled at his son.

"Me too. Maybe one day we can come back with them, but today it's just you, me and the fish."

Carl looked down and smiled. Just him and his father.

Inside the barn near the lake, Rick and Carl pulled out a very dusty dingy and put it in the lake.

"Go ahead and tie it off. You're the master at knots." Rick said feeling in his element on the lake.

They both loaded the dingy and climbed aboard. Out in the middle of the lake, Rick showed Carl how to put bait on the hook, they used leftovers from their lunch. When casting their lines, Rick smiled at the quick study his son was, and of course he ended up catching the most fish.

"Let's get to shore and cook these up."

Carl rowed them back to shore and Carl showed him how Shane taught him how to clean fish. Rick got the feeling that Carl may have block out the fact that he put a turned Shane down. He did not want to remind him if he had. Carl liked Shane and Rick did not want to destroy that too. They built a fire in an old BBQ grill and stood together and cooked the fish. They sat down at the table and enjoyed grilled fish.

"This is great Dad."

"Yes it is. I'm glad we did this."

"Dad, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure son."

"How do you know when you're in love?"

Rick was totally caught off guard. He hadn't even had a chance to have 'that talk' with Carl, and thought this might just be the time.

"I'll answer that, but what made you ask? Do you think you're in love?"

"I don't think so. I think it must be different than just liking someone."

"It is." Rick smiled thinking of Michonne.

"Well?" Carl said laughing, knowing his dad was thinking of Michonne.

"Well, it's a feeling like no other you'll ever feel. It's great, sickening, confusing, sweet, thrilling…"

Carl started laughing and it made Rick's heart glad, because he thought Michonne was the only one who could make him laugh.

"I said it was like no other feeling you'll ever have."

"But all that?"

"Yes, and more."

"When did you know you were in love with Michonne?"

Rick got serious and looked down at his empty ring finger, thinking about how much he wanted to marry Michonne.

"It was after we got the walkers out of Alexandria and everything was quiet, and we had a chance to think about what we had been feeling probably for a long time. What I remember is that I had loved her for a long time before that, but I only let myself feel it after your accident. After we helped you heal up, and we got to spend a lot of quiet time talking, mostly about you."

"I think I knew you liked her when we came here and found Morgan."

Rick looked at Carl curiously.

"You needed her Dad, and looking at the two of you, it was like you belonged together."

Rick smiled and turned away from Carl and wiped away a tear.

"She means a lot to me. How do you feel about her?"

"I miss Mom, but Michonne is like she's my mom now, and we're friends too. Does that make sense?"

"Yes it does." Rick smiled and nodded at Carl.

"She'll be the only mother Judith will ever know. Are we going to tell Judith about Mom?"

"Of course. She needs to know who her birth mother was. I'm glad there was a picture of her in that box."

"Me too. The one me and Michonne got out of the King County Café got left behind at the prison."

"You never told me about that." Rick said curious to hear how they got along on Carl's run to get Judith a crib.

"She helped me get that picture of you, me and Mom. I wanted to get it on my own, but Michonne wouldn't let me, so she helped me. I love her Dad, she's a superhero."

"She sure is to me."

Rick got up and put the dirty dishes into a bag to take back to Alexandria to wash. He helped clean up and pack other supplies and things they were taking back home.

"Carl, we're going to go to the cemetery on our way out of town. I want to visit my parent's graves."

"Okay Dad. Should we pack the car tonight?"

"Yeah, let's get an early start."

Carl carried out a few bags to the car. Twenty feet from him were 2 walkers headed for the house. Carl put the bags down, looked so see if there were more walkers. and slowly made his way toward them.

"Dad." He called out to Rick.

Rick came to the door just as Carl was taking out the second walker.

"Is that all of them?"

"Yeah." Carl said walking back to the house.

Rick was glad Carl could take care of himself. He would be talking to him more, given his insensitivity to killing the living.

While Carl slept, Rick spent most of the night listening for more walkers outside and going through the old house, recalling the memories that helped to make him the man he used to be. He liked that man, and was learning to like the man he had become; a mixture of good and bad, just like the new world.

Rick was still awake when Carl woke up in the morning. He was excited to get on the road home. He missed Michonne and Judith very much, and couldn't wait to see them.

"Good morning Dad." Carl said sitting up and yawning.

"Good morning. Carl, I wanted to apologize to you about you getting shot."

"Which time?" Carl said smiling.

Rick shook his head wondering if their bonding had turned his son into a comedian.

"Your eye."

"I'll be alright Dad. I know I was faking being okay with it before, I'm not, but I think if I can talk to you sometimes, and spend time with you, it will help me get used to it, like yesterday and today."

"Are you sure? I want you to be straight with me. That's another good thing to have in your code. Say what you mean, and mean what you say."

"Okay. I do mean it."

Rick smiled and walked over to Carl and hugged him. "I love you son."

"I love you too Dad."

They finished packing the car and Rick stood in front of the house and looked around to what was left of the other houses on the road.

Rick turned around and looked at Carl.

"Something's missing." Rick said.

"What?"

"I learned how to drive on this road. You wanna give it a try?"

Carl didn't answer, but simply jumped out of the car and ran around to the driver's side. Laughing, Rick got in on the passenger's side and handed Carl the keys. He started out a little spastic, but soon had a handle on driving and pulled out onto the highway and followed Rick's directions to the cemetery.

Rick remembered where his parents were buried and crouched down and pulled away some of the tall grass that had grown around the headstones. He stood silently with his head bowed. He missed his parents and wished they had been able to meet Carl, Judith and Michonne. He was finally truly happy. He wanted them to know that, in spite of that fact that their lives were being controlled by a madman, and then again he was grateful to God that his parents and Lori were not alive to see it.

Carl finally joined his father and committed to his memory, the names of his grandparents.

"You ready to go home?"

"Yes. Can I drive?"

"For a while." Rick said laughing.

Carl took to driving like he was born to it. He talked for a long time, asking Rick questions about things that happened that they had kept from him like Beth and Tyreese's deaths. Rick told him the truth, all of it.

"Dad, what happened between you and Mom?"

Rick always knew Carl would get around to asking him about their marriage. He just hoped Carl would have been older, and then again, Carl was older, much older than his actual age.

"Pull over. I'll drive the rest of the way."

"Dad, I want to know…"

"I'm going to tell you, but sometimes you shouldn't be driving while having a serious conversation." That sounded stupid to Carl, but his father was serious. Rick had pulled over many drivers for weaving on the road to find out they were arguing with the passenger while driving.

They switched places and Rick pulled the car back out onto the road. He was glad to be going home. He felt exhausted even though the time away was relaxing. Talking to Carl had been an experience he's glad he went through.

"Your uncle Jeffrey introduced me to your mother. I could hardly speak around her. I would trip all over myself just trying to say hello."

"Was it because you fell in love with her?"

"Well, more like she was the most popular girl at school, and she barely looked in my direction before Jeff introduced us."

"How did he know her?"

"Jeff and her brother Carl were good friends."

"Am I named after him?"

"Yes you are."

It actually hurt Rick to remember members of his family that were still alive before the outbreak. He's sure they were all dead, and he couldn't even mourn their passing.

"So when did you and Mom start going out?"

"About a month after I met her. It took me that long to get up the courage to ask her out. I took her to the county fair."

Shane was there too, but he didn't want to bring him up at this point. If Carl asks, he will talk to him about Shane.

"How did it go?"

"It was a tragedy." Rick said laughing. "I spilled my soda on her blouse, I got cotton candy in her hair. It was a train wreck."

"So how did you two get together?"

"After I got cotton candy in her hair, she asked me to take her home. I felt awful and knew that was it for us, but when I got her home, she told me to wait and that she would be right back. When she came back, she had changed into jeans and a t-shirt, and her hair was in a ponytail."

They both laughed and he could tell Carl was genuinely happy. He had only been this happy before the outbreak.

"She got back into the car and said, 'this should be safe around you'." They laughed again.

"I miss her Dad. Not how she was after you were in the hospital, but before, when we were all together."

"I know son."

Rick wanted to say he missed the Lori he knew then too. Carl knew that his parents were not getting along before she died, but that was not for his son to hear about his mother, especially about her relationship with Shane.

"What went wrong was that she didn't approve of some of the decisions I had to make. She really missed how things used to be and was having trouble adjusting to how things are now."

"Dad, do you think it's a good thing she didn't make it? I do."

"I do too. That's called mercy."

The sun was just setting when they pulled up to the gate at Alexandria. Carl had been asleep for the last hour, and Rick was very proud of his son and the new relationship they were building. Sasha was up in the watch post, and had them open the gate when Rick gave her the hand signal.

He stopped and chatted for a brief moment to Aaron who opened the gate. Carl woke up while they drove in and up to their house.

Rick and Carl quietly stepped up on the porch and they could hear loud music playing in the house. They opened the door to Michonne and Judith dancing their hearts out in the living room. They stood there and watched for a moment really enjoying what they saw. Michonne picked Judith up still dancing and then she turned in the direction of where Rick and Carl stood.

Michonne gasped. "Judith look! Daddy and Carl!" Michonne put Judith on the floor because she wanted to put her arms around Rick. Carl went over and picked up Judith.

"Welcome back." She said kissing him.

"I made you a promise." He said kissing her back.

"Carl." She said going over to him and hugging him while Rick took Judith from Carl.

"Is everything alright?" Rick asked.

"Yes. No problems." She said smiling at her two men. "How was King County?"

"We didn't go into town. We went to my father's house."

She smiled really looking at the two of them, seeing the change in both of them. Tears welled in her eyes.

"Carl, what did you two do?" She asked not wanting to cry.

"We went fishing!"

"Fishing?" Michonne said looking at Rick.

"He actually caught more fish than I did." Rick said holdint Michonne's hand.

"Any problems?" Michonne said looking at Rick.

He shook his head.

"Nothing. Carl took down a couple of walker this morning, but it was nice and quiet."

"I wish you and Judith could have gone with us." Carl said.

"I'm glad it was just you and your dad. It looks like you two had a great time."

"We did! Dad taught me how to drive."

Michonne looked at Rick smiling.

"It was time. He's a natural. He drove halfway here."

"You didn't get stuck in the mud did you?"

"Like you did? No way." Carl said laughing.

"We found a box of pictures of my grandparents. Even pictures of Dad's brother and Dad when he was a teenager."

"I can't wait to see those." Michonne said laughing.

"Speaking of which, we better get that car unloaded and parked near the gate."

Carl got up and went out the door. Rick took the opportunity to give Michonne another hug and kiss.

"Things are good. He's not lost." Rick said kissing Michonne again before going out the door.

Carl was so tired he passed on dinner and went up to bed. Rick finished his dinner and went up to shower and then talk to Carl.

Carl was in bed reading a comic.

"I thought you'd be asleep."

"I can't believe I didn't take any comics with us."

"I can. You and I needed to focus on one another." Rick said sitting down on Carl's bed.

"I really had a good time Dad."

"So did I. We'll do it again soon."

"Okay."

"I don't want any more time to pass without us spending time together again, okay?"

Carl nodded.

"If it looks like I have other things on my mind that can wait, and it looks like I'm shutting you out, tell Michonne. Will you do that for me? For us?"

"I will Dad."

"I love you."

"I love you too Dad."

Rick stood up and kissed Carl's head and left his room.

When he walked down the hall, and heard Michonne reading Judith a story. He peeked into the room and stood at the door watching the two of them in the rocking chair together. He smiled and was grateful deep in his heart. Michonne looked up at him and pat his hand over his heart. She did the same.

He went to his shower and was in bed before Michonne got Judith to sleep. He had opened a book and was starting to read when Michonne finally came into the room. She closed the door behind her and looked at Rick.

"You shaved."

"I don't want to leave any beard burns on you." Rick said closing the book and putting it back down on the nightstand.

"Thank you." Michonne said smiling. "Did you and Carl talk much?"

"Oh yeah. He asked a lot of questions, and we got a lot of gray areas filled in. He's going to be a little cold, but he may need to be that way. I just want him to think before he reacts. I'm really glad I left those pictures behind when my father died. Those pictures opened up Carl better than I could just talking to him."

"Me too." She said pulling a picture out of her back pocket. It was Rick's high school graduation picture. She propped it against the lamp on her nightstand. "This is going to get framed, and how did you miss getting acne?"

"Probably because I had to start shaving when I was Carl's age."

They both laughed and she lay across the bed and kissed him.

"Thank you for suggesting the trip. I never would have thought of that without you."

"Carl's my son too, and whatever it takes to make him as whole as he can be, considering what he's had to grow up in, we should do it."

Rick nodded. He was so overwhelmed in this moment, he could barely say what he wanted to say.

"How sweet it is to be loved by you." He said smiling.

"Isn't that a song?" She said smiling back.

He nodded wrapping her in his arms. He looked deeply into her eyes, and quietly and softly started to sing the song.

'I needed the shelter of someone's arms, and there you were.

I needed someone to understand my ups and downs, and there you were.

With sweet love and devotion, deeply touching my emotion

I want to stop and thank you baby, I wanna stop, and thank you baby.

How sweet it is to be loved by you.

I close my eyes at night
Wondering where would I be without you in my life
Everything I did was just a bore
Everywhere I went it seems I'd been there before
But you brighten up for me all of my days
With a love so sweet in so many ways
I wanna stop.

He stopped singing and returned the smile he saw in her eyes.

"Thank you baby." He said claiming her mouth, and the rest of her, his.

****COMPLETE****