[inspired by mefelixsta]

I love my new job.

My first week was especially rough. My first teaching job, of course, had to be the gang version of the End Class. The room was in terrible condition, the students refused to listen to me and even threatened me, and the rest of school didn't necessarily care for the students' well-being.

Several months later, after many struggles and assassination attempts against me, I managed to teach them all they needed to know for their exams and earned their respect. Some students even gained a passion for learning and asked for help outside of the classroom. Especially Aito Mito.

Mito would stay after class every day for one-on-one tutoring. His determination caused a drastic increase in his grades, and seeing him work so hard because of my teachings couldn't have made me happier.

"Mr. Shiota! Could you help me with math today? I don't really understand this exponential thing…" Mito held his worksheet carefully between his index fingers and thumbs.

I looked up from the papers I was grading and greeted my student with a smile. "Of course! Even though I'm sure you'll do fine on the test."

Mito blushed and laughed, waving it off with humble embarrassment. He lingered by my desk a bit longer but never asked another question before returning to his desk.

"So, you see, the exponents are these tiny numbers to the top right of the bigger number. Now that means…" I pointed to the basic structure of the equation with the tip of my pencil, going into enough detail to get the point across but not too confusing. I occasionally scanned Mito's face to be sure he understood. Our eyes would lock from time to time and his face would change to look like a ripe tomato, sending him into a flustered state and speedy redirection of his gaze. I hoped my smile brought him assurance.

The tutoring session was nearly over, and Mito was working on a practice problem on his own. A familiar knocking pattern broke the working silence and brought a smile to my face. I turned to the door, happy to confirm my suspicions.

"Yo, Nagisa." Karma pushed the door open and leaned against the frame, twirling his keys on his index finger with a menacing smile on his face. "Thought we were gonna hang today. I even had a wicked surprise planned."

"I'm not so sure that's a surprise I want to be a part of," I sighed. Getting used to Karma's shenanigans was no easy task, even for as long as I'd known him. "Just hang on a minute. I gotta finish tutoring-"

"Who's that?" Mito interrupted with a scowl. His harsh tone momentarily caught me off guard; he acts like an angel around me, but I forgot about his trust issues. I brushed off the harsh remark and stood to introduce Karma. Hopefully, it would make him seem like less of a threat.

"Oh! I'm sorry for not introducing you," I gestured my hands towards Karma, smoothly ignoring his teasing glare. "This is Mr. Akabane. He's been a friend of mine since-"

"Yeah, well, I gotta go anyway." Mito huffed and roughly slung his deflated backpack over his shoulder. Karma and I watched him stomp away, showing no signs of stopping no matter how much I called.

"...I wonder what got to Mito…" I huffed disappointedly. "I wish I could have made that go a bit more smoothly."

"Nah, don't worry about it, Nagi'." Karma playfully hit my shoulder reassuringly, and I felt my worries melt away. "Let's go. There're some stupid plebeians I wanna fuck with."

"I'm glad you're using your political power for good." I knew from the beginning what a terrible idea it was for Karma to have a position of such unyielding power, but he was way too smart for anything less. "Whatever, let's go."

Karma led me to a very expensive looking convertible with a shiny red polish. Leather seats reflected the sun, easily accessible because the top was down. In place of fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror was a custom made decoration that made me instantly nostalgic: a pair of knives meant to assassinate Koro-sensei, the connecting string laced with anti-me BB pellets like a beaded necklace.

"Woah, this car is amazing," I closed in cautiously, almost afraid to break something just by existing near it. "Did you make that decoration?"

"Nah, Sugaya did." Karma unlocked the car and slid to the driver's side naturally. I, on the other hand, felt like sasquatch trying to fit into a ballroom event. "He made them for everyone kinda recently, but he couldn't get a hold of you. So he asked me to give you to yours."

I watched with anticipation as he reached into the back seat to grab a gift bag and hand it to me. I checked the inside and felt my heart warm at the sight of those familiar knives we had to wield nearly a decade ago.

"Thanks, Karma! This is amazing." I looked at his face and noticed his distracted look somewhere behind me. Before I could ask, he locked eyes with me and smiled. I lost all desire to investigate further.

"Now, for the plebeian fucking."

"I would feel more comfortable if you didn't say it like that."

Karma laughed and started up the car absentmindedly, effortlessly steering with one hand while the other lay on the back of my seat.

We chatted about recent business and laughed at each other's stupid jokes until we got to a small ice cream and smoothie shop across the street from the city's largest park.

"I didn't take you for a smoothie kind of guy, Karma," I teased him. "Smoothies aren't very manly or 'government official'."

"And here I thought we were friends," he shook his head disappointedly, but I could see the smirk he was trying to hide.

I reached to open the door, but Karma slapped my arm before I could even touch the handle. I rubbed my shoulder defensively and shot him the dirtiest glare I could muster.

"Hey, I'm the chauffeur. I just want to be a gentleman, so don't look at me like that." Despite his explanation-which I didn't believe, but I decided to humor him anyway-my glare pursued.

I watched him closely while he walked around the car and opened the passenger side door. The soft smile and "after you" arm extension created an uneasy setting in my stomach, but I accepted his act of kindness and stepped into the parking lot.

"You ever been here? I prefer their smoothies, but I think you'll like their frozen yogurt. You can decorate it however you want." Karma continued, listing every flavor he could remember, and he opened the shop door for me before I even raised my hand.

The inside had an entire wall dedicated to frozen yogurt flavors and their individual dispensers, leading to a counter loaded with dozens of different toppings and the cashier directly after. I looked over the menu at the smoothie options but decided on froyo instead.

"Wow, you're boring," Karma commented on my froyo creation. "There was blueberry, cheesecake, cookies and cream, birthday cake, and even churro french toast breakfast special. And you chose...vanilla."

"Look, if I wanted your critique, I would have asked for it." I was pretty offended. Vanilla tastes good, and it's very refreshing. Who is he to judge my froyo?

"It wasn't critique, it was me being a subjective shit."

Karma led me to the register with one of his arms ghosting my back. He ordered some fancy sounding smoothie that I planned on judging angrily, but it looked very delicious. It took me a while to notice his hand traveling down my back and resting at my waist. I looked up at him in question, but his head was turned to look at something behind us.

"Karma? What are you…?" My voice faded in the middle of the sentence. I tried to look at what had his attention, but a gentle squeeze on my waist brought my eyes back to him. His reassuring smile brought the uneasy feeling in my gut back, but I didn't question it.

Karma paid for both of us, despite my protests, and led us to the park down the street. The vast, grassy field was always populated with cheerful kids and adults enjoying the embracing sun. In other words, it was a perfect place for "people watching".

I followed Karma to a wooden bench shaded by a tall cherry blossom tree, and we took a seat. I waited with amused anticipation for what my best friend had in store for these innocent civilians, but I was rightfully taken back when he instead turned his attention towards me.

"So, how are you liking your teaching job?"

I wasn't expecting such an honest, considerate question and was instinctively on guard; Karma's tricks always had a reason.

"I love it," I answered truthfully. "The students kind of hated me at first, and I think some of them still do, but they listen to and respect me now."

"What about that kid you were tutoring?" Karma leaned back and crossed his legs casually, sipping on his smoothie.

"Huh? You mean Mito?" I idly twisted my spoon in my froyo, mixing in some nuts I sprinkled on top. "Yeah, he's a great student. He stays every day for extra tutoring, works really hard in class, and hasn't started a fight in months."

"I feel like that last part shouldn't classify as 'good student' quota. It's closer to 'tolerable student'."

"Well, all of my other students fight on the daily basis. If there's one student that doesn't punch a classmate within one hour, they are little saints." I sighed, recalling a day where a fight erupted between two students because they pronounced "caramel" differently. "Hell, you'd be the class pet."

Karma erupted into laughter, nearly shooting a string of smoothie out of his nose. I, understandably so, laughed at his embarrassed misery and received a punch in the arm.

"Does he always follow you around outside of school?"

I nodded and ate a small spoonful of yogurt. I wasn't surprised that Karma noticed. Mito was around seven meters away hiding behind a large tree. We didn't need to look for him to know he was there; our assassin training made up much more aware of our surroundings without thinking too much.

I explained that Mito had been following me around beyond school hours for a few months. Sometimes, once he found out where I lived, he would visit at late hours.

"I caught him sneaking into my house one night," I scraped the last bit of vanilla at the bottom of my cup and set the empty container next to me on the bench. "I was in my office, and I heard a sound in my bedroom. Turns out, he snuck in through the window and sifted through some of my stuff. I saw him just when he was leaving, and I found out he took some of my clothes."

"Woah, what'd you do? You call the cops?"

"No. It's not that big of a deal," I shrugged, watching the blossoms above me sway. "If I called the cops, it could ruin his life. That's the exact opposite of my job."

"Why do you think he does this?" Karma noisily sipped the remaining chunks of strawberry. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he already knew the answer, but he wanted me to get to there myself. He would do this whenever he tutored me back in junior high, especially with science. I always learned best that way in school, but it made me feel incredibly stupid as an adult.

"I think he just has a lot of problems," I crossed my arms defensively. "He may be experiencing some financial issues, and he needs some clothes. It's not a big deal, Karma. I can buy new clothes."

"That's not it, Nagi." Karma put his arm around me on the top of the bench. "I see you still haven't changed."

I raised one of my eyebrows and impatiently tapped my foot. "And that means…?"

"That kid likes you, Nagi. Dare I say: unhealthily, creepily, stalkerish, obsessed, madly in love with you."

I froze nervously and thought about the evidence directing Karma to that conclusion. There wasn't much for me to go off of; my knowledge in the field of love was very limited. He had to be kidding, right? There was no way one of my students could be in LOVE with me… As far as I know, no one has ever been in love with me.

"What makes you think that?" I suddenly felt very uncomfortable knowing I was the subject of someone's love gaze. I could feel Mito's eyes on me, and it sent chills down my spine.

"Well, the stalking and creepy stealing were a pretty big sign," Karma whispered very softly, and I could feel him closing in on me. "I had a feeling when he gave me the death glare in your classroom, so I decided to test my theory.

"I tried doing some mildly romantic things. You know, having my arm around you like this-" he dropped his arm to my waist and pulled me closer to him. I tensed up involuntarily, but Karma's gentle rubs on my hip helped me to relax. "-opening the doors for you, buying you ice cream, etcetera. With every passing action, I felt his bloodlust peak."

As an example, Karma leaned in closely to my ear to whisper very softly ("This is really weird, but I'm trying to look kinda sexy to him, so just bear with me"). I could feel the heat from his breathing and every puff of air from his consonants, making heat rush to my face. Embarrassment shot anxiety through my body, and the spring heat suddenly felt unbearable.

Just as he said, I could sense a huge spike in bloodlust where Mito was standing. But when it reached dangerous levels, I could feel him trying to conceal it. It was definitely forced and unprofessional, but he knew how to do it nonetheless.

"B-But...He…" I racked my brain for excuses; I wasn't used to this kind of attention, and it felt a little threatening. Regardless, I didn't want to put him in any situation that might have put him in danger of a successful life. As a teacher, that would be worse than killing him.

"Just trust me on this. You know me; I like tricks and messing with you, but I wouldn't lie about something as serious as this." Karma's serious tone and caring eyes forced me to believe him. He was right; he would never tease me with intent to seriously hurt me. It was still something I had to get used to.

"What do I do? I thought his stalking was a little dangerous, but I'm worried now that I know he likes me." I wrung my hands anxiously. My hands started turning red and agitated, but I only stopped when Karma's hands enveloped mine.

"I know this is going to me too much for you, but why not get a fake girlfriend? Knowing that you're taken should turn him off." Karma had backed off enough for me to finally be able to breathe. "I'm sure Kaede would love to help."

"No, Mito's in a gang. I don't want to put Kaede in danger…" I restlessly gnawed on my thumb nail. I thought I could see Karma roll his eyes, but I didn't care enough to call him on it. "Plus she's famous. I don't really want to be put in the spotlight for a fake relationship."

We sat in silence, trying to think of a foolproof plan. Time passed, and I realized Karma never moved his arm from my waist when his fingers tapped deliberately.

"I could do it."

"What?!" If my face were suddenly set aflame, I wouldn't have noticed. Everything raised at least ten degrees while I processed his suggestion. "You...want to be...my fake boyfriend?!"

"It's not really a matter of wanting to be your boyfriend, but more that I want to help you," Karma commented with his typical calculating tone like he had merely pitched an idea for a sales company. "This is a dangerous situation. You could easily defend yourself, but I know you won't do anything to one of your students."

I nodded in understanding, avoiding eye contact for the safety of my health. I could tell this situation may kill me through shenanigans or embarrassment, but he was right. I had no choice.

"Besides, after today," Karma pulled me to fit into his side, his other arm scooping under my legs to put me on his lap. Before I could protest, he nuzzled his way into my neck and gently rolled the skin just beneath my ear between his teeth. "He probably thinks we're already dating. I think I could do a pretty good job taking care of you, sweetie.~"

All the air in my lungs bailed, and I knew my face could blend in with Karma's hair. Since my voice failed me, my thoughts were like a broken record practically screaming at me: "This is a terrible idea! This is a terrible idea! This is a terrible idea!"

I never said anything.