'This is a mistake; this is a mistake… this is a mistake!' the words swirled around Ana's head as she packed the last of her outfits for the Weekend, Christian had arrived home earlier that morning and announced that they would be leaving in 2 hours; his only instruction that she should pack warm clothes, walking boots and a couple of evening dresses.

"Evening dresses!" she whispered under her breath…. "what the hell is an evening dress?!"

Frustration taking charge Ana grabbed 5 dresses from the brimming closet, throwing them into a suit bag as she stole a quick glance in the dresser mirror, her hair fell into soft curls against her shoulder, she'd dressed in light blue jeans and a grey sweatshirt, opting for comfort… she was still unaware of where they were going, or how they were getting there.

"You have to tell him about Mia! This is the perfect chance, Anastasia Steele! You have got to tell him this weekend!"

Grimacing she shook her head at the reflection staring back at her "you've officially lost it! You're talking to yourself in a mirror! You're actually having a conversation with yourself in a mirror!... pull it together Steele!"

A light tap on the door interrupted her moment of madness "Are you ready, Anastasia?"

She grabbed the holdall, throwing it over her shoulder as she struggled with the suit bag… taking one last look around the bedroom before opening the door… if her revelation resulted in the way she feared it might she may never see the room that she had grown to love again.

Christian watched Ana with delight, her reaction to their journey had been that of wonder, surprise and gratitude, eyes wide and drinking in every passing scene.

He smiled warmly as they approached the large wooden cabin, poised proudly at the edge of the Loch, smoke emitting from the chimney "Christian! Does this belong to you?" she questioned with amazement.

He nodded to Taylor as he reversed the car up, moving it to the cottage down the lane.

Christian smiled warmly "it is"

Looking around in awe her beaming smile telling him everything he needed to know.

"Shall we?" he questioned, taking her hand and guiding her inside; the large hall welcomed them with it's wooden, exposed beams and tiled floor, Christian allowed Ana to proceed ahead, observing her as she explored further.

Running her hand along the plush cream sofa, the warmth from the large log fire welcoming her, a large open plan kitchen lay ahead, followed by 4 steps leading to a secondary level… stealing a glance back at Christian she ventured further.

Slipping off her shoes Ana took pleasure in the deep pile of carpet beneath her feet, a light flush spreading across her face as her eyes travelled over the King size bed, a modern en-suite bathroom adjoining, the large glass shower tempting her instantly.

Her body responding suddenly to his touch, pleasure pulsing through her as Christian placed his hands against her waist "so tell me, do you approve, Anastasia?" she felt his lips brush against her ear with each word.

Closing her eyes briefly Ana captured the memory of that exact moment, she knew that she would always remember this as the one time in her life when she felt complete.

Christian had ensured they had enough logs to last them all evening, the cupboards and fridge had been freshly stocked in preparation of their arrival and Christian had insisted on seeing to dinner whilst she took a shower.

Sweeping her hair into a messy bun Ana felt a unfamiliar comfort in non existent make up, sweat pants and a hooded sweatshirt… Pearce never would have appreciated her lack of effort… her mind was instantly transported back to the past, a vivid memory of the fresh faced and bubbly blonde, her eagerness to join the 'Team' at the club; Pearce had been all over her, which was completely typical of him when there was a 'new girl' he flattered her with meaningless compliments, telling her exactly what she needed to hear… he was an expert at that.

Ana tried to take her under wing, she had tried to warn her of exactly what she was letting herself in for, it had been too late for Ana but she felt obliged to help the blonde, she felt drawn to her.

"Dinner is served, Anastasia…"

Christian's voice broke through the journey into the past and she took solace in the realisation that he was with her, he was her safety net.

Ana beamed at the display before her, a large blanket spread out, an array of cheeses, biscuits and pickles on offer, a bottle of red wine open and two glasses already full, the only light being offered from the roaring fire and a scattering of candles.

Christian stood, eyes twinkling with pride as she met his gaze.

"Christian! It's perfect!"

The corner of his mouth lifted as he held out his hand to her "take a seat, Madam" she felt that familiar current of desire ripple through her as she clasped her hand in his and allowed him to guide her onto the blanket.

They talked non stop, mostly about Christian's business, Ana found herself drinking in his every word, he was the most interesting person she had ever met.

Raising his knee Christian rested his arm against it, his stare intense and fixed on her.

"Tell me more about yourself, Anastasia"

"There's not really much to tell, Christian… I left school with little to boast about, I fell in with the wrong crowd when my Grandmother died, met the wrong people, worked in the wrong places… found myself in England and now here I am… with you…"

The spotlight shone bright, blinding her and she desperately sought her way out of the conversation; the burning truth of what she knew was eating away at her.

"Tell me about your Grandmother, what was she like?"

Ana smiled fondly at the mention of her, asides the past few weeks spent with Christian, the time she had with her Grandmother offered the only security and happiness she had known.

"She was funny, sharp as a pin, she didn't suffer fools gladly… she was my world"

The threat of tears was very real and Ana took a large gulp of wine in an attempt to push them back.

"How did she die?" Christian's spoke with a softness he seemed to only save for her.

"It was the big C" Ana responded without looking up, her attention instead focused on the glass in her hand.

Moving closer Christian took the glass from her grip, setting it aside as he knelt in front of her, his hand lifting to the side of her face, his thumb brushing against her cheek.

Ana breathed in the delicious scent of him, her eyes gently closed as she took pleasure in his closeness.

"She raised a passionate, kind and intelligent woman, Ana… she raised a survivor"

His words churning up that feeling of intense guilt inside her "Christian… don't…."

"ssshhh, Ana you are the most brilliant person I've ever met! You bring out feelings I wasn't aware I had… you make me want to be a better person… you are truly remarkable"

She couldn't bare it anymore, the truth burned in the pit of her stomach, she had to tell him, she had to forget about her own fears, the fear of loosing him to the secret she had buried so deep.

Placing her hands on top of his Ana held on tight, perhaps he'd understand, maybe he'd forgive her.

Forcing herself to look him in the eye she somehow found the words.

"I knew Mia, Christian…"

Confusion set firmly across his face, his brows knitted in a frown.

"No, I'm… sorry, Ana but I'm confused! You can't have known Mia! Why... why would… I don't get it!? Why would you say that?"

He'd instinctively moved away, his eyes searching for an explanation, searching for something that made sense.

"I'm sorry, Christian! I'm so sorry... I should have told you sooner, I was so scared, I didn't know how you would react, I was scared you would hate me, I know how deeply the loss of her has affected you and I just, well I just thought…"

Holding up his hand he silenced her, she noticed his jaw clench, his chest rising and falling that bit more; his hand frantically rubbed against the back of his neck.

"I don't know what you hoped to achieve by feeding me this bullshit, Ana… but it's not having whatever desired effect you clearly thought it might! There is no way you could have known Mia, she's been gone 5 Years, Ana! I've barely known you a Month! Why the hell are you doing this to me?"

She winced at the obvious pain in his eyes, standing suddenly he paced back and forth, an overwhelming darkness hanging over him.

"The club that Mia worked at… Christian I worked at the same club! I remember her starting, I remember her laugh, I remember her ability to light up a room, I remember her eyes… the same eyes I look into when I'm with you!"

Dropping to his knees once more, the confusion now replaced with hope, curling his hands around her arms he spoke with determination "You knew, Mia! You know where she is! What happened to her! You've got to tell me, Ana… It's killed me every day, it's destroyed my family! Ana you can fix me… tell me where she is! TELL ME!"

Biting back against the pain as Christians grip tightened, his fingers sinking into her flesh, his mood became frantic and unpredictable.

"Christian, please… you're, you're hurting me!"

He eased his hold on her, regret evident in his attempt to relax his body "do you know where my Sister is, Ana? What happened to her, if you're afraid don't be… I won't let anything happen to you!"

She wanted to give him the answers he so desperately needed, but she couldn't, the one chance she had to be a good person was fading away and there was nothing she could do about it.

"I don't know where she is, Christian! I don't know what happened to her… she was just gone, I tried to find out where she was, Christian… you have to believe me! I tried so hard to take care of her, to protect her…"

"Protect her? Protect her from what, Ana?"

"I tried to protect her from him… from Pearce!"