Welcome to "A single touch" 3 C:
First off I will put a warning for the first chapter C: and probably some parts of future chapters-
WARNING: This story is dealing with rape, and as I tend to describe things pretty graphic no matter the topic, it might make some readers feel uncomfortable or even bad, so I will leave it to you to judge if you really want to read it.
Now, now, everyone who has been waiting for it and wants to read: Welcome to the first chapter xDD
First off, it is NOT Shizuo who rapes Izaya - One reader asked me whether or not it would be him or strangers, and really, Shizu-chan would never do that in my opinion. C: He flips out in anger sure, but he would never hurt anyone that way. xc
Well then, I guess there isn´t much left to say xD
Thank you very much for correcting this SoylentRamen! *0*
Well I guess that´s all I wanted to say-
Enjoy~! cx
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ஜ Chapter 1: Why? ஜ
-Izaya´s point of view-
It was so dark.
So cold.
Quiet.
Hard, wet concrete pressed against his cold face. The shoe was long gone but he could still feel it press down on his face as if it were there, dampening, dirtying his cheek. Eyes were staring at him. Hands all over him.
Everywhere.
He wanted to scream. He wanted to deny this happened.
Panic had filled his senses when he got grabbed from behind- unknown hands on him.
He could still feel his body rocking from disgusting movements- even though right now, no one was setting it into motion.
Wetness stuck to his body. It wasn´t raining. He wanted to puke but there was nothing inside his stomach anymore.
Only retching noises.
Nausea.
He wanted to scream.
His lips were trembling- his whole body was.
It was so cold.
He could still hear the words, repeating endlessly. Tears filled his eyes once more.
"You fucked with the wrong people, Orihaha, now you are the one who is going to be fucked."
They wouldn´t stop. They just wouldn´t stop repeating.
He begged them, he screamed, he offered them everything he had.
He could remember being held down, rendered motionless-
He could remember the fear.
He could still hear his own screams. His cries for help, his pleas to stop, but they fell on deaf ears.
He wanted to scream. Ask them to take back what they did. Ask them to forgive him, revert time to when he made them angry.
But they didn´t.
They didn´t.
Now no one was there.
Not anymore.
It hurt-
He wanted to scream.
Tears were tainting his face, even though he wasn´t crying anymore. He had used the tears up.
It still hurt so much.
Now his body felt numb, his eyes were dull, his expression stoic.
He wanted to scream. But he couldn´t anymore.
It was dark in that alley. His eyes were opened to no more than a slit, barely catching any light from the moon. It was quiet.
So quiet now.
The voices and grunts had disappeared.
No one was there anymore. It was an ordinary alley- the one he always was in when he wanted to annoy Shizu-chan one more time when he got home from work. One more night chase, you could say.
The lamp in front of Shizu-chan´s apartment was broken- always had been, shrouding the alley in darkness as black as pitch. An easy spot to hide in.
He had been waiting.
Again.
He wished he hadn´t.
He wanted to delete what happened. It wasn´t true.
It didn´t happen.
...
He should move. Should try to get away. Get help.
...help...
Who was going to help him? There was no one. No one had been there before, either, so why would there be someone now?
He closed his eyes softly.
It was so cold...
It hurt.
Everywhere.
His senses were heightened, and he felt every inch of his body, cold, bare to the air, freezing - goose bumps were all over his body.
...
How long had he been laying there...? He couldn´t tell. It may have been hours, maybe just minutes; he couldn´t tell the difference. Everything was just a daze to Izaya.
After the third, he had passed out.
He didn´t know what happened then. He didn´t know when they left. He just remembered that when he woke up, it was over.
They were gone.
Curled up on the cold ground, he couldn´t get himself to move.
He was freezing. He wanted to grab his coat. Loosely it was connected to his right arm, the only thing left on his body.
He wanted it, if only to get some warmth, familiarity, comfort, but his arm didn´t listen. It wouldn´t lift. It was too heavy, too exhausting to even think about moving it.
He sent a glance towards it, thinking it might be stuck somewhere, but no. He just didn´t have the strength to move it.
For a few seconds, he could do nothing but stare at it.
Dirtied.
Bloody.
The hand was bruised. Laying there, limp.
He wanted to throw it away.
Again, nausea welled up as he thought about why that blood was there, where else that blood was- but there was nothing left to throw up.
...
Was he going to die?
He couldn´t help but think about it as he lay there. All his life long, he had been scared of death, of what would come afterwards.
But right now, being completely honest, he hoped there was just nothing. He hoped he just ceased existing, not knowing of his own self anymore.
A pool of blood was slowly but surely collecting on the concrete.
He was going to die.
And the worst of it was- he didn´t even mind. He would stop existing, stop thinking.
He didn´t mind.
They did what they wanted, and now-
He was going to die.
Get out of this body.
It sounded good.
No.
Tears collected in his eyes and he glanced across the street.
He didn't want to die like this.
Softly they trickled down his cheeks again.
He didn´t want that.
Not like this.
Not here.
Not because of them.
His fingertips were so cold, freezing- he couldn´t grasp the ground. He could barely move them at all. His arms, legs, head- everything was just numb. He felt like someone had used a strong tranquilizer on him.
Softly, slowly, he didn´t know how long it took, but he lifted his hand off the ground.
Moving it forward, a few centimeters, his fingertips curled as he set the hand down on the ground, pushing, trying to pick himself up from the concrete.
His body trembled, his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to lift himself.
Head hanging low, he pushed his body up, the coat shifting softly over his shivering frame, as if to support him.
Just when his other hand had slipped forward to help getting up, he didn't know; he was just glad when he noticed it was there.
It was only when he paused in his movement that he realized there were shards of glass beneath his palm, cutting into his skin as he tried to get up. He couldn´t feel it.
Gathering all his strength left, he pushed himself up into an upright sitting position- With a soft thud, his head leaned against the wall of a house. His eyes were still stuck on the end of that alley.
He didn´t dare look anywhere else.
Not into the alley, not at himself.
He feared if he looked down, he might just start stabbing this disgusting thing he had become.
There was no knife in his reach, but the sole feeling of that need was something he didn't want to experience.
Fatigue was making itself noticeable, but he couldn´t give up. Not here.
Skin scraped along the rough concrete as he tried to get to his feet. Holding onto the wall for dear life he tried to stay upright, but his legs buckled beneath him as exhaustion was taking the upper hand after all- making him slide down the wall.
His legs weren´t able to carry his weight anymore.
He couldn´t refrain from glancing at them in time.
Bruised, oddly bent, blood and another liquid he didn´t want to recognize trailed down his thighs- they were nothing more than a pair of useless sticks. Tearing his stare away, he tried to hold down the wave of nausea.
Quick breaths left his trembling lips.
He wanted to scream, but he couldn´t.
Desperation was filling his senses as he glanced to the other side of the street. He didn´t want to think. He didn´t want to know.
He could see the house from there. His destination.
The brute´s apartment.
Shizu-chan.
Shizu-chan would do it.
If anyone was going to end his life, then it was him.
Not those guys, no. Him.
He would do it.
Just Shizu-chan. He would just end their fight like nothing happened.
Izaya always had planned it like that. He knew he would be his end one day.
Everything would revert to normal that way.
Nothing happened.
He could ignore it.
No one would know.
Nothing happened.
Knees scraping along the concrete, he pushed himself off the ground once more. The useless sticks were shaking, trembling; more than once, he felt himself almost fall as he held onto the wall for dear life.
But only one thought was revolving in his head.
Not here.
Not because of them.
He could ignore it.
Shizu-chan.
It made no sense; after all, once he was gone, it wouldn´t matter who did it, who did what, but right now, he just felt this urge to go over there.
Shizu-chan would be home.
He held onto the image of the angry beast.
He wanted to scream, yell the brute´s name, make him come out of his apartment already, but his throat was hoarse, his voice almost gone.
He had been yelling for so long.
One wobbly step- two followed. He had to let go of the wall in order to get across the street.
A few steps were done, approaching the sweet door.
He wanted to do nothing more than get over there, and yet his legs betrayed him. He felt his balance shift, knowing he would fall, and took one last step- his legs giving in and sending him to the cold ground once more.
Familiar hardness greeted his face when his forehead connected with the ground, but he was almost there.
Almost there.
He couldn´t give up now.
He had a feeling his consciousness kept fading in and out, because when he lifted his head once more, he was already at the doorstep. The door was open, but no one was there. He didn´t remember how he got there, nor how he opened the door.
It was dark inside.
Shizu-chan... was not at home?
A tear trailed down his cheek, but he didn't mind. He would come.
For sure.
He just had to wait.
Just wait.
Soft sounds, almost sounding like whimpers, caught his ears. It took a minute until he realized it was he himself who made them.
The door was closed, and the raven made his way towards the couch, half crawling, half trying to walk.
He would wait for him. Shizu-chan never stayed out.
He would come home soon.
Shizu-chan would.
For sure.
Warmth, and softness wrapped around him as he pulled himself onto the brute´s couch. His eyes fell shut as he slumped into the cushions.
It was so dark in the brute´s apartment. Izaya hadn´t had the strength to possibly get up and flip the light switch.
His eyes fluttered open once more. Being used to the darkness he could still make out the mess he made.
Blood, dirt- he had basically dragged a track of it towards this very couch.
And even though this situation was nothing to laugh over, or be amused by, Izaya couldn´t help but smile softly as he imagined a certain brute coming home.
... this ... would piss him off wouldn´t it? He got everything dirty.
Smeared his couch with crimson, spread his "flea" stench in here- he would hate it. With his very last actions he would piss the blond off.
As usual.
Barely keeping his eyes open anymore, he glanced at the clock.
It´s late..
He should come soon…
Soon.
Everything was dark, and warm.
Dark like in the alley, but warm. Shadows were lurking, and he couldn´t help but feel his hair stand on end, even though nothing was there.
Nothing was there. But that nothing was staring at him.
Not yet.
Not yet, please.
...
What if he came home too late?
He would die alone here.
Because of what those guys did.
And then they were there, the tears.
He didn´t want that.
No.
He didn´t want any of that.
He didn´t want it.
He felt like screaming, but his sobs chained him to silence.
His body was hurting and numb in places he didn´t want to think about.
He didn´t want to think at all.
He wanted this to be over. Not happening.
Wake up.
From a nightmare.
Shizu-chan.
Hurry up, you stupid protozoan.
Shizu-chan.
Sobbing.
Help.
Shizu-chan.
-Shizuo´s point of view.-
Growling, the blond made his way home. It was pretty late by now, later than usual, for sure. And why was he coming home so late? Well, of course it was one of those guys' fault!
Not only did that guy run away after saying that he couldn´t pay back yet, no, he did something even worse!
The second he stormed out of the apartment, he grabbed the bag Tom had been carrying and took it with him.
The bad thing about this whole scene was that inside that bag was the money from all those who had actually paid that day.
And to top that whole thing off, he hadn´t even managed to catch that stupid guy in time! It seriously pissed him off, but he lost him after some street gang suddenly approached him for a fight. Fucking retards.
When he was done beating the shit out of them, the guy was already gone.
Tom said it was no problem, and that things like that could happen, but it really irked the blond a great fucking deal. He had been strolling through Ikebukuro, trying to find the man.
Without any result, though.
And this was exactly why he was so annoyed now.
No, pissed off.
With a cancer stick between his lips and a dark frown on his face, he made his way to his apartment.
It´s not that he had given up. But now at night, that guy could be hiding anywhere... he should probably leave it to Tom-san to actually find the guy. He was more skilled in that department than Shizuo.
The sudden motion of someone bumping into his shoulder making his cigarete almost drop to the floor wasn´t exactly bettering his mood.
"You-!" but the poor guy seemed ot have realized what he had just done as he scurried away quick enough.
"Sorry, my bad," he said and disappeared.
Amost seemed as if he weren´t actually regretting his little slip up though.
Anyway, the more important thing right now was to find out just how the fuck he could get Tom´s money back- preferably all of it and not just a tiny amount that the thief decided to not spend yet.
Taking another drag of his cigarette, he turned into his street.
A weird smell filled his nostrils making him pause within his thoughts.
He stopped, knowing the stench far too well- a frown appeared on his face and a vein popped on his forehead- Well, fucking great.
That fucking flea couldn´t have chosen a better day to piss him off.
His head snapped around, searching for that stupid smirk waiting for him somewhere, but strange enough, the flea wasn´t to be found anywhere.
The frown on Shizuo´s face lessened a bit. The smell was a bit odd, as well. Not the usual flea kind of smell.
It was only then that he noticed a trail on the street.
Something brown liquid looking was drawing a line from the alley opposite his apartment to- his door?
The blond frowned deeper, throwing the cigarette away as he shoved his hands inside his pockets and made his way over.
That familiar smell, other than the flea stench, he knew it all too well. Blood.
He swore if that fucking flea had dragged some kind of dead animal inside his apartment to piss him off, then he would fucking murder him-
Heavy stomps stopped in front of the door, he didn´t even bother to get his keys- if the flea had been in there, there was no way he would have locked it again- and slammed the door open.
Darkness enveloped him, and for a second, Shizuo made something out on his couch. Something huge- the trail was leading exactly there, and with a disgusted expression Shizuo flicked on the light- expecting to see a dead animal there.
However, when he glanced at the couch once more- his jaw simply dropped.
The frown disappeared, eyes widened- if he were still smoking the cigarette, it would have fallen from his lips.
Izaya.
The trail of blood was leading to his couch. And on top of that couch... was the flea.
Only wearing that coat he always saw- beneath it, a naked Izaya.
Bruises were scattered everywhere over his body, purplish, black - blood, so much blood oozed from several cuts-
The couch itself was almost drenched in red. He wasn´t even exactly laying on that couch- more like he just gave up and dropped there.
For a second, Shizuo thought he was dead- but then his eyes opened slowly, revealing that crimson stare as he looked right at him.
And suddenly, those way too pale lips almost smiled as they spotted him.
"Shizu-chan..." He sounded so tired, just done. Two more words left his lips, finally making the blond unfreeze.
"Kill me."
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End of chapter 1 :C
Yes, yes, this was a very mean chapter, but rest assured C: Next chapter will be way sweeter, after all, this is about Shizaya and Shizuo caring for the flea C:
Now, now, on a little side note for those who are waiting for "I want to stay with you forever" chapter 38- it will be coming out in August on Sunday the 14th ;A; I´m so sorry, but I´m kinda gone now for 10 days- in which I hope I can update next week's three chapters- and I already know I won´t have time to write the final chapter xc
Now back to this chapter~ I hope it wasn´t too hard to read xD but hey, as said next chapter is gonna be sweet C:
See you on Sunday the 14th~! *0*
PS.: thumbs up for everyone who wants to kill the bastards doing this to Izaya xD