This story takes place in canon with this chapter covering about four weeks after The Case of Ritsu: 15 and the first part of Chapter 16. I admit that these first few chapters skip around a lot so be wary of time skips and scene changes. I'm mostly skipping the parts the manga has already covered because I can get flagged if the story has parts too similar to the original piece.

This is also my first time writing anything regarding SiH or JR, so wish me luck.

*I do not claim to be a doctor; most sources are found on the internet if not my own knowledge. Most of the procedures found in this story are not likely to follow the normal code of conduct. You are more than welcome to kindly alert me if I get something wrong or if you have a better, more reliable site that I can refer to. All referred sites are linked on my tumblr (Shaymunie/requires password). This will last until I'm sure external links work on FFN profiles again.

"Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid."
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky

4 Weeks

Ritsu didn't want to get up.

He knew where he was; in the genkan of his apartment. Or rather, he was lying on the floor of the genkan in his apartment.

It was his day off at last and he showed his appreciation of that fact by passing out in the entryway. It had seemed like such a good idea the evening before. Now, as he lay on the ground, trying to sit up through a headache and nausea (without much success), he has come to realize that it was a terrible idea.

His stomach grumbled as he shifted slightly on his left side; as comfortable as it had been to lie on his side when he had passed out, it certainly wasn't now. A part of him was annoyed that he wasn't even surprised to wake up on his side on the wooden floor anymore. Another part was resigned to it as if it was as normal to constantly deal with it as much as the fact that the sky is blue. The life as a manga editor was certainly a crazy one.

"Nghhh…" He groaned loudly to himself as his stomach somersaulted again for the sixth time since he woke up. Ritsu weakly rubbed his stomach with his right hand, hoping that the small massage would appease it long enough for him to get up and pull himself into his bed. He had no clue why, but for the last two days, he has been suffering from really bad stomach cramps and occasionally, waking up needing to vomit. It was strange and quite sudden. Ritsu couldn't recall himself being around anyone sick in the last few days.

What was stranger was that he would just randomly have these symptoms clear up if not lessen just in time for him to go to work as well as a good portion of the duration of his shift. But sometimes, he'd feel nausea come over him during work which brought all sorts of problems.

Takano has been watching him like a hawk after he had taken fifteen minutes in the bathroom waiting for his stomach to settle after throwing up that morning's two nutrient bars (it probably didn't help that the man was still spiteful over seeing Haitani's number in his phone). Evading that invasive man's questions has been a hassle because they made himself inquire far too deeply about his own health than he liked. It also would've meant that he'd need to greatly reevaluate just about everything about himself and his choices.

However, after getting that call from his mother, he'd rather save that for a time he could actually handle it without having a mental breakdown.

Luckily, he had been able to complete his work well enough so the man couldn't invade further under the guise of being the 'concerned boss' or else he'd risk their co-workers' suspicion. Ritsu snorted at the thought, but soon regretted it when his head reminded him of its ache. His left hand found itself petting his head in a way that was more jarring rather than the hoped for soothing. Scowling at how his headache didn't seem to be going away, he gave up and tried to think through the clouding pain that continued to swirled throughout his head.

However, that didn't stop the man from inquiring about his health in their off time. While he had thankfully been able to avoid the man's advances that went any further than a few stolen kisses, he was becoming more and more sluggish about it. Fatigue has also been a constant, but that couldn't right. It was only two weeks into the cycle and he rarely ever got this sick. He should still be relatively fine. Should being the keyword.

He moaned lowly as there was another pang of hurt in his stomach. There was no doubt that Ritsu wanted to spend the entire day trying to ignore the pain in his stomach by sleeping it away. Now he just had to get up and – a striking pain in his belly from trying to prop himself on his left arm was all he needed to know that his efforts were in vain. "Aauuughh…"

He took a few deep breaths, whispering encouragements to himself. "C'mon Ritsu, you just gotta get up and then you can go to bed. Get up, get up, get up!"

Giving a dreamy sigh at the pleasant thought of actually sleeping in his bed, Ritsu slowly pulled himself into a sitting position. A low, pained hiss from his mouth accompanied the movement. Once upright, Ritsu tried to take in deep breaths to calm himself before getting up to head to bed.

However, it would seem that he had been too fast for a sudden wave of dizziness and nausea washed over him, causing a gasp to escape his lips and a hand to fly to his stomach. Ritsu mentally cursed himself as he felt his mouth fill with saliva, a tell-tale warning that he's unfortunately become familiar with the last few days. He knew he should've been slower!

Ritsu stumbled to get to his feet as fast and to the bathroom as possible. He frantically tried to tip toe pass the multiple books, papers, and half-eaten convenience store bento boxes that covered his floor. The editor gave an inward sigh of relief when he made it past the bathroom door and nearly collapsed onto his knees just as he started to throw up the contents of his lunch the day before into the toilet bowl.

Several minutes later, he was able to pull his head away from the toilet, tears pricking his eyes. His pallid fingers practically clawed at the porcelain for support just in case he needed to retch again. While his stomach was still screaming with pain, he felt significantly less queasy. Now, he just felt tired. Tired and undeniably sore inside and out. Ritsu didn't even notice the two tears stream down the sides of his face as he pulled down the lever for he couldn't bring himself to care.

He didn't dare to breathe through his nose until after the polluted contents of his toilet was replaced with fresh new water. Even then, Ritsu worried that just the scent of the bathroom would unsettle his stomach. Carefully, he hoisted himself up by grabbing the corner of his sink counter, making sure to stop when it felt like he would need to return to the toilet. Thankfully, he managed to stand up albeit with a throbbing head and belly.

Ritsu staggered out of his bathroom and nearly collapsed onto his bed. He didn't even bother to pull up the sheets or change clothing; he didn't think he had the energy. A near silent sigh in relief was given at the thankful thought that he had managed to keep his dirty clothes off of it this time. Of course, they had to go somewhere else which meant that his couch will not be available until he cleaned his apartment. It worried him that he didn't know exactly when that might be. It was just that between his busy schedule, his lack of energy when he does make it home, and how most of his extra time was being devoted to his self-stu-

Ritsu's emerald eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly in bed. His stomach protested at the movement and he was reminded just why he needs to be careful with how he gets up. Regardless, that didn't change the fact he had almost forgotten!

He still had those pages he had copied of the editor's manual he had to read. Just thinking about it made him feel fired up; he could even ignore his hurting stomach and head. The editor pulled out his phone to check the time; 8:23 in the morning.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Ritsu looked between the stacks of books on the floor that he had promised himself he'd get through before next week and his comfortable bed that promised him non-Takano filled dreams. Even though he knew his newfound energy was temporary, he couldn't bring himself to lie back down. If he let himself slip just a little, then he would prove those jerks at his old job right. He refused to get lazy and lose sight of his path to becoming a great editor and –

"You're doing your work just fine… You should just stay the way you are now. And don't make me repeat myself… idiot." *

Ritsu narrowed his eyes as he gingerly swung his legs over the side of his bed and sat down in one of the clean circles on the floor where he would study. Even though he was still incredibly tired, thoughts of sleep slipped further from his mind as he was surrounded by the site of books.

Instead, images of Takano from that night appeared. Ritsu could remember in vivid detail of that moment; it was almost like he was suddenly back in the memory rather than simply reliving it. His normally commanding and booming tone of voice reduced down to deliver the slightly stern, yet soft admonishing endearment. The messy black hair that fluttered in the wind to frame Takano's handsome face. Those sharp eyes keeping him locked in a cool stare. And most of all – those words. As much as they became backhanded towards the end, there was no doubt in Takano's intentions to encourage him – to cheer Ritsu up.

And perhaps that was what made the entire moment even more pronoun.

Suddenly realizing his train of thought and how red-faced he had gotten, he forced himself to focus on the words of the book he just opened.

- and he will catch up to Takano.

Two Weeks Later

"Before I realized it… I was chasing after him." **

He really wanted to deny it; the very idea of having a cold must be a trick of mind when under stress! Yes, yes! That's it! It was just the stress of the company's moving day overlapping Emerald's last day of proofreading that was making his head dizzy and stomach caught in a fuss.

"Aachoo!" Ritsu sneezed violently into the crook of his arm. Next to him, Kisa jumped in his chair. He had been surprised by the sneeze as a majority of his attention was on finishing a check on the manuscript laid in front of him. They were currently the only ones still present in their department. Hatori had gone with Takano to retrieve some copies while Mino was waiting downstairs for a manuscript. They had been tasked with finishing checking over the already turned in manuscripts while the others were gone.

"Jeez, Ricchan! You okay? You've been sneezing and coughing a lot lately." The older man gave him a scrutinizing look that had a mixture with pity. While he considered the man the closest thing to a friend in this department, the chestnut haired man couldn't bring himself to admit it to him, let alone to himself, that he might be sick. So, Ritsu waved him off, albeit a little awkwardly with his other hand reached for the tissues on his desk. He wiped his face off. Once he threw the tissue away, he looked down at his desk and inwardly thanked whoever above that he managed to sneeze away from the manuscript in front of him. There was no way his nerves would be able to handle that disaster when they were already so frazzled.

"Ricchan?" Suddenly remembering his co-worker, the emerald eyed editor gave a small smile meant to soothe worries.

"Yes? I'm fine," The ebony-haired man raised a disbelieving eyebrow. This caused Ritsu to say it again with a little more force. "I'm fine, seriously. Don't worry about it."

Kisa looked like he wanted to protest, but Hatori and Takano came back with Takano telling them to get back to work so that they could meet their deadline. With no other choice unless he wanted to get a magazine thrown at him from their highly irate boss, Kisa just gave him a look that said he was watching him and went back to checking over Saitou-sensei's manuscript.

Noticing the look and what it possibly entailed, Ritsu sighed in his head. Great. Another person who watched him like a vulture flying over a zebra lost in a desert. His eyes flicked to his boss when he thought that. The head editor-in-chief was currently busy looking over the returned Mino's successfully retrieved manuscript, allowing Ritsu a moment's time to stare at the man.

This man was his ex-boyfriend from ten years ago after confessing abruptly and then breaking up just as abruptly about a month later at the tender age of 15. At the time, he was far more docile and naïve to the ideas and emotion known as love. This caused just about everything the other, known at the time as Masamune Saga, did or say to him make him flush red and stutter needlessly through the simplest of sentences. Ritsu had even lost his virginity to this man, giving it to the man the first time he had come to Saga's house.

But really, with the circumstances of how they got together the chestnut haired man couldn't really deny that their relationship didn't have a strong foundation. After all, it had started with Ritsu practically stalking Saga through reading the same books as him for three years until he suddenly confessed when their hands had touched. During the month they had been together, while they did talk a little and even had sex several times, they knew next to nothing about each other. It was all too easy for a chuckle at the question of whether or not Saga had loved him to destroy not only their relationship and warp his personality to the point of pessimism, but also cause him to flee the country out of shock and hurt.

However, through fate's sick sense of humor, they had, for lack of a better word, "found" each other.

Of course, he had been put in the shoujou department rather than the literature department which he had applied for.

Of course, Saga, now Takano, was the department head.

And of fucking course the man seemed to have no qualms about trying to pick up where they left off and do all in his power to get Ritsu to confess his love for him again.

Just the thought of that pompous declaration the man had made almost six months ago made his heart pang because despite all of his attempts to keep it from happening – he was in love with Takano all over again. Or maybe, as An had suspected, Ritsu had never truly stopped loving him.

However, admitting it to himself was difficult enough. Trying to put those feelings into words or action in front of or away from the man was damn near impossible; he wasn't the naïve and cheerful teenager anymore, but rather a jaded adult that reality had struck very hard with its unflinching hand. He had a hard time just figuring out why anyone would want to be in a relationship with him let alone love him. The answer eluded him even now.

Yet here was Takano saying that he had never stopped loving him… That while he had loved the past him, he loved the present him far more. That he would love nothing more than to know everything about the person he loved.

A moment couldn't go by in the man's presence without Takano somehow reminding him of this 'love' he has for him whether it be by the verbal phrase or a physical act. With each one, Ritsu could feel himself falling harder and harder. With each day, he found himself wondering about Takano – of what he liked and what he disliked. Sometimes, he'd mentally yell at himself for being so distracted. Sometimes, he'd blush and try to ignore the path his mind had taken to follow.

And sometimes, even for a moment, Ritsu liked to think that when Takano tells him that he loves him, the feelings are real. ***

It was a while before Ritsu realized that the head editor was no longer preoccupied with Mino. Rather, they were now preoccupied with meeting his emerald eyes in a staring match. Ritsu, now aware of the real world again, was the first to turn his face away in order to grab some papers someone from another department had dropped off. Takano didn't have time to call his attention back for now, not only was Kisa requesting his attention, but Isaka had just announced his presence on the floor.

After a brief conversation with Takano, the man had thankfully left their department to see another one, albeit not without a cheeky smile and a couple backhanded compliments. Ritsu was quite thankful that he left so simply; while he seemingly had a vast talent for editing, his personality was too jarring for Ritsu to follow even on his best days.

He very nearly collapsed when he got home late at almost midnight. Since everyone was waiting on Yoshikawa's manuscript, Takano had sent everyone home for the night to rest up in preparation for spending majority of the next day packing boxes. Ten large boxes had been passed out to each department a little after eight. They'd get their use over the next few days.

Ritsu's head pounded at the very thought of it. Luckily, his stomach seemed to have settled down for the day, so a stomach ache didn't accompany the pain in his head. Indeed, the brunet could be thankful for small mercies.

He slowly made his way through the hazardous wasteland he called his living space to his bathroom to relieve himself. Afterwards, he promised, he promised that he would go to bed.

With a sigh, he flushed the toilet and washed his hands. It had started as just flicking his eyes up to the mirror, but it became a full-blown stare down at his reflection. Was that him?

It couldn't be. He was never that pale; the skin tone of his reflection was as pasty as a white blanket sheet. The pallidness brought out the dark circles under his eyes, making his overall appearance look more sickly than it was already. The only part of his reflection that looked alive were his eyes – they were a little glossy, but their brightness was a sharp contrast to the dull and dead look his reflection had. His hair was in a disarray. Without noticing, his left hand was carding through his hand, only for him to pull it away in slight disgust. His chestnut hair was oily and limply falling over his head in frizzy clumps. Ritsu could admit to himself was that part of the reason was because of him being too tired to hop in the shower (and his own personal fear that he'll fall asleep mid-shower).

He couldn't recall a time where he looked such a way, not even on 'hell week'. All in all, it was a graphic argument against his vehement refusal to acknowledge his illness. It was a kick in the face for Ritsu.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

Ritsu watches his reflection blink slowly the fogginess of thought leaving them slowly as he became aware of the world again. The editor leaned on the back of his feet and gripped the sink counter with his hand to peer out of the bathroom doorway to look in the direction of the apartment entryway. Someone was at the door, and that someone seemed particularly impatient since a couple seconds passed before there was another furious set of knocking.

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"Onodera!?"

Ritsu settled back into a normal standing position and blinked again before his eyebrows furrowed as his mind placed a name to the voice. Takano. What could he want at – Ritsu turned to look at his clock – fifteen till one in the morning? Why was he so loud? His headache was throbbing in time with the knocks. Why couldn't he wait until Ritsu at work later on that day? He supposed he'd only know if he answered the door.

But, honestly, Ritsu didn't want to open the door. Not if, he chanced another look at his reflection...

Knock! Knock! Knock!

"Onodera?! Are you in there?!"

He heaved a sigh; each knock on the door was like a hammer to his brain. Just when he thought his headache was going away...

Deciding that it was better for his head (and their neighbors) that he placate the man by answering the door. Turning back to the mirror, Ritsu quickly brushed his hair with his fingers until it looked somewhat presentable. Hopefully, Takano would just think it looked so messy because he had just gotten up from bed.

Knock! Knock! Kno-

"Onodera!" Takano's called out upon seeing him open the door. His loud voice made Ritsu wince a little. The taller man sharp features softened. With a lowered volume, he says. "You left this in the office today."

Ritsu blinked groggily. Forgotten papers? He could see the editor-in-chief pulling out a stack of papers from his bag holding them in front of him. Looking at them, he could see that they were part of the editor's manual that he had printed out at work. Suddenly alert, Ritsu takes the papers. Takano easily lets them go.

Now armed with the forgotten papers, Ritsu gives a few side glances at the still present Takano. The man didn't seem intent on going back to his apartment now that his job as delivery was finished. What else did the other man want to do or speak about? Surely not – Ritsu's eyes narrowed as his cheeks flushed red. No, he wasn't going to entertain such thoughts and he was not going to entertain this man if he was planning on that.

"...en?"

Ritsu suddenly took a sharp intake of air; he could've sworn Takano had just spoken. "What?"

Takano gave him a slightly irritated look. "Have you eaten yet?"

"Eh..." Ritsu's voice trailed off and the papers in his hands crinkled as his grip tightened on them. His stomach grumbled unhappily at the thought of food. He hasn't been able to hold much down lately. Even when he ate something light like an apple, he'd end up throwing it up later. The only thing he's been consuming with little issue were crackers and occasionally water. He had tried to mix up his meals by having crackers on the side of a small meal and it seemed to work so far, but he was often too tired to fix up a meal like that what with hell week and moving offices were upon the Emerald Department.

But Takano didn't have to know that. "No..."

Almost immediately after he said that, he wanted to slap his palm across his face. Why the hell did he tell the truth?

True to expectation, the editor-in-chief frowned at him. "... Do you want me to bring something over?"

Ritsu's eyes widened; now that, he wasn't expecting. Part of him was tempted to take Takano up on his offer because maybe he'll eat something decent this week. The other part was woefully reminding him that he'll probably leave the food to rot like everything else once he's found the taste makes him nauseous (another unfortunate event that's suddenly popped up).

The woeful side of him won out and he told Takano that he has something he's been saving to eat for a while now. Takano gave him a doubtful glance, but with a little prodding and assurance, seemed to finally concede. Ritsu was about to close his door, eagerly imagining himself sinking into his bed when the door was suddenly stopped. The editor didn't have the time to react before his head was suddenly tipped back by a hand and there were lips pressed against his own.

A second passed before his cheeks lit up with a bright pink blush that threatened to overtake his face. A few more passed, but Ritsu couldn't bring himself to move away, whether because he was caught completely off guard and had yet to recover or because of other unnameable reasons. As quick as it had came, Takano's lips left his and Ritsu felt himself lean forward just a slight bit. He wanted more – just a little bit more of Takano. The thought stunned Ritsu, leaving him open to Takano then touching their foreheads together. The other man's hands were keeping Ritsu's head in place.

"...You're warm. But I can't tell if it's because you're blushing so hard or if it's because you're really sick." Takano sounded a little disgruntled. Ritsu wasn't sure if he was hearing the other right. All he knew was that it was suddenly too hot. Too hot!

Ritsu reached up with his own hands to pull Takano's down. The movement was a little weird with the papers still being in his hands. When the other looked at him in slight surprise, Ritsu turned his head away, refusing to meet eyes. "... I'm tired."

The editor wasn't sure how much longer they stood like that, Takano's hands held loosely by Ritsu's. The other could slip them out at anytime, but he had yet to do so. It wasn't until he felt the editor-in-chief's lips on his forehead was he sure that time had officially stopped.

"Go to bed then." The words were whispered softly in his ears. Those warm hands were slipping out of his now; Ritsu wanted to grab them once more and hold them for just a little longer, but he couldn't. He just couldn't.

Ritsu turned away again, not in embarrassment, but in shame. Even though he wanted to try and make it known to Takano of his feelings – he just couldn't. Not for any specific reason, he just couldn't muster up the courage to act through on his feelings.

Ritsu... was deathly scared of being hurt like he had the last time he had let himself fall only to plummet to the unforgiving ground.

That was why, when Takano turned to walk away, all Ritsu did was silently close his door, his eyes stuck on the ground. He didn't even tell Takano 'goodnight' back.

Now with the door closed, the apartment suddenly felt cold. A shiver ran down his back as he walked back to his bed. Absently, dropping the papers onto a nearby pile, he moved to climb in, but stopped.

Ritsu knew himself and he knew his habits (both good and unfortunately, the bad ones too well). The train of thought that he had would keep him up. No matter how many times he would try to divert it away from its path to sleep, it will always come back to this depressing mindset. The only way Ritsu has found that successfully drives those thoughts away was work.

And that was Ritsu did. Clenching his hands, he pulled himself away from his bed and settled himself in the small circle free of a mess. As he pulled his duvet tighter against his body and picked up the papers Takano had brought him, he mentally told himself, 'I can push all of this off for now; Takano, being sick, these damn feelings... they can all wait for this weekend.'

* Actual (paraphrased) dialogue from Masamune Takano in The Case of Ritsu Onodera: 15
(Vol 8, Ch 3 on Mangago)

** Actual dialogue from Ritsu Onodera in The Case of Ritsu Onodera: 16
(Vol 8, Ch 6 on Mangago)

*** In Vol 8, Ch 10 (Mangago), Ritsu notes that 'if Takano is to hold him so gently like he loves him'. This can be taken as Ritsu falling deeper in love or it can be turned angsty and interpreted as Ritsu having trouble actually believing that someone loves him. Both are viable interpretations, but I'm going with the latter in this story.

For those wondering about the whole tearing up while throwing up thing, whenever I'm actually sick enough that I throw up, I cry because I feel just that horrible and I'm unused to it. I'm normally a very healthy person who only enters a hospital to visit others. Getting that sick is incredibly rare and so far, has happened twice with at least ten years between visits. It's been implied that Ritsu doesn't seem to get sick often either, or at least sick enough to warrant a visit to the hospital.

For a good chunk of the manga, he's not sick (even apparently shaking off the cold he seemed to get in Case 10 before Case 11). There's also the crazy amount stress of his job that he's, amazingly, survived (though perhaps that's just his sheer force of will showing). He's also shown to be rather careless with his health, implying he has a lot of confidence he can handle quite the attack on his immune system (Case 16). I think that suddenly coming down with a 'sickness' where he has an everlasting headache, stomach pains, fatigue, plus throwing up over the course of the day would really get to him.