Summary(?): Robin and Barney don't fall asleep after having sex in Sand Castles in the Sand.

The One where Robin stands by Barney

Robin feels sinking guilt as her breathing slows down and her endorphins settle to a pleasant hum. Barney, naked beside her, seems to be suffering from the same affliction, because as she looks at him from the side she sees his jaw working. Not in the way it had been thirty minutes ago, whispering dirty words and growling into her ears, drawing her close to the line of utter attraction and hilarity because she knows Barney too well to buy every word he says, but god, it all sounds so good when he's saying it.

Now though, there's nothing funny about this. Knowing him well really only makes this worse.

"I just slept with my best friend's ex-girlfriend." Barney finally says it. Robin exhales.

"I just slept with my ex-boyfriend's best friend."

Marshall is definitely Ted's best friend, but her words earn her a half-quirk of Barney's lips. The moment of levity is ruined as Barney throws his arm over his eyes and he groans.

"Shit. Ted's going to kill me."

Barney's too serious for her taste, so she levels with him.

"He'll be pretty pissed for sure, but I think he'll forgive us after a bit of pouting," she says. "Besides, we're not going to tell him, are we?"

"Course not." Barney snorts. They pause for a moment before sighing as one. They both know their little group is totally shit at keeping secrets. Barney continues, "Either way, you shouldn't be worried. He'd give you a free pass off the bat."

Robin frowns.

"Hey, it takes two to tango." There's a beat before she can't help but add, "And damn did we tango."

Her words earn her another smile, but it's wan compared to normal.

"But I broke the Bro-code," Barney explains, shifting his arm away from his eyes. He elaborates before she can protest. "Besides, you slept with each other. Ted makes weird attachments that way. He's not gonna risk losing you."

…The way he can risk losing me. It's implied and startling to her.

"You two have known each other longer," she counters.

"Yeah, but you mean more." He shuts his mouth with a click, radiating sudden tension, clearly having said more than he meant to. Barney's gaze is trained on the ceiling and this is all getting too real for Robin. She's feeling a little out of her depth. She does what her father taught her to do— plow straight on through and ignore it.

"That's bullshit," she says. "The Bro-code doesn't have a clause for sexual encounters with other bros, does it?" Considering Barney wrote it with male-bros in mind, she highly doubts it. (Robin is a little pleased to be the first woman-Bro.)

"True," Barney says. He's hesitating. Robin knows it's never really been about the Bro-code. Not really. It's about the fact Ted values his relationship with Robin more than his with Barney's and it's become startlingly clear to her in the past few minutes now that she thinks about it, that he really does. The first thing she feels is pride and a bit of smugness. She likes being liked, a real flaw in her personality. Barney's passive acceptance of the fact though sucks any and all fun out of the matter. Where's the fun in being liked more if it isn't a competition?

But still, there's no reason why Ted should treat them completely unfairly. They both did this (well, thoroughly, and multiply times; hey-o) and she wants to think Ted is a bigger person than Barney fears he is. Maybe this is really all about Barney's father issues, poor self-worth etcetera, etcetera. Robin is more okay with that explanation.

Saying that out loud really won't help Barney at all, so instead she appeals to a side of him that he can't ignore.

"Betcha a bottle of Johnnie Walker that he freaks on both of us equally. If he finds out. "

Barney twitches and he finally turns to look at her, a mix of emotions on his face. The only one she can parse out is faint hope.

"Well, I know you like it freaky now, so either way, I think you win."

She rolls her eyes and laughs. He really has no idea.

"Let's just hope he doesn't find out, yeah?"

Barney nods eagerly. "Yeah."

"Now then, can we please proceed with the walk of shame bit?" she asks.

"I thought you'd never ask," he says with a glowing smile.

He makes a show of pretending to sneak around the room and gather clothes. She muffles chuckles and uses her time to take in the view for material later on. This is one of her better lays as of late, and she'd like to commemorate the fact.

Even if it can never happen again.

Robin is on the roof of McLaren's. Ted finally showed up after a long period of crouching and drinking about half of their supply of alcohol. The look on his face when he sees everyone makes the waiting worth it though. He's got that warm smile on his face, the one that declares that there's nowhere on earth Ted would rather be, and that includes whatever fetish buildings he obsesses over. When they were dating, it was easily Robin's favorite expression of his. It made him seem engaged with the present. Half of Ted's charm is that he's a dreamer; head in the clouds and eyes always looking down the road. She would never change that, but every now and then, having him touch base is nice.

With Ted's arrival, the party can really begin, and people throw themselves into it with gusto, despite having been up here for more than an hour already, just waiting. With the ensuing din, Robin only barely hears her phone go off. She moves over to the edge of the building to get a little privacy as she pulls her cell from her purse and flips it open.

She has one new text from Barney. Robin presses it and feels her contentment begin seeping out of her skin like water from a sieve.

'You owe me a bottle of whiskey.'

No emoticons, no jokes, just stark text that sticks boldly out against all the over capitalized, and over exclamatory texts she's gotten from him before, telling her to suit up, requesting her presence for a laser-tag tournament, or just reminding her of that one time she was a Canadian teen-pop sensation.

"I think we should get some funds together and put in a gazebo and bench up here."

Robin whips around and sees Ted approaching her. The warm expression on his face suddenly seems off. She can only just manage to smile as he leans up against the concrete barrier on the edge of the building beside her, looking out at the party.

"Probably a good investment, but you know if anyone from the bar finds out it'll just become a place to crash and have sex," she points out.

Ted shudders. "Right. Good point. Same reason we don't tell everyone we live about the bar."

Robin nods. There's a small lull in the conversation and Robin leaps at the opening.

"Lots of hot girls here," she comments. "Woulda thought Barney would be all over this party."

She looks at Ted from the corner of her eye, hoping that her faith hasn't been misplaced, that Barney misinterpreted. Robin can't help but think maybe she doesn't have all the facts, because when she folded and told Ted what happened, he didn't lash out. His eyes seemed a little red and it took him a minute to process, but he straight out told her he wasn't mad. She almost texted Barney right then and there, but she wanted to see his face when she told him he owes her that bottle of whiskey. Now she's so glad she didn't because either she missed something or Barney really was right and Ted does blatantly favor her over Barney for their past romance… Ted wouldn't do that right? She wants to believe the best in him. If he said that he has no hard feelings on the matter, then she should trust him… Right?

She's disappointed because he looks at her and she sees a flash of something like betrayal and accusation before it's smoothed over.

"Barney's not coming," Ted says coolly.

"Why not?" Robin asks, maybe too loudly by his alarmed look.

Ted sighs. "Come on, Robin. You know why. He broke the Bro-code."

"So did I," she pushes out, trying to keep her volume low.

"You don't really count as a bro in the Bro-code," Ted rationalizes. "Besides, Barney's stupid code aside, it's more like a friend thing between guys. You just don't."

"Bros before hoes," she counters, surprising even herself with the words. But it's also in the Bro-code. It's also a friend thing between guys.

Ted gives a smile and a shake of his head. "Come on, Robin. That doesn't make sense here. You're my friend."

"But it's okay for me to be up here?" Robin says. He claims she's a friend, but at the same time isn't willing to hold her to the same expectations as Barney. A friend, but not a bro. She suddenly and uncomfortably finds that she doesn't know how Ted really sees their relationship.

He seems to misinterpret her tone, because he gives her a smile.

"It's fine," he assures her. "You and I? We're good. Barney… Well, Barney and I have been on thin ice for a while. I think the moment's come where I finally outgrow him and his antics. It's just one of those things, I guess."

He shrugs and laughs and Robin seethes. Outgrowing people, like clothing or a childish tic. Barney isn't either of those things. He's their friend, not a phase.

"That's a little strong."

"It's a long time coming, and it would have happened sooner or later." Ted frowns. "Hey, don't sweat it. You and I are fine, you don't need to worry."

She grits her teeth and clenches her fists. Anger boils beneath her skin, aimed at Ted, but fueled by the sheer disappointment she feels for her naïve assumptions. Her mouth opens to ask him what the hell he thinks he's doing with this whole situation, but she remembers herself in time. The party is still raging on before them, Ted's party. She's pissed, but this isn't the place for their upcoming spat. They'll just have to discuss it later, when the party's over. Besides, she can think of something else she needs to do right now.

The last of her strong emotions fade away when she remembers what she thought was a hopeful look on Barney's face earlier when she easily swore to him that Ted wouldn't treat them differently. Now she sees the look for what it was… sad acceptance of what he already knew would happen, regardless of any half-baked faith he had in his friend. But he went through with it anyways. He was rejected anyways.

Robin pushes away from the side of the building.

"Robin? Where are you going?" Ted asks from behind her.

"I'm going to get more alcohol," she replies, casting a brittle smile over her shoulder to keep him on the roof while she disappears down the fire escape. Robin reaches the bottom level of the alley and pulls her phone out and selects Barney's name before starting her belated response text.

'Meet me at my place.' She clicks send before heading into McLaren's.

The bar is unusually empty, with only Carl behind the bar. Most of the regulars are upstairs, knowing Ted well enough to justify getting drunk for free on the roof above their favorite bar. Wendy the waitress is up there, Robin knows.

"I need some Johnnie Walker blue," she says. Carl reaches for a tumbler and she clarifies. "Give me the whole bottle."

Carl raises an eyebrow. "You don't get to buy whole bottles from a bar like this, sweetie. I'm not getting new stock until Monday."

"It's a special occasion," Robin says. It is, just not a good one.

Carl looks at her for a moment before pulling out a full bottle and placing it on the counter.

"Not for the party upstairs, is it?" he asks, intuitive as ever.

Robin sighs as an answer before shelling out the cash for her purchase. She's just put her wallet away when he phone goes off.

A reply that takes longer than a minute is strange for Barney, but considering the circumstances, Robin thinks it's fair. She's just glad he got back to her at all. Robin doesn't know what went down with him and Ted, but she knows it wouldn't have been pretty. Barney's like her in that he probably had the urge to flee the state, if not the country.

'Feel like losing Battleship again?' he asks.

Robin snorts and replies.

'Not how it went last time.'

Barney immediately text back before she can even flip her phone shut.

'Canada's naval presence is too pathetic to even be having this conversation.'

Robin smiles. That's more like it.

'We have more coastal land.'

'Yeah, in the arctic tundra. Coast land that isn't beach doesn't count,' Barney replies.

She toys with the idea of bringing up Alaska, but that isn't why she's texting him right now.

'Shut up and come over.'

There's a noticeable pause in their rapid-fire conversation. Robin stares at the screen hard until it lights up again.

'Be there whenever Ranjit stops giving me advice and starts driving.'

Robin gets a text from an unknown number.

'My advice is unparalleled —R'

Robin shakes her head and shuts her phone. Carl has been watching her the whole time. She musters the energy to give him a smile. Her last interaction has given her the pep she needs to plow on a little further.

Besides, it's good to know the alcohol she bought won't be going to waste tonight.

After saying goodbye to Carl, she hails a cab and heads to her apartment. She gets in four minutes before Barney is there, knocking on her door.

Robin hasn't had time to change out of her dress, so she stands there before him, holding the bottle of whiskey, barefoot and wearing a sexy black dress. She realizes that after what happened last night, inviting him back here probably wasn't the best idea seeing how she decided that that is never happening again. She didn't need to be worried. His eyes, for the first time ever, don't skate over her body. Barney just looks at her face.

His eyes are just bloodshot enough to let her know that if he wasn't crying before he got here, it was a near thing.

Robin holds out the whiskey bottle.

"Fair and square," she says, belying the fact that this is maybe the bitterest victory he's ever had. He gives a hollow snort.

"Of course you buy blue." He shakes his head. "Johnnie Walker red is far superior… You're hoping I'll split my prize with you, aren't you?"

Robin shrugs and hopes he doesn't see how anxious she is for him to take up her blatant plea for his company. It isn't her fault, all this business with Ted, but she feels so guilty. Her being spared is a strange knife in the gut considering she has no consequences.

"Well, as a fair and benevolent victor, I invite my enemy to join me in my spoils of war." Barney enters her apartment and settles on her couch. Robin exhales and shuts the door firmly behind him. She goes to the kitchen and finds the tumblers that Barney got her for her birthday a couple years ago.

"On the rocks," Barney calls from the living room.

"I already know you're a pussy, no need to restate it," she shoots back, putting ice in his. She rejoins him in the living room, putting their glasses on the coffee table in front of them, letting Barney pour the alcohol. He gives her two fingers worth, and a generous three for himself.

Neither of them say anything for the first couple drinks. Halfway through the second, Robin thinks about playing the Sandcastles in the Sand music video again, but realizes that it'd probably have the opposite effect of cheering him up at this point.

Robin stops after two, but Barney reaches three before he breaks their silence. By this point, they're both on the ground, leaning against the couch, feeling vaguely miserable.

"He said he outgrew me," Barney says, staring at the wall in front of them. "Ted, I mean."

Robin bites her lip. It was that particular comment that almost drew her into ugly screeching at Ted's birthday party. That's something she'll tell Barney later, when they're laughing about this. For now, she shrugs.

"If Ted says he's outgrown your wingman services, you'll just have to find someone else to mentor," she says with forced levity. "That should be a fun challenge. We can find someone more hopeless than Ted, but to be honest, I don't think he'll hold out for long."

"My friendship," Barney says solemnly. "He said he outgrew my friendship."

Robin's jaw falls open in shock.

"What…?" she asks.

Barney gives a graceless shrug.

"He doesn't want to be friends anymore. He was serious too… I betrayed his trust." Barney sighs. "Maybe this was a long time coming. This was the straw, I guess."

Robin closes her mouth. Guilt and anger fill her; she focuses on the latter.

"That's bullshit," she says plainly.

Barney blinks and looks at her. He smiles, but it's small and half-hearted.

"They're my rules. I broke them. This is the consequence, I guess." Barney gives a huff. "I think it'll take him a long time to get over this one. I mean, he will, won't he? He has to…"

Robin nods helplessly. "Of course!"

"Til then, I guess I have to wait." He groans. "I'm gonna miss McLaren's…"

"What? Where are you going? You're not leaving the state, are you?" Robin frowns. "That's too much."

"No, but if Ted doesn't want to talk to me or see me, I'll have to avoid him for a while 'til he cools off. You know, I can't believe this, but I think I'll even miss Marshall and Lily, even though they are nauseating."

"Stop, shut up. What are you saying? Why aren't you going to see them?"

"Robin, Robin, Robin." Barney shakes his head. "Don't you get it? Ted gets the kids and the house in the divorce. They were his first."

It's a funny metaphor, but it makes Robin's eyes water more than anything. Mostly because she can totally see that happening. Marshall and Lily will go along with Ted, even if Lily will give him a chastising word now and then to make up with Barney. They'll sit at McLaren's in the same booth, drink the usual beer, and discuss Ted's love life, Lily's kindergarteners, and Marshall's job.

Robin blinks as she realizes that she hasn't completely figured out where she lands in all of this. Her first instinct is to stick with Ted. He's the one who introduced her to Lily, Marshall, and Barney. That has to count for something, right? Then again, that assumptive logic about owing someone fealty is sort of what got them into this mess to begin with.

But what's the alternative? Jump into the life raft with Barney? Abandon the safety and security of their booth and the assurance of her small group of friends? For Barney, who womanizes and disengages more than any of them?

Barney isn't at fault though. This is Ted's doing, and Robin should have just as much accountability as Barney.

It's scary for her though. Sure she's a member of their group, but Barney, Ted, Lily, and Marshall all have a history and mechanic she still doesn't feel comfortable tampering with. She doesn't want to make waves, especially with Ted who's the glue that connected someone as bizarre as Barney to the lovey-dovey unit that is Lily/Marshall. Robin is an anomaly —a girl who stayed with them, after the break up (very, very weird she now knows)— and her rights to the group can be vetoed still. The dynamic just isn't hers to mess with or argue against… But she then remembers Barney taking her out and wingman-ing her, taking her laser-tagging, and comforting her after Simon broke up with her (even if things took a turn to a different path at the end). Robin owes it to him to push herself out of her comfort range, and rock the life raft.

Robin takes a deep breath. "Not all the kids."

Barney blinks and looks at her.

"I'm the redheaded step-child who wandered in," she says. "I didn't get picked up by Ted first, I mean, not really. I think I get to choose."

"And you pick this?" Barney pulls away suddenly, shoving his shields up. "I know I'm awesome, very, very awesome, but you're going to miss Lily and Marshall and Ted. You don't have to do this."

Robin doesn't think she'll lose Lily— they have a strong enough friendship to survive the strong currents. If she has Lily, then she has Marshall. As for Ted, she has to believe he'll come around. For now, her priority is making sure Barney isn't suffering for this alone.

"Bros before hoes," she says with a grin. "I gotta side with you first before past hoe relations."

Barney blinks hard before he's laughing, a hearty chuckle that shows how utterly surprised and relieved he is, and Robin knows she made the right choice.

"I underestimated you, Bro-Robin," he says.

"You're damn right," she agrees.

Things are on a shaky, but undeniably positive note. They finish the bottle of Johnnie Walker blue anyways, laughing and falling over each other extra hard to make up for the silence before. At the end of it, Barney passes out on the couch and Robin makes her way to the bed, barely able to walk straight.

She hits the comforter with a giggle. Even as she worries about what'll happen next, she thinks she'll still have fun. There are very few things she can count on for certain right now. She doesn't know how Ted will react, if he'll realize what he said was a mistake. She doesn't know if Lily will stand by her, if Marshall will follow along. And she doesn't know if she and Barney can successfully hang out for long periods of time without wanting to strangle each other.

What she does know, is that she has copious amounts of laser-tag in her future.

Which ain't half bad.

.

.

.

Potentially the first and last time I'll be writing in this fandom. I intended to flesh this out into a full story but it actually works as a one-shot.

I was always very irked that Robin immediately fell in line with Ted's rejection of Barney, especially when she had half the blame. My excuse for this happening is that they don't fall asleep after the sex, so the situation is still close to Robin, and not as awkward as it could be. Plus the bros before hoes clause totally works when Barney considers Robin a bro and vice-versa.

Probably riddled with errors. I've read through this maybe five times in total. Sorry for any glaring ones.

To any readers of my other series (Young and Built to Fall crowd, I'm looking at you), please do not leave messages here asking me to update other stories. That isn't how I work.

I should note that starting in August, I may be absent for a while...

Thank you for reading!