The sheets were tossed aside as Weiss groaned audibly, feeling the pit in her stomach expand as she gripped the edges of her bed; a snarl making its way from her throat as she forced her eyes shut as hard as possible. Her grip tightened and her filed nails pressed into the memory foam mattress so hard they were enveloped.
It isn't fair, She thought. It isn't fair that I did this to myself. And wasn't that the truth? She had fallen in love with him. She had fallen in love with her. They had all been happy together. And then the jealousy started up.
She was everything Weiss had ever wanted, she still is; and he was just as lovely, she had fallen just as quickly. She had figured it would be fine. One didn't feel like quite enough to her, it didn't satisfy her. And he had come before her. She was welcomed into it all with open arms, and she figured it would be fine.
But how could Weiss have known? She closed her eyes even tighter than before and clenched her teeth, feeling her chest tighten and her heartbeat pick up in pace.
It's fine. It's fine. You broke up with them. You said the words. You wanted to, it was for your own mental health.
But they were still together, and the other people they had started seeing that had made her jealous were still with them.
Still kissing them.
Holding them.
I wonder what her lips feel like…? What do they taste like? Probably strawberries.
She sighed, letting out in one slow breath. How could she have just let them go? Because she was being a jealous, petty, abusive person. And she knew it was best.
Still, doesn't hurt any less… All those selfies they take hurt to look at. I keep staring at their lips… This isn't good. This isn't healthy: I need to stop.
…
…
…
What would his lips taste like? Probably strawberries…
A flash of anger passed through her, jealousy in a way she had never felt before. Twice as potent, twice as depressing. She took another deep breath and pressed a hand to her chest.
It was all her fault. She did it. She couldn't stop it from happening. And she still loved them.
Are they even thinking about me when they're with each other? With other people? No. Probably not.
…
How can they just not feel jealousy? How can they just… Get over the fact that their partner is with another person?
She rolled over and stared at the wall her bed was pressed against. She curled her hands into fists and she shivered as a cold blast of air blew through the room. It was always so cold in winter.
It almost felt colder now.
Her face went red, a sudden hot flash. Embarrassment. For what reason?
They haven't texted me in a while. Aren't we still friends? Don't we still talk? They haven't been talking a lot lately. Not even in person. Our group chat has been completely silent. Almost like they don't want to talk to me…
Her stomach twisted, and she felt her guts churn and cramp as the thought started to sink in that maybe their friendship was strained now.
She loved them. And their friendship was strained.
She started breathing harder.
No. No, I refuse to accept it.
She grabbed at her scroll and sent them a message each, and one in the group chat.
She waited for twenty minutes.
They don't want to talk to me. Silence. They're together I know it. They have no reason to check their scrolls…
Whatever.
It's fine.
Totally fine.