My wife is crazy

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The snow-covered ground squeaked as Rukia stepped outside of Urahara's convenience shop, her whole winter attire on. She looked up at the now completely dark sky and smiled as a cottony snowflake landed on her nose and melted in a second. She then proceeded to look at her watch and widened her eyes.

"Ichigo! Hurry you idiot, we're gonna be late!"

Tonight was Christmas Eve; a very special night for the Kurosaki family, mainly because it was Isshin's favorite holiday and every year he invited all his children to stay and celebrate at the Kurosaki residence. Last year, Ichigo and Rukia hadn't been able to make it due to unexpected squad duties in the Seireitei, so this time they were not allowed, under any circumstances, to miss Christmas Eve in Karakura.

Ichigo rushed out -more like was kicked out of- the store with his own winter coat and boots on. "What time is it?" he asked his wife.

The Kuchiki didn't need to take another look at her watch to answer. "7:30 p.m. sharp."

"What?! That's impossible, we didn't even stay that long at Urahara's." Ichigo grabbed Rukia's wrist in one swift motion in order to examine the watch himself. "Rukia it's 6:30 p.m.! Dinner is at 7:00 and it takes like ten minutes to get there. There's no way we'll be late."

Rukia checked her watch again with a puzzled look on her frowning face. She then crossed her arms over her chest. "Che, I knew that. I just wanted to get you out of there or you would've stayed another hour in to fix your hair."

Ichigo eyebrow twitched. "When did you ever actually see me fix my hair?"

Rukia smirked mischievously as she started walking on the sidewalk however, without giving her husband any answer.

"What the hell does that smirk mean?"

Ichigo soon followed Rukia and they made their way through the peaceful streets side by side, until they reached a very familiar doorstep. Rukia walked up to it first and rang the doorbell.

"Wait!" she suddenly exclaimed, turning to Ichigo. "Where are the presents?!"

"Rukia, relax. I got them," he said and showed her the bag he'd been carrying in his hand this entire time. "Are you nervous or something? This is just my family we're talking about."

"I'm not nervous-" she murmured with frowned brows but was cut mid-way by the door flying open in front of them.

"MY CHILDREN!" Both shinigamis widened their eyes in surprise at the unexpected welcome wagon coming from the one and only…Isshin Kurosaki. "Come in, come in!"

The married couple stepped in and Ichigo closed the door behind him, only to turn back around and witness his embarrassment of a father bringing Rukia in a tight hug. "My third daughter, oh how I've missed you!"

Ichigo frowned as he put a hand on Rukia's shoulder, gently pulling her away from his father. "Dad, you're basically choking her."

"Oh my, Papa is sorry Rukia-chan!" Isshin apologized dramatically as he let his grip on her go. "It's just that I haven't seen you guys in months!"

Rukia laughed wholeheartedly. "I'm so sorry we couldn't make it for your birthday this year, Isshin-san."

"It's no worries dear, I know how busy you guys are in the Seireitei." Isshin then turned to his son. "So, Ichigo, how's married life treating ya?" he asked, shooting him a not so subtle wink.

Ichigo scowled even harder as he and Rukia started taking off their coats and boots. "Do you really have to ask me that question every time we see each other?"

Isshin only grinned in response before turning his head to yell behind him. "Girls! They're here!" Then came running out of the kitchen a very excited Yuzu, with a cute little apron tied around her waist and some flour smeared on her cheek.

"Rukia! Ichigo!" she exclaimed with a huge smile on her face. "We missed you so much!" Yuzu hugged both her sister-in-law and her brother, tears pricking her eyes.

"Yuzu, I think you're even taller than the last time I saw you!" Rukia said, honestly amazed. Ichigo scoffed silently. "Or you're just growing shorter," he murmured under his breath.

He saw Rukia shooting him the deadliest look ever while his family wasn't looking and he smirked at her cockily. He could only guess trying to control her psychopathic tendencies not to be an easy task for Kuchiki Rukia.

Ichigo made his way to the living room where a bunch of little white lights were illuminating a small Christmas tree. He smiled at the decorations, which he was ready to bet, had probably been put in place by Yuzu. He then proceeded to take out the three gifts he and Rukia had gotten for his family and placed them under the tree. It wasn't long before he heard footsteps coming down the stairs and saw Karin, wearing a black hoody and black yoga pants grin at him as she crossed her arms.

"Long time no see, big bro."

Ichigo smiled back at his younger sister. "Right back at ya," he answered. "How's med school going?"

"Good. Insane, considering I only started a few months ago, but good." Karin then looked around the room. "Rukia couldn't make it?"

"She's in the kitchen talking to Dad and Yuzu." Ichigo responded, putting his hands in his pockets. Honestly, he was getting so used to wearing a Shihakusho that being in this gigai, wearing normal human clothes felt incredibly…weird. Weird, but not foreign.

Karin grinned again and her face lit up. "Oh, good! I'm excited to hear all the stories of you screwing up and her beating the living shit out of you."

A scowl magically made its way back on Ichigo's face. "As I was saying; so good to see you again, sis," Ichigo said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Karin laughed as both siblings made their way into the kitchen, joining the other three that were apparently giggling about something hilarious.

"What's so funny?" Ichigo asked with frowned brows.

Yuzu looked at him with wide eyes then covered her mouth with her hand, giggling once more. "Oh, it's nothing!"

Ichigo was about to ask again, seeing that all three of them were trying to contain their laughter when Yuzu cleared her throat and spoke again. "Ichigo, I was telling Rukia earlier just how gorgeous her dress is. I mean, doesn't she look beautiful?"

Ichigo shot a look at his wife, who was looking back at him with a slight smile on her lips. Her dress was black and lacy and it fit her small body like a glove, as if it had been made especially for her. It was a simple dress, yet the way she wore it made the colour of her eyes stand out and complimented her every form. She looked absolutely flawless.

Ichigo swallowed and felt heat rise to his face as his own eyes lingered on his wife, and everyone else's fixed on him. He heard Karin scoff loudly. "Are you really blushing? For the love of god Ichigo, you do know that you've been married for three years right?"

Ichigo closed his eyes in embarrassment and frustration as he heard the others laughing. "Shut up," he growled.

Once supper was ready and served, they all moved to the table and ate. Once again, Yuzu Kurosaki had prepared an amazing feast; home-made fried chicken, fish stew, grilled vegetables and oven-baked sweet potatoes. Everyone then moved to the living room where they talked and laughed for hours, reminiscing about old childhood storied and catching up with everyone's lives; Karin's medical school, Yuzu's chef job, Isshin's clinic and of course, the married couple's squad duties.

When midnight came, they decided it was time to share their presents. With the twins unwrapping hand-made trinkets from the seventh district of Rukongai, items Ichigo and Rukia had specifically gotten for them a while ago, and Isshin's usual embarrassing gift-giving, the hour had passed in a blur. A warm, comfortable hour nonetheless.

Ichigo shot a look between Rukia and his sisters, a trio who had been exchanging thoughts on bunny rabbits and zanpakutos for the past fifteen minutes. He noted the sincerity of Rukia's smile as she talked and listened, and his sisters' warmth as they did the same. He smiled to himself. Maybe this was one of those moments. Those moments you remember, for some unknown reason, for the rest of your life.

Eventually though, as the clock kept on ticking, someone was bound of let a yawn escape. And Ichigo had to admit, he was pretty damn tired himself.

"The old man is falling asleep over here," Karin called out with a scoff. "I guess it is getting late."

Ichigo turned around to look at the clock on the wall and noticed it was past two in the morning. He suddenly couldn't supress the yawn stretching at his throat and saw Rukia's hilarious attempt to hide hers with the back of her hand. He scoffed silently.

"I think it's time to call it a night," he said and his father nodded vigorously, perhaps more so than he had intended to.

"Indeed," he old man agreed as he got up. "Yuzu, honey, leave the dishes there, we'll take care of it tomorrow."

Yuzu stretched her thin arms over her head and smiled, nodding. It seemed to Ichigo that Karin was the only one who didn't seem tired. Probably from all those times she had to pull all-nighters to study. He and Rukia walked up the stairs, followed by his sisters. He saw Karin grin.

"Alright you guys, 'goodnight," she said with a wave of her hand.

Yuzu smiled widely. "Sleep tight! See you tomorrow!"

"'Night guys," Ichigo answered as Rukia waved at them after thanking them for the evening. Ichigo then entered his old room, rubbing his face as he heard Rukia shutting the door close behind him.

He yawned a second time. "I don't know about you but I'm too tired to take a shower. I'll just go straight to bed."

Rukia didn't answer, and to Ichigo that meant she had no problem with the plan and was giving him one of her silent agreement. He reached for a pile of clothes, pyjamas, that had been perfectly folded and placed on his bed. He brought the shirt to his nose and smelled it.

It smelled like Yuzu's laundry detergent. It smelled like his teenage years, and it smelled like home.

His lips cracked in a smile.

Wondering why Rukia hadn't moved from behind him, he searched the pile of clothes until he found one of Yuzu's old pyjamas and handed it to her.

"Here," he said. "Brings back any memories?"

Rukia stared at the piece of clothing, blinking quietly until she took it in her hands and grinned. "Sure, does. Time when my humble home was none other than a closet."

Ichigo puffed. "Che, you know you loved sleeping in there. Don't try to deny it."

He thought Rukia might cross her arms on her chest and start to argue, but instead she remained still, her eyes fixated on a random spot somewhere behind him. "Maybe I did." she answered.

Perhaps she was more tired than he'd thought.

Ichigo turned back to face his bed and was about to pull his shirt above his head, planning on changing into his pyjama.

"Wait, Ichigo," he heard Rukia's voice and stopped to face her once more. "Before we go to bed, there's something I…need to do."

Ichigo frowned in mild confusion. There was something fidgety in her voice, was it nervousness? He couldn't be sure. He put his pyjama back on the bed and saw her put hers on his desk before she faced him fully again. "Like what?" he asked.

"I…actually got you something." Rukia murmured as she pulled a small white box from behind her back.

Ichigo stayed silent, slightly surprised, then raised an eyebrow. "We said we wouldn't give each other gifts."

Rukia shrugged. "I know but that's what we said last year, yet you gave me that snowflake and moon pendant."

"I told you, it's only because it made me think of you and I thought you should have it."

"Yeah, well, consider it the same for this gift." She said as she put the small box in both of her hands and lifted it in front of Ichigo.

Ichigo looked at Rukia for a while, obviously unsure of what he would find in there. He then took the box in his own hands, and very slowly, opened it to find…

…a baby pacifier.

He blinked, frowned, then looked at his wife, who was biting her lower lip. "I don't get it," he said.

She smirked devilishly. "It's for you. Because you're a man-child."

Ichigo froze, for a good minute, before he literally exploded.

"Seriously, Rukia? You actually went to a store, bought this, and put it in a box just so you could tell me I'm a man-child? Jesus Christ."

Rukia tried to open her mouth to add on to it but Ichigo stopped her. "You know what, I don't even want to hear what you're gonna say. I changed my mind, I'm gonna go take a shower."

And with that, he stormed out of the room.

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The water was hot, almost burning but Ichigo didn't care. At first, he entered the shower in an impulse of frustration, soaping every part of his body he could think on just to focus on something else. As the soap washed away and the water temperature decreased, he slowly relaxed, and realized he might've exaggerated a little.

He turned the water off, then got out of the tub, sighing as he passed his hand on the steam-covered mirror.

Had he exaggerated?

Ichigo decided to brush his teeth quickly, then got into his pyjama pants, and finally walked back in the hallway until he reached the door to his old room. He stared at it for a good minute, and sighed right before opening it.

The lights were completely off. He could see Rukia's small figure in the bed under the sheets, her back facing him.

He let out a breath and climbed in the bed next to her, though he made sure to turn his back to her as well. The silence was heavy in the room, and from the absence of steady breaths coming from Rukia's side, he could tell she wasn't asleep.

"I can't believe you actually bought this just to prank me," he said in a low voice. Really, anything to break the silence.

"Do you actually think I'd waste all this time and effort, you idiot?" her voice entered his ear as soon as he finished his sentence and startled him. She sounded even more pissed off than he'd been before his shower.

But then her voice turned soft as she spoke again. "I didn't."

Ichigo frowned in confusion at her change of tone, and at her words. "What?" he said.

"I bought it because…" he heard her sigh shakily.

"…I'm pregnant."

The room fell into silence. Ichigo stopped breathing, he literally did, and judging by the absence of sounds next to him, so had Rukia. He felt his heart stop beating, and after what felt like an eternity, he heard himself speak. "You- you're…what? You're…?"

Ichigo immediately sat up and turned around to face Rukia. She, on the other hand, remained in the same position.

"…Pregnant," she whispered, so low Ichigo almost didn't hear.

Ichigo couldn't feel anything. Not his legs, not his arms, not his face. Then unexpectedly, his heart beat picked up, until it was racing. He was about to get up from the bed and start pacing around when he heard Rukia sniffling.

He looked at her face to see a tear had escaped her eye.

Rukia Kuchiki never cried.

Or almost.

"Rukia, hey," Ichigo spoke softly, though his heart was still beating faster than ever. He touched her shoulder with one hand and to his surprise, she instantly sat up until she was straddling him and burying her face in the crook of his neck, hugging him at the same time.

He hugged her back and kissed the top of her head when he heard her sniffle again. "Rukia," he murmured. "You're going to be an incredible mother."

Rukia went silent for a second, then slowly raised her head to look at her husband. Two traces of tears were visible on her cheeks. "How can you know that?" she whispered in a small voice.

He smiled, a genuine, heart-squeezing smile. A smile they only ever gave to each other. "I just do, because no one knows you better than I do, Rukia Kuchiki."

She blinked away some tears, and smiled back, though a certain uncertainty remained. "Rukia Kuchiki Kurosaki," she corrected him.

Ichigo scoffed in a sudden burst of happiness. "Holy shit, you're really pregnant… We're going to have a child?" he said somewhere halfway between a question and a statement.

"Looks like it," Rukia answered, and now he could see the joy that had been hiding under that mask of fear.

He smiled a wide smile, then pressed his lips to hers, kissing her softly, then deeply, then slowly, again and again and again.

Then they stayed still, holding each other in the dark.

"I still can't believe it," Ichigo said quietly after a while.

"I still can't even believe it." Rukia answered.

"How long have you known?"

"A few weeks… I wanted to tell you, Ichigo, but I just wanted to really make sure first, and then once I was sure I just…didn't know how to tell you."

Ichigo nodded quietly, then scoffed loudly out of the blue.

"What?" Rukia asked him.

"And you decided to tell me like that."

Rukia laughed. "Shut up. I panicked and made up some weird excuse."

"Well, coming from you, I wouldn't have expected it any other way." She punched him in the shoulder, although weakly, as a lingering smile betrayed her relief.

"Idiot…" she whispered against his skin.

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Yeah, she might be crazy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

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A/N: Okay, this took an extremely unexpected turn, but after chapter 686, I think it was an absolute necessity.