This Awful Energy

Summary: It was simple: he was shrouded in darkness, and she in light. But when she discovers who she truly is, a new legacy is thrust upon her. Can Rey cope with the truth of her own past?

Author's Note: Hey all of my lovelies! Here I am with another update. This one doesn't have a whole lot of action in it, but it's super important. We get a hell of a lot of answers here.

Just as a note, a lot of the lore that's mentioned in this chapter – Marka Ragnos, the Disciples – are all based on the Knight of the Old Republic. While I did take a lot of the names and lore that will be discussed in later chapters, I also did take some creative liberties with who they are and who was involved. So, please, no pitchforks!

To all my American readers out there, have a happy Thanksgiving! To my non-American readers, have a happy old regular Thursday!

Chapter Eight: Aleane

I sense you are going down a much darker path. The words hung between them like an anchoring weight, tethering Rey to that very spot in the middle of the hanger bay. She was frozen once more, only this time not by the power of her enemy, but by the shock of his words. The smallest of hairs on the back of her neck stood at attention, and chills ran down her spine as she considered the implication of everything that Kylo Ren had just said to her. Over the last few days, Rey had done things that she certainly had never dreamed about before: she had used a Sith power on Luke Skywalker and she had almost killed a man.

This wasn't who Rey was.

Or is it? The thought slithered in her mind as she thought about the revelations of the last few days. She had used the same Force lightening in her childhood vision. Could that truly be who Rey was meant to be?

Rey shook the unwelcome thought out of her head.

"You do not know what you are talking about," Rey hissed as she took a step back from her opponent. She had to find a way out of this conversation, out of this destroyer once and for all. She eyed the nondescript transport vessel she had singled out as her escape pod, still contemplating if she would be able to make the escape she had been hoping for. But her captor was far too close for her to execute her plan, and the room was slowly filling up with storm troopers who had abandoned their search for an escapee.

His eyes followed hers to the transport vessel, seemingly predicting what her next move would be. The corners of his mouth twitched upward in a smirk and he cleared his throat, "You can leave if you want. I will make no moves to stop you, you have my word."

Rey was about to make a retort as to just how valuable his word actually was, but Kylo continued before she had the opportunity, "But don't you want to know who you are? What you are meant to do? I can help you with that."

Her eyes moved towards the small ship; her deliverance from this madness. But she found herself hesitating. There was no way that Kylo Ren could possibly know the details of everything that she had only just discovered herself: the truth of her parentage, his own parent's heinous involvement in the crime, and her abandonment on Jakku. But there was no doubt that the master of the Knights of Ren was more powerful than her, and had more resources at his disposal. She could use his help in getting all the answers about the childhood that had been so viciously stole away from her.

But she was not evil, nor was she a member of the First Order. She could not, even peripherally, be a party to an organization that destroyed half of the galaxy. She couldn't be that selfish, could she?

Rey shook her head, turning from Kylo Ren. Without another word, she began walking towards the small shuttle that would carry her far away from this ship. From Kylo Ren. From the uncomfortable truth that was their Force bond. Her slow gait transformed to a sprint across the hanger bay. When she reached her shuttle, she looked once again at the dark knight. True to his word, he made no move to try and stop her from leaving. He merely stood in place, watching her as she prepared to leave.

Using all of her upper body strength, Rey hoisted herself into the cockpit. She was so close to freedom from the shock of the last few days, the torture she was forced to endure, and the proximity to the First Order. She could almost taste it. With a flick of the switch, Rey ignited the ion engines of the small spacecraft and they roared to life underneath her. Turning her attention towards the sensor arrays and navigation system, she put in her coordinates for her intended destination: Moraband.

It would soon be as if this few day detour from her journey to Moraband had never happened.

But what would she do when she reached the planet? As the ships navigation systems mulled through its database to chart the quickest possible course, Rey's mind set out to make a definite plan. But she was struggling to picture just what she would do after her arrival.

There was no guarantee that she would find anything that she was looking for there. In all of her visions of Moraband, it had long been abandoned by any life forms. How could going there, with no knowledge of what she needed to find, help her? She would be on a wild bantha chase with no way to find the answers that she was desperately looking for.

Rey sighed, running her fingers through her brown locks. Could she really do this on her own?

I can help you with that. Kylo Ren's voice penetrated her mind, sending a chill radiating through her spine.

The ships navigation system beeped; the course for Moraband had been set. All she had to do was push the forward thrusters, and exit the destroyer, and she would be on her way. She had to act.

It was now or never.

She sighed heavily as she threw the door to the spacecraft open, and climbed out of the small ship. A feeling of defeat washed over her as she marched back to the place where she had left Kylo Ren standing. He was still there, watching her with interest from the distance. His face remained stoic, betraying neither surprise nor haughtiness as she made her way back to him. A small part of Rey had to wonder if he had always known that she would stay. It was a troubling though, if he could so easily predict her actions. But Rey pushed the uncomfortable thought from her mind; she did not want to think about that right now.

It was only when she stood in front of him, that she finally spoke, "You can help me find where I came from?"

Her words came out sharp and terse, but there was no mistaking the desperation in them. In response, Kylo nodded, "I can help you to find where you came from, and the source of your power."

He extended his gloved hand to Rey, who looked at it for a long moment. Accepting this – accepting him – would not only open up her to a world of resources that she could use, but also open herself up to an entire possibility of darkness. There was no denying it, and Rey knew the consequences well.

But Rey needed to know about her past. She needed to know why her beautiful mother deserved to die in such a horrid way at the hands of the Republic. She needed to know why she had to grow up alone and unloved on a desert planet.

Taking a deep breath, Rey reached out to the gloved hand and accepted it.

"I would like to introduce you to someone," Kylo Ren was curt in his words, as he and Rey paused in front of an entryway on the far side of the Retaliator. Despite his promise to help her, she found that he remained stoic and brusque. Perhaps it was for the best; she imagined this situation would be intolerable if her enemy was actually kind to her.

Rey eyed him skeptically, naturally still wary in regards to trusting her new found ally. She did not voice her doubts, but she did not have too.

Kylo, sensing her distrust, continued in a much gentler tone with his explanation, "Someone who I believe will help you find the answers that you are looking for. We pulled Elix Magister in for questioning a while ago, and he has remained here ever since. I believe he has information that will help you."

Rey sucked in a breath before nodding at him. She watched as he punched in an access code for the door, causing it to open before them. They stepped inside a small bare room with a steel bench for a bed, much like the holding cell Rey had been locked in previously. The man – Elix Magistar, huddled into a small mass, was in the corner. Rey could hear his breathing, rapid and panicked. As she watched him for the briefest of moments, she could feeling the anxiety radiating off of him and it was causing her own heartbeat to rise slightly.

Whoever this man was, he was absolutely terrified.

Without thinking much about it, Rey followed her first instinct to rush over and help the messy heap on the floor. Kneeling so that she was at his eye level, Rey reached out to touch his trembling shoulder, "Are you alright?"

Before she received a response, she shot a look over to Kylo and hissed through gritted teeth, "This man is shaking. What did you do to him?"

She huddled closer to the pathetic man, an attempt to calm him down. But Elix still shook uncontrollably and only burrowed his face deeper into his knees. He refused to look at Rey, and seemed to be hiding from Kylo Ren.

"We were looking for information," Kylo responded, the frankness in his tone was unsettling for Rey. She shuddered as she thought just what the poor man went through in the First Order's search for information; she knew just how painful the process could be. And she had been able to resist it. She could only imagine how much worse it would have been for someone else, someone less strong. "The information he shared with me would also be of use for you. To help you."

Rey knew she should have asked just how Kylo had procured the information from this man, and admonished him for causing what would no doubt be irreparable damage to this man. She should have been the bigger person. But when she heard that this man might be able to help her, she turned back to the shaking heap on the floor. She pitied the man, but the selfish feeling of wanting answers was just too strong for her to ignore. Gently, she put her hand on Elix's back, and asked as soothingly as possible, "What do you know?"

The man said nothing.

"Please," Rey begged, "I am looking for my family – for anyone who knows about them. Can you help me?"

"You can compel him to answer you," Kylo, from the corner of the tiny cell, offered. There was a mild deviance in his voice as her made the suggestion, "You can take the information from him, if you wish to. You know that you have that power."

"I don't wish to do anything of the sort." Rey shot him an icy glare before she turned back to the virtually catatonic man at her feet. She inhaled, attempting to sound as soothing as she possibly could, "I am not going to hurt you. I just want to know what you know, I just want to see if you can help me."

But Elix, if it were even possible, only huddled into himself more and gave a halfhearted whimper as a response. He refused to even look at her.

Rey felt her insides well up at the man's cowardly actions. She moved back from him, letting him fall to her feet. Her voice rose as her exasperation with the pathetic heap of a man in front of her had reached its limit. "Goddammit, what do you know? Tell me!"

She saw, out of the corner of her eye, Kylo raise his brow in surprise at her outburst. Rey had grown frustrated – angry – at the helpless man in front of her, and Kylo could easily sense it. Perhaps he was even glad for her.

The man at her feet must have sensed her anger too, because he finally looked up at Rey for the first time. His glossed over eyes widened at the sight of her, and his mouth dropped to reveal yellow and rotted teeth that strongly reeked of Corellian brandy. "Aleane?"

Rey's brow furrowed at the man's question. She was unsure of what he could possibly mean. But he repeated the word again, "Aleane?" It rolled of his tongue gently, as if he were cherishing the opportunity to say the word one more time.

Rey looked up at Kylo Ren, hoping that he would have some kind of guidance or answers for her unspoken question. But he was staring intently at the prisoner in Rey's arms; he had no more answers than she did at the moment. Rey turned back to the raggedy man, her tone softening as she addressed him once more, "My name is Rey. I was hoping that you could help me."

For a moment, the man looked crestfallen that she was not who he thought she was. But he seemed to recover quickly. Elix looked at her, his hand reaching out slightly as if he were about to stroke her cheek, "You look so much like Aleane. You have her eyes."

"Aleane," Rey let the word roll off her tongue, hoping that it would sound familiar if it were coming out of her own mouth. But it was just as foreign to her then as it was when she had first heard the man say it. "Aleane? Is that my mother's name?"

"You have her eyes," The drunkard repeated, all byt confirming Rey's suspicions.

Rey sighed, letting out a breath she had not known she had been holding since she first heard the name Aleane. A weight that she had carried with her since she was left on Jakku, seemed to lift off of her shoulders. This was what she had been waiting for her entire life. She looked back at Elix, "Who was she? What did she do? "

"She was going to bring the correct order back to galaxy."

It was a cryptic answer, to say the least. But Rey didn't dwell too much on his response. There was only one real question that she cared about; that she had to have answered immediately. Her mind replayed the vision that she had, of the brutal murder of her mother and Rey's dark response to it. She had to know why.

"Why did the Republic kill her?" Rey's eyes watered as she choked out the question, the vision replaying over and over again in her head. Kylo Ren's head snapped in her direction at the new revelation. His eyes seemed to soften as he looked at her, and she could feel a wash of sympathy radiating from the knight. But at the moment, Rey could not be bothered to care. She needed to know what undoubtedly noble cause was worth killing a young mother, and leaving an innocent child to a life of solitude and suffering.

"Because of you," He blinked up at her, his voice filled with regret. "You were the one with the power, the one destined to bring back the true order to the galaxy. The only one with the power to resurrect Marka Ragnos. And they feared it."

"Marka Ragnos?" Rey's brow furrowed as she heard the name. Perhaps the drunkard's words were true after all; she recognized the strange sounding name from the visions she had back on Ahch-To. She had not known what it had meant then, and she did not think then that it could have been someone important to her. In truth, she had forgotten the name until it had been spoken in front of her. Luke had never mentioned such a person to her in all of the time that she was his student. Could he have even known who this person was? If he had, would he have let Rey know that she had the power to bring him back to life? "I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Marka Ragnos was one of the Sith." Kylo Ren explained, and Rey startled when he began speaking. For a brief moment, she had forgotten that he was in the cell with her. She turned to him as he continued, "He had been one of the most powerful Sith in millennia, bringing about a golden age for them. It's been said that he could do things that no one else knew how, like creating life where there once was none and even raising the dead."

Rey inhaled sharply at his words, "And this is all true?"

Kylo Ren raised his shoulders, "Marka Ragnos lived millennia ago, there is no way to know for sure. All I can say is that these legends have all survived that time."

"It is true." The man on the floor cried out. Rey turned her attention back towards Elix, "It's more than just legends and myths. The leaders of the Disciples of Ragnos had found a way to bring him back. We just needed to find the right person to do it. And that was when Aleane fell pregnant." His voice sounded wistful and sad at the mention of the memory.

When Aleane fell pregnant with me, Rey thought as she chewed the inside of her cheek. All of this was far too surreal for her to comprehend. If her mother was the member of some Sith cult, then what about her father? Who was he?

"Fell pregnant by whom?" Kylo's deep voice rang out from behind her, voicing the question that Rey had just formed in her head. Something in his voice was troubling – he seemed almost too eager to find out the answer to the question. It unsettled her but Rey pushed her unease out of her mind; she had far more pressing questions that needed her attention first.

"Marka Ragnos," The man replied, his voice filled with awe. "He can create life where there was none before it."

Rey took a step back from the man on the floor, her face contorting in disgust. This was absolutely insane; there was no way that any of this information could possibly be true. But Elix Magistar continued, "Aleane became pregnant as soon as we discovered how to resurrect him, and both she and her brother Varj could sense that baby's – your - power. Only someone that strong could be the one to bring Marka Ragnos back; it was meant to be."

"This is insane," Rey shook her head in disbelief.

"When you bring him back," He continued, "You will sit has his right hand, ruling over the galaxy as father and daughter."

His words made Rey shiver uncomfortably.

"Why would I want to do such a thing?" She scoffed; the idea truly was absurd. It was true that she desperately longed for adventure her entire life, but she had no desire to rule over the whole galaxy. Especially with a Sith lord, even if people believed that the Sith lord was responsible for her very existence.

"If there was one thing in the world I ever wanted, it was Aleane." The wistful look in Elix Magistar's eyes returned, "I should have protected her from those people that hunted us. I should have saved her life, but I was a coward and I ran away. It's too late for me, there is nothing that I can do for her. But you can still do something."

Rey raised her brows, "Me? What can I do?"

"Marka Ragnos had untold power. He created life, he created you. But he can also bring back Aleane," His eyes grew wide as he thought of what might have been, what still could be. "We all had reasons for joining the Disciples, something that we wanted when Marka Ragnos would undoubtedly reward us for our loyalty to his cause. Aleane was my reason – I suspect she will be yours too."

When Rey finally left Elix Magistar in the small cell, the goose pricks on her arms were still there. It was difficult for her to wrap her mind around the drunken man's insane story. But somewhere, deep inside of her gut, she knew that he was telling the truth. He had not lied to her, she could sense that. And she was grateful for the information. She only left him after guaranteeing from Kylo Ren that Magistar would have a better cell, and she demanded more humane treatment for him. Kylo acquiesced on her demands readily, and Rey was surprised that she did not have to fighter harder for that.

Perhaps Kylo had pitied her after her discovery, and that made him more amiable to her demands.

As he walked from Elix Magistar's cell with her, he regarded her carefully. His next words surprised Rey, "I am sorry about your mother. I did not know the Republic had killed her."

Rey bristled at the comment.

"Your parents were there," Rey sighed, feeling the words pour out from her unguarded. She was unsure as to why she was telling this to him of all people. But she needed to tell someone after holding it all in for so long. And he was the only one there for her in the moment, "It comes back to me, sometimes, in fragments. Your parents were with the landing party that murdered her, and they were going to do the same to me. When I was meditating, those memories came back."

"Rey, I –"

But Rey did not let him continue his thought.

"They were the ones who took away my memories," She could feel the anger pouring out of her as she walked down the corridor. She knew that Kylo could feel it too. But she didn't care to be guarded in the moment, and she made no attempt to hide her contempt. She just wanted someone to know, for someone else to share in her rage, "Luke taught your mother how to do a memory rub, and they stole my memories away from me. Leia Organa was the reason I ended up waiting on Jakku for years for nothing."

Kylo Ren paused his gait and turned to look at her. He grabbed her shoulders, anchoring both her and her rage down. "I did not know -."

"Your mother – your father –" Rey was shaking under Kylo's touch.

"I know what kind of people they were," He said softly. His eyes met hers, and they were filled with an unexpected understanding, "I think you have every reason to hate them just as much as I do – if not more."

You are right. It is okay to hate them. His voice echoed into the deep crevices of her mind.

It was as if yet another weight had been lifted off of her shoulders as his words washed over her. She didn't realize that she needed it, but the validation of her feelings was something that soothed her. She had been told the code of the Jedi did not include emotions, only inner peace. She had been told to suppress her emotions. And she had tried to do as she was told. But that only left her feeling more alone, more volatile.

Being told that her anger was okay, understandable even, was just what she needed.

Rey found herself calming down, as she stood in the middle of the corridor with Kylo. He held on to her, and Rey felt an unexpected surge of strength well up deep inside of her at his touch. Breathing out through her nose, her rage began to subside. It did not disappear entirely, but was replaced by an eerie and powerful calm. She looked up to Kylo, and whispered softly, "Thank you."

For the briefest of moments, his lips curled up in the smallest of smiles. But just as quickly as it appeared, it vanished. Rey could not say that she was shocked; this was Kylo Ren after all. One moment of understanding did not erase their past history.

He stiffened slightly as he dropped his hands from her shoulders. "If you want to find more of the Disciples of Ragnos, to find out anything else – we have compiled a list of known survivors."

"The First Order knows of the Disciples?" Rey questioned.

"Of course," He scoffed as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "We have kept tabs on any and all organizations within the galaxy. Both active and dormant factions."

"Why?" She asked, wondering just how long he had known about the Disciples.

"The very same reason the First Order exists in the first place." He explained, and he began walking once more. "To maintain order in the galaxy. There is a whole intelligence division dedicated to finding and watching different groups or organizations. We cannot have any more resistance groups forming. Most, however, are benign and allowed to exist."

"So you know where they are?" Rey asked incredulously as she managed to keep pace with his gait. She began to feel a nervous excitement bubbling inside of her where just a few moments her undeniable rage had been.

"The Disciples have long since scattered. Our intelligence suggests that survivors have deliberately disseminated across the galaxy to remain hidden from the remnants of the New Republic," Kylo explained, "But Supreme Leader Snoke has always been curious about them and their goal. We have done our best to track the remaining ones down."

Rey bit her bottom lip, wondering if she should say anything to that. She was curious to know just why the First Order had such an intense interest in this particular faction. But before she could even open her mouth, Kylo looked at her once more, "Why? Are you considering finding them all?"

His words were not accusatory nor skeptical, but rather curious. She felt the heat of his gaze upon her, and she shifted underneath it. Rey bit her lip, unsure of how to answer his question. But before she could even consider her answer, Kylo Ren began again, "When you do find them, what will you do? Will you join them?"

Rey inhaled; if she was being perfectly honest with herself, she had not planned that far ahead. All she wanted to do was to find people who knew her mother, people who would have been her neighbors, her friends, her extended family. But Elix Magistar's words stayed with her, echoing in her mind as she considered the question.

"We all had reasons for joining the Disciples, something that we wanted when Marka Ragnos would undoubtedly reward us for our loyalty to his cause. Aleane was my reason – I suspect she will be yours too."

Rey sighed, looking at the man in front of her. The leader of the Knights of Ren had a hard exterior, and his stoic face betrayed no hint of emotion. But she could feel his compassion – his compassion for her - coiling around inside of him. There was some part of him that worried for her.

Rey did not know how to feel about that. On one hand, she could still so vividly picture the villain she had faced on Takodana. But it felt good to have someone worry about her. She took a deep breath, "I don't know what I am going to do when I find them. All I know is that I have to try."

Author's Note: Well, there it is. I really do like this chapter, for a lot of different reasons. Maybe because it was by far the easiest one for me to write so far, I'm not sure. But, either way, I would love to know what you think about it – so drop a review!