anonymous prompted: Batfam plays bad reporting bingo the day after the latest Wayne fundraiser. (Bonus: Clark, Lois, Iris, or Linda, ect. overhear the exchange.)

I have a huge soft spot for the DCU reporters, believe it or not. I didn't keep completely to prompt – wasn't creative enough to figure out how to make it a Bingo game – but here's the best I got! Sorry for the wait!

Batman and related properties © DC Comics
story © RenaRoo

Chase You Down Until You Love Me

Bruce, no matter how hard he tries, is really only full of hollow threats at the end of the day when it comes to his children and behaving among the Gotham social elite.

"It'd benefit everyone if you sat down, behaved, and didn't try to make a scene," Bruce says, eyes concentrating on Jason, Tim, and Damian for the moment. He's a little tired of how easily they brush off his concerns.

He supposes that at least Tim has the decency to feign surprise at the extra attention. But it doesn't stop him from rocking on his heels.

Damian and Jason just give Bruce equally dissatisfied glares back.

Cass is still looking in the mirror, tossing her head back and forth with no mind at all to Bruce's words, and that's worthy of a headache and a half in and of itself. He caught on a while ago that she knows perfectly that her ignoring him is aggravating.

To Bruce's side, Dick is amusing Helena by popping up his knee. She's giggling in pure delight.

"How about we make a game out of it?" Dick says thoughtfully as Helena keens. "Everyone wants a picture of the newest addition to the family, there's going to be a million reporters hanging about, how about we do our best to photo bomb every time they try to sneak a picture of Helena?"

"Absolutely not," Bruce says, rounding on his eldest with complete betrayal. "Did you even hear what I said?"

Dick smiles toothily as the others perk up and hone in on the suggestion.

"And interrupt every interview with questions," Jason adds.

"The more creative the more points," Tim decides.

"Then we have to work in pairs so no one cheats," Damian inserts with a meaningful look at Tim.

"Oh… fun," Cass says with a look in her eyes.

Bruce looks at all of them. "I am not fond of you removing me from the conversation while I'm still here."

"You should probably stop forcing fundraisers on us then," Dick shoots back with a glint in his eyes, standing up and twirling Helena around.

She couldn't be happier.

Jimmy Olsen's camera flash might be the most obnoxious light on the planet. It's really only a service to his little sister that Jason makes sure the back of his head is right where his littlest sister should be on the film.

"Drats," Jimmy says as he looks down at the camera. By this point, Helena and the elusive Bruce Wayne are out of range.

Jason smirks and waves a glass in Jimmy's direction. "Sorry about that, Jimmers!"

The Metropolis reporter huffs and straightens up. "It's James!" he snaps just as "Jimmy!" is called by a familiar voice across the way.

He sighs and moves on. Jason smirks at his first point. Dick whistles from his nearby seat.

Lois has seemed to have lost her usual dance partner as Cass blinks owlishly at her. The red-headed Jimmy is soon by her side though.

The pen in Lois' hand snaps a few times.

"Miss Cain," Lois says, snapping for Jimmy to get a picture. "Is it true you're making an attempt to change your name to Wayne? Will that be Cain-Wayne? Cassandra Cain Wayne? Just Wayne?"

"Nice dress," Jimmy manages only to get a rueful look from his mentor. He shrugs. "Is it a designer?"

Lois gives a slight nod to her protege before looking expectantly at Cass again.

Cassandra smiles softly before waving her hand flippantly. "Is your dress… designer?"

The two blink at her. Jimmy looks to Lois. "I think she means you, Boss."

"No, it's not," Lois says with a smirk. "Don't suppose you have a comment on the name change?"

"Is it… really sunny? In Metropolis?" Cass asks.

"Not today," Lois replies, she's smiling. Almost knowingly now. "Well, thank you for your time, Miss Wayne. I hope you enjoy the night. Come on, Jimmy."

"Huh? What just happened?" Jimmy asks, though he keeps in step.

Tim comes back from the drink table and offers the disgruntled Cass a cup. "Tough break, Cass. Lois has been dealing with Wayne shenanigans longer than anybody, though." He smirks. "No points."

Linda Park-West narrows her eyes and taps her foot as her cameraman adjusts the lens.

Dick practically keens in delight.

"Did Wally put you up to this or are you acting like a complete goof just to mess with me? I have to know before I kill my husband," she demands in a hushed whisper.

"Linda, I'm godfather to your children, you know me better than that," Dick says with a smirk. "I'm doing this completely for myself." He then nods to Damian lurking nearby. "And possibly to show up my siblings. Like the old pro I am."

She rolls her eyes. "Alright, Grayson. Whatever. Let's do this again."

As if on cue, her cameraman lifts his camera and gives her the thumbs up. Linda smiles brilliantly.

"We're back with Gotham's most eligible bachelor, Dick Grayson, son of Bruce Wayne and brother to the newest Wayne heir, Helena Wayne." Linda turns back to Dick, her eyes lit with fire despite her pleasant smile. "Dick, do you have any fun stories about the public's favorite baby?"

Dick grins and leans in. "I have a question myself, Linda!"

"Oh, my. This is unexpected," Linda says tightly.

"Yes, would you happen to know where I got that title of most eligible bachelor?" he asks with feigned curiosity. "I'd hate to disappoint some hopeful suitors out there."

Linda's eyes widen. "Are… you saying you have a significant other, Dick?"

Dick smiles at the talk show host just before he pulls the bait right from her grasp. "I don't know, am I?"

Jack Ryder's lucky his face isn't being fed to several strays across the city at the moment. But he keeps smiling in ignorant splendor.

It's only Cassandra's hand that is keeping Damian from lunging at this point.

"I'm only asking where are all the other Mrs. Waynes if this Miss Kyle is the first to come forward," Jack says smugly. "Do you mean to say you don't know?"

Damian snarls as Cass' grip tightens on his shoulder. "Tt. I don't know Mr. Ryder. How do you feel about all the boot kissing you receive from the lesser men who, unlike my father, don't feed into your usual scandal tactics?" He narrows his eyes as Jack's smile drops slightly. "That is why you are harassing a preteen rather than addressing my father with these questions, is it not? He too strong willed for you?"

Jack Ryder straightens up and straightens his collar without comment.

"Advice for the future, Ryder," Damian continues, "I am just as strong willed as my father and my mother. Try your games elsewhere. But not with my family."

Cass leans in and whispers as the reporter disappears into the crowd, "I give you all my points, Littlest Brother."

Vicki Vale and Tim Drake do not have the greatest history to begin with.

"How are the crutches, Mr. Drake-Wayne?" she asks with a scrupulous look to his crutches.

Tim turns, all smiles. "How are the funny papers, Miss Vale? I liked your last piece with the Man-Bat caricature in the column."

She drops her smirk and straightens. "I didn't ask for that image to be run alongside my report."

Somewhere behind him, Tim can hear Jason snickering and snorting around his hand. They may or may not have paid the cartoonist for that one.

Bruce bounces Helena on his knee, barely looking up as the familiar form of Clark Kent takes a seat at the same table.

"Long day, Kent?" Bruce asks.

"About to be longer," Clark laughs. "You won't have to deal with my wife tonight after the third degree from your kids."

Helena bats at Bruce's face and he turns to smirk at his oldest friend. "We Waynes have to make sure that the Daily Planet investment was worth the extra mile I took to buy it from LexCorp. That includes testing the diligence of the star reporters on the payroll."

Clark smiles, giving Helena his finger when she reaches for him. "Who would have thought you'd make such a pretty little girl," he diverts the conversation. He lets Helena shake his finger back and forth excitedly. "I suppose she gets those looks and charms from Selina, though, right?"

"So I keep hearing," Bruce responds, looking fondly to his girl.

"Where is Selina tonight anyway?" Clark asks.

"Smooth," Bruce mutters before slowly looking Clark in the eyes. His eyes shine with inspiration. "How're all those vacations to Kansas doing you lately, Mr. Kent? Must be hard reporting on Superman when all those sick days line up with his mass appearances."

Clark sighs and raises his hands up in defeat. "Okay, okay. Point made," he laughs.