I Wouldn't Leave If You Let Me

Summary: Sometimes, Jacob could be a little impulsive, grabbing her arm, shaking her, yelling, and, when the anger got to be too much to contain, Jacob liked to throw things, so Bella wasn't afraid. Because Jacob would never hurt her.

"Your abusive partner doesn't have a problem with anger; he has a problem with your anger.
One of the basic human rights he takes away from you is the right to be angry with him. No matter how badly he treats you, he believes that your voice shouldn't rise and your blood shouldn't boil. The privilege of rage is reserved for him alone. When your anger does jump out of you—as will happen to any abused woman from time to time—he is likely to try to jam it back down your throat as quickly as he can. Then he uses your anger against you to prove what an irrational person you are. Abuse can make you feel straitjacketed. You may develop physical or emotional reactions to swallowing your anger, such as depression, nightmares, emotional numbing, or eating and sleeping problems, which your partner may use as an excuse to belittle you further or make you feel crazy."

― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

"You're just like everyone else. Everyone I love leaves me. My dad, my sisters, my mom," his voice breaks, "But you... I can't lose you too, I just can't."

"I don't know what to say to make this better," Bella admitted, and Jacob's eyes darkened.

"You could stay," Jacob said, reaching out and cupping her cheek.

Bella couldn't help but lean into his touch. He's warm and his hands make her feel loved. She just wishes he could always be this gentle.

She wishes she could stay, but the memory of the times his hands weren't so gentle hovers over the forefront of her mind.

"I-" Bella hesitates, "I-"

"You love me," Jacob finishes for her and Bella shakes her head.

"I do love you," she says, and Jacob's hands slips down to her neck. "But I can't stay. I have to-"

"Does Edward make your heart race like I do?" Jacob asks, and Bella closes her eyes, "Does Edward make you feel like this?"

Her eyes open and she looks up at him.

"Edward has no part in my decision," Bella says and Jacob's jaw clenches.

His fist goes through the wall inches from her face.

"I love you!" he growls, and Bella takes the chance to try to get away.

"This is getting us nowhere," she says, and Jacob grabs her arm, tightly.

"Where are you going?" he asks, and Bella tries to pull her arm back.

"I can't talk to you right now," she says, and Jacob's face twist into a bitter mask.

"When a man's face contorts in bitterness and hatred, he looks a little insane. When his mood changes from elated to assaultive in the time it takes to turn around, his mental stability seems open to question. When he accuses his partner of plotting to harm him, he seems paranoid. It is no wonder that the partner of an abusive man would come to suspect that he was mentally ill."

― Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men