Lily blinked a few times to keep her tears at bay. The picture placed underneath the headline wasn't too graphic, likely in case an unsuspecting child picked up the paper. The writing, however, black on white, painted her worst nightmare nonetheless.

MUGGLE FAMILY OF FIVE SUFFERS PUBLIC HANGING IN DARBY – MINISTRY OF MAGIC SUSPECTS DEATH EATERS

The head girl raised her head and gazed down the Gryffindor table. Through a veil of tears, she saw that most of her housemates were silenced by shock, sorrow and fear at this morning's news story. Only a few scattered students murmured to each other in disgust as they looked over the shoulder of someone who had a Daily Prophet subscription. She couldn't believe it. Darby was only a 45 minute drive away from her parents' house, she selfishly thought. How relieved she was to know that it wasn't them in the picture. How horrible to know that it was anyone at all. Lily couldn't make herself swallow a single bite of toast.

For the remainder of that Friday morning, Lily tried her best to keep herself composed to appear strong for the younger muggle-born students, who looked up at her in fright as they spotted her in the hallways between classes. But, whom was she kidding? All of them were completely powerless against the ensuing war. She knew that she was, anyway. Her chest felt as if encapsulated in an iron lung. She walked the halls like a ghost, dead inside, but too weak to let go. Classes were miserable too; she couldn't concentrate at all and even missed the opportunity to win Gryffindor a few precious house points when Professor McGonagall asked her the difference between animagi and strong transformational hexes. But who the hell could even think of house points anymore? None of this petty crap mattered if the Dark Lord would come to power.

These were the worrying thoughts running through Lily's head as she headed down to the Great Hall for supper with a heavy heart. She was going to try and eat something before going on rounds tonight. As she unenthusiastically chewed on plain potatoes, her rounds-partner Kendrick came over from the Hufflepuff table to cancel on her because of a sudden and severe headache. Lily barely looked up at him as he told her his excuse, but nodded curtly and mumbled something about her understanding. She would just have to go the route alone tonight.

Later in the night, as Lily made her way through the darkened castle, her forehead grew into a deep frown at an unwelcome thought. It had visited her on and off for the past weeks, and even though she tried her best, it couldn't seem to be shaken.

Would anyone really miss her if the unthinkable happened to her?

The head girl shook her head to try and forget what had crept into her mind so many times. She knew it did not do her any favours to dwell on it for too long. Still, when her patrol passed the corridor on the fourth floor and the familiar excited chatter that she used to be so caught up in seeped past the Fat Lady and into the moonlit hallway, Lily couldn't help but feel completely alone. She missed that Gryffindor tower and everyone it held so much it hurt.

Maybe it's better this way. Then it won't be too hard on anyone, if something does happen.

Lily lifted her lit wand up to see further along the black corridor. Maybe the loneliness had her going insane, but she could've sworn that she heard other noises mixing in with those from the Gryffindor common room. They came from a broom closet a mere few steps away. Lily scrunched her nose in distaste and closed the gap.

"Alohomora!"

The creaking door swung open and out stumbled –

"Kendrik? Dori?" Lily was startled at the sight of mixed limbs.

The couple quickly scrambled to get in an upright position in front of the head girl, who turned pink.

"Erm, sorry!" Lily apologised awkwardly, and quickly turned away to avoid witnessing anything she would regret later. So much for Kendrick not feeling well.

"No! Lily," Dorcas sniffed, and the redhead was surprised to hear her former friend speak so tenderly.

Lily turned around and realised that the red spots covering Dori's face were not tokens of Kendrick's affection, but from what seemed to be distress. Had she been crying? Snot and runny mascara covered the blonde Gryffindor's pale face.

"Dorcas!" Lily gasped in shock and immediately turned and rounded on Kendrick, "Did he do something?"

"What?" Kendrick coughed, "NO! I was just – we were duelling, and then suddenly she was crying, so I brought her out here and – and she hasn't stopped since!"

Dorcas stormed forward and into Lily's arms. The head girl gingerly put her arms around Dorcas and affectionately patted her blonde locks out of her round face.

"Duelling?" Lily challenged the boy in front of them over Dorcas's shoulder, not taking her watchful frown off him for a second.

"Not in that way, I swear!" the lean Hufflepuff defended himself vocally, "Just as part of the Order, of course. I really don't know what has gotten into her, to be honest!"

Order?

Dorcas wailed loudly into the silent corridor and Lily tried to shush her with soothing strokes down her back.

"Erm," Lily offered, still holding her friend tightly and not certain what to think of the boy in front of her. She would have to deal with him later, she supposed.

"Alright, Kendrick. I'll take it from here. Just head to your dormitory now, please."

"Are you sure?" he inquired, as if he was of any use to anyone right now.

"What the hell do I know?" Lily spat back, annoyed with his unhelpful presence with the wailing Dorcas in her arms.

Kendrick seemed to take this as a satisfactory assurance, gave Dorcas another squeeze on the shoulder and turned to walk back to the Hufflepuff quarters quite speedily. Lily rolled her eyes. These tall burly blokes always turned out to be the least brave when it came to female snot.

After a few more minutes of silent whimpering, Dorcas finally calmed down a bit.

"What in the name of Merlin's left shoelace is going on, Dori?" Lily mumbled into the yellow curls between soft sobs.

"Hmpf," Dorcas responded and shuttered, "I'm just being a baby, that's all."

Lily smiled into the darkness, "Care to elaborate, you big baby?"

Dorcas chuckled a little into her friend's uniform, before both girls finally managed to disentangle themselves from their tight embrace.

"Come on," Lily took Dorcas' hand in hers, "Walk with me a bit."

The curly-haired Gryffindor sniffed one last time and used the back of her right hand to wipe the remaining tears off her face. Lily noticed that the usually pop pink nail polish was left in a crumble.

"It's just…," Dorcas trailed off, absentmindedly twirling her locks for comfort as they turned a corner, "With everything that's been going on, with Elise and- and this morning in the paper-"

Tears welled up in Dori's eyes, and Lily immediately felt her own tear ducts work at full speed.

"I'm just so worried all the time, you know?" Dorcas mumbled into the silence that was filled only by their voices and echoing steps, "About my dad, Carol and Richie, and- and even Biffy-"

She cut off, as her quivering voice failed her.

Lily responded with a limp smile.

"Ah, I'm sure old Biffy will know exactly how to defend himself against that slimy Death Eater bunch," she joked in an effort to cheer up her friend.

"Oh, you know what I mean!" Dorcas sniffed back.

Lily frowned.

"Oh, don't I?" she quietly responded, quite hurt at the implied accusation of being insensitive, and Dorcas' gaze instantly filled with regret as she noticed her error.

"Oh, I'm such a git! I didn't mean it that way, Lily," she quickly apologised, biting her lip; "You know that, don't you? You've got it even worse than me - y-you must be so terrified all the time!"

"Yup," Lily sighed heavily and crossed her arms in front of her chest as she leaned against one of the cool stone walls of the castle, "All the friggin time, if I'm being honest. The only way I keep from just breaking down crying every day is if I stop thinking about it. And I can't not think about it, you know? So there you go. I'm a complete mess."

Dorcas hugged her friend tightly in response.

"None of them get it," the blonde Gryffindor sighed into Lily's auburn mane, "Marlene, Sirius, J-"

Dorcas' voice faltered at the tentative name.

But Lily's frown gave way to a small smile, "How could they, Dori? You can't be angry with them for not having loved ones in danger, for not being in danger themselves."

Dorcas nodded absentmindedly and brushed a curl out of her eyes, "I know you're right. I do. I just-"

The Gryffindor had trouble finding the right words and pulled at her jumper uncomfortably before she could spit it out.

"I just miss you." Their eyes met. Lily had trouble holding her anger as the blue spotlights begged her to soften.

"Same here," Lily finally muttered, as Dorcas knew full well that it hadn't been Lily who had broken their friendship apart. Not intentionally anyway.

"You know," Dorcas tucked an astray curl behind her ear, "I was completely okay all day, even after that horrible article this morning. I just pushed that all the way to the back of my head. But just now at the Order, you know, practicing stupid Expelliarmus with Kendrick, it just hit me! I can practice disarming someone all I want, but it's going to be effing worthless out in the real world. If You Know Who decides to kill my family, I can perfect all the charms I want and it's going to do no good at all! We're nothing against them. Especially holed up in this castle! Anyway, so I just had to get out of there, and Kendrick followed-"

"Erm," Lily interrupted her friend and swallowed, trying to remain calm as her heart leapt, "Dori?"

"Yes?"

"You just-" Lily felt tiny red spots shoot up across her cheeks, "And Kendrick, earlier-"

"What is it, love?"

"The Order?"

"Well, ye-," Dorcas' eyes grew wide and she gasped and quickly shook her head energetically to hide the fact that she couldn't lie to save her life, "NO! Nuh-uh, I mean no, Lily. I was just blabbering, you know how I get, don't listen to me-"

But Lily welcomed the distraction, turned on her heal and stormed off to into the direction of her old common room, Dorcas calling after her to halt. As she whipped around the corner and back into the hallway of the entrance to the Gryffindor Tower, the culprit was already jogging towards her.

"Evans!" Potter yelled warningly at her. Lily furrowed her brows and halted.

"Potter," she growled back. How the hell did he know that she was on her way beat him to pulp?

"Listen, err-" he started, the uncertainty in his voice hinting at his fear of Lily's wrath, "I was meaning to speak with you?"

"Oh?" Lily's eyes narrowed, and she heard Dorcas skidding to a halt behind her, "Now you want to talk to me?"

Dorcas piped up behind her, "Lily, I didn't-"

"Go to your dorm, Dori," Lily hissed, "It's past bedtime."

"I should go, too" James noticed, and made to turn on his heel and follow Dorcas through the portrait hole.

"Not so fast, Potter," Lily growled and he turned back to face her slowly, as if forced through magic.

Lily felt the anger at Potter's stupid, always-a-hint-of-a-smirk face spread through her like fire.

"You."

"Listen, Evans," James backtracked in a serious tone, but the twitching around his mouth showed how little he actually cared, "How about we go back to our dorm, pop open a bottle of firewhiskey and I tell you all about how my dad is hurt, and all the feelings I've been having about it."

Lily's upper body shook with outrage. She fumed at his stupid glasses, which he had sloppily taped together after her outburst at the lake instead of magically fixing them, just to spite her.

"Using your father's attack to trick me into letting you off easy?" she spat at him, "Are you for real right now, Potter?"

"What?" James shrugged, "I'm feeling a burning desire for a heart to heart now, Evans. Naked, if must be."

"Fuck you, Potter," Lily spat back at him. How could she ever have even liked this spawn of evil?

The head boy turned around on his heel in satisfaction and climbed through the portrait hole. Lily went after him.

"If I hadn't found Dorcas on my patrol, I would have never even found out about this!" She roared at his infuriating backside.

"Well, wouldn't that have been an easy solution," James mumbled as he plopped himself down on one of the plush crimson sofas. The common room had speedily emptied upon their arrival and it was only she and Potter dipped in gold by the dying light of the fireplace.

"Have you ever considered that maybe Dorcas was in on it? She almost managed to distract you after all."

Lily's head spun out of focus for a second. Surely, Dorcas would never do such a thing to her? Could she? Lily couldn't think about that now. It was her duty to make sure that the only way Potter ever left the common room was on a stretcher on his way past the Hospital Wing and directly to the morgue.

"Do you know in how much DANGER you are putting – EV-E-RY-ONE- in!?" Lily bellowed at him, throwing the next book in reach (Charms for Beginners – an old favourite) in the general direction of Potter's head.

James deterred the approaching object with a flick of his wand, "Why don't you just hide back in your hole, Evans? You don't want to fight the Dark Lord, that's fine. But please don't stop me while I'm at it."

"And what if someone else gets attacked?!" Lily shrieked into the deserted common room.

James groaned and rubbed his face with his hands, "Don't you bloody get it, Evans? Someone will be attacked."

Lily drew a sharp breath and her eyes grew wide, "W-what? What are you talking about?"

"Listen, Evans," James started as if speaking to a two-year old, "I know it's hard to get into that thick head of yours. But it's obvious. If the Order continues, someone will be attacked."

"Then why would you-"

"Listen to me, Evans," James interrupted her, "If I throw a bloody party, someone will be attacked."

"W-what?"

"If there's not another chord of music played in Hogwarts for the rest of this sodding school year," James started again, "Someone will still be attacked."

Lily was dumbfounded.

"But then why would you-"

"You saw the paper today!" James suddenly roared at her in frustration as he got up from the couch and strode to stand opposite her, "Muggle kids and their parents hung from a tree, for crying out loud! Aren't you fucking outraged yet, Evans!? Nothing that we do or don't do will matter to these bastards! All we can do is fight! All I can do is try to give all of the days I have left- Don't you get it!? Not doing something can't be the answer. And frankly, I can't believe you could stay passive-"

"I'm not!" Lily defended herself, "I'm keeping students safe, something you should be doing-"

"And I'm putting them in danger?! Fuck being safe, Evans, and fuck being cautious. I want to threaten the animals that hurt Elise, I want to be a danger to them!"

"Well you're not, if you're putting yourself and others at risk!"

"Watch me, Evans. Seriously, watch us, since that's all you seem to be good at. See if you like the view from your snug castle tower then."

"You had no right to- you, you deceived me!"

"Being a bit dramatic?"

"You have no idea about what you've done!"

"Well, just another day then, isn't it? Since I can't even begin to comprehend all the things you think I'm doing wrong. Quit getting your knickers in a twist, Evans. The Order has continued for the past three weeks without you knowing-"

"THREE weeks!?" Lily screeched in disbelief, throwing her long hair over her shoulder.

He was being so unfair, she was so angry with him, and herself, that all there was left for her to do was, well, blow a good Stinging Jinx at him. And so she did.

Cursing, James drew up his left hand and examined the reddened skin where the incantation had hit him.

"Did you just jinx me, Evans?" he asked incredulously, his eyebrows raised.

"Oh, apologies," Lily muttered and threw her hair over her shoulder for emphasis once again, "I know it must be difficult for you to deal with the unexpected when everyone always does as you say, Potter. Aguamenti!"

Three bucket-loads of water drenched James from head to toe, leaving him befuddled and gasping for air.

"You!" he roared, simultaneously angry but perplex at the spiralling redhead opposite him.

"Expelliarmus!" Lily shrieked, but this time James was ready. He blocked her spell with a silent flick of his wand.

"Avis!" Lily yelped breathlessly, and as soon as the aggressive flock of bright yellow birds burst from her wand, James lifted his wand to perform a row of complicated movements. He transfigured a nearby sofa cushion into a large golden cage, imprisoning the feathery beasts.

Lily didn't let loose. She hurled stinging curses, mean hexes and complicated jinxes at the head boy, and to her delight, he reciprocated. They were caught in a wild dance, ducking behind plush sofas and silently throwing incantations at one another. Their spells grew forceful as they went on. Lily charmed a stack of parchments to wrap James up like a gift, choking him a little as the parchments slapped on tighter around his neck. Slowly moving his wand arm (reminding Lily of an ancient mummy), James drew a giant halfmoon with his heavy arm, gurgling out a roar in the process.

The two cushiest, comfiest plush armchairs next to the glimmering fireplace grew to life. The transfiguration was slow, yet impactful. Lily's eyes widened and she saw her wand hand quiver as the two massive carnivores gave off ear shattering roars. James had produced two scary-ass real-as-fuck lions. Her mind was blank. She didn't know the proper incantation. It dawned on her then, the horrifying thought she had pushed away for a while, that school hadn't prepared her properly.

The animals drew closer and Lily threw everything she knew at them. Stunning and freezing spells bounced right off the prowling beasts.

"Impedimenta!" she shrieked, in the hopes of at least slowing them down, but instead it just angered the animals. The left one roared loudly, as the right one prepared to lunge at her. Lily's heart beat rapidly and she drew in a sharp breath, throwing a pleading glance at James who eyed her through the piling up parchment with – was that fierce look in his eyes hatred or anticipation?

"Think, Evans, think!" he gasped out from his choking bind. Lily thought how cute he looked all wrapped up, momentarily taking her back to that night in the prefect staff room.

The lion leapt.

"Expecto Patronum!" Lily bellowed. The strong doe leapt from her wand, smashing against the larger animal, and hurling it across the common room despite its disadvantage in size. Lily yelped up in triumph as she sent the badass doe towards the other monstrous lion with a flick of her wand. She was a superstar. In her glory, she high-fived James' tightly wrapped-up wand hand. He stared at the doe in confusion.

"MS. EVANS!" a stern voice suddenly snapped Lily out of her victorious jubilee. Lily realised that in her excitement she must have missed the creaking swing of the opening portrait hole, and thus the entrance of Professor McGonagall.

"Mr. Potter!?" the bespectacled professor asked incredulously at the still growing pile of parchment from which Potter's glasses peaked out. Both students lowered their wands, and both the doe and the lions disappeared. More to say, instead of two lions, two cushy armchairs were located at awkward places in the common room.

"Yes, professor?" James' muffled timber responded sincerely at the Professor's outcry, as if everything was all right in the world. Lily tried her best to contain herself, but a single giggle erupted from her chest. A stern glance from McGonagall halted any further articulation of joy. For some reason, hexing the hell out of James Potter had been the best time she had had in weeks. Judging from Potter's gleeful expression, he felt similarly.

"Both of you," McGonagall commented dryly, "With me, now."

Lily quickly withdrew the hex on Potter. After he patted the last remaining pieces of parchment off himself, they stepped out of the portrait hole after McGonagall, trying their best to don a guilty expression.

Their footsteps echoed in the dark, empty corridors. Lily caught James' eye once or twice in the light of the moon and Professor McGonagall's wand. She couldn't help but reciprocate the smirk that she thought she recognised sprawled across his chin. The mountain of parchment had done a cute number on his mop of hair too.

"I won," she silently mouthed at him behind McGonagall's back.

Now he was definitely grinning. He pointed at a hardly noticeable mark on his elbow, where his school shirt had ripped.

"Yeah, those paper cuts almost did me in," he whispered back and Lily snorted into her hair.

After they had passed a few more corridors in giggly silence, Lily was quite surprised to find McGonagall halt in front of Dumbeldore's office.

"Professor," the head girl immediately stuttered, pleading with her head of house, "I realise that we, erm, that I made a mistake in attacking Potter, but I don't see why we can't keep this as head of house business! I really don't see any need to bother the headmaster at this time of night with such-"

"My dear Ms. Evans," Professor McGonagall said in an anything but sweet tone, "When I find both head students duelling each other in the dead of night in a dormitory that isn't theirs, I believe there is every reason to bother the headmaster. But I thank you in your confidence in my position."

Lily bit her lip and turned bright red. Potter's face exuded pure joy at the staking of the straight-O-student. Lily shoved him in the side.

"Fizzing Fizzbees," McGonagall muttered, slightly annoyed. The gargoyle jumped aside hastily and the party of three made their way up to the winding staircase. After a single knock from McGonagall's bony hand, Albus Dumbledore himself bid them inside.

"Ah, Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans. Please, have a seat," he greeted them with a knowing smile from behind his desk, as if he had been expecting them at this hour all along, "Some would say that before attending an important hearing at the Wizengamot one would need a full night's sleep, but I personally like to jump at the chance of rebellion. We can sleep on the apparition there after all, isn't that right, Professor?"

Professor McGonagall's mouth twitched as she transfigured a potted plant into a third chair, and the three made to sit. Lily and James sat at either side of their head of house.

"Professor," McGonagall started her report, "Alerted by the Nearly-Headless Nick, I made to see what the ruckus in the Gryffindor Tower was. It quickly became clear that Mr. Potter and Ms. Evans were amidst a duelling match."

"A duel?" the headmaster inquired, his electric eyes alert as he twirled the end of his white beard around his left index finger.

Lily mourned the death of her education. She was going to be expelled. And it wasn't like she had always expected – that Potter was going to get her into some kind of trouble that she was never really a part of that got them both kicked out. Instead, it was going to be she who dragged him down with her.

"Precisely," McGonagall nodded, "From what I have witnessed, both students have attacked each other with an array of incantations, including a Leonidis spell, countered by a Patronus charm-"

"Marvellous!" Dumbledore gushed and McGonagall nodded curtly, "I would have never guessed the two spells to pair up! Quite ahead of your peers as always. Much like I was! But this isn't the time to toot my own horn, is it?"

"Err-," James put into words what Lily was thinking. Had someone swapped Halloween for April Fools?

"Mr. Potter, I was under the impression that the Order of the Phoenix had been cancelled?" Professor Dumbledore inquired, examining the head boy and girl intently down the bridge of his nose. All of the sudden, Lily was reminded of what James had done, why she had been so angry with him in the first place, and that he was putting himself in danger over and over again despite her best efforts.

"This," James explained and motioned to Lily sitting to McGonagall's left, "wasn't part of the Order. But yeah, we've kept it going."

"We have not!" Lily huffed and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Right, well, despite your best efforts, Evans, I've kept it going then."

"That is completely unacceptable!" Lily hissed haughtily, when neither the headmaster nor his deputy added to such avail, "You could've gotten yourself and others hurt, Potter, or killed!"

"Killed?" James countered, "By a few stammering fourth years trying out a summoning charm? Really, Evans, what would I do without your warnings? Probably just choke on toast and have it over with."

Dumbledore chuckled and Lily's mouth fell open.

"You're unbelievable," Lily spat back, but Dumbledore held up a narrow-fingered hand and she held her tongue.

"Thank you, Ms. Evans," the headmaster said kindly.

"He's throwing a party at the Three Broomsticks tomorrow night, for crying out loud!" Lily yelped in the hopes of a response from authority and James shot her a vicious look.

"Please, Ms. Evans," Dumbledore expressed patiently, "do leave the disciplining of Mr. Potter to me."

Lily nodded, relieved that someone besides her was going to get back into his or her right mind.

"I really wish we could make it, Mr. Potter, but I'm afraid Professor McGonagall and I are travelling to the Ministry at the crack of dawn. Duty always calls during the best parties, doesn't it? Now, moving on," Professor Dumbledore said delighted, and Lily's mouth fell open a bit. Discipline time was apparently over already? Wasn't anyone going to tell Potter that he was being a complete arse? She closed her eyes in annoyance, but quickly threw them open again as Dumbledore started to lay out his proposition.

James met Lily's flabbergasted expression for a brief moment before looking away at the stone gargoyle that resealed the entrance to Dumbledore's office in surprising elegance.

The head boy coughed quietly and dug his hands deep into his pockets.

Lily stared at him in disbelief.

"So...," James began, trailing off as he couldn't come up with anything good to say, "Hang tight, Evans."

When he turned around Lily caught his sleeve.

"Potter," she croaked. His eyebrows rose as he glanced over his shoulder.

"Yeah?"

"Dumbledore is batshit crazy."

James laughed and turned to face her, "Just figuring that out, Evans? Blimey, you are slower than I thought."

"He wants us to join the army," Lily insisted, wide-eyed and pale at the prospect.

"Well, I suppose you could say that," James offered and scratched his chin, "But he wants us to join the good side after all, right?"

"But-," Lily stammered her way through to him, "W-what the hell happened?"

"Well, if you ask me, our little stunt in the Gryffindor common room sufficed as an audition, Evans."

"No, I mean...," she trailed off, blinking.

"Yeah?"

"Nothing," Lily said quickly and James raised an eyebrow at her, "Really, it's nothing! I just meant- well, I meant - how the hell did we get here?"

"Err, try and be a bit more precise Lils? I suck at Occlumency."

"It's Legili- nevermind. I meant, you know, we were just kids a second ago!"

"Yeah," James nodded and responded her gaze, "I suppose we were, Evans. But I guess that's how things go when the world's at war. You grow up."

Lily dove deep into his hazel eyes as she came to realise more and more the man that he had become.

"James?"

"Huh?" He took an unconscious step away from her as he heard her say his first name.

"Do you think- well, do you –," she stumbled through the maze of words she was desperate to find and took a step forward to close the gap he had made, "do you want to come back to the head dorm with me?"

Lily could feel his eyes on her, just for a second, like they used to be.

He held his right hand to his chest as if to check if his pulse and his breathing were complying. He looked out the window, over to the Quidditch pitch where the sun was already rising and dipping Hogwarts grounds into a glowing, orange light, fitting for today's date.

"Evans," he finally groaned her name and sighed deeply, "I'll see you at the prefects meeting next week, yeah?"

The tone in his voice spoke sincere and Lily knew he wasn't saying anything to be mean. He was just being honest. Lily was envious of this trait. The head girl nodded and gave him a limp smile as he walked away in a slow stride. She smiled and smiled, even after the echo of his footsteps had faded, after the sun had almost come up completely behind the Forbidden Forrest, all in the hopes that it would cancel out the one treacherous tear slipping down her cheek. For some reason, an offering of peace between James and her made her feel sick to her stomach. She had gotten exactly what she wanted. Only now did she realise her mistake. She wanted everything.

Behind her, the gargoyle sprung into motion once again, likely to make way for Dumbledore and McGonagall heading to the Ministry of Magic. She quickly wiped her cheek and ducked behind a tapestry that she knew to hide a secret passage that led to the prefect's bathroom. As she walked the tight corridor, her elbows touching wall on either side, she could make out voices. They became louder and clearer as she approached through the darkness, and perhaps she was imagining things, but she thought she knew one of the voices quite well. She cast a dampening spell to muffle the echo of her footsteps. Now, she was only a few feet away of the hushed voices.

"We should act tonight."

"It's not ideal. Everyone will be at Potter's ridiculous gathering."

"That's precisely why it's ideal. The fourth-floor corridor will be clear so Malfoy can enter through the tunnel without anyone noticing."

"Listen to me, you moron. There will be no one for Malfoy to cruciate. Everyone will be either in Hogsmeade where we can't strike or in their dorm because they're tiny gnomes and their curfew is 7pm. The only ones' left not going to Potter's idiotic party will be Slytherins. D'you think the Dark Lord wants to off his future following to scare the muggle-loving half-breed pack?"

"Well then why don't we make that your task? You can organise some half-wit Gryffindor to torch for Malfoy. I hear you're quite advanced in matters of mind tricks after all. And whatever you asked of Evans has clearly had no effect. So why don't you make yourself useful."

"I've told you, she was under the impression everything was complied with! If she can't control Potter, then what do you expect me to do? Believe me, there's nothing I'd rather do than practice the Cruciatus Curse on that sad excuse for a pure blood prick all day long, but I'm also the first person Dumbledore will suspect. We need to play this right. Evans was a logical move. And anyway, what does it matter if the threat to her had effect? The Dark Lord was going to proceed with the attacks in any case, once we were certain nothing would be traced back to us."

"It matters that if it were up to me, I would have crossed you off the Dark Lord's recruiting list a long time ago."

"Well then I suppose it's a good thing that nothing at all is up to you, isn't it?"

Lily's heart pounded in her chest. When their footsteps finally faded, she dashed out and down to the Great Hall.

Sirius was the first of the munching Marauders to see her red face pop up.

"Hey Evans, get in line somewhere else. We're not selling tickets, alright?"

James raised his eyebrows at her as she held her side and mused, "Even though I'm sure that that would've been quite lucrative, Pads. Why do you always come up with the best ideas one breakfast too late?"

The head boy gave her an encouraging smile and she tried her best to grin back as if everything was just dandy, even though she had other things on her mind right now than investing in her budding friendship with James Potter.

"Just say the word, Prongsie, and I'll make it a galleon a pop for one minute of-"

"REMUS," Lily interrupted Black, and the Prefect turned around to her wheezing self, quite surprised to see her in this dishevelled state and even more surprised that Prongs had just formed a normal sentence in her general direction.

Lily noticed James squint a bit at the situation. The head girl hadn't come to speak to him after all.

"Remus, I need you to come with me," Lily pleaded.

"Err," Remus responded, glancing over to Sirius and James to make sure that he wasn't breaking bro code.

"PLEASE!" Lily finally yelped in desperation, and Remus hopped up from the bench in response.

"Will you lot handle preparations without me?" he asked into the round of breakfasting Marauders.

"It will be difficult," Peter responded with a pout.

"Near impossible," Sirius agreed, stretching and eyeing the two prefects with interest.

"But we'll manage," James concluded, winking at Lily. The head girl's heart skipped a beat at the way it still made her feel and she cursed herself for it, "See you later?"

"Um," Lily bit her lip, "Yeah, maybe."

"Ladies and gentlemen, we've got a maybe!" Sirius laughed, feigning excitement.

Lily dragged Remus out of the Great Hall.

"Erm," Remus finally spoke up when they had walked up two flights of stairs in determined silence, "Lily, what in the name of Merlin's mother is going on?"

They climbed another two flights until Lily halted suddenly, and Remus ran into her back. She turned to face him suddenly to catch the prefect of guard and immediately rounded on him, "Where is the secret fourth-floor passageway that leads in and out of Hogwarts!?"

"Oh, Lily, I- I can't," Remus began to stammer, his eyes widening as if this was a test he had trained for for years.

"You can and you will!" Lily urged, flames behind her emerald eyes, "Sirius would never tell me, I don't trust Peter and – and Ja- I – YOU HAVE TO HELP ME, REMUS!"

"Erm," Remus swallowed, starting to look sickly, "W-Why?"

"I can't tell you that," Lily said quickly, but convincingly.

"Okay," Remus nodded and thought this over for a second, "Then- Bye!"

Lily grabbed his sleeve before he could walk off, "Alright, alright! But need to promise me not to tell anyone. Especially not your friends."

"Aren't I just the luckiest for you to confide in me? I love strings attached to the favours I'm doing you!" Remus rolled his eyes, but his gaze softened as he recognised how distraught the head girl was, "Alright, what the hell is going on, Lily?"

"Okay okay," Lily drew in sharply, "So you promise not to tell, right? Okay, good. So, remember how I found that parchment in Elise' hand after she was attacked?"

"Riiight," Remus nodded, "The one with the crazy requests?"

"Yes," Lily responded curtly, "What I haven't told anyone- and I'm only telling you now because you've unkindly forced my hand and I need you for this task, and- Oh alright, alright! So it said that if I don't accomplish the nutty requests, that um, well, erm, James will – err – die."

"It-," Remus squinted his eyes as he listened to her, and then his mouth fell open, "It – WHAT!?"

"Yes," Lily nodded nervously, stepping from one foot to the other.

"Die how?"

"Well, Moony, I would take a wild guess here and assume murder," Lily rolled her eyes at the prefect, "Is this really what's on your mind here?"

"No, I just meant- Who the hell? And why are you telling me this only now!? Does Dumbledore know?"

"No," Lily shook her head, "No one knows. And as to whom- that's why I need your help. I just overheard two, erm, individuals talk about another attack planned for tonight and that they were going to use the fourth-floor corridor entrance way to the castle. Thus attacking or even murdering innocent students. So, your help would be of great value here, you see?" She emphasised the details in the hopes to make Remus comprehend all this quicker.

Remus, silent, was white as a sheet.

"We need to cancel the party!" he suddenly cried out.

"No, Remus, listen to me. That's what I've been realising only now," Lily quickly responded, trying to soothe the Gryffindor, "We're safe when we're together! Everyone will be safe at Hogsmeade, or when practicing spells together or whatever. It's when we're alone, that's when they can corner us! But it doesn't matter now. We know how the Death Eaters came into the castle last time, you see? We've got the upper hand!"

"The fourth-floor passageway," Remus slowly repeated, nodding his head in realisation, "What do you want to do with this information? Wait for Death Eaters to show up and fight them? Tell Dumbledore, for Merlin's sake woman!"

"Dumbledore is gone," Lily expressed in a groan, "Don't you see? That's why they're attacking tonight! I'm going to tell Dumbledore everything when he gets back, be sure of it. But we need to take care of the passageway now."

"Okay," Remus nodded, "So… how do you suppose we can block an entire passage? I hope you're not expecting me to sit there all night and defend it by myself!"

"We're going to bomb it," Lily cut him off, determined.

"Wha- What?"

"Got a better idea?"

Remus raised a blonde eyebrow, "Well, no-"

"Then let's go!"

She pushed him up two more flights of stairs. Finally, Remus caved and showed Lily the way. Lily's heart ached as they blasted the beautiful, ancient corridor to ruins by crying Bombardier! for what felt like two-hundred times until the ceiling collapsed. She was glad that she had asked Remus to help her. Certain other Marauders would have found the idea of destroying a part of magic history quite unappealing. Come to think of it, they would have probably done something stupid like actually stand there all night and try to duel with Death Eaters. As a final measure, Lily cast all the protective spells she knew towards the massive pile of rubble. Even a pixie would have trouble wedging itself through the barricade.

As they stood there in front of the new stonewall, heavily breathing from the effort, Remus asked, "So… how do you know they don't know another way in?"

"Well," Lily rubbed her glistening forehead with her blouse sleeve, "They did say they were going to enter through 'the only passageway' in. And even I know that this is not the only way into Hogwarts, as uncomfortable as that makes me feel."

"Alright, so there's an 85 percent chance that they don't have a backup plan or passageway to torch us all after all?"

"Precisely, Moony, precisely."

"Brilliant!"

"Hey, do you want me to get the rest of your gang and we can blow all the other passageways you lot know up as well?"

"Right," Remus grinned, "I suppose that proposal wouldn't be met with a ton of enthusiasm. Erm… Lily?"

"Yes, Remus?"

"I know we're good friends," he started and Lily frowned at this comment. "Don't get me wrong! I'm glad you came to me today. But… Wouldn't this have been a job for Prongs? My knowledge of the passageway is only second-hand after all. And I'm sure he'd like to know what that parchment actually said. Probably a one-way-ticket to everyone laying off you, if you ask me."

"Yeah," Lily sighed, and turned to meet Remus' grey gaze, "But I can't make myself tell him. After what I put him through?"

"You did it because you thought it would save him. No one could be mad about that."

"Maybe," Lily bit her lip, "But he was right."

"About what?"

"That there is no reason big enough to stop fighting. Even if it means risking everything. I was such a coward. He would never have given up like I did."

"You didn't give up, Lily, you thought you were keeping him alive by refraining from action," Remus said, hugging her tightly, "Not everyone reacts loudly, but they can still be strong. There is nothing he wouldn't do for you. For us. But I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for you to stay still, even if it meant losing, well, everyone. That was equally brave as reacting in a large way – and James could never have done that."

"Yeah," Lily sniffed, "He would have done something great and brave."

"Maybe," Remus squeezed her shoulder, "But I'm also afraid that that side of his is going to get him killed."

Lily's chest filled with terror at the thought of losing James and her head and heart finally shared a single agreement.

"Hey Remus?"

"What's up, buttercup?"

"Do you… do you think it's too late now?"

Remus chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they walked back into the lit hallways of the castle, "What an odd thought to have, Lilykins. We're living in dark war times after all! If it were me, I'd choose to be dumb and happy over being murdered with my pride in tact any day of the week. Except for full moon. I tend have a pretty uncool state of mind on those days."

Lily stared at the blank ceiling of her canopy, chewing on the inside of her cheek. He had invited the whole school, and he hadn't gone through the trouble to explicitly disinvite her. Hadn't he even hinted at seeing her there earlier? But still, Lily was sure she wasn't exactly welcome. His words of the night before rung in her ears. Was she really that naïve? Did she truly believe that Voldemort would be defeated by the time she graduated and that she could start some brand new job and rent out a posh apartment in London? Lily's fifth year dreams seemed so silly to her now. But she knew that James had made her see the truth in the last 24 hours. If they couldn't count on having their whole lives in front of them, then what was the point? She thought of how brave James had reacted when Dumbledore had proposed his nutty plan.

"Where can I sign?"

Dumbledore had had a sparkle in his piercing blue eyes at the young man's enthusiasm. Lily had only sat there in silence, until Dumbledore peered directly at her through his half moon-shaped spectacles.

"I- um, I'd have to think about it, professor."

He had nodded kindly and told her to take all the time she needed, but that she was a gifted witch and an even better leader. Lily had only blushed and thanked him.

As Lily thought all this over, she knew how idiotic it had been of her not to agree immediately. Was she going to hide in the Caribbean until the war was over while James fought for what was right until he died? Never. She would tell Dumbledore her final answer as soon as he got back from the Ministry. If he was building up an army to take down the Dark Lord, she was going to be right there beside him.

As she considered and reconsidered combing her hair to make herself look presentable for a non-birthday party, she suddenly knew that there was only one thing that could help her now – her girlfriends.

When she politely knocked at the 7th year Gryffindor dorm room, she could make out loud yelling from the other side of the door. She knocked again, more forceful.

"Black, if that's you again I swear I'm going to torpedo – LILY!"

Dorcas stood behind the opened door, wearing nothing but a bra, a pair of jeans and a big fat grin.

"Erm," Lily grinned back, "I'm sorry. Is this for Black's benefit?"

A lean female stepped out of the bathroom, her hair wrapped in a fluffy orange towel, "Is that Black again?"

When Marlene spotted Lily in the doorframe, her features grew hard.

"Oh. It's you."

Lily drew a sharp breath. She hadn't exactly expected Marlene to be welcoming, but she had hoped that her anger towards her auburn-haired friend would have rung off a little by now.

"Look," Lily started, and noticed that Preena and Gwin had gone into an eavesdropping-esque stoic position while braiding Preena's hair. Lily rolled her eyes, but decided to ignore the unwelcome audience.

"Look, obviously you were right. I broke him, and I was fully aware of what I was doing at the time. But you need to know that I had a good reason to do so. He was in danger, and it was the only way I knew to keep him safe. I know it doesn't make sense right now, and I hope that sometime in the future I can explain everything in detail to you both. But right now, all I know is that I love him. I am completely, idiotically in love with him, and nothing will change that. And I know you're going to say that it's my fault, that I let him go and you're right to an extent, even though I felt that it wasn't my choice at the time. But believe you me, that no matter how angry you are at me, it doesn't even begin to compare to how furious I am with myself, at how stupid I was to think that keeping apart from him would make anything better. Because I'm so much stronger with him! And with you guys as well! And you can keep being angry with me to punish me or whatever but come on, that's just unfair!"

"Excuse me?" Marlene blurted out.

"I mean, I lost him okay? He's gone! And now I'm forever alone pining after that idiot until I'm saggy breasted and my hair turns into a disgusting light orangey-grey colour. Isn't that shitty enough!? Isn't that punishment enough? I don't need to lose you two on top of that to prove a point, do I? This is all shitty enough as is! I motion that you both forgive me and take me to that party to get drunk. Yes, I know, you hate me and everything. But get over it! I need my friends now. Because I'm going to die a crinkly virgin, living in my parents' basement. Hey, if Voldy doesn't kill me before, am I right? I motion that you forgive me and that we'll be friends forever!"

Lily focused in on her friends and noticed that both had grins creeping up across their faces.

"Well, I second the motion," Dorcas' giggled.

Lily smiled.

"Admittedly," Marlene coughed, "It would be a shame to have you crinkle up without having at least one last decent drink."

"For real?" Lily asked hopefully.

"FRIEND ATTACK!" Dorcas shouted at the top of her lungs and pushed Marlene and Lily onto her bed before launching into a ten-minute tickle feast. Preena and Gwin stared at them in confusion as they hurriedly exited the dorm room to make their way to the Three Broomsticks without these nutty housemates of theirs.

After the giggles died down and the three friends were sprawled across Dorcas' bed, limbs over limbs, Marlene suddenly spoke up.

"So, what's this about losing Potter?"

"Yeah," Dorcas chimed in, "I didn't get that part either."

Lily sighed heavily into Marlene's hair.

"Come on you guys, I don't have a chance in hell," Lily muttered.

"Well no," Marlene nodded and patted Lily's head with an awkward angle in her arm, "Not in that skirt anyway."

"Hey!" Lily squealed, and another tickling fight ensued.

After the three girls awkwardly clambered out of the Honeydukes cellar and made it onto Hogsmeade's main street, Lily had to admit, she felt nothing short of brilliant. They had shared a sizable round of Marlene's secret Firewhiskey stash (stolen from Black, of course), while Marlene was busy fixing Lily's fiery mane into soft waves and Dorcas worked on the head girl's eyeliner. On their way to the secret passageway to Honeydukes they made a pit stop at the Head Student Dormitory and Lily slipped into the black silk dress her mother had bought her at Tuney's wedding dress shopping spree, and stepped into matching heels. The three of them, Marlene in a green tube dress and Dori in flared jeans with a crisp white top and large hoop earings, took a stride down Main Street like they owned the place in their heels.

"Gah!"

Suddenly, Lily saw stars.

"Okay, who's foot is this?" she heard Dori's voice from beyond.

"Help me, I can't see," Lily muttered as she fumbled the smooth bricks beneath her in search of her friends.

"Might be a good idea to get your hair out of your face then, love!" Marlene advised, and Lily did as she was told.

After they had scrambled back up on their feet, they burst into laughter.

"Well," Dori shook her hair out to get rid of any fall leaves that might have taken a liking to her curls, "I'd say that was embarrassing!"

"If no one saw, it didn't happen," Lily swore, and mimicked Dori by brushing out her own waves.

"I think my aching bottom would argue with you there," Marlene snickered.

"Alright, so perhaps we should have chosen less of a heel," Dori admitted, biting her lips.

"Yes, but then how would Lily be able to get into Potters pants if she can't even look him in the eye!"

"I'm NOT short!"

"Funny how that's what you're protesting in that statement," Dori grinned and raised an eyebrow, "Oh the times they are a changin'."

"Oh, shut it," Lily grimaced and took one nimble step at a time, as if a doe on ice.

"Dancing will be a blast," Marlene commented, as she held on to Lily's left arm.

"Just hold on to people," Dori recommended, and slung her arm around Lily's right.

"Well I do, and they call it being too forward," Lily huffed, but let her friends lead her in the direction of the venue, "I just need another shot and I'll be at pro level again in these shoes."

When they approached the Three Broomsticks, they were greeting with wolf-calls and whistles by the smokers standing outside. Dorcas and Lily rolled their eyes while Marlene grinned and winked at a select few.

Out of the group, Kendrick stepped forward and kissed Dorcas on the cheek, "Hey babe, glad you made it."

"Thanks, babe," Dorcas cooed back, but her icy stare told another story, "How about I go inside, and you can wait to see if I'm too emotional for you today or not."

"Oh, come on-"

"Bugger off!"

Under the laughter of Kendrick's friends, she left him to brood outside as she entered the bar without another head turn.

"Are you coming, babe?" Marlene asked Lily and took her best friend's hand to guide her inside. Lily, however, was preoccupied staring at something off to the side.

"Whose car is that?" the red-haired beauty blurted out.

She pointed at the midnight blue Ford Anglia parked outside the Three Broomsticks. In this case 'parked' meant driven into the bins outside the pub, halting half on the street and half on the sidewalk.

"Potter's birthday gift," one of the smoking boys explained and moved to lean against it, "Mad, yeah? Like one of them Rolling Stones!"

Lily stood mouth agape staring at the beautiful car she expected to be pre-owned by James Bond before Potter, until Marlene dragged her inside.

The Three Broomsticks was packed, bursting at the seams with Hogwarts students and, to Lily's utter shock, a few odd staff members. At the end of the bar, Madam Rosmerta was in the middle of pouring Poppy Pomfrey, Hagrid and Madam Hooch bright green liquor into spindly glasses. Giddy students were rosy-cheeked and heavy-tongued under the steady flow of whatever the bright golden punch passed around in large goblets consisted of. At the back of the pub, a large garland read Happy Birthday Prongs and colourful large balloons portrayed the number 17 ½. The crowd was split between students chatting away loudly with their friends and those going nuts on the dancefloor. Lily's heart skipped a beat when she spotted James in a slim-fit black suit, wildly dancing with Sirius to 'Twist and Shout'.

"Lily!" a voice burst out somewhere behind the head girl, and she turned to see the Ravenclaw prefect Greg beaming at her in delight.

"Erm, hey Greg!" Lily shouted over the noisy crowd and buzzing music, "It's quite a riot in here, isn't it?"

Lily caught Marlene's rolling eyes, as the raven-haired Gryffindor motioned to her that she was going to get drinks from the bar.

"James is so awesome!" Greg blurted out giddily and Lily gave him a confused smile.

"Sure, Greg," she agreed, looking around for an escape from this conversation.

As she searched the room, her eyes locked with James', and Greg sputtered, "I love you so much, Lily,"

Reluctantly, Lily tore away her gaze.

"Greg, you're drunk," Lily dismissed the prefect, who proceeded to affectionately caress her left lower arm with his hand.

"Drunk with lurve," he responded in what he must have interpreted as a seductive tone. Lily gagged inside.

"Gregsy!"

A strong arm wrapped around Gregory's shoulder and the prefect looked nauseous as he recognised who it was. He let of Lily's arm.

"P-potter," Gregory sputtered, "H-happy birthday."

Lily didn't know how James had known to save her, but she didn't care and idiotically beamed up at his wonderful features.

"Thanks, Grogs," he yelled at the shorter boy, handing Gregory his cup, "Get me a birthday refill, will you?"

Gregory looked quite unhappy, cup in hand, yet did as he was told and trotted off through the crowd.

Someone knocked into James and he stumbled forward and into Lily. As Lily glimpsed over James' shoulder, she briefly caught eye of Remus passing through.

"Hey," she whispered into James' neck, as she disentangled herself from the head boy.

"Nice of you to make it, Evans," James murmured back in his best husky voice.

Lily took a step back, but was shoved right back into his arms.

"So maybe we just dance?" James offered and slung an arm around her waist.

"Okay," she giggled as she threw her mop of hair over her shoulder and wrapped her arms around his neck, "Nice ride outside by the way."

"Yeah, Sirius' uncle Alphie took a bit too much of a liking to the idea of a half-birthday," James explained as they slowly swayed to music that was way too fast for the pace they were moving in.

"I swear, I need to get some friends with cooler uncles," Lily grinned, and they were shoved a bit more from drunk students passing by, "Seems like a ton of people showed up."

"Yes yes, just a few of my closest acquaintances," James grinned back at her and Lily blushed as she struggled to return his gaze, "Did you get taller by magic, Evans?"

"Uh, well, if you count the fact that I even made it to your party alive in these heels magic, then yes, Potter, yes I did."

He pushed her away gently at arm's length, "You are wearing heels, Evans. Fancy that. A miracle you didn't off yourself with your track record of clumsiness."

As his eyes traced her, she was suddenly reminded of how short her dress actually was.

"Hey!" Lily exclaimed, like she had just remembered something important and James' met her gaze again, smiling at her, "I got you a gift, Potter."

She pulled out a tiny wrapped package from her dress pockets.

"Oh yeah?" He took it from her hands, frowning as he looked back and forth between the package and her, "Thanks a bunch, Evans. Um, but I can't really hold on to anything at the moment though, so I'll put it with the others in the back for now." He pointed to a table next to the bathrooms that was stacked and stacked with presents in all shapes and sizes, making hers seem miniscule among the massive crimson boxes, and Lily's heart sunk to her feet.

"But thanks again!" he added kindly.

"Oh," Lily swallowed. She wondered if she had said something wrong. James waved to someone behind her.

"So, have a good time, yeah Evans?" he said before leaving towards a table occupied by the Marauders and the entirety of their female fan club.

Lily gloomily weaved her way back to the bar, where Marlene was brightly waving a shot at her.

"Looked like you were getting all kinds of cosy over there," Dorcas giggled and wriggled her eyebrows as a pouty Lily squeezed between them, "Did he like your gift?"

"I guess I'll know in four to six weeks, when Agnetha delivers the standard Potter thank you card," Lily huffed unhappily.

"Aww," Marlene patted her head lovingly and grinned, "Drink?"

Lily glanced over her shoulder to the Marauders' table. Gwinerva Vane had just sat down on James' lap.

"You know what," Lily huffed, "I think I'm going to head back to the castle."

Before Marlene and Dorcas could protest, she hopped off her barstool and exited the Three Broomsticks into the icy October night, her heels in her hand.

Lily lay on her bed, fully dressed, and watched the night sprawl and retreat from her canopy. She thought about all the things she might have said to James, to explain why she had pushed him away all this time. But she had missed her chance with him, she had realised that when he had spoken with her. No wonder he couldn't trust her, with all the times she had played him for a fool. She thought about the gift she had given him, which was likely lost in some corner of the Three Broomsticks and which he would probably never open. She had spent hours of the last weeks in the library, trying to fix the watch that she had taken off him when they had spent detention in the lake. When she had finally managed to drain the remaining liquid from the mechanism and reset the lost constellation, she wanted to send it to him anonymously via Hogwarts owl. But then she had kept thinking about the upcoming party and a tiny bit of hope was ignited in her after all this time.

Her stomach grumbled, and the head girl sat up. Her alarm clock read 5:04.

Lily rubbed her eyes. Breakfast wouldn't start for quite some time. But it was officially Sunday after all, and breakfast was all day on Sundays in her opinion. Her thoughts trailed to a tickly pear in a portrait in the school's lower level. The head girl bit her lip. She stroked over her velvet dress as she stood up in her bedroom and slipped into her fluffy white slippers.

Slowly, cautiously, she treaded along the dark corridors of the silent castle, holding her breath every time a pearly white ghost passed a far-off corner. After too many creaking flights of stairs, she finally stood in front of the portrait she desired.

She tickled the inconspicuous yellow fruit gently. It giggled, the sound ringing through the silent castle, and Lily held her breath as the portrait creaked open.

Behind it, the silence of the castle vaporised.

"EVANS!" roared the infamous Sirius Black in greeting as she entered the kitchens.

Lily's head went numb and her heartbeat accelerated. James and Sirius, suit coats off and with their white shirt sleeves pulled up to their elbows, were sitting together at a wooden table to the side, while house elves were scurrying about, catering treats to the two Gryffindor boys. Remus was passed out underneath another table and Peter snored soundly in a pile of their coats.

"Wha-," Lily stammered, feeling herself turning pink and not knowing where to look, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, Lilylove," Sirius explained with a whiskey-laden tongue, "Let me give you the down and dirty. After Rosmerta kicked us out at half past four, we decided to grab a night cap and some pastries to ring out the evening in style! After all, James only turns seventeen once- uh, twice a year. Ain't that right, Prongsie?"

Sirius shoved James into the side, and the head boy erupted in a series of stifled coughs.

"Hi," he finally croaked to her, and Lily noticed the head boy's ears turn a shade of dark red.

"Um, hi," she said back, flushed to the roots as well.

Sirius looked from one to the other, a wide grin spread across his face.

"Brilliant," he commented, rubbing his hands together and stood up, "How about you Evans? A toast to James' birthday?!"

Lily stared at the bottle of fire whiskey that she was certain hadn't been there before, suddenly in Black's hand. He produced three shot glasses out of thin air with his wand.

"Um," Lily got out, "Okay?"

James glanced at her in surprise, and Lily quickly averted her gaze to her hands.

"Look at that, the head students of this great institution uniting over hard liquor," Sirius cackled, passed a filled glass each to James and Lily, and raised his into the air, "To Mrs. Potter's fruitful womb!"

"Uargh," James shuttered at Sirius' words and Lily snorted, before the three Gryffindors downed their respective shot.

After the warmth of the fiery liquid spread through Lily's body, there was more awkward silence. A frustrated Sirius dug his face into his hands.

"Right, right," Sirius murmured, deep in thought, "Evans?"

Lily's green eyes flickered uncertainly around the room, "Yes, Sirius?"

"Butter beer?" Sirius suggested and mumbled something like 'might take the edge off'.

Lily thought this over and nodded curtly. It was still Saturday night after all, right? James continued to stare down at the bottom of his whiskey glass and Lily wondered how drunk he actually was.

"Bonkers!" Sirius declared enthusiastically as he rubbed his hands together and turned around, "One of these house elves is always hooked on that crap. I'll find the lady a bottle!"

He wandered down along to the back of the kitchens and left a panicky Lily and a fidgeting James alone to fend for themselves. Lily's heart pounded in her throat. James' gaze flickered across the room to where Sirius had disappeared, to her and back to his glass. Lily found it quite endearing that the head boy, usually so cool and composed when surrounded by a horde of people, seemed to be losing it in the face of the two of them being alone together. Well, except for snoring Remus and Peter of course. Ambience!

Bravely, Lily stepped forward in her fluffy slippers. She stood in front of James and his eyes grew wide. She reached past his head and grabbed an éclair from the massive tray of pastries behind his back.

"I'm starved," she commented apologetically as she stuffed her mouth with the éclair.

James gazed at her munching away and suddenly croaked, "Thanks for your gift, Evans."

Lily, her mouth full of buttery pudding, felt more heat rise to her cheeks.

"No problem," she sputtered, spraying a little bit of pudding to her feet in a very un-ladylike manner.

James gave her a small lopsided smile. He seemed to be fighting with himself inwardly as he shifted the whiskey glass from one hand to the other. Finally, he looked her in the eye in a way that made Lily's head spin, and said, "Remus told me something tonight. A nutty story about that piece of paper you found in Elise' robes. He was drunk off his arse, so I'm just asking here, if there's any truth to it."

Lily swallowed. Oh, Remus. She glanced over at the peaceful silhouette dozing underneath a nearby table.

"M-maybe," she whispered into the echoing kitchen. James leaned back on the table behind him and x-rayed her through his glasses.

"So let me get this straight, Evans," James groaned, "You do a bunch of crazy shit because a stupid piece of parchment says I'm going to croak otherwise. Then, you let me accuse you for it and for being a coward over and over again. And to top it all off, you give me the most thoughtful gift I've ever received, and mind you, this includes a pair of socks that say 'JP superstar', hand knitted by Peter."

Lily pulled at the hem of her dress to hide her embarrassment, balancing the remaining pastry in her other hand.

"And now," James went on, not taking his eyes off of the girl in front of him for a moment, "like the biggest prick on the planet mind you, Evans, you're eating the last existing éclair in all of Hogwarts right in front of me, even though it's my birthday and it rightfully belongs to me?"

Lily grinned at the last part and met his gaze.

"Oh, this éclair?" she coyly asked, holding up what was left of the pastry she had already half-inhaled.

"Precisely the one," James responded, setting down his shot glass on the bench and crossing his arms in front of his chest, "I hope you have a plan to make this up to me. Because doing things to save my neck just isn't going to cut it this time."

Lily grinned from ear to ear.

"Aww, did Prince Potter not get the treat he wanted?" she mockingly sang, "Here, let's share."

Lily proceeded to attack him with the éclair, shoving it into his mouth and chin. James' Quidditch reflexes quickly set in and he grabbed Lily's wrists, pulling her into his lap. Lily giggled and kissed the pudding off his lips. As James hands ran down her back, Lily's grin faded and she kissed him harder, the sweet taste of pudding mixing with the bitter flavour of whiskey and cigarettes as their tongues met longingly. Lily softly moaned to his touch as she ran a hand through James' unruly hair.

"MERLIN!" Sirius yelped and they quickly pulled apart.

Lily stood up from their entanglement and smoothed over her velvet dress as she bit her lip. James looked over his hands in astonishment like he had only just now noticed the fact that they had been attached to his arms this whole time.

"I can't leave you two alone for five minutes!" Sirius muttered sourly as he handed Lily her butter beer, "Here, drink up, beauty queen."

"Calm down, Padfoot," James murmured as he wiped the rest of éclair from his cheek with the back of his hand. Lily sipped from her butterbeer and stared at her fluffy-shoed feet, trying not to grin.

"I will not calm down!" Sirius exclaimed in an unusually high-pitched voice and waved his arms about frantically, "This is all just too confusing for me! Half the time you can't function properly because she maybe smiled at you during Charms class, the other half you say that you're completely over her and want to blow up the castle for fun. I need consistency, mate. I come from a broken home, alright? I can't deal with this crap any longer!"

James got up and shook Sirius a little, "Get a grip, Padfoot! You know well enough that I'm never gonna get over her!"

Lily's cheeks flushed pink and she full-on grinned like an idiot. Sirius cocked his head, focused on her and took notice.

"And what are you smiling about!?" he rounded on her and Lily's grin was wiped from her face, "You can't get your shit together long enough to even admit that you like the bloke!"

"I do too!" Lily defended herself, "Was I supposed to guess that he's still interested? He's had a girlfriend until like two seconds ago after all!"

James snorted loudly, "Yes, and I've had her for two seconds as well, mind you! If I may remind you, we were broken up for quite a stint there."

"Oh yes," Lily said sourly, "Too bad I didn't get my chance with you between girlfriends. The same one, I might add! Truly a shame!"

"D'you think I would've been with her if I could've had you?"

"Oh, aren't you cavalier!?" Lily spat, "Don't stop now, Potter! I know it's impossible for you to not have a backup ready at all times, after all, it would be too much to ask."

"Come on, Evans, you didn't bother even talking to me until last year! Did you need a little bit more of my attention wasted on you? Would that make you feel better?"

"Oh, so now attention on me is wasted?" Lily huffed crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Yes, if you're going to break me for sports, then I think it is!"

"Get over yourself! You know that I had to do that, to make sure your sorry ass doesn't get hexed into oblivion by some death eater!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I supposed to just guess when you despise me for real and when you're actually into me, but pretend to want nothing to do with me to save my neck? Are you out of your mind!?"

"Well, then take a good look, Potter! Cause this is what being with me will be like!"

"Hey, Evans?"

"WHAT!?"

"Want to go out some time?"

"You're infuriating!"

"You're both infuriating!" Sirius yelped, and it was a true miracle that neither Wormtail nor Moony had woken up from the commotion. Then again, a drunken mind sleeps soundly.

"I asked you a simple question, Evans!" James insisted, running a hand through his unruly hair and Lily's mind spun as she wanted to be nothing but that exact hand.

"Yes, fine, I'll go out with you," she said breathlessly, licking her lips.

"You've said that before," James asserted.

"Well, I mean it this time!"

"You're both insane," Sirius commented sourly.

"How can I know for sure?"

"I don't know! It's just- just that I don't want to be all public with my love life at school."

"Great. So you're still embarrassed of being with me."

"No! I just- I want the younger students to be able to come to me, to us, with their problems, and not wonder if they're going to bother us on a date or something."

"I'm not going to demand to lie on top of you in the middle of the hallway, Evans!"

"I just need a little structure! That's who I am."

"Well, by Merlin, why didn't you just say that?"

"I'm trying to!"

"Are you done yet!?" Sirius cried, "Evans, don't make James feel like he's garbage when he's trying to be your bloody boyfriend, Prongs, don't try and snog her in front of the whole school. Settled!?"

"Fine."

"Fine by me."

"Excellent," Sirius sighed exhaustedly, before shifting to a mischievous grin, "So what do we do now?"

James winked at Lily and she rolled her eyes, but grinned.

"Does any one of you actually know how to drive that bloody car parked in Hogsmeade?" Lily innocently inquired as she picked up a blueberry scone from the plate of pastries.

"Erm," Sirius declared intelligently.

"Define knowledge," James pondered and gave Lily his irresistible lopsided grin that always made her blush despite of herself.

"Right," Lily giggled and took a bite from the delicious scone. After she swallowed, she added, "So do you want me to teach you?"

James and Sirius exchanged sly glances.

"Can we keep her, Prongsie?"

A/N: So there you have it. Finito. The End.

A BIG THANK YOU to JoPoGirlsKickAss, Magicgirll91, Riles16, Maggiethefangirl and BlushingBelle for the brilliant and consitent reviews that made my days and made me finish this fic. Of course also thank you thank you thank you to everyone else who reviewed, I would not have kept going if it wasn't for the support.

There may or may not be an epilogue coming your way. But no promises! Let me know if you enjoyed this fic and/or favourite if you did! 333

XOXO