Hey guys! Here is my first « English » fan fiction! I wrote it in my french too as this is my native langage. The wonderful Song of LoN beta read it, and she was so fabulous I can't find words. She makes stuff in my mind understandable in english and that's not an easy task to do.

Anyway, this fan fiction is a bit angsty, and quite dark, so please be aware of trigger warning about suicide.

What's the point?

Chapter 1 –

What's the point?

Cat Grant stood on her balcony, staring out at the cityscape without really seeing it. She leaned on the concrete balcony wall that kept her from the emptiness of the forty stories below her, sipping at her umpteenth glass of whisky. After spending countless nights drinking alone, with the city contemplating her, the alcohol had little effect on her.

Everything seemed to have changed so quickly. Giving Kara a promotion had been the biggest mistake of her life, and every second since had been a succession of dramas and failures. Replacing her assistant had led to her losing custody of Carter.

Her new subordinate didn't notify her of the phone calls from her ex, which, in turn, led to a visit from a social worker at Cat's home while she was away. The nanny wanted to call and alert her boss to the social worker's presence, but the visitor told her not to. She had sent several letters announcing her visit, and the Queen of All Media couldn't have possibly missed them all.

Thanks to her assistant, Cat obviously never saw those letters. It was only when she came home at five that evening, a little tipsy, that her whole world came crashing down around her.

The social worker had no other choice than to recommend giving custody to Carter's father. And the judge had agreed.

Cat was still haunted by the memory of Carter's expression, when she had come through the door that day.

Kara didn't come to her office anymore for advice. Or for anything, for that matter. She had decided to pursue a career as a reporter in the alien domain, as new ones seemed to appear quite often in National City. Cat, whose suspicions that Kara was, in fact, Supergirl had been confirmed after the Myriad episode, didn't want to intervene in the young woman's career.

She was glad Kara could take her first steps into the world of journalism under Cat's supervision. But she didn't get to see her former assistant, for whom she had too much affection, as often; and it hurt her more than she let show.

This independence for Kara meant independence for Supergirl, as well. And the hero didn't seem to need her mentor anymore. With Superman's arrival in town, and the new ship that had crashed, Cat knew it was unfair to hold Kara's absence against her.

The alcohol increased her anxiety, and Cat wondered again, What's the point? Sure, she had an empire; but what was the point if she had no one to share it with? Her thoughts were dark, her eyes tired, mind filled with self-disgust for letting such a situation happen to her and her son.

She stared at the sky, gaze searching for a red cape, night after night. Her ears strained to catch the sounds of any nearby disaster that Supergirl would be helping out with. All her senses desperately looked for a trace of the woman who saved the world on a daily basis, hoping she would come save her, too.

She was ashamed of her hopes. How could a woman, who had fought so hard all her life, become so dependent on someone? She had always excelled at not needing anyone; but now she found herself pathetically hoping someone would come help her. She had treated Kara awfully over the years; it was to be expected that the young woman would want nothing to do with her after being freed from Cat's demands.

The night was quiet, as another question suddenly popped into Cat's mind. One darker, worrisome but vital. What if I disappeared? Right there, in that moment, what if Cat Grant were to cease to exist? Who would miss her? Who would care?

Her affairs were in order. Carter was with his father. Kara was independent. Cat's own mother hadn't cared about her in a long time.

She didn't want to overthink it, for fear of changing her mind. Setting her glass on the nearby table, she lifted herself onto the edge of the balcony. The fresh air filled her with peace for a moment, before the heavy weight of her emotional pain returned as tightness in her chest. And the next second, she was letting herself plunge into the darkness. She thought of nothing as she fell. Adrenaline filled her with an electrifying sensation, giving her peace, once again, in that moment.

Chapter 2 will come tomorrow...