Chapter 25

Mary's eyes flicked from the tv to her niece on the couch. Alison's head rest on her girlfriends' shoulder, her eyelids drooping. Mary smiled. Emily fiddled with Alison's hair absently as her eyes were fixed on the screen. There was a knock on the door, disturbing the three women. Alison groaned and made to move.

"I'll get it," Mary said, "You two are far too comfortable."

"Thanks, Aunt Mary," Alison smiled sleepily, curling back into her girlfriends' side.

Mary looked at the clock as she walked to the door; it was late for a social call. She opened the door and saw her daughter before her.

"Spencer, I – "

Spencer rushed at her, throwing her arms around her and hugging her tightly, "I love you."

Mary returned the embrace after a moment of shock at the sudden affection, "I-I love you too."

Spencer held onto her for a while before pulling back. Mary opened the door and let her in. She led Spencer through to the sitting room, not wanting to disturb the couple in the lounge room.

Mary offered a small, silent smile.

"You've been through so much," Spencer said quietly, "I mean, I knew that. But you… you write so… it's heartbreaking."

Mary took Spencer's hands between her own, "I never want to break your heart, sweetheart. It was a mistake, I shouldn't have let you read – "

"No, I want to know," Spencer said quickly, "I mean, you have this whole life I don't really know about. It's just bits and pieces… I know you find it hard to vocalise but your writing, it's so articulate and emotional."

"It is easier to write it than to speak it," Mary admitted quietly.

Spencer nodded, "I get that. I find it hard to speak sometimes too. I'm so sorry… the electro-shock, it just sounds so… barbaric. So inhumane."

Mary's hands clasped together tightly, "The worst of it was knowing that someone I had once considered family, had once loved had signed for it. Some people, back then, thought that electroshock therapy could truly help mental conditions. Jessica was not one of those people. She knew it hurt, she knew that the doctors said that afterwards I was quieter than usual, easier to deal with. That was enough for her."

"No matter all the things I learn about that woman, I still can't comprehend how somebody can be so outright evil," Spencer said, a frown on her face, "It's so… fucked up."

"Yes, it is," Mary whispered, "Sometimes I still have nightmares," she admitted, "The darkness, the cold metal," she closed her eyes, "the doctors speaking but never to me. They don't even ask, they just strap me down and attach the electrodes…"

Spencer saw her mothers hands begin to shake and placed her hands on Mary's face, "Mom, open your eyes. You're not there anymore. It's over."

Mary's eyes fluttered open, "I try to tell myself that. Sometimes it feels like it will never be over."

Spencer bit her lip, "I know. I think like that too – about my time in Radley. I mean, I know it's nothing compared to what you've been through, the time you spent there – "

"Any time spent in that place is too much," Mary said, "I'm sorry that we have that place in common. You shouldn't have to read… you should give those pages back."

"It hurts like hell to read what you've been through… but it also makes me feel closer to you. I want to know about your life. We missed out on so much time together. I feel like I get to gain a little of that back by reading your words."

Mary smiled, "Okay," she whispered, "But if you want to talk about anything… I know I'm not very good at it, talking I mean, but I swear I'll try."

"You're not so bad at talking, you know," Spencer smiled, "I'm just really glad you're here now. I think we both deserve some happiness."

"You deserve everything in the world," Mary pulled her daughter into her arms.

Spencer hugged her back, "So do you."