This chapter was hard to write, I've been sitting on it more or less for the past two days. There's a part of me that wanted to branch out into something different with this fic, you see it's usually my desire to leave everything as tidied up and whole and fulfilling as possible with a story, but with angst my approach is usually the opposite, but I usually make my angst fics one hitters instead of a longer form like this one. So my goal wasn't to really do either, but to present a world where everything external – going after what's left of Charon, the rebuilding of Armonia, etc. – they're happening but the characters are stagnant, the people we follow may want to be a part of those things but they're stuck. So, my idea was to show what could happen next, but may (or more likely may not). Because there's not really a justice for what was taken from them, but maybe there could be something else.

I hope this makes some sense and that despite myself this story will end with the very striking feels that so many of you have been kind enough to share with me. So thank you so much for supporting this fic and for letting me play in the dark little sandbox of the fandom.

Thanks especially for the feedback to analiarvb, illumynare, Yin, Beawolfs_Pen, powerfulpomegranate, staininspace, and ChiKizuko on AO3 and tumblr!

Caboose Alone
Chapter Twelve: Alone Together

His bad arm ached some.

Caboose kept running, the sharp pinches of bone and metal rods unable to deter him from at least that much. Even thought thoughts of Doctor Grey and hospitals and surgeries frightened him, the idea of not fulfilling the wishes of his tiny robot friends terrified him all the more.

Under his good arm, he kept the scary, dome helmet of the Meta, of Tucker. Caboose held it so tightly into his side it began to feel like it was bruising him.

It made Caboose feel that constant yearning for his Blue armor even greater than usual. But, again, Caboose pushed past it.

He always knew he wasn't the smartest – he wasn't like Church or Simmons or even Doctor Grey. But Caboose knew enough.

He knew Agent Washington and Miss Carolina were angry and he knew they didn't like Caboose's new friends.

And he knew computers and robots deleted and then they were gone. Like Lopez. Like Church.

Caboose couldn't do that again.

So he ran, and he did so in spite of his arm or his side or the truly scary idea that Caboose would make Agent Washington and Miss Carolina so angry that they would stay angry at him forever. Because Caboose had promised Sigma he would try this so that, one last time, Caboose could say something to his absolute best friend again.

That was worth everything to him.

The path to the lab where Sigma and the others stayed was so well worn in Caboose's memory that he barely even looked where he was going. He nearly pushed down several people along the way.

"Caboose!" he heard Carolina bellow behind him.

"Keep running. Don't answer. It's a trick," he muttered breathlessly just as he reached the doors to the lab.

"Caboose! Don't! Please don't!" Carolina continued, nearly smacking into the door as Caboose slammed it shut behind him.

He leaned his back against the door, squeezing his eyes shut at the pounding Carolina was giving it. There were a stream of gutteral noises she made as she tried to get through the door.

"No cursing! Please no thank you!" Caboose yelled over his shoulder before slowly pushing off from the door.

The clanging and banging continued, but Caboose shifted his attention on the flaming AI that appeared before him.

Sigma looked at Caboose then to the door.

"Oh, my," Sigma said, head tilting. "I suppose that Agent Carolina would not be wanting to join us then." He glanced to Caboose as the other AI lit up in their respective spots. "That's unfortunate. I am certain that she and Agent Washington would have been interested in seeing this."

Caboose looked at Sigma carefully before holding out the helmet.

"Yeah, I think they're scared," Caboose responded, ignoring how the banging continued twice as much.

The AI's head cocked to the other side. "Are you?"

Without any hesitation, Caboose nodded.

Almost sounding concerned, Sigma hummed and put a hand to his chin. "Do you not want to proceed?" he asked, also ignoring as the other AI began their whispers in response to the question.

Again without hesitation, Caboose shook his head.

"I have to," Caboose said firmly.

Disappearing in a flicker of light, Sigma reappeared closer to his storage unit and waited silently as Caboose walked toward it with the helmet. The other AI continued their whispering and soft mechanical humming in the background.

Like he had been told to do before, Caboose quickly dismantled the wires and locks on the storage unit that contained Sigma's individual chip. He held it, felt the weight of it.

The device reminded Caboose of Church – like most things did. But it remind him of Valhalla and the desert, of long nights and humming to stories.

But where Church glowed blue, Sigma glowed orange and red, looking dangerous and very much like the wrong team colors. But Caboose had to trust that the AI knew what he was doing.

So even as the combined weight of Agents Carolina and Washington tore down the garage door, Caboose united the device with the helmet.

"CABOOSE!" Wash's voice strained as he stumbled forward into the room. "What're you doing!? Put it down!"

It was already too late, and the two Freelancers nearly dove onto Caboose to take the items away from him before an unstable, light blue glow projected from the helmet.

The other AI in the room increased the volume of their whispering.

Washington straightened up, eyes wide.

Carolina's jaw quivered. "Epsilon?"

"N-no," the faulty, flickering projection responded. "Not-not exactl-l-ly."

Caboose couldn't look at anything else around him, not even his other friends. His face felt puffy and tight suddenly and he could barely see past the swelling tears in his eyes.

But he could smile again. He could really smile again.

"Church," Caboose choked out.

The projection's light came and went in waves, brightening and darkening. Coming apart at the seams. Sigma had told him it would not last very long, that he was a piece of a piece – that they'd need to be quick.

But it was Church.

"Hey, buddy," Church said softly. "I worri-ie-ie-ied that you would need-need this. Did the guys I le-leave-leave-leave-left help at al-all."

The Freelancers alongside Caboose seemed utterly speechless.

Caboose, though, nodded. "They… did everything good." He let out a squeak from the back of his throat and quickly brushed at his eyes with his good hand. "B-but it's not… I miss you, Church. I miss everybody so bad."

"I know," Church said. His sprite looked for a moment to the others then back with the flicker of light. "I'm s-s-sorr-eeeee. But this time. W-we can say g-g-goodbye. Even if w-w-weeeeee don't lik-ike them."

"Okay," Caboose sniffed and nodded before looking back to Church. "I can now. Goodbye, Church. Thank you very much for the new friends. But they'll never be my best-best friends."

"Goodbye," Church said back.

There was a third goodbye whispered under Carolina's breath but it seemed hollow, somehow almost too faint to ever belong to the fiery redhead.

When the light went out, Caboose dropped his watery gaze to the helmet and waited to see if any light would turn back on in units. But he knew they wouldn't. Sigma had talked about it before.

Deleted. For good.

He squeezed his fingers into the helmet and felt a large sniff that became a sob as two arms grabbed his elbows carefully on each side and helped him lower to his knees.

"I thought it'd be longer," Caboose coughed.

Washington slid an arm over Caboose's shoulders and pulled him into his chest.

"Why didn't you tell us this is what you wanted, Caboose?" Wash asked, no harshness or anger to his voice.

Which was good. Caboose no longer felt like he could go with Washington and Carolina being angry at him if Church was really-truly gone that time. He decided that decision from earlier was not his best.

"You don't want goodbyes yet," Caboose sniffed. "You don't want goodbyes. I want them. I want goodbyes so I can start making new friends. I'm sorry, Agent Washington."

"No," Wash muttered back, setting his chin over Caboose's head. "Don't be sorry. Never be sorry for that, Caboose."

Caboose sniffed again and let the helmet slide from his grasp, into Carolina's waiting hands. He looked just enough to see her rubbing harshly at her own eyes with a freed hand before looking back at him.

"He's… not coming back?" Carolina asked.

Caboose shook his head. "No," he answered. "I… I just needed to say it."

"Yeah," Carolina whispered back. "It's just… we don't usually say it."

Wash squeezed Caboose somewhat incidentally as he stared off. "I… I hate goodbyes," he admitted. "They mean… Well, they mean you're really gone."

Caboose reached up and wiped harshly at his face. "They're really gone, Agent Washington."

Between the three of them, silence rang out again harshly. It was as if the room had grown cold just at the truth of the words.

But they were true. And so was one other.

"We're not, though," Carolina said, reaching over and grabbing Caboose's hand. "We're not gone, Caboose."

"We want you to make all the friends in the world that you need, Caboose," Wash said softly. "Both of us, though… the three of us. We're each other's family. So please, Caboose, don't forget that. Because we need you maybe even more than you need us."

Slowly closing his yes, Caboose nodded and leaned back into the two Freelancers.

"Yes," he whispered softly. "Okay. Thank you."

And in the floor, between the two of them, Caboose could feel the strength return to his legs and he began to rise again, a bit to the two's alarm.

"We need to say goodbye to everyone," he said firmly. "Please. Everyone else is saying goodbye to Tucker and Doc and the Reds today. We should do it, too. Together."

They slowly came to their feet, almost warily.

"You mean the wall?" Wash asked. "The memorial service?"

Carolina seemed unsure all over again. "I don't–"

Caboose grabbed their hands.

"Okay," Carolina said first. She then looked around to the rest of the room where the various shattered pieces of Church that remained watched them in silence. "And… after that… we'll come back here and do something with your…our friends." She looked to Wash. "Right?"

He nodded back then looked to Caboose.

"Are you ready to say goodbye?" he asked gently.

"Yes," Caboose responded, waiting until they were at his sides again. "Okay."

Arm in arm, they braved going out the door. Caboose's head swam with emotions and confusion and plans all at once, but they all went to the wayside as, finally, they reached the outdoors and were met by the streets brightly decorated in all the colors Caboose had felt missing in his life since the crash.

And, in a small way, seeing them decorating the streets and the people of Chorus that Caboose and his friends had saved, made Caboose feel all the better leading Wash and Carolina into the first step forward.