Hello!

So, I was sleeping a few days ago and when I woke up, this story was on my mind. I actually dreamt the idea of this story! I tried to dismiss it but it chased me for two days so I had to bring it to life. And I did. I literally wrote for two hours straight and this is what came about. I love it so much that I might continue. Not necessarily this exact thread but short stories of Jax and Tara and their ill-fated love.

The overall product will be titled Ghosts that We Knew, which is a Mumford and Sons song. For those who do not know who Marcus Mumford is, please go ahead and listen to this incredible musician. He is so great that he inspired the music of Adele's 21,which I consider to be one of the greatest albums of all time. Even Adele worships Marcus Mumford and his beautiful voice.

Now, this chapter is called Tears Dry on Their Own, which is a song by the late Amy Winehouse. There is a lot of parallelism between Amy and Wendy so I appropriately titled this short story. I consider both to be very tragic although Wendy is a figment of Kurt Sutter's imagination. Amy was dark and so is the song and so is this short story.

Lastly, for those fans of Boots of Spanish Leather, I finished the story (shocker, I know). I'm in the process of editing the last chapter and then I will post the last chapters to that wonderful story.

So, please read and review. Love you all!

XOXO

Tears Dry on Their Own

There were three instances where the hate she felt for her was so intense that it consumed her. Every fiber in her body burned by the intense hate.

She tried not to hate her. At first, she reasoned that she couldn't succumb to her feelings given that she saved Abel from her own, almost deadly mistake. But the truth remained that Tara had everything Wendy desperately wanted and the hatred just spread like wild fire.

The first time she felt the hatred was the night of Donna's funeral. Wendy knew that Jax was an emotional man. Although he hid his emotions from everyone, she seen how upset he was when he arrived home the night of Donna's death. She saw the pain lingering in his eyes. When they slept together, she thought that they had put everything behind them and that he was willing to give them another try, Donna's death serving as a major wake-up call for him. She doubted he slept that night but she was comforted by his heartbeat while she lay in his chest. Of course, she drifted off to sleep and when she awoke in the middle of the night to feed a crying Abel, she was disappointed to find him long gone, his side of the bed cold, the smell of him and sex lingering in the air.

She tried to talk to him about it the morning afterwards but Jax just brushed it aside much to her disappointed. Of course, Gemma pushed for her to fight for Jax even though deep down in her gut, she knew that she was in a losing war with Tara. Yet, she pushed reason aside and sat next to Gemma in Donna's funeral, like a proud Old Lady. She felt the simmer of her anger awaken when Tara showed up and sat in the opposite end of one of the two aisles. When Jax showed up, lips full of dried blood, Wendy wanted to stand and attend to him but the good old doctor beat her to it. Their kiss was brief but the deeper meaning was clear to anyone who knew the history of Jax Teller and Tara Knowles. Wendy felt the tears stinging in her eyes and the urge to use was greater than ever but she prides herself in not breaking down in front of Samcro and their guests.

Gemma held the after funeral gathering in the clubhouse, where drones of men in kuttes and ladies wearing black spoke in hushed tones so not to upset Opie or Opie's kids or the fussy Abel. Wendy helped as much as possible but her eyes always drifted to the clubhouse door, waiting for Jax's arrival. But he never showed up and as the afternoon turned into night, Wendy became so antsy that Gemma demanded that Wendy take her SUV and fight for her man. Wendy took the keys with shaky hands and she was tempted to take three shots of tequila to calm her nerves but she held her head high and walked out of the clubhouse and rode to hers and Jax's house, her goal to claim her husband even if she had to fight dirty for him.

When she arrived she turned off the ignition and sat for ten minutes in the darken SUV. His bike was in the driveway and all the lights were off. She remembers taking a lot of deep breaths and when she finally got the courage, she got off Gemma's Escalade and walked quietly up to the front door. She knew Jax had the bad habit of not locking his doors and she didn't want to frighten him in case he was asleep so she quietly opened the front door.

Given the old carpeting, her footsteps couldn't be heard and she quietly shut the door. She saw he was laying on the carpeted floor, an old duvet that Gemma stored in their linen closet under him, a white sheet covering the lower end of his body. His back was facing her, the Reaper tattoo she found so sexy staring jauntily at her. She was about to open her mouth to waken him but she heard the soft sighs. It was then that she realized that he wasn't alone and that he wasn't lying still. Quite the opposite actually, as her eyes adjusted to the dark and she noted the dark haired beauty that lay side by side her husband.

She knew how his hips moved when sex was involved and she realized that his hair looked sweaty and his back had a shiny glean to it, the Reaper mocking her. The longer she stood there, rooted to the floor, shocked, the louder the noises became, her moaning and his grunts becoming more passionate as the minutes trickled by. There was a difference though about the way he fucked her. With Wendy, it was all about physical feelings and pleasures. He was determined and borderline rough at times, his eyes always closed, a fact that bothered her at first but she got over it. Wendy use to brag to the croweaters how amazing her sex life was with Jax when they first got together. As time went on, the sex because sporadic at best completely gone by the time she got pregnant with Abel. It was like she and her desperation and evident love disgusted Jax; he could barely look at her or her expanding belly. It was what drove her to do crank while pregnant with his child.

With Tara, he was gentle and soft. She heard him panting her name, like if it was a prayer, the devotion evident in his voice. She felt the knife slide deeper in her gut and soul.

It was when she heard him whisper those three words that she unfroze from her spot by the door. All throughout her relationship with Jax, she dreamed of hearing those words come out of his lips. They never did. Yet with Tara it came out naturally. Tara didn't hesitant to say them back. Jax stopped moving for a minute and Wendy backed out into the shadows to remain hidden from them.

They shifted and Tara was soon on top of her husband, her hips slowly moving to the rhythm of his. They interlocked their hands on top of his chest and Wendy noted how both their eyes remained on one another. Tara's body was beautiful, her breast big and perky enough to make men want to peak at them. Women paid for breasts like hers. Her body was free from stretch marks and her ass looked to be in great, firm shape. There were no scars or evidence of any sort of abuse much less drug abuse. Tara was everything Jax loved in a woman and everything Wendy was not given she just had a baby and still had scars of former track marks.

She felt the tears burning her eyes but if she cried she would sob and her presence would be known so she held them back. She didn't want Jax to be mad at her.

So she watched, as Jax fucked, no made love to another woman. They kept declaring their love for one another and when Tara leaned down to kiss him, their tongues battling for control, Wendy knew they were closed. Jax gracefully flipped them over and one of her legs was thrown over his shoulder. Wendy wanted to close her eyes when Tara started screaming as Jax started chasing both their pleasures. But Wendy was known to make foolish mistakes and watching as her husband and his high school sweetheart reached an orgasm together was once of them.

With Wendy, Jax always rolled off and disposed of the condom as soon as they disconnected. Abel was the exception, since the condom broke and Wendy swore she was on the pill once he realized. Of course she lied and she prayed she ended up pregnant and she did. She remembers crying of happiness once the stick she peed on confirmed she was pregnant. She told Gemma who told Jax who got very pissed at the prospect of being a Dad. Gemma was able to calm him down and by the time he came home after the news, he was cold and dismissive. He packed his bags and walked out the same front door she was standing by.

When Jax got off Tara, she saw he wasn't wearing a condom his penis glistening from Tara's juices. He sat on his hunches and the sheet that once covered them was beside them. She watched has he took that same sheet and started cleaning Tara of the mess he made inside of her the tenderness and love in his eyes making a few of Wendy's tears roll down her cheeks. Tara sat up once he was done and started kissing him passionately and Wendy was surprised to see her husband started to react with the same fervor. Wendy knew this was her opportunity to escape her waking, living hell and she opened the door slowly as she watched her husband rise to the occasion once again. She slipped out the door just as Jax slipped inside Tara again their gasp of pleasure the last thing Wendy heard before shutting the front door quietly.

She as quietly got into Gemma's SUV as she arrived. She drove around for a bit, her tears sometimes blurring her vision. By the time she arrived at the clubhouse, a big party was raging. She thought of Donna and her hatred for Samcro but soon Tara riding her husband eclipsed the memory of the slayed mother. Gemma didn't stick around for Samcro parties and it was late and Abel needed to sleep, so Wendy pulled away from the clubhouse and rode to the Teller-Morrow residence. When she knocked on the door, Gemma opened the door and looked at Wendy with disappointment. It was like Gemma knew that Wendy lost the battle.

She motioned for Wendy to come inside and she made a remark about Tara calling. The good doctor asked if Gemma could watch Abel for the night and Wendy felt the hatred for Tara boil over to the surface. Wendy knew that Jax and Tara wanted to spend the night reconnecting. She bitterly thought about how they would probably spend the whole night fucking and laughing and just being in love and a few more tears slipped out.

Gemma smirked and actually said, "you thought you had a chance against her, didn't you?" Gemma, then shook her head and walked away to return a few minutes later. She gave Wendy a wad of cash. Gemma then told her to wait outside while the prospect came to take her to a motel. Wendy protested and said her son was in the Teller-Morrow residence and she had the right to be with him. Gemma scoffed and glared at Wendy until Wendy lowered her eyes to the floor. Wendy knew she lost the right to call Abel her son in front of Gemma the same say she jammed a needle in her arm. Wendy then mumbled that she was Jax's Old Lady and that she couldn't ride in another man's bike. Gemma walked to the door and opened it. "You are not his Old Lady. Never been, never will; that title has always belonged to Tara. Sorry sweetheart." Wendy, then looked at Gemma. Gemma looked annoyed and she motioned with her head for Wendy to get out. When Wendy stepped outside, Gemma gave her one last look. "Tears are for the weak," and she slammed the door in Wendy's face.

But she never wiped them off her face, even when the prospect arrived to pick her up. She vowed not to hide behind a mask and the prospect gave her a small smile and a look of pity.

The second time her hatred for Tara Knowles boiled to the surface was a few days later.

Even though her mind and heart told her to run as far away from Charming as possible, Wendy couldn't do it. She loved her kid too much. She tried to see him a couple of times but Jax wasn't around much to allow her. For the most part, Gemma always had him and she didn't want to get into it with her. Plus Gemma always scared her. With the cash Gemma gave her, she rented out a car and drove to her former house hoping to catch Jax in there. When she arrived, instead of Jax's bike, she saw Tara's Cutlass and she felt her anger bubbling within her.

She stomped to her front door and tried to open it. The doctor didn't trust the residents of Charming like Jax did since the front door was locked. So Wendy knocked loudly and a few minutes later Tara opened the door. She looked surprised to see Wendy but she quickly stepped aside and allowed for Wendy to come in. Wendy walked right into the living room and her body grew hot when memories of Jax and Tara in the living room came to mind. She turned and saw that Tara had crossed her arms in front of her a look of serenity on her face. Wendy hated her more then.

The doctor was naturally beautiful not a trace of makeup on her face, her hair pulled in a high ponytail. She wore a simple black tank top and jeans. Wendy noted the dark hickey on Tara's neck and beard burns on her collarbone and she was about to tell the good doctor off when Abel started to cry. Tara excused herself and told Wendy to have a seat that Jax should be arriving soon.

Wendy wanted to tell her to fuck off that Abel was her son but Tara had already turned away and was walking towards the nursery. The fact that Tara was familiar with her house made her sad and confused. Abel's cries quieted down and Wendy stood rooted on the spot when she heard the keys turn in the lock. Jax came in, carrying two suitcases in each hand and a duffel bag over his shoulder. He must have taken his truck since she didn't hear the roar of his motorcycle. He looked surprised to see her and he even gave her one of his rare smiles while he greeted her.

He told her he would be back and he walked towards the back taking the bags with him. Part of her still held hope but she knew they were over.

He same back a few minutes later and told her to sit. He sat next to her and faced her a sad smile on his face. He even held her hand as he told her that their marriage was over and that he would always be grateful towards her for Abel. He promised that Abel would be safe with them and Wendy jumped a bit when Jax said them. Jax noticed and he looked embarrassed for a moment. He whispered an apology and mumbled something about Tara being great with Abel.

Wendy got on her feet and was about to scream her frustrations when that woman walked in with her son in her arms. Tara was bouncing him on her chest, her chin on top his small head, a content smile on Abel's face. Wendy's felt the tears rolling down her cheeks and Tara asked her if she wanted to hold him. Wendy nodded her head and Tara gracefully handed over Abel. Abel looked at Wendy with those beautiful blue eyes and Wendy fell in love with her son even more. She knew she had to fight for him, even if her marriage was over.

She was about to tell both Jax and Tara that she wasn't going to go anywhere when Abel started whimpering. Those whimpers soon became desperate cries and Jax held his arms out for his son. Wendy ignored Jax and tried to bounce Abel up and down in her chest, just like Tara was doing moments before. But Abel's cries just became louder and never had Wendy felt like such a failure. Jax took his son in his arms and did the same bouncing thing but Abel couldn't be comforted. He turned towards Tara and she gently took the crying baby in her arms and like magic, Abel's crying became whimpers and then he was silent, a small fist clutching her tank top his eyes daring Jax and Wendy to rip him from Tara's arms once again.

Tara said she was going to make him a bottle and she walked to the kitchen, her soft voice singing some old rock song to Abel.

Jax cleared his throat and Wendy looked at her soon to be ex-husband. Jax, who was Gemma's son, reached into his pocket and gave Wendy a wad of cash. He told her to move to her sober living that all will be fine in Charming. She asked what would happen once she was done with sober living and Jax just shook his head. "We'll cross that bridge once we come to it."

She hated him but she loved him.

She walked out of that house with a heavy heart and she looked through the kitchen window one last time. Tara was there making silly faces at her giggling son. She saw Jax walk in and he placed a kiss on his son's head and then on Tara's lips. Their kiss lingered and Abel squealed making Jax pull away. He said something that had Tara laughing and all three of them looked so happy in the same kitchen were she almost OD'd to death.

As Wendy walked to her rental, the tears were still rolling and she fucking swore she never hated anyone as much as she hated Tara Knowles. Not even her prostitute of a mother and Charlie, her mother's lover who molested Wendy all throughout her teenage years.

The third time her hatred for Tara boiled over was a few months later. She had been away from Charming for over a year and Wendy was proud she had gotten her shit together. She was going to classes at a community college and she was clean and sober. She even started dating women, Jax Teller scarring her for life.

She heard that Jax was in jail for a felony. She still had a few friends who were croweaters that called her once in a while to give her an update on Abel. As soon as she heard he went in, she went to see a lawyer. The lawyer asked the appropriate questions but when Wendy told her that Abel almost died due to her drug abuse the lawyer gave Wendy a sad smile. But Wendy insisted that Abel should be with her and the lawyer politely asked who was taking care of Abel. Wendy admitted that it was more likely Tara, the successful surgeon who saved Abel's life.

The lawyer then was brusquely honest and told Wendy that she would never win a battle against the brilliant doctor, if Wendy decides to take her to court. Wendy had just gotten sober after an extensive history of drug abuse and was barely standing on her own two feet. Tara was a successful surgeon who had save not only her son but probably countless others. A judge would favor the doctor not a recovering junkie.

Wendy arrived to her small, dark apartment in tears but she swore she'll do better for her son. About two months later, she opened her mailbox and saw a massive manila envelop. She opened it as soon as she walked into her apartment and the legal papers were a slap to her face.

They wanted her to give up her rights as a parent. She felt furious and outraged and she was about to rip the papers to shreds when a smaller manila envelope fell on the floor. She placed the legal papers on the coffee table and opened the other manila envelope.

There was a hand written letter and a picture of Abel. He was laughing in the picture, his two small lower teeth fully on display. Wendy was astounded to see that Abel looked just like Jax, no traces of her anywhere in the baby's face. Her heart grew heavy as she opened the letter, the neat handwriting being an indicator that it was Tara who wrote the letter not Jax.

In it she admitted to being pregnant with Jax's second son and Wendy wasn't shocked given what she witnessed the night of Donna's funeral. Tara wrote that Abel was growing beautifully and stronger with each passing day. Tara wrote that he was safe and was growing up in a loving home. She asked Wendy to do the right thing by signing over her rights. She and Jax loved the little boy and would only provide stability that Wendy couldn't due to her history of drug abuse and neglect. She even pointed out that Abel had the right to grow up with his little brother. Tara said that if there were a day Wendy wanted to come by and see the boy to let her know and that she would talk to Jax. Tara promised to never fully shut the door on a Wendy and Abel relationship unlike Jax who didn't want Wendy anywhere near his son.

Wendy ripped Tara's letter to shreds, not finishing it growing angrier by the minute.

Tara Knowles had everything she ever wanted including her son and the only man she has ever loved.

She was so blinded by her anger that she walked to the nearest liquor store and bought the biggest bottle of whiskey she could find.

She walked back to her apartment and was about to take a swing of the liquor when she saw Abel's picture. Instead of drinking, she put the bottle down and stared at the picture of her son. He looked happy and healthy and the guilty of almost killing him was eating her alive.

So before she lost her courage, she picked up a pen and signed the damn papers and walked them to the nearest post office.

When she arrived back to her apartment she emptied the bottle of booze in the sink and called her sponsor. She still wasn't right and she needed the help.

But she swore she'll be better for kid and that one day she'll return for him, Jax Teller and Tara Knowles be damn.

She promised herself that over and over again until part of her started believing it. But the other part knew that she would never measure up to the great Tara Knowles. Not to Jax and most of all not to Abel, who clearly loved the woman who saved his life.

And in the pit of her stomach, Wendy knew she would always be second best to the good old doctor—and for that she will always hate Tara Knowles.