* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I woke up in a dream today
To the cold of the static
Put my cold feet on the floor
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My eyes opened, wakened by the unusual chill in the air. something's missing I realized numbly. I turned my head slowly and my eyes swept over the empty space where Ryou has slept ever since he began having those nightmares. Strange- Ryou always slept later than I, complacent in his Yami's protection. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, wincing at the cold tiles beneath my already cold feet and the slight rush of dizziness upon standing up.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Forgot about yesterday
Remembering, I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore
A little taste of hypocrisy
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake
Slow to react
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I shook my head groggily and as the fogs of sleep rolled apart in my mind, my brain registered that -Ryou was gone-.
I stood there for a moment, trying to figure out with my still-bleary mind what was going on. Then, with quickly indrawn breath, I remembered.
x|flashback|x
Ryou had gotten home late last night from a date with Seto Kaiba to find me on the couch; in what he thought was sleep. The TV was flickering in front of me, and a half-finished cup of white wine resided next to me on the coffee table. I allowed Ryou to entertain the foolish idea of me being asleep and therefore harmless as I thought about my pitiful weakness with mounting anger. To my immense chagrin, I had tried to gain Ryou's affections, doing anything possible that would bring a smile to his lips, cherishing those aforementioned smiles, and anything he said or did that may indicate something more than an uneasy truce between a Yami and his Aibou. Then, the day had come when my world shattered; Seto Kaiba asked Ryou out and Ryou -accepted- leaving my heart to break and lie in the dust.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Even though you're so close to me,
You're still so distant
And I can't bring you back
It's true
The way I feel
What is promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me
I'm with you
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My eyes opened and I made my presence felt by Ryou. Ryou turned around and said in his gentle voice, "Oh, I'm sorry, Yami, did I wake you up?"
My voice was deceptively pleasant and courteous in my reply. "Not at all, I wasn't sleeping, Aibou."
Ryou looked a bit nonplussed but only said blandly, "Oh." He seemed about to say more, but I overrode him.
"How was your date? Was it fun? Did he," My eyes darkened, "Did he -kiss- you good night?"
Ryou, completely unaware about what effect his answer made answered easily, "Oh yes, it was great. It was really fun to get out of the house and actually have something to do on a Friday night. We're going out again next Thursday," Ryou said, smiling brightly at his Yami, not knowing the effects of his innocuous words, not knowing that his words were driving a blade into an already bleeding wound.
I gritted my teeth and spat out between them, "I -said- did he kiss you good night?"
Ryou, "No, of course not, this is only our first date! But he did hug me and gave me a peck on the cheek..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
You, now I see, giving everything inside
With you
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes
With you
You, now I see, giving everything inside
With you
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes
With you
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
And in a flash, he was against the wall, pinned by my weight. "Oh, really," I said, still keeping up the pretense of having a conversation with him over tea and crumpets. "I'm glad for you." My eyes narrowed. "Really, I am."
Ryou's eyes widened with fear and consternation, as if wondering what he did wrong. He really had no idea...
"Y-Yami? What's wrong?"
I laughed bitterly. I could see Kaiba and Ryou hugging, and Kaiba kissing Ryou's cheek, and Ryou's eyes filled with a happiness I never saw because he was -never- happy around me. The salt was in the wound, the pain burning through me, leaving no reason in its wake.
Ryou spoke through our mind link
/Yami, please don't do what I think you're going to do/
//and what, pray tell, do you think I'm going to do?//
A pause.
/Hurt me/ a slightly hysterical edge. /And I couldn't bear that/
//Too bad//
/Please... don't hurt me like you did before.../
What was the point of withholding the blows? Reining in the anger? I would never have him anyway. I threw him against the far wall almost casually and stalked over to where Ryou lay in a crumpled heap. Smirking sadistically, I kicked him in the ribs with booted feet and brutal force.
/Onegai.../ Ryou pleaded weakly, knowing his pleading was to no avail /yamete.../
//You were always too weak, Hikari//
I hauled him up and punched him in the stomach, gaining a small 'oof' from my Aibou, and brought clenched fists down upon his bowed head. I felt no remorse. That would come later when the fires of anger didn't cloud my judgment.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I hit you and you hit me back
We fall to the floor
The rest of the day stands still
Find love between this and that
But when things go wrong,
I pretend that the past isn't real
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I turned around and headed for our- my bedroom. Tonight's entertainment was over.
/I heard that, Yami/
//So?//
/Is that really what you think when you're beating me up? when you're -hurting- me?/
//Depends on my mood//
/Your mood? YOUR MOOD?!/
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I'm trapped in this memory
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake
Slow to react
And even when you're so close to me
You're still so distant
And I can't bring you back
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Hysterical laughter met my ears, and a sudden weight was on my back, bearing me down. He began buffeting me... with a pillow...
//A pillow, Aibou?// I allowed amusement to seep through my comment. //Is that the best you can do?// I began to flip him over, ready to regain my position, when I saw the pillow raised above Ryou, then blur and become a glittering knife.
/Do you know what -my- mood is, Yami? Make a wild guess/ Ryou slashed with his knife, and the knife was just about to cut my bare arm when it blurred again and became a pillow once again. Even in anger, Ryou wouldn't- and couldn't hurt anyone.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It's true
The way I feel
What is promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me
I'm with you
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Standing up, Ryou tossed the pillow aside, and as it landed on the couch it became a knife again for a split second. His voice cold and his face expressionless, Ryou told me, "I told you not to hurt me." With that, he walked out the door, not a trace of sadness in his voice.
/I pleaded for you not to hurt me.../
I tried to say something, anything to him through our mind link but Ryou had effectively put up his mental defenses.
I couldn't speak to him, and he wouldn't speak to me.
x|end flashback|x
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
You, now I see, giving everything inside
With you
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes,
With you
You, now I see, giving everything inside,
With you
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes
With you
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I slowly went into the living room where evidence of our conflict still lingered: the wall against which Ryou had been thrown sported an askew painting and a very slight dent, showing just how hard I had thrown my Hikari. My eyes soften and thoughts uninvited flit across my mind. I didn't mean to be so forceful. For someone with such a slight, slim frame to make a dent in the wall- I shake my head. I'm surprised my Aibou hadn't pass out upon impact.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
I won't let you control my fate
While I'm holding the weight of the world on my conscience
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My eyes fall on the pillow, innocently lying on the couch among its fellows. Evidence of the closest Ryou had ever come to hurting -anyone-. Driven to near violence by me. I sit down on the couch and hug the pillow. And, staring into empty space, I begin to giggle hysterically, rocking back and forth. He hates me so much, he actually dragged out from that dank, dusty, cobwebby corner of his mind the Shadow Powers that I was so adept in. Yup, the best way of winning your love's heart is to beat him and drive him to the darkest regions of his very soul. I laugh harder; I would write books, go on talk shows, and become an advice columnist with that advice. Tears brim in my eyes, from my uncontrolled hysteria or something else, but I force them back. I haven't cried for nearly five hundred years, and I'm not about to start now.
Exerting extreme self-control, I shakily stand up and still my laughter. A walk is what I need, to empty my mind. Already, pictures of Ryou being comforted by Kaiba, beaming at this 'savior'. My mind's eye showing me my Hikari and Kaiba hugging, kissing...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
I won't just sit here and wait
While you're weighing your options, you're making a fool of me*~
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sternly, I banish these torturous thoughts and I walk quickly out of the door. I shall walk to a bar I know that doesn't care about age as long as you had money. Perhaps I could 'drown my sorry' or at least submerge it with headaches. I smile grimly at the thought. I create a wad of cash with the help of my Shadow Powers, and stuff it into my pocket. I take long strides, trying to leave those images behind.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
You didn't dare try to say that you don't care
And solemnly swear not to follow me there
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I walk up a rather steep hill, on the sidewalk that was next to the highway. As I crest the top of the hill, I stop, rooted to the spot by shock. There he was. My Hikari, my Aibou, my other half. The headlights of cars washed over him, illuminating him and glinting on tears that ran down his pale face. Why wasn't he with Kaiba? Why was he here? And then it hit me; a physical pain that nearly made me double over in agony. The pain...radiating from Ryou...
Surreptitiously, I slip into his mind and cut into the middle of Ryou's anguished thoughts.
/...I couldn't tell him what -really- happened last night, couldn't have told him I was- was -raped- and found by Jounouchi. Couldn't tell him that I stood Seto up and now he probably hates me. Couldn't couldn't couldn't just -couldn't-/
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
It ain't like me to beg on my knees
Oh please, oh baby, please, that's not how I want to do things
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Ryou shook his head violently.
/But... he should have felt it, should have known my smile was too bright, my story too happy. He should have -felt- the pain.../
His silver head bowed, and a rank, filthy monster climbed to my heart and clawed at the remnants of my heart, shredding it to infinitesimal, barely there pieces.
/...but he was too caught up in his anger... when I finally begin to trust him, to feel there was -somewhere- safe in this god-forsaken world... when all I needed was safety... he picked last night to revert back to his old ways... to -hurt- me again... but I suppose I should thank him, for without him lashing out at me, I wouldn't have dragged up from within myself the -power- that was always there... the power that would help me in my venture.../
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
No, I'm not upset, no I'm not angry
I know lover's love is love but sometimes it pains me
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
For a wild moment, I thought he was thinking of taking over the world, but I immediately discard that thought. I step forward, perhaps to say sorry, to admit the feelings I've tried so vainly to ignore, when I feel determination fill my Hikari, and the darkness of Shadow Power engulf him. I continue forward, thinking vaguely of helping him, of saving him, of stopping him from whatever he was planning to do. The Shadow Power begins to slowly drain away from my Aibou, but something's different about Ryou. He looks as beautiful and pure as usual, but now there's a definite sheen of darkness, settling about him like a cloak.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
I'll never be without you, I'll always be with you
You'll never forgive me, I'm keeping you with me*~
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
/Where I expect safety, I receive pain, where I expect love, I get brutal violence, where I expect to FINALLY HAVE A NORMAL LIFE, everything changes... the only way to free myself from pain is to not have expectations. But so long as I live, I will have expectations... this is the only way for me to free myself. The -only- way.../
What- what was Ryou thinking? What was this 'way'? I watch as my Hikari takes a deep breath; out of the corner of my eye, I could see a truck heading toward the spot next to where Ryou stood on the highway. My eyes widen with shock and my body stops moving, as Ryou steps into the middle of the bustling highway, directly in the path of the oncoming truck.
The truck barreled forward, and I wonder why it didn't stop, didn't brake. Couldn't the damn driver see?!! Then a wave of understanding cascades over me, pulling me under, drowning me in horror and guilt. Ryou was going to kill himself! That cloak of darkness he made from Shadow Powers that I evoked was to conceal him from the rest of the world! That driver wouldn't know a thing until he plowed headlong into my beautiful, frail Aibou.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
No I won't let you take me to the end of my world
Where you bar it and torture my soul
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Time seemed to slow and congeal around me as I jerked my body into desperate motion, and yet seemed to become impossibly fast, making the truck fly toward my love.
//It's my fault, Hikari. I was the one who made you discover the Shadows...//
/Bakura..?/
Sadness enters my beloved's voice.
/The world hurts me, life hurts me, -you- hurt me...this is the only way to escape pain.../
Tears burst forth from me.
//Don't...onegai...don't do this to me!//
/Don't cry, Yami, but rejoice! I have found the way to defeat Pain and Misery! I go... into a happier death...let me find happiness.../
I rush toward where my love stands, his unwavering gaze on me and bestowing his gentle smile upon my unworthy self as he waited for Death. I was too slow...too late...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
No I'm not your puppet
And no, no, no I won't let you go
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Then, I was there. Ryou's calm shatters as my hands push him out of the way with all the strength in me, sending him sprawling out of danger back onto the sidewalk that was on the other side. Using my Shadow Powers, I bound him to the sidewalk so he wouldn't foolishly attempt to save me or to try and die with me.
The truck bore down on me-
//I'm sorry, Ryou...//
the headlights blind me-
//I should've known//
the bellowing horn deafened me...
//Aishiteru, Ryou...//
and the tears of my Hikari kills me
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
No matter how far we've come I can't wait to see tomorrow
No matter how far we've come I can't wait to see tomorrow
With you
You, now I see, giving everything inside
With you
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes
With you
You, now I see, giving everything inside
With you
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
[owari]
I woke up in a dream today
To the cold of the static
Put my cold feet on the floor
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My eyes opened, wakened by the unusual chill in the air. something's missing I realized numbly. I turned my head slowly and my eyes swept over the empty space where Ryou has slept ever since he began having those nightmares. Strange- Ryou always slept later than I, complacent in his Yami's protection. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, wincing at the cold tiles beneath my already cold feet and the slight rush of dizziness upon standing up.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Forgot about yesterday
Remembering, I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore
A little taste of hypocrisy
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake
Slow to react
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I shook my head groggily and as the fogs of sleep rolled apart in my mind, my brain registered that -Ryou was gone-.
I stood there for a moment, trying to figure out with my still-bleary mind what was going on. Then, with quickly indrawn breath, I remembered.
x|flashback|x
Ryou had gotten home late last night from a date with Seto Kaiba to find me on the couch; in what he thought was sleep. The TV was flickering in front of me, and a half-finished cup of white wine resided next to me on the coffee table. I allowed Ryou to entertain the foolish idea of me being asleep and therefore harmless as I thought about my pitiful weakness with mounting anger. To my immense chagrin, I had tried to gain Ryou's affections, doing anything possible that would bring a smile to his lips, cherishing those aforementioned smiles, and anything he said or did that may indicate something more than an uneasy truce between a Yami and his Aibou. Then, the day had come when my world shattered; Seto Kaiba asked Ryou out and Ryou -accepted- leaving my heart to break and lie in the dust.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Even though you're so close to me,
You're still so distant
And I can't bring you back
It's true
The way I feel
What is promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me
I'm with you
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My eyes opened and I made my presence felt by Ryou. Ryou turned around and said in his gentle voice, "Oh, I'm sorry, Yami, did I wake you up?"
My voice was deceptively pleasant and courteous in my reply. "Not at all, I wasn't sleeping, Aibou."
Ryou looked a bit nonplussed but only said blandly, "Oh." He seemed about to say more, but I overrode him.
"How was your date? Was it fun? Did he," My eyes darkened, "Did he -kiss- you good night?"
Ryou, completely unaware about what effect his answer made answered easily, "Oh yes, it was great. It was really fun to get out of the house and actually have something to do on a Friday night. We're going out again next Thursday," Ryou said, smiling brightly at his Yami, not knowing the effects of his innocuous words, not knowing that his words were driving a blade into an already bleeding wound.
I gritted my teeth and spat out between them, "I -said- did he kiss you good night?"
Ryou, "No, of course not, this is only our first date! But he did hug me and gave me a peck on the cheek..."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
You, now I see, giving everything inside
With you
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes
With you
You, now I see, giving everything inside
With you
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes
With you
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
And in a flash, he was against the wall, pinned by my weight. "Oh, really," I said, still keeping up the pretense of having a conversation with him over tea and crumpets. "I'm glad for you." My eyes narrowed. "Really, I am."
Ryou's eyes widened with fear and consternation, as if wondering what he did wrong. He really had no idea...
"Y-Yami? What's wrong?"
I laughed bitterly. I could see Kaiba and Ryou hugging, and Kaiba kissing Ryou's cheek, and Ryou's eyes filled with a happiness I never saw because he was -never- happy around me. The salt was in the wound, the pain burning through me, leaving no reason in its wake.
Ryou spoke through our mind link
/Yami, please don't do what I think you're going to do/
//and what, pray tell, do you think I'm going to do?//
A pause.
/Hurt me/ a slightly hysterical edge. /And I couldn't bear that/
//Too bad//
/Please... don't hurt me like you did before.../
What was the point of withholding the blows? Reining in the anger? I would never have him anyway. I threw him against the far wall almost casually and stalked over to where Ryou lay in a crumpled heap. Smirking sadistically, I kicked him in the ribs with booted feet and brutal force.
/Onegai.../ Ryou pleaded weakly, knowing his pleading was to no avail /yamete.../
//You were always too weak, Hikari//
I hauled him up and punched him in the stomach, gaining a small 'oof' from my Aibou, and brought clenched fists down upon his bowed head. I felt no remorse. That would come later when the fires of anger didn't cloud my judgment.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I hit you and you hit me back
We fall to the floor
The rest of the day stands still
Find love between this and that
But when things go wrong,
I pretend that the past isn't real
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I turned around and headed for our- my bedroom. Tonight's entertainment was over.
/I heard that, Yami/
//So?//
/Is that really what you think when you're beating me up? when you're -hurting- me?/
//Depends on my mood//
/Your mood? YOUR MOOD?!/
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I'm trapped in this memory
And I'm left in the wake of the mistake
Slow to react
And even when you're so close to me
You're still so distant
And I can't bring you back
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Hysterical laughter met my ears, and a sudden weight was on my back, bearing me down. He began buffeting me... with a pillow...
//A pillow, Aibou?// I allowed amusement to seep through my comment. //Is that the best you can do?// I began to flip him over, ready to regain my position, when I saw the pillow raised above Ryou, then blur and become a glittering knife.
/Do you know what -my- mood is, Yami? Make a wild guess/ Ryou slashed with his knife, and the knife was just about to cut my bare arm when it blurred again and became a pillow once again. Even in anger, Ryou wouldn't- and couldn't hurt anyone.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It's true
The way I feel
What is promised by your face
The sound of your voice
Painted on my memories
Even if you're not with me
I'm with you
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Standing up, Ryou tossed the pillow aside, and as it landed on the couch it became a knife again for a split second. His voice cold and his face expressionless, Ryou told me, "I told you not to hurt me." With that, he walked out the door, not a trace of sadness in his voice.
/I pleaded for you not to hurt me.../
I tried to say something, anything to him through our mind link but Ryou had effectively put up his mental defenses.
I couldn't speak to him, and he wouldn't speak to me.
x|end flashback|x
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
You, now I see, giving everything inside
With you
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes,
With you
You, now I see, giving everything inside,
With you
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes
With you
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I slowly went into the living room where evidence of our conflict still lingered: the wall against which Ryou had been thrown sported an askew painting and a very slight dent, showing just how hard I had thrown my Hikari. My eyes soften and thoughts uninvited flit across my mind. I didn't mean to be so forceful. For someone with such a slight, slim frame to make a dent in the wall- I shake my head. I'm surprised my Aibou hadn't pass out upon impact.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
I won't let you control my fate
While I'm holding the weight of the world on my conscience
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My eyes fall on the pillow, innocently lying on the couch among its fellows. Evidence of the closest Ryou had ever come to hurting -anyone-. Driven to near violence by me. I sit down on the couch and hug the pillow. And, staring into empty space, I begin to giggle hysterically, rocking back and forth. He hates me so much, he actually dragged out from that dank, dusty, cobwebby corner of his mind the Shadow Powers that I was so adept in. Yup, the best way of winning your love's heart is to beat him and drive him to the darkest regions of his very soul. I laugh harder; I would write books, go on talk shows, and become an advice columnist with that advice. Tears brim in my eyes, from my uncontrolled hysteria or something else, but I force them back. I haven't cried for nearly five hundred years, and I'm not about to start now.
Exerting extreme self-control, I shakily stand up and still my laughter. A walk is what I need, to empty my mind. Already, pictures of Ryou being comforted by Kaiba, beaming at this 'savior'. My mind's eye showing me my Hikari and Kaiba hugging, kissing...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
I won't just sit here and wait
While you're weighing your options, you're making a fool of me*~
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Sternly, I banish these torturous thoughts and I walk quickly out of the door. I shall walk to a bar I know that doesn't care about age as long as you had money. Perhaps I could 'drown my sorry' or at least submerge it with headaches. I smile grimly at the thought. I create a wad of cash with the help of my Shadow Powers, and stuff it into my pocket. I take long strides, trying to leave those images behind.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
You didn't dare try to say that you don't care
And solemnly swear not to follow me there
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I walk up a rather steep hill, on the sidewalk that was next to the highway. As I crest the top of the hill, I stop, rooted to the spot by shock. There he was. My Hikari, my Aibou, my other half. The headlights of cars washed over him, illuminating him and glinting on tears that ran down his pale face. Why wasn't he with Kaiba? Why was he here? And then it hit me; a physical pain that nearly made me double over in agony. The pain...radiating from Ryou...
Surreptitiously, I slip into his mind and cut into the middle of Ryou's anguished thoughts.
/...I couldn't tell him what -really- happened last night, couldn't have told him I was- was -raped- and found by Jounouchi. Couldn't tell him that I stood Seto up and now he probably hates me. Couldn't couldn't couldn't just -couldn't-/
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
It ain't like me to beg on my knees
Oh please, oh baby, please, that's not how I want to do things
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Ryou shook his head violently.
/But... he should have felt it, should have known my smile was too bright, my story too happy. He should have -felt- the pain.../
His silver head bowed, and a rank, filthy monster climbed to my heart and clawed at the remnants of my heart, shredding it to infinitesimal, barely there pieces.
/...but he was too caught up in his anger... when I finally begin to trust him, to feel there was -somewhere- safe in this god-forsaken world... when all I needed was safety... he picked last night to revert back to his old ways... to -hurt- me again... but I suppose I should thank him, for without him lashing out at me, I wouldn't have dragged up from within myself the -power- that was always there... the power that would help me in my venture.../
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
No, I'm not upset, no I'm not angry
I know lover's love is love but sometimes it pains me
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
For a wild moment, I thought he was thinking of taking over the world, but I immediately discard that thought. I step forward, perhaps to say sorry, to admit the feelings I've tried so vainly to ignore, when I feel determination fill my Hikari, and the darkness of Shadow Power engulf him. I continue forward, thinking vaguely of helping him, of saving him, of stopping him from whatever he was planning to do. The Shadow Power begins to slowly drain away from my Aibou, but something's different about Ryou. He looks as beautiful and pure as usual, but now there's a definite sheen of darkness, settling about him like a cloak.
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No
I'll never be without you, I'll always be with you
You'll never forgive me, I'm keeping you with me*~
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/Where I expect safety, I receive pain, where I expect love, I get brutal violence, where I expect to FINALLY HAVE A NORMAL LIFE, everything changes... the only way to free myself from pain is to not have expectations. But so long as I live, I will have expectations... this is the only way for me to free myself. The -only- way.../
What- what was Ryou thinking? What was this 'way'? I watch as my Hikari takes a deep breath; out of the corner of my eye, I could see a truck heading toward the spot next to where Ryou stood on the highway. My eyes widen with shock and my body stops moving, as Ryou steps into the middle of the bustling highway, directly in the path of the oncoming truck.
The truck barreled forward, and I wonder why it didn't stop, didn't brake. Couldn't the damn driver see?!! Then a wave of understanding cascades over me, pulling me under, drowning me in horror and guilt. Ryou was going to kill himself! That cloak of darkness he made from Shadow Powers that I evoked was to conceal him from the rest of the world! That driver wouldn't know a thing until he plowed headlong into my beautiful, frail Aibou.
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No
No I won't let you take me to the end of my world
Where you bar it and torture my soul
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Time seemed to slow and congeal around me as I jerked my body into desperate motion, and yet seemed to become impossibly fast, making the truck fly toward my love.
//It's my fault, Hikari. I was the one who made you discover the Shadows...//
/Bakura..?/
Sadness enters my beloved's voice.
/The world hurts me, life hurts me, -you- hurt me...this is the only way to escape pain.../
Tears burst forth from me.
//Don't...onegai...don't do this to me!//
/Don't cry, Yami, but rejoice! I have found the way to defeat Pain and Misery! I go... into a happier death...let me find happiness.../
I rush toward where my love stands, his unwavering gaze on me and bestowing his gentle smile upon my unworthy self as he waited for Death. I was too slow...too late...
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
No I'm not your puppet
And no, no, no I won't let you go
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Then, I was there. Ryou's calm shatters as my hands push him out of the way with all the strength in me, sending him sprawling out of danger back onto the sidewalk that was on the other side. Using my Shadow Powers, I bound him to the sidewalk so he wouldn't foolishly attempt to save me or to try and die with me.
The truck bore down on me-
//I'm sorry, Ryou...//
the headlights blind me-
//I should've known//
the bellowing horn deafened me...
//Aishiteru, Ryou...//
and the tears of my Hikari kills me
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
No
No matter how far we've come I can't wait to see tomorrow
No matter how far we've come I can't wait to see tomorrow
With you
You, now I see, giving everything inside
With you
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes
With you
You, now I see, giving everything inside
With you
You, now I see, even when I close my eyes
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
[owari]