"I'm Gracie, I'm 14, 15 next month, I live in a group home. There are 7 other girls there. My mom died giving birth to me and my dad killed himself when I was seven. I've been moved to a lot of homes because my foster parents would always get irritated with me, up until I started middle school, I was mute, that's why they all hated me, I would never say what I want. So, my social worker put me in a group home, I stayed there until I was 13 then got moved to the one that I'm in now."

"And what's your illness Gracie?" The group leader asks.

"I have depression and PTSD. They started when my dad killed himself, I was the one who found him. I got really bad, I cut myself, I even tried to kill myself a few times, but I'm 3 months clean right now." My friend takes my hand, I smile at her. "I'm doing okay, I mean it's difficult living in the group home, the kids are kind of scary sometimes. But my roommate is okay, we don't really talk much. I'm still looking for a permanent foster home though. My goal is to get adopted.

"Thank you, Gracie. Would anyone else like to speak?" I sit back down next to Sophia. We met here, in our mental disorder support group. She's been a very good friend to me.

"That was really brave G." She whispers to me. I smile at her. When I started the group, I didn't talk to anyone, but after meeting Sophia I've managed to say a little something every week, I've been building up the courage to tell the whole story, and I've finally done. It might not have been in great depth but it's enough for me. After group, Sophia and I go to her house, I've been over a few times and hung out with her and her family on their yacht, but today her half-sister Callie is going to be there, she's wanted me to meet her for a while now.

We sit in Sophia's room watching TV. Then Callie arrives, I stand up to introduce myself.

"Hi, I'm Gracie." I shake her hand.

"I'm Callie, Sophia's told me a lot about you." She seems nice, she's very pretty.

"Yeah, I've heard about you too."

"Come on guys, we're just about to have dinner." Sophia leads us both downstairs.

"So, you live in a group home? I used to live in one too." Callie says to me.

"Yeah, Sophia told me, it can be pretty scary," I say.

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find your family." She says and smiles at me.

"No one really wants teenagers."

"You'd be surprised, I found my family when I was 15, don't give up okay?" She gives me a hug and we all go outside for dinner.

I really enjoy spending time with Sophia's parents, they may be a little bit snobbish, but they really make me feel comfortable.

"How was group today girls?" Her dad Robert asks.

"It was good, Gracie told her story," Sophia says, my cheeks turn slightly red.

"You did? Well done Gracie, I know that must have been difficult for you." Her mom says.

"Thank you, yeah it was scary, but I had my best friend by my side."

"That's so sweet, I wish I had a friend like that," Callie says.

"You have me, and Mariana, and your brothers, and AJ, and Daphne and all the other girls."

"Wow, I guess you're right."

"Sometimes it's hard to see what you have until someone points it out, I wish I had everything you had Callie," I say.

"Hey, let's not emotional, besides, you have us," Sophia says. I hug her.

"Eat your dinner girls, we're gonna watch a movie when we're done," Robert says.

"Is it okay if I stay?" I ask.

"Of course, don't be silly Gracie, you're always welcome here."

"Thank you."

We begin watching the movie 'Hook' when I get up and go to the bathroom. I may have lied earlier in group. I'm not exactly three months clean, I'd say it's more like three hours. I've had a rough week. One of the girls in my home is giving me a hard time, she saw my scars once and since then she's been telling me I need to cut deeper and kill myself, so she doesn't have to. I don't know why she hates me so much. Her name is Eileen and she's a little bit crazy. I count my blessings that she's not my roommate. Since I stood up in group, I've felt the urge to cut. I quietly rifle through the medicine cabinet in the family bathroom. I find Roberts razor blades. I've never cut with something so sharp, but I don't even hesitate to pull one out of the box and drag across my upper forearm. There's a lot of blood, but it brings me joy. I put everything away and hold down some toilet paper on the cut. I sit on the floor for a little while, until I hear the door knock.

"Uh, one second." I rush to try and stop the bleeding, but it drips over the counter and the floor.

"It's Callie, you've been in there for a while are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'll be out in a sec, my voice cracks."

"I'm coming in." She swings the door open to see me covered in blood. I stand there in shock, she does the same, before closing the door behind her. She takes my arm and wipes the blood away, she goes through the cabinet and finds a bandage. "Sit down." I put the toilet seat down and take a seat. She crouches in front of me and begins wrapping my arm up.

"Thank you, you shouldn't have to do this."

"I'm not doing because I have to. I'm doing it because I care. Any friend of Sophia's is a friend of mine." She secures the bandage up and sits cross-legged on the floor. "Now do you wanna talk about it?" I sit staring at her for a second.

"I don't know why I'm like this. I'm getting better though, I go to support group, I have a counsellor and I take pills for my PTSD, but I still get depressed. Please don't tell anyone. I've told Sophia I've been clean for 3 months, and I was until this week."

"Why? What happened this week?" She asks, and I tell her about Eileen. "I would tell you to tell the person in charge at your home, but if I'm honest it might only make things worse. Just avoid her as much as can, and if it gets worse or more frequent, then request a transfer."

"I can handle it, but please, don't tell Sophia. I'm trying my hardest to stop, I promise." She looks down at my bandaged arm and pulls my sleeve down.

"I won't. Do you want me to walk home?" It's incredible, Sophia said we would get along, she was right.

"Yeah, okay." We go back out to the living room. "Hey sorry about that, I just had a tough day. Thank you for dinner though. I'm gonna head home now."

"That's okay, do you want a ride?" Robert asks.

"No, it's okay, we're gonna walk. Gracie lives on the way to mine anyway. Thanks for having me."

"Text me when your home G." Sophia hugs me and Callie and I start walking, it's already kind of dark.

"How's your arm now?" She asks.

"I think it's stopped bleeding, thanks again for that, I feel a lot better."

"You can talk to me anytime you need, and of course Sophia, she's your best friend." I smile at her.

"So, tell me about your family."

"Well there's me, my brother Jude, Jesus and Mariana who are twins, then there's Brandon who lives with his girlfriend, and my mom's Stef and Lena. I have it pretty good, though it wasn't easy getting here. There was a lot of complications with my adoption and stuff like that. But it's all worked out now."

"Is that why you had to go to the group home?"

"Yeah, my moms' foster license expired before I got adopted so I stayed at Girls United for a bit, it was scary, like you said, but we all developed a pretty good relationship with each other. I still visit them a lot now."

"I don't think I'll visit anyone when I finally get out." We reach my group home. I just stand there and look up to my bedroom window."

"I can come in if you want, talk to your care worker about today."

"No, it's okay, if she found out I was struggling again she'd send me back to a different home."

"Well isn't that what you want?" She starts walking up, but I yank her back.

"No Callie, please don't. It wouldn't be any home, it would be a special one, for kids who aren't all there. She's been threatening to send me there for a while now, I've got one more strike before she sends me there." I tear up a little, Callie hugs me and I break down. "I'm sorry, it's just all so scary."

"Don't apologize, you're gonna be okay. Just keep your head down. I'll see you soon." She sends me on my way, waiting at the top of the path until I go in the house. Before I even knock Jenna, the care worker opens the door.

"Cutting a bit fine aren't we Gracie?" I look back at Callie, she smiles. Jenna closes the door behind me.

"Sorry, I walked home with Sophia's sister."

"I don't care, go to bed." She walks off into the living room. I do as she says and go up to my room. My roommate Amy is in there.

"Hey," I say.

"Hi." She's never been very chatty. I get ready for bed and as I'm getting into my pyjamas, I notice I've bled through my bandage, a lot. I unwrap it and it starts gushing again, I try to everything I can to stop the bleeding, but it just doesn't stop, it runs down my arm, onto my pyjamas and all over the floor. I hold clump after clump of tissue paper on it, but it soaks through all of it, now there's none left. I sit down on the floor and start using the hand towels, then I try to get up and get the bigger towels, but I can't find the strength to get up. I find myself becoming breathless, and it's getting more and more difficult to keep my eyes open. My legs and arms go limp, I slide down the wall and I'm lying on the bathroom floor. I stare up at the ceiling fan before everything blurs into darkness.