dood srry this took so long, i had trouble coming up w/ what to write. im still not satisfied w/ this chapter but i cant work on it anymore, im burned out.

Conan loves puzzles, he loves it when everything slides together perfectly to complete a whole distinguishable picture. It's a satisfying feeling when he just knows how something works, how something happened and how someone became who they are.

So he feels himself alight with giddiness, satisfaction, as he has one clue closer to the Black Organization. Honestly, it wasn't much; he definitely has a long way to go. But weeks of frustration and paper crumbling brought him this new slot of information, it was better than nothing. It was one more piece to a complex wide puzzle.

He flopped down on his bed with a sigh, his 12 year old muscles felt way too sore than they should be and his eyes felt tired and droopy from hours of no blinking, reading, analyzing, drinking in every article for evidence.

It seems once Conan backed off from investigating for a week, the Organization deemed it safe enough to continue with their antiques – which he had dearly hoped would happen.

Either way, once you know the Orgs habits and patterns, it becomes quite simple to track them. The Org specializes in getting rid of risks and enemies with assassination while covering it up with either an accident or a person.

However, that doesn't make things easy peasy. Obviously that'd mean he'd have to analyze every case that fits that criteria to see if it was tampered with.

No one has the time or patience to scoundrel through 90% of Japans case files, which brings one last characteristic of the Black Organization.

It's rather continues behavior of using fire or explosives to hide their evidence.

You'd think an elusive underground company wouldn't use such a flamboyant way of hiding their crimes and while Conan would like to go into depth of how that might not be the greatest strategy – he's just going grateful about this fact.

Because recently the Organization has been very active in getting rid of areas where big amounts of illegal drugs were being produced in a very loud and fast approach.

It was a little weird and somewhat alarming because the Org likes to stay on the down low when it comes to their crimes, they don't like grabbing the media's attention too much.

Which made him second guess if it was even them but he had reviewed the type of bomb they thought was used – advanced, not something they heard of – and had went and done some field investigating at one of the sites they'd decided to implode. He'd found specialize designed bullets that weren't caught up on the explosion after some digging – it was definitely them.

While he isn't sure of what the reason is, it is something. A lot more than what he had these last few weeks. With such information he had even the potential to find out where they might strike next.

However, that isn't quite enough, is it? He'll need a plan first. His next goal should be to obtain the information the Organization is trying to hide.

And… Conan has a time limit and he doesn't even know how long. How long will the Organization keep their noses in illegal drug reproduction? If he acts too late, he has to start all over again.

Rubbing his head, he sighed, staring listlessly at the ceiling.

If only things were simple, but such a thing wasn't going to hold him back – he was going to get something out of this. He has to. No matter how little or big the outcome will be.

"Conan, you're late."

Conan flinched, looking up timidly at Rans scorching gaze.

"Sorry, Ran-neechan," he looked down, trying his best to look guilty, in a way that would melt Ran's heart.

He tried not to think about how manipulating that was.

As predicted, her voice came out softer, "At least call, ok?" She sighed with defeat, "You get into so much trouble; I get worried sick for you."

He twiddled with his thumbs while looking up, smiling sincerely at Ran, "You're right, I'll do that. I'm sorry for making you worry."

Ran smiled, soft and warm – Conan's heart fluttered at the sight – "Good, now get the table ready, Dad will be home soon."

Conan did as told, getting the plates and utensils from the kitchen in a neat stack and carrying it out to the table. He aligned it without thinking about much, the task so routine to him at this point, as he set up 3 rice bowls, plates, chopsticks and little saucers.

His stomach absently groaned in protest when his nose caught the scent of Ran's cooking. Right, he had only eaten a bit of breakfast today – his body was not happy with him right now.

On top of that he was rather tired, he slaved his mind over case after case to the point where his brain felt a bit fuzzy.

He glanced at the clock slightly dizzy, his mind fogging with old memories of Ran getting upset at him, as Shinichi, whenever he'd forget to take care of himself. Unconsciously, he smiled fondly at the memory.

"Conan," Ran called from the kitchen, startling him from his thoughts, "Can you help me?"

"Okay!" he called back probably a bit too quick and stumbled passed Ran who only quirked an amused eyebrow at his sudden clumsiness.

"Get the other tray, please."

Nodding, he got said tray from the counter, feeling a mix of dread and enjoyment that he can reach the damn thing. He was growing… the thought made his fists clench tighter around the tray handles.

He couldn't spend another year in this body, he wants to go back. Shinichi just wants to be himself.

Something must have shown on his face while he was putting the tray on the dinner table because Ran tapped his shoulder with a concerned smile.

"Is something on your mind?"

Conan automatically faked a smile, "Just thinking about school," he lied without flinching, the act so fluid and easy it made him sick

Ran's eyes sparkled, causing Conan's heart to leap, "Oh? How's school been?" She asked while casually serving his empty plate with food.

"It's okay," he smiled sheepishly, "Our teachers nice, the work's okay."

She smiled fondly, listening with care. She cared so much for him, for Conan – a fake kid he made up – he choked with guilt, his gaze drifting down at his plate. The idea of looking at Ran's face made his stomach quiver unpleasantly.

When had spending time with Ran start to feel so awful.

"Dad's late," she huffed, oblivious to Conan's inner turmoil as she glared heatedly at the clock, "Whatever, let's just eat without him."

Conan could only sheepishly smile as he picked up his chopsticks, wondering what was taking the old man so long this time – beer, gambling, woman, such endless possibilities.

He glanced at Ran from the corner of his eye, she seemed a lot more peeved than normal at Kogoro's antiques and Conan couldn't exactly blame her. Kogoro's outings have been quite frequent lately, Conan isn't sure if there's been a day where the man was sober.

And being drunk or hungover 24/7 isn't a practiced worth ethic, so money has been a little tight lately. While Conan's "parents" are helping a lot with the situation, it's still not quite enough to fully support them financially.

"I can't believe father is being like this," she grumbled, trying to be angry, but her eyes screamed concerned, "Maybe I shouldn't be surprised but… he at least has some decency, right?"

Conan paused, staring at his chopsticks. She's not wrong, while Kogoro isn't the most responsible person, he is a caring father… he wouldn't be the type to leave Ran to fend for herself.

While it may pain him a little, he'll give the man the benefit of the doubt, "I don't think it excuses his behavior but," he poked at his fish, "Maybe he's going through something?"

"But what would it be?"

Conan shrugged, looking up at Ran, "I don't know, but you should talk to him."

She looked unsure, "Do you think he'd tell me?"

Conan smiled sincerely, "Of course he will, if it's you."

Ran paused, staring at Conan as she seemed to think about his words, then she smiled – soft, sheepish, a little insecure but it held trust.

"Thank you, Conan-kun," She put down her chopsticks, staring right into Conan's eyes as she analyzed his face – Conan merely blinked in confusion.

"Is something wrong?"

Ran shook her head, "No," She smiled gently at him – it was so filled with love it caught Conan off guard, "I wanted to… thank you."

"For what?"

"For the other night," she whispered, looking down at her lap, "And I want to apologize, I didn't want you to see me cry like that…"

"Oh," Conan clenched his chopsticks, "That… don't worry about it Ran-neechan," he forced a smile, "We all have our days, its okay."

She shook her head again, "You're too sweet Conan-kun," she looked up at him, her smile and eyes so soft and gentle as she regarded him fully, "Honestly, thank you so much… your advice that day really helped me."

His heart plummeted, his smile felt so strained against his face – he wasn't sure if it looked normal, "Of course, Ran-neechan."

She put a hand over his that laid rest on the dinner table, he looked up at her, seeing such trust in her eyes for him, "Always remember, Conan-kun, if you ever need anything – I'll always be here for you."

He nearly closed his eyes in shame, but instead he forced a smile – full of guilt and loss, "Okay."

Weeks ago, he'd woken up to an indistinguishable noise. Confused, he patted softly downstairs to the office door, seeing the lights on – a little suspicious that it might be a thief, he put his ear to the door, straining to hear the source of the noise.

First, he heard a hiccup followed by sobs and sniffles – which Conan immediately recognizes (so uncomfortably familiar) – and his heart shuttered painfully.

His heart only broke further when he peaked through the door, Ran was on the couch – tears spilling over rosy cheeks, her eyes puffy and red, her shaky hands clutching a tissue for dear life as her body shuttered with each soft sob.

He opened the door fully which alarmingly still didn't alert her of his presence, being so caught up in her inner turmoil, "Ran-neechan?"

She looked up, processing, realizing, before she hurriedly wiped away her tears – she tried to figure out how to smile as she regarded Conan, "C-Conan-kun…"

He clenched his fists, feeling waves of worry wash over him, "What's wrong?"

Ran's broken smile could only remain for one more second before it fell apart, her eyes solemn, sad, "It's…," she paused, her face filling with embarrassed shame, "It's Shinichi."

Conan wanted to cry, of course it was his fault, "Shinichi-niichan?"

"It's stupid isn't it?" She laughed, but it held no humor, "Crying over that idiot," She paused, as more tears slipped, closing her eyes as she tried to calm down.

"Ran…"

"I'm sorry you had to see me like this Conan-kun," her voice hitched and she smiled with a little more success, "It's okay, just please go to bed, I'll be fine."

Conan shook his head, walking towards Ran, "No, I can't do that," he stared at her hands, shaking and tightly clenching the tissue before hesitantly putting a noticeably small hand on it, "Please tell me what's wrong, Ran-neechan, I won't be able to go back to sleep like this."

She stared at his hand before looking up at Conan, her eyebrows furrowing before she took a deep shakey breath, "I guess.. I guess I'm just tired."

"Tired?"

"I'm tired off… being left in the dark," she whispered, closing her eyes tightly as she tried to hold back a sob, "I just don't… feel like I know Shinichi anymore. Does he think I don't notice how much he dances around topics? How much he lies to me? After all these years does he think he can trick me like that and expect me not to realize?"

"I thought… I knew him. But I'm not sure if… this is the same Shinichi I knew… and loved."

Conan looked down at the floor, unable to force himself to witness Ran's defeated expression. He's an idiot… of course she'd notice… how could he think any differently?

He tried to protect her from keeping her in the dark but… it only hurts her.

"What am I suppose to believe?" she continues.

Conan closes his eyes, its better than her being dead.

"Is it…," Ran breathed in, "Is it my fault? Did I do something to make him run away?"

Conan clenches his teeth, "No… no, of course not."

He makes himself look at Ran who merely looks at him with her sad droopy eyes, her blue eyes so lost and confused.

She can never know the truth, he does this to protect her, he'll do anything to keep her safe, "I know.. I know Shinichi is special to you," he pauses, his mouth feels dry and his heart is beating with anxiety, "But if it causes you this much pain… I don't think it's worth it."

"What do you mean…?"

Conan looks at Ran one more time, her soft long hair, her face so open with emotions – he loved that about her. In his line of work Conan can see the darkness in peoples hearts, but when he see's Ran – she doesn't hide herself, she doesn't hide the worst parts of herself.

He loves her so much.

"What I'm saying is, I think it's time to let Shinichi-niichan go."

"I don't…"

He clutches Ran's hand tight, to reassure her (and himself), he opens his mouth – feeling regret at his words, wanting to pull back, he didn't want to let go, "Ran-neechan, he moved on without you," his words were stern and he can see the pain it caused Ran, "He isn't worth it," he gulped, his insides screaming at him to stop, "It's time to find someone else."

He gulped, as he watched Ran's wide eyes look down, her shoulders – her whole posture just sags – like weight was release off her shoulders, her gaze softens and her face is the very definition of acceptance.

And god did it hurt, but when Ran looked up at him, she smiled – a genuine stress free smile – he would say that to her again and again if it meant seeing that smile again.

He'd do anything for her.

Even if it meant stomping on his own heart.