Knotted
By Dixxy Mouri
Prologue

Warning: This fic contains multiple triggers warnings for suggested sexual scenes, suggested dubcon and suicidal thoughts/actions.

An unedited version of this fanfic will be posted to Archive of our Own.

UPDATED AUTHOR'S NOTES: 3/14/18

Planning, writing, and posting for Knotted started back during July of 2016, roughly a year and a half before we found out that Pudding is most likely about 16-17 years old, though there is a SLIGHT possibility she's 18 (as in she JUST turned eighteen and the decutuplets are on the cusp of their 19th birthday). Prior to this I assumed that she was somewhere between the ages of 18-20.

As such, for the purpose of this AU fanfic, Pudding was 19 when she married Sanji and 20 during the chapter being posted today.

Thank you.

Dixxy

"Luffy, Luffy wait!"

Luffy skidded to a stop, causing Sanji to crash into him after being dragged through the halls of Big Mom's chateaux. "Wait for what? We need to get you out of here or else Big Mom is going to make you marry that weird three-eyed girl and then you won't be able to go on adventures with us anymore!" Luffy insisted.

"No, Luffy, you don't understand – I can't leave this island!" Sanji said in a panic. He rolled down the sleeves of his suit jacket and pointed at one of the explosive wristlets his witch of a sister had attached to his wrists. "See? This is just like the collars the Celestial Dragons use on their slaves! If I leave this island my hands will-"

Luffy's eyes widened in a panic as he looked over Sanji's wrist, then at the other. He looked as if some of the color had drained from his face. "Rayleigh taught me how to handle the collars but . . . he didn't say anything about a matched set!" he said.

"What!?" Sanji asked.

"I . . . I don't know if I can remove one without causing the other to explode . . ." Luffy said. He shook his head and looked at Sanji with determination in his eyes. "You know what, that's okay, we'll just steal the keys, just like we did with Robin that one time we declared war against the World Government and I fought the pigeon guy and we all got bounties!"

". . . that's what you got from that day."

"Yeah, why?" asked Luffy.

Sanji groaned in frustration – the sooner he got the wristlets off, the better he'd feel. I can't even stand another ten minutes in these damn things . . . but if Luffy doesn't feel confident he can get these off without the key, then we need to go find the key. Sanji took a few slow, deep breaths to try and calm himself down. "Okay . . . okay, but that's not the only problem. They know where Zeff and the Baratie are back home and we-"

"-then I'll just kick all of their asses so they can't go back and hurt them!"

Sanji sighed. He wasn't sure it was that simple, but Luffy's enthusiasm was infectious. "You sure?"

Luffy gave him a grin. "All right, let's go steal some ke-"

"And just where do you think you're going with my future son-in-law?!"

Sanji and Luffy turned to look behind them to see Big Mom hovering above them. Both men yelped, Luffy surprised by the size of her, Sanji just crestfallen to see her at all. She towered over the two of them, her eyes filled with madness and her huge mouth pulled into a maniacal grin. The cook bit his bottom lip. If she's grinning . . . she isn't worried . . .

Luffy pushed Sanji behind him. "He's not your future son-in-law, he's my cook!" As if to emphasize that point, Luffy removed his hat and practically slammed it onto Sanji's head. "Sanji . . . it's okay. I can handle this. Just be strong for me, okay?" he said quietly. He gave him a grin and a thumbs up before turning his attention back to Big Mom.

"You're out of your league, boy!" Big Mom bellowed.

"I'm the man who's going to be the King of the Pirates! You're out of my league!"

Big Mom laughed, sending tremors up the cook's spine. She was radiating with power, with menace, and Sanji found himself frozen in fear. He felt so helpless. It wasn't fair that the opponent was female and he didn't kick women. It wasn't fair that his precious hands were strapped with explosives. It wasn't fair only half of the Straw Hats were there – even if just Zoro (. . . oh good GOD am I actually missing ZORO right now!? Fuck this place!) were there this whole situation would be a lot better.

Sanji gripped the brim of Luffy's hat.

Luffy launched himself towards Big Mom.

"Luffy!" Sanji screamed.

Big Mom easily enough knocked him back – Luffy was slammed in the opposite wall, though he shook it off like it was nothing. They exchanged a few blows as Sanji watched on, dumbfounded and mesmerized by the fight. It was going well so far, and for a moment he thought he was home free. Luffy was going to beat Big Mom, they'd be able to find the keys to his wristlets, and they could all go home soon. He wouldn't have to worry about the Baratie or Kamabaka Kingdom or the Straw Hats or any of their other friends falling at the hands of this monster of a woman.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Sanji froze in fear and looked at his hands – the wristlets were starting to beep. "What!? NO!"

"SAN-JI!"

Sanji's scream was all the distraction Big Mom needed, and the tide of the battle turned. Sanji covered his mouth as he watched in horror as, with his guard down, Luffy took an impossibly brutal hit and was sent flying. He raced to where his captain – his real captain, the only person he ever wanted to call his captain – had landed and was currently lying motionless.

"LUF-FY!" Sanji screamed. He skidded to a stop and dropped to his knees, cradling Luffy's seemingly broken body in his arms as Big Mom laughed. "No, no, no! You can't lose like this! No! Luffy! Luffy, wake up! Luffy!"

But Luffy wasn't moving. Sanji wasn't even sure Luffy was breathing.

Someone or something dragged Sanji back, the force pulling Luffy's hat off of the cook's head and sending it to land on his captain's unmoving body. Sanji continued to scream, reaching for his captain and begging him to not be dead. I don't want to leave my friends! I need to see the All Blue someday! I need to see you becoming the King of the Pirates!

Don't leave me here!

Once the third Vinsmoke boy was dragged away kicking and screaming, Big Mom shook her head. She looked over her defeated opponent and snapped her fingers, calling for more guards. Several of Cracker's Biscuit Soldiers appeared, ready to carry out whatever orders their mistress had for them.

Big Mom pointed at Straw Hat Luffy, who coughed a little when she nudged him with her foot. "Bring him to the basement – I don't use the depths of the chateaux very often, but it appears as if I'm going to have a long-term 'guest'." The soldiers nodded before Big Mom narrowed her eyes. "Make sure no one sees where you're taking him – we need to continue the illusion that he's dead. For now, at least. Understood?"

The Biscuit Soldiers saluted their mistress.

Luffy's dead . . . Luffy's dead. . . Luffy's dead . . .

To say that Sanji was a mess was an understatement. He'd been locked in a well-guarded room in the aftermath of Luffy's murder so he could "calm down before his bride saw him" but all he wanted to do was scream and cry and just hear Luffy yelling at him from across the Thousand Sunny one more time for something, anything with meat. And all Sanji wanted to do was make his captain a roast the size of his head.

Big Mom or one of her subordinates (he didn't know or care who) had snuck a device onto the cufflinks of Sanji's jacket that make the same beeping sound as the wristlets if he went outside of the "safe" zone or tried to remove them by force. The wristlets were too small to have a remote detonator of any sort, so this device had been planted on him as added insurance to keep him in line until the ceremony was complete. It was all the distraction they'd needed to take Luffy's attention away from the fight, and now . . .

There was a clock in the room. 11:30 am. The wedding was at two.

How the hell do they expect me to go up there and get married after everything that's happened!? They know I don't want any part of this and now they've murdered my captain!? My REAL captain!? Sanji started pacing, though he knew it wouldn't do him any good. Think, Sanji, think! There's gotta be something you can do!

. . . but whatever you come up with, it won't bring back Luffy.

There was a knock on the door. "Big Mom wants to see you."

Sanji wanted to tell whoever the messenger was that she could go fuck herself, but decided that wasn't a good idea. One, that might lead to the creation of even more members of the Charlotte family and God knew Big Mom already had enough of those. Two, that probably wouldn't do anything to improve his situation. "What does she want?"

Sanji was escorted to what must have been a throne room of sorts in the chateaux. Naturally there was a lot of food-themed décor, as well as several well-polished silver platters hanging on the walls in various places. Big Mom was waiting for him, seemingly not at all perturbed by having just murdered his captain.

"I wanted to give you a little . . . 'wedding present'," said Big Mom.

Sanji glared at her. Fuck YOU!

"I've captured the rest of the Straw Hats who came to try and rescue you – two Minks, a pile of bones, a little reindeer, and a pretty girl with orange hair," said Big Mom. Sanji's eyes widened. She'd caught the rest of them, too? He felt himself begin to tremble in fear and rage. "Oh, now, now, now, I only give wedding presents to members of my crew. And for your present, I'd be willing to let you choose what happens to them."

"What?" Sanji asked.

"Simple. You swear your loyalty to me in front of the surviving Straw Hats – and no 'I'm only doing this because I have to' bullshit, you need to make it look good – and only then they will be free to go," said Big Mom. "If it's not good enough, I'll do something of my choosing to the friend of your choosing."

Sanji swallowed. "You have no idea what our crew is like. They'll never believe me."

Big Mom grinned. "Not if you tell them this. . ."

Sanji wasn't sure how he hadn't collapsed when he saw Nami-san, Brook, and Chopper being led into the throne room of Big Mom's chateaux, handcuffed and looking more than a little distraught. Even worse, two of the Minks from Zou were with them – what were Pedro and Carrot doing here?! He wanted to run to all of them and make sure they were all okay, but he stayed as motionless as he could, keeping his emotions in check.

Chopper and Brook looked relieved to see he was all right. Carrot cheered at the sight of him, naively looking at him like he was a hero, even if he didn't feel like one in that moment. Pedro seemed to have a better read of the situation, his eyes filled with concern. You know something's wrong . . . and by the time this is all done . . . you won't know what . . .

"Sanji-kun!" Nami yelled at him. She had such a beautiful smile on her face, lighting up in relief as she saw him. His stomach churned, and for a moment it was as if it was just the two of them in the room. She came to rescue me . . . then . . . on Zou . . . it was real? It was really real after all?

It was something Sanji had been thinking about a lot since he'd been taken away by the Irontank Pirates. Everything on Zou had been so good. They were being heralded as heroes. They got along exceptionally well with the locals. And one night, when he and Nami were alone and talking about . . . anything and everything, really . . . he'd gotten to kiss her.

They had plans to get lunch together once Luffy and the others returned from Dressrosa and the situation with Kaido was resolved. Nothing special, but . . . a real honest to God date with his beautiful Nami-san. And she seemed like she was looking forward to it. And then things only got better with the next thing that she said, and his heart had just about melted.

"I can't have a map of the world without All Blue on," she'd said to him, holding his hand.

"How will anyone else find it again if we don't have it on your map?" he'd responded.

It was maybe the most romantic moment in his entire life, and he wanted more to follow.

But now . . .

Sanji crossed his arms. "Why did you come after me?" he asked, trying his best to sound stern.

"Why wouldn't we? You're our friend and we have to rescue you!" said Chopper. "This is just like when we rescued Robin from Enies Lobby!"

Sanji lowered his head. If there's a chance Zoro and the others disobeyed Luffy's orders and are about to come bursting through those doors . . . please . . . don't leave me here . . . don't make me do this . . . "No one asked you to come save me. Idiots."

". . . Sanji?" asked Brook. "What are you talking about!?"

Sanji spun around on his heels and started to laugh – he couldn't let them see him crying, and the laughter was all he could do to mask his sobs of despair. "Why the hell would I want to go back to the Straw Hats after everything Big Mom has offered me? A stronger crew, a beautiful wife, what more could I possibly want?" You. Each and every one of you is all I want.

"But you said you were going to come back! We . . . we just wanted-"

"-don't you idiots understand?" Sanji said snidely, barely catching his reflection in a particularly well-polished tea tray. His eyes were red as tears streamed down his cheeks. He was practically screaming to hide his emotions. "I'm the son of a king! This is my place, that is your place! Continue spinning your wheels as you chase your foolish dreams . . . I'm done with it! I'm done with all of you!" He laughed bitterly, putting his hand to his forehead. "Why would I want to be on that wretched dingy you call a pirate ship when I can command my own ship in the Big Mom fleet?"

"Sanji, whatever it is your doing, don't! Luffy will be here any minute!" Nami shouted.

"LUFFY IS DEAD!" Sanji screamed. "I KILLED HIM MYSELF!"

The words tasted like poison in his mouth and brought the others to a stunned silence. It was what Big Mom had ordered him to say. It was the best way to ensure the others wouldn't come to his rescue. If he took the blame for Luffy's murder over the chance to marry into the Big Mom Pirates . . . they'd hate him.

I . . . may as well have . . . this is . . . this is my fault . . . all of this is my fault . . .

"SANJI! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?" Chopper wailed. "YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OUR FRIEND! LUFFY CAN'T BE DEAD! HE CAN'T BE! YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT TO HIM! YOU'RE LYING! WHY ARE YOU LYING!?"

"I see it now . . . you really are one of those bastards, aren't you!?" Brook spat at him. Something in the skeleton's voice was filled with a kind of rage that Sanji had never heard before . . . and he knew he'd satisfied Big Mom. "You murdered our captain for a woman you don't even know!? HOW DARE YOU, YOU BASTARD!"

Nami wasn't saying anything. He peered at her reflected using the tea tray. Her head was lowered, and he couldn't see her face. She was so angry she couldn't even speak to him. Because of course she was. He'd broken her heart, and now she was breaking his.

Sanji stared straight ahead, his eyes stinging from his tears. "LEAVE!" he screamed. "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW HERE! YOU'RE NOT WORTH BIG MOM'S TIME AND SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED WITH YOU!"

"TRAITOR!" Chopper and Brook screeched.

That word hung in the air like a noose around his neck, and Sanji knew it was done.

From her perch at the back of the room, Big Mom looked pleased.

Sanji didn't even get to watch the Thousand Sunny leave – if he was spotted, it might tip Nami and the others off that he'd been lying to appease Big Mom and let them leave safely. Instead he was left waiting in Big Mom's throne room. Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji would be arriving shortly to escort him to the altar, where he'd be permanently shackled to a girl he barely knew and forever ripped away from the other Straw Hats.

Not that his performance earlier that day hadn't done so already.

The door at the end of the room opened and, much to his chagrin, Big Mom came waddling in, a massive grin on her face. "So, Sanji . . . I have a question for you. How would you feel about my allowing that ship to leave my waters safely?"

Sanji got to his feet. "What!? I already did what you wanted!"

"I said I would let them leave the island safely, I never said anything about my territory." She cracked a grin and took a seat before him. "But, I wanted to give you the opportunity to ask a favor of me. You will be a member of my crew soon enough, after all."

"Fine! Here's my request – leave the Straw Hats alone and let them leave safely!" Sanji shouted.

"Excellent. And as for the price of that favor . . ."

Sanji's eyes widened. ". . . price?" he asked.

Big Mom held up a small object, and Sanji's eyes widened when he realized what it was. A key. His jaw dropped. "The wristlets. . . that's the key to my wristlets, isn't it?" he said.

"Yes, yes . . . now, I was planning on releasing you from your shackles after the ceremony . . . but it seems that your loyalty to your old crew isn't quite gone yet, now is it?" said Big Mom. "I was going to give you the chance to sacrifice them to have your cuffs removed before the ceremony, but it seems like you've made a different choice."

The world stopped moving as the key disappeared into Big Mom's hand . . . and all that remained was dust.

"In exchange for their freedom . . . it seems you've chosen to give up yours. Forever."

Sanji fell to his knees, staring at Big Mom's hand in futility. "That was . . . that was seriously . . ."

"The only copy. It's now impossible to remove those wristlets." She bent down, breathing in his face. "I was hoping to groom you for a position off the island . . . but I suppose I'll need to find something you can do while remaining here on Whole Cake Island instead. I'm sure my dear sweet Pudding will love having you around."

I . . . I'm landlocked . . . she landlocked me . . . I can't leave . . . I CAN'T LEAVE!

Sanji was terrified throughout the wedding ceremony. No one was going to come for him. The only people here "for him" were the Vinsmokes and a large collective of Germa 66 soldiers. Ichiji, Niji, and Yonji were snickering by his side as they served as his "best man" and "ushers". Reiju was giggling from the front pew as she sat next to their father, who had a completely satisfied look on his face. He was getting exactly what he wanted.

This is just like when I was a kid . . . only worse . . .

"The rings, please?" the priest asked. One of Big Mom's grandchildren, a boy about five years old or so, held up a velvet pillow with two gold rings – Sanji remembered someone sizing him before he'd been shackled. He'd only went along with it because he didn't think things would get this far. He picked up the smaller ring, meant for Pudding, while she picked up the larger ring, meant for him.

Following the priest's instructions, Sanji closed his eyes as he slid the ring on Pudding's finger. She beamed at him as she took his left hand, returning the gesture. It felt heavy, and part of him wanted to collapse under its weight. Even if he knew this was a harmless piece of gold, even if he knew it wasn't rigged with explosives . . . it felt so much tighter, so much more restrictive.

It was almost as if he could feel his old life crumbling away. Black Leg Sanji, bounty 177 million – gone. Cook of the Straw Hat Pirates – gone. Foster son to Red Leg Zeff and former co-owner of the Baratie Restaurant – gone. The man who would one day find the All Blue – gone.

All that was left was poor little Prince Sanji, a title that felt empty and hollow.

"By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife."

And now . . . husband of Charlotte Pudding, and unwilling subordinate of the Big Mom Pirates.

Jinbe had been uninvited from the wedding.

When he'd heard the news that Big Mom had killed Straw Hat Luffy . . . the man he truly believed was going to be the next Pirate King . . . it was more than Jinbe could take. Partly because this man he respected and loved so much was now gone, but partly because Big Mom had broken a very important promise.

When he'd learned that Lady Pudding's intended groom was one of Luffy's crewmates, he knew there was no way the Straw Hats wouldn't act. He'd heard too much about them from Luffy during their time together after the war and during the crew's stay on Fishman Island. He'd gone after that poor girl Arlong had tormented for so long, and it sounded like he'd saved Nico Robin from the brink as well.

Jinbe had tried to approach Black Leg Sanji – apparently the long lost third son of King Vinsmoke Judge of the infamous Germa Kingdom – but he couldn't get close. He wanted to know what had happened and see if there was anything he could do to help him get away before he became entangled in a knot he wouldn't be able to undo. But Germa 66 and the other Vinsmokes children had kept a close watch over him, and all Jinbe had been able to manage was a glimpse of him here and there the day before the wedding. He wasn't even sure that Sanji knew he was there at all.

And once he started hearing reports that Luffy had been spotted on the island . . .

"Please, don't kill Luffy-kun," Jinbe had pleaded.

Big Mom had given him a damn near unreadable look in response, and had ordered him away from the chateaux. That was when he received word that Luffy had been killed at the hands of Big Mom herself (though he'd also heard that poor Sanji had been forced to take responsibility for it in order to keep the other Straw Hats away from Whole Cake Island). Jinbe felt ill at the revelation, and realized that this must have been his punishment for trying to leave the Big Mom Pirates.

Charlotte Linlin takes what she wants without any regard for those around her – not her children, not her crew, not anybody. And now it's a lesson that the Straw Hat Pirates have been forced to learn, too. Jinbe closed his eyes and looked towards the chateaux. Was there really nothing anyone at all could do to put an end to this woman's tyranny?

Sanji could barely hold himself together, reminding himself over and over again in his head that he had to smile, he had to pretend he was happy, he had to pretend he was okay. He had to pretend that he didn't hate hearing the name "Vinsmoke-Charlotte Sanji" again. He had hated being "Vinsmoke Sanji" enough as it was, but this?

That hyphen, that "Charlotte", he felt like he was suffocating. His hands were trembling, both from the wristlets that were threatening to blow off his precious hands and the gold band now adorning him left ring finger. This girl he barely knew, that he'd barely talked to at all, who was affectionately clinging to him as a crowd of people he didn't know or care about congratulated her on her new husband.

I'm just a toy to her, aren't I? Sanji thought miserably to himself. But he kept smiling and nodding as a seemingly never-ending parade of her brothers and sisters and their spouses all passed through, shaking his hand and welcoming him to "the family", some of the men (probably not Pudding's actual brothers, more than likely her sister's husbands but he wasn't sure after a while) trying to offer him "advice" for later than evening.

Sanji forced himself to laugh it off. In reality, all he wanted to do was cry.

And why shouldn't he? The corpse of his captain – his real captain – wasn't even cold yet.

It didn't even feel real to Sanji. Luffy couldn't possibly be dead – this was all just a bad dream he was having the night before this horrible wedding. He'd wake up any moment now and he'd had time to figure out his escape again, or the real Luffy would show up with the others to get him out of his horrible mess. He wouldn't have to get married because they'd all escape together on the Thousand Sunny and head off on their next adventure.

But as the wedding reception marched on, it became all the more evident just how real it was. Ichiji gave the world's worst best man speech. Several of Pudding's sisters talked about how lucky she was to have a handsome prince for a groom, several of them commenting that they were jealous she was technically a princess now, and Sanji wondered bitterly if that's why she was so happy with their match.

Reiju danced with him in place of his poor late mother for the mother-son dance. He kept his eyes lowered to keep from glaring at her the entire time. He'd never forgive her for placing those damn wristlets on him, especially now that they'd never be coming off. She'd taken the news with a bemused giggle.

While Pudding danced with several of her elder brothers, one right after another, Sanji was pulled aside for a private chat with his mother-in-law. He gritted his teeth – she was one of the reasons he was in the mess, and now he had to bow down to her as his captain? Sanji wanted to wretch.

It was large room (considering Big Mom had to fit inside of it, it had to be), with a single chair before her. She gestured for him to take a seat, and he did, looking up at her with hatred and resentment. "Now that you're my proper subordinate, I wanted to have a sit down with you about my precious little Pudding."

Sanji did everything he could to keep his anger in check. If he screwed up here, he was done.

"Now then, I expect you to treat my daughter as nothing less than the princess she is . . . thanks to you, of course. She is one of my favorite children, and I expect her to have a happy, fulfilling marriage," said Big Mom. She grinned. "I do my best to match my children appropriately, and I believe I've done well here – she loves to bake, you're an exceptional cook, and she's always wanted a strong, handsome man to call her own. I think she's just tickled you're a prince on top of all that."

Sanji kept his tongue in check.

"While I understand you may still have some . . . complicated feelings . . . in regards to this morning's incident, I'd like to remind you that the wedding ceremony isn't yet completed, but out of respect for my daughter I recognize that a certain level of discretion is necessary. I'm assuming you don't want an audience for tonight, either."

It took a few seconds for Sanji to realize what she was talking about. Oh. THAT.

"Tell me young man, are you still a virgin?"

Now he was starting to squirm uncomfortably.

Big Mom grinned. "Oh, I'm not bothered either way – either Pudding will get to deflower you, or she'll have an experienced stallion in her wedding bed tonight. But I want you to understand, young man, that this marriage will be consummated. Tonight. And since you are one of my subordinates now, I don't feel the need to remind you that these are captain's orders and you will follow them to the letter."

This was something Sanji hadn't put that much thought into. He'd been so focused on everything else going on around him that, somehow, he'd nearly forgotten about this part of a wedding. Oh sure once he'd seen that picture of Pudding he'd thought about what she looked like under that floral shirt, but upon meeting her . . . he didn't. Because this wasn't just some girl he was trying to flirt with – this was a woman he was expected to be married to, and that required a lot of work and dedication and commitment he wasn't ready for.

Worse, the answer to Big Mom's earlier question was "yes". While his virginity was something he'd wanted to rid himself of basically from the onset of puberty, it hadn't happened for him yet despite his best efforts and now that it was on the cusp as actually happening . . . he didn't know how to feel. Big Mom was kind of right – the marriage wasn't "valid" until it was consummated, and that meant giving up the goods.

But . . . I should be having that moment with someone I love, right? I don't even know Pudding – for that matter, how can you do that to your daughter!? She doesn't know me, either! All right, fine, she's been all over me since the end of the ceremony but . . . she can't be that enamored with me already. Can she?

"Well?"

Sanji closed his eyes. I've already sacrificed everything else for the others – I guess my v-card is just next on the list. "I understand," he said plainly. This sucks but . . . Zeff made sure I knew everything I needed to know for this moment. So I just . . . make sure I do everything the old man taught me about safety and . . . that's that. Assuming Pudding doesn't have any STDs the only thing we need to worry about is birth control, I guess.

Big Mom accepted his answer and had him returned to his bride.

Should we have all gone after him?

Zoro had been wondering this for days, even since Luffy announced his intentions to retrieve Sanji alone and only Nami, Chopper, and Brook had been able to muscle their way in on the mission. It felt wrong that half of the crew wasn't going, but there wasn't much they could do. Captain's orders were absolute, after all, but not know what was going on had been rough on everyone.

Usopp kept himself busy with his normal tinkering, but everyone could tell his heart wasn't completely into it. He and Sanji were deceptively close and spent a surprisingly amount of time together since the cook had joined the crew, especially during their days on the Going Merry when the sniper's workshop was located in the galley. Oh sure, Sanji snapped at him like the other men, but sometimes he gave the sniper a special snack if he was working particularly long hours on a project.

Robin . . . well she'd been acting really weird. Franky seemed particularly concerned about that, which was also weird, but they'd been oddly chummy since the crew had left Fishman Island over a month ago, so he had taken on the responsibility of keeping an eye on their archaeologist. It seemed that she had picked up a stomach bug or something while on Zou, as she'd been pretty sick for the past few mornings.

As for himself, Zoro had spent most of his time training, but he found himself on the lookout for the Thousand Sunny more often than not. He didn't want to admit it, but he was worried about the cook. Sure they fought a lot, but he was reliable and someone the swordsman knew he could count on in a pinch. Not having him around just felt wrong.

Idiot . . . why'd you let yourself get kidnapped liked that?

"Zoro . . ."

Zoro turned to see Robin and Franky standing behind him, looking at him expectedly. Their expressions were a matching set, full of anxiety and happiness that he wasn't sure he'd ever seen on either of them before. Even stranger, they were holding hands. "Um . . . yes?" he said. He got to his feet and crossed his arms. "What's going on?"

The two exchanged a nervous look before Robin cleared her throat. "There's, um, something we need to tell you . . ."

"Aren't you going to carry me over the threshold, Sanji darling?"

. . . when did I become Sanji 'darling'? Resigning himself to what he had to do to keep the remaining Straw Hats and Zeff safe, Sanji hoisted Pudding up and into his arms. She giggled and kissed his cheek, drawing her finger across the side of his face as he carried her into the suite of rooms where they would be spending the next seven days for their honeymoon. Pudding had been upset when she found out they wouldn't be traveling, but when she understood the circumstances surrounding his bargain, she'd just smiled and nodded and did exactly what her mother told her to do.

Sanji wondered if she had an original thought in her head.

Once they were inside and he'd hip-checked the door behind them, he lowered Pudding to her feet where she excitedly began to investigate the suite. There was a small kitchen (which Sanji suspected he'd be spending a lot of time in – he needed the distraction) and a small sitting room, and through a half open door he saw a bedroom with a king-sized bed sprinkled with rose petals.

Sanji swallowed at the sight of the bedroom.

For the moment, however, it seemed Pudding wanted to share tea with him. Sanji was perfectly fine with putting the . . . "highlight" . . . of the evening off. She led him to the couch in the sitting room and instructed him to sit down before heading into the kitchen, stopping every so often to look over her shoulder, wave her fingers at him, and blush. Sanji nervously waved back.

It wasn't that Sanji had intentionally remained a virgin for this moment – he really couldn't care less about the whole "waiting for marriage" thing, it just so happened he hadn't been able to coax a girl into bed before. Now that there was a girl not only willing but expecting him to sleep with her . . . he was out of sorts. Her mother had just killed one of his dearest friends. Three of his friends hated him now and they were going to go and tell the rest of his friends why they should hate him, too, so absolutely no one was coming to rescue him. He'd watched the only means of his ever getting off this island, marriage or not, get destroyed before his very eyes. He wasn't in the mood for this.

Tea sounded great.

Unfortunately, it quickly became evident after Pudding poured the tea for them that this was some kind of bizarre foreplay to her. While he was trying to enjoy his oolong, she was being very coy, reminding him to be gentle with her, seductively batting her eyes at him and giggling as she started leaning against him, leading one of his hands to her waist. Realizing that the tea wasn't going to last very long after all, Sanji decided to at least try to make the most of it and leaned in to kiss her.

Pains of guilt gripped his stomach as he thought about Brook and Chopper screaming the word "traitor" at him, and the silence that Nami had given him during the little show Big Mom had forced him to put on. He pushed those images out of his mind – what he had to do now was survive for the sake of the surviving Straw Hats. He didn't have any other options but to carry on with this marriage like there wasn't anything wrong with it – disobeying Germa Kingdom and the Big Mom Pirates would possibly send them both after the others and he did not want to have two Emperors pursuing them.

After all . . . Kaido's pissed off at Luffy, too . . . I need to keep Big Mom away from them.

Sanji slipped an arm under Pudding's knees – she squealed with delight as he started to carry her into the bedroom. She was whispering dirty things into his ear, which kind of surprised him. He laid her out on the bed, and she grabbed his tie and pulled him on top of her – Sanji yelped in surprise until she captured his mouth in another kiss, and they quietly made out for a few minutes.

Okay, this isn't too bad, Sanji thought to himself. Pudding wasn't the best at making out but whereas he was a technical virgin, he had gotten to second base a few times as a teenager so he wasn't completely unfamiliar with what to do. He kicked off his shoes and toed off his socks while Pudding started to hike up her dress.

"Can you take me in my wedding dress?" she asked seductively.

That's kind of . . . kinky, Sanji thought. "Uh . . . do you want me in the suit?"

"Oh, yes, please!" she said in delight.

Great. That means we're further along than I thought. Sanji propped himself up on the heels of his palms and started looking around the room as Pudding started to unbutton his jacket and shirt. They must have put something for us to use somewhere, right? But where? "Okay . . . so do you know where the condoms are?"

Pudding sat up and stared at him. "What?" The look on her face was not pleased.

"Condoms? Protection? You know, so you don't get pregnant?" Sanji said. Pudding continued to stare at him in confusion. "I, um, look, we've known each other for what, three or four days and we've spent maybe all of, I don't know, maybe twelve hours together? Don't you think we should get to know each other better before, you know, kids enter the equation?"

Pudding chuckled. "Sanji darling, you can't consummate a marriage with a condom."

Sanji felt the color drain from his face. "You're kidding me, right?"

"Mama says the consummation doesn't count if there's anything interfering with our union."

"But what if you get pregnant?" Sanji asked.

Pudding laughed. "Wouldn't that be wonderful?"

NO, NO THAT WOULD NOT BE WONDERFUL! Sanji wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, but he caught a glimpse of the wristlets and remembered his situation. There was no scenario in which doing anything but having unprotected sex with Pudding was going to end well for him. But that's only going to make this WORSE! Can't I please just catch one, just ONE break!?

"Is something wrong, Sanji darling?"

"N, nothing!" he said, forcing himself to laugh it off. Pudding giggled and started to undo his belt.

There were only two chances Sanji could think of, both courtesy of the sex ed books Zeff had made him read when he hit puberty – he either hoped and prayed really, really hard that Pudding wasn't ovulating (which would make the sex irrelevant – no egg, no baby) or see if he could get away with pulling out before he came – it was an unreliable method of birth control and Zeff had told him point blank to not rely on it, but it was the only option he had at his disposal – he didn't think Pudding was on birth control pills or was using a diaphragm. Okay, okay, I have a plan! It's not a good plan, but I have a plan!

Once they were both exposed, Pudding spread her legs for him. "Ready?" Sanji felt dizzy. You can do this – this is for the others. If you don't do this, Big Mom is going to hunt them down and kill them. Then she might go after everyone else you love – those idiots in Kamabaka Kingdom, or Vivi-chan, or the Franky Family, or the other chefs at the Baratie . . .

. . . Zeff . . . I'm so sorry . . .

Ugh . . . where . . . am I?

"Awake already? I thought you'd be out for a few days."

Luffy opened his eyes. His head was throbbing and he could barely move. The last thing he remembered was getting into a fight with Big Mom and getting slammed into the wall – GOD that woman hit hard. How long had he been out, anyways? He needed to find Nami and the others so they could save Sanji-

"SANJI!" Luffy cried out. "SANJI! WHERE ARE YOU!? WE NEED TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE BEFORE-"

The sound of Big Mom's cackling filled the air, and Luffy got a good look at his surroundings. It was a plain looking prison cell, but he could feel the seastone lining this new cage. The door had a tiny little barred window, and through it he could make out at least part of Big Mom's fat, ugly face. He got to his feet and started screaming at her. "LET ME OUT! I HAVE TO SAVE SANJI!"

"You mean from the wedding?" Big Mom teased. "It was a lovely ceremony. You really should have been there."

Luffy's eyes widened. I . . . couldn't save him? No . . . NO! "GIVE HIM BACK! HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE A PART OF YOUR CREW! HE DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY THAT GIRL! LET HIM GO!" He grabbed at the bars but felt his strength leave him and he collapsed to his knees. He gritted his teeth, still not ready to give up. "Where is he!?"

"By now? Consummating his marriage and my alliance with Germa Kingdom."

Luffy shook with rage.

"And as for you . . . you've going to be staying here a while. If I'd had it my way you'd be dead, but my dear sweet Jinbe begged me to let you live, and I agreed . . . and I always keep my promises to my crew," Big Mom stated plainly. She lowered her face to better look into the cell. "Of course he never asked me about letting you leave."

"Y . . . you . . ."

"Ah, ah, ah! Just because I've agreed to keep you alive doesn't mean I have to treat you well. I would suggest you find a way to make yourself comfortable – I'm afraid I don't usually entertain long term guests."

"GIVE ME BACK MY COOK!"

"He's mine now, boy. I suggest you get used to that."

Chopper was wailing. "S, San-ji! Why did you . . . why did you abandon us?! WAHHHH!"

Brook sighed, looking at the water bitterly. He should have known the moment he saw Sanji for the first time that he was related to those bastards and he should have known that a Vinsmoke would make a selfish decision like that. Had everything else all been an act? It didn't make sense, but Brook was too angry to care about sense.

This was the second time he'd lost someone he cared about to those monsters.

Fuck you, Sanji. Just FUCK YOU. I hope you're enjoying your three eyed freak.

Carrot and Pedro had made themselves scarce. The bunny girl was devastated that the savior of her homeland had betrayed the people trying to save him, and the jaguar man was being distant and moody. Brook wasn't sure what was going to happen to them next – Carrot might be in trouble for sneaking off, and Pedro . . . who knew what he was going to do next.

Brook caught a glimpse of Nami at the back of the ship, staring out at the trail of waves and sea form the Thousand Sunny was leaving in its wake. Brook frowned (at least as much as he could without a real face). Their navigator must have been devastated – she had taken Sanji's kidnapping (ha, ha, "kidnapping") the hardest and had been the most adamant about getting him back. Of course considering what had played out between the two, he shouldn't have been surprised, and it honestly made Brook want to skewer the bastard.

It had been no secret that Sanji was particularly attracted to Nami – he spoke differently to her, acted different around her . . . it was subtle, but it was there. And during their journey to Zou, Brook noticed that Nami's behavior was starting to change, too. It was curious, to say the least, but it looked like she was regretting taking him for granted after he'd nearly been killed by Doflamingo. It was very subtle with Nami, certainly too subtle for Chopper or Momonosuke to notice, but Brook was old and even though he'd spent fifty long years away from people, he did understand them pretty well.

Brook happened to steal a glimpse of Sanji and Nami kissing during his final night with the crew.

But now that he, apparently, had an equally attractive woman and a chance at a better position in a bigger crew, he'd dumped poor Nami like yesterday's garbage, and that made the Straw Hat's musician furious. How dare he toy with her emotions like that! How DARE that bastard! That VINSMOKE BASTARD!

Anger, however, was not what Nami needed at the moment. She needed someone to comfort her. Brook took the place next to her at the back of the ship and turned to look at her. She hadn't spoken a word since Sanji declared he was leaving the crew (coward couldn't even face them properly), and her face looked hollow as she stared out at the ocean.

"Nami, dear . . . do you need to talk?" asked Brook.

". . . we shouldn't have left him behind," she said softly.

Brook was aghast at her. How could she say that?! "Nami, I think-"

Nami turned to him, tears beginning to stream down her cheeks. "In Big Mom's throne room, there was this platter hanging on the wall right by where Sanji was talking. Someone must have polished it really well, almost like it was a mirror." She continued to fight back tears. "You didn't see his reflection, did you?"

"No." Why would he care about seeing that smug bastard's reflection?

". . . he was crying . . ."

Brook clenched his fists. Even after what you did . . . she still believes in you . . . bastard . . .

It was the wee hours of the morning, but Sanji couldn't sleep.

Pudding had her arms wrapped around him, her face nuzzled in the crook of his neck as she slept. Having to continue playing the role of the "happy newlywed," he'd had sex with Pudding a total of three times, both of them ending up completely naked by the time they were finally done for the night. And despite his best efforts, he'd failed to pull out.

Sanji had made a critical error in judgement and thought that thinking about something that would make him sad to try and delay the "big finish" and settled on thinking about how much he missed the Straw Hats. He really should have gotten along better with Zoro – along with Luffy, they were the two doing to the most to keep everyone safe and getting along better might have made that easier. Maybe he shouldn't have teased Chopper so much with all the emergency food supply bullshit (he would have never seriously cooked and served the little doctor to his friends). He should have taken up Usopp on more chances to go fishing – the sniper was the Straw Hat he had felt the most relaxed around, other than the girls, and they had a lot of good talks. He should have spent more time listening to Brook playing the violin or the piano – he really was incredibly talented, and that music was always so soothing. And with Franky, he should have spent more time appreciating just how beautifully crafted the Thousand Sunny really was and how much he'd tailored the ship to their crew.

And then when he got to Robin he tried to think of something, anything else . . .

. . . but his mind settled on Nami, and it was all over.

It was a bizarre feeling to be sure. Part of him was in ecstasy – this was much more intense than whatever he'd been able to do on his own. But the rest of him was in the grips of despair – terror, shame, and guilt wracked his body and it took every ounce of willpower he had to not start sobbing in response to what he'd just done.

And then he failed two more times.

Worse still . . . didn't multiple births run in families?

Sanji wanted to scream, but he didn't dare wake up Pudding. Instead he quietly sobbed as the horror continued to sink in further and further, even more than it already had. He was never going home. He was never seeing his friends again. He'd never sail the seas as a pirate again. He was never going to see the All Blue.

Luffy and the others really had been his only hope.

Even though he was now a married man, Sanji had never felt more alone.

Author's Notes

Hey guys, Dixxy here! If you're a new reader . . . welcome to my world! I like to write about terrible things happening to my favorite characters because that's what I do! If you're one of my regulars, hey guys, don't worry, I haven't forgotten about Mass x Acceleration but I needed to get this fic out of my system ASAP for reasons that will probably become apparent pretty quickly – there's some upsetting stuff in here. Not quite like A Force Against Inertia but, well, you'll see.

So for this fic I'm trying a few different things. For one, this is the first fic I've posted that is going to contain explicit sexual content* (although if you don't know that already . . . why are you reading the end of chapter author's notes without having read the prologue?). I decided to do this because while I could just have Sanji recount his thoughts and feelings after the fact I felt like it had more impact to have the scenes take place on screen. Second, unlike what I usually do, I did try to get a good chunk of this story at least planned out before I started writing it – I want the writing to be tight and on-point considering the serious subject matter involved.

If you're itching for more already, be sure to check out the short story "Tea Party", which serves as a sort of "soft introduction" to this universe.

I'm not sure on the update schedule just yet but I think I have enough in the can that I can comfortable do weekly or bi-weekly.

Also, please note: this story was being written and planned during late summer/fall of 2016, when the events of Whole Cake Island were still developing and we didn't really know if Pudding was going to shake out as an ally or an enemy (i.e. before she got her Oda Box), so it's very possible portrayals of some characters won't be accurate to their canon counterparts.

*FanfictionDotNet Readers: You guys are getting an edited version of the story that does not contain the explicit sex scenes due to the rules of the site. If you want to see those scenes written out in full you can check out the Archive of our Own version. It should be pretty easy to figure out when a sex scene is being cut in this version, though other details leading up to a sex scene may also be edited.

Please note that there will be other trigger warning-esque scenes in the fic but those will not be cut from either version of the fic.

Please be sure to leave a review if you like the story so far! Thanks a bunch!

Dixxy