He crossed his arms and shook his head. "Nope. No way."

She rolled her eyes. "Don't be such a baby Jackson. Just climb the freaking fence and get in here with me."

"I'm not going in there. They'll eat me alive."

"Jackson! Get. In. The. Pen." She ordered, and that was when one of the fat pink beasts came running towards her from her behind.

"Watch out!" he yelled, but it was too late. The beast had used his enormous snout to poke her butt, knocking her face-first into a large puddle of mud, as she let out a brief shriek.

"APRIL!" he screamed, and before he knew it her had jumped over the wooden fence and landed right next to her, his brand new Nikes getting all covered with wet dirt, along with some other brown things he didn't even want to think about. He quickly turned to face the enormous creature, which was now staring into his eyes like it wanted to tear him to pieces and dance around his dismembered body. "Shoo! Shoo! Get away from her!" he yelled towards it with the courage of a true knight in shining armor, and –miraculously- it actually turned away to leave.

Time to check on the damsel, he thought satisfied with his heroic performance.

Well, that is, if anyone could call his flushed, stinky, mud-covered wife a damsel. Last time he checked, damsels were supposed to have a tiny bit more grace than the horrendous beasts guarding their castles. But, you know, whatever. "Are you okay?!" he urgently asked, as he noticed her shoulders shaking.

But when she lifted her head to meet his eyes, he realized to his relief that she was laughing. No, not laughing. Uncontrollable snorting would be a better word for it.

"See? It wasn't that hard." She managed to burst out between giggles.

"Oh, it wasn't? Says who? I was the one fighting with the oversized piece of bacon!"

And that was when the lovely damsel decided he was not dirty enough for her liking, as one of her tiny hands smashed across his face, spreading mud all over his facial features.

"They are not just bacon! They are living creatures!" she yelled, but he was too far gone to talk about the freaking pigs at that point. He pushed her back on the wet dirt and got on top of her, as he grabbed both her wrists and pinned them to the ground.

"What did you just do?" he growled, his mouth inches from hers.

He watched her eyes widen slightly. "W-what?"

"Did you just cover my face with pork shit?"

"You deserved it!" she cried.

Oh, that's how she wants to play it? Fine. He placed both her wrists in his one arm, freeing the other, and tangled his legs with hers, leaving her unable to escape. "Apologize! Now!"

She winced, understanding his intentions. "No! Don't!"

"Now, you peasant girl!" he yelled as his free hand begun to tickle her armpits mercilessly.

"No! Jackson, let me go!" she cried, shrieks and giggles emerging from her throat.

"Apologize first!" he demanded, his hand moving to tickle her stomach.

"Fine! Fine, I'm sorry!" she all but screamed.

He wasn't letting her off the hook that easily. "For what?" he insisted, moving his hand lower and lower…

"FOR COVERING YOUR FACE IN MUD! I'M SORRY!"

He let go of her wrists to cover his ears. "Damn, girl, I heard you, you don't need to yell that loud."

She huffed and with her hands on his chest she pushed him off her, only to throw him back on the ground again, her being on top this time. He looked at her confused, when he noticed her eyes were darker than he had ever seen them before. She lowered her head, every inch of her body suddenly pressed against his, her lips brushing against his ear.

"That… was the hottest thing you've ever done." She whispered, her hot breath sending thrills down his spine. She then backed off just a tiny bit, so that her lips were just above his own.

"Maybe that pig wasn't that bad after all." He mumbled.

She grinned. "He has a name, you know."

"Does he now?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised." She mattered with a chuckle and begun closing the distance between their mouths.

"Wait!" he yelled, stopping her movement. She frowned at him, confused, as he used the inside of his miraculously still clean sleeve to wipe the remaining mud off her lips. She rolled her eyes and shook her head, before finally leaning down to press her lips against his.