Chapter 40 – A Million Pieces

The sound of footsteps beating against the floor woke Lightning the next morning. For a moment, she feared that it was the blonde warrior, but her nerves were instantly calmed when she realized that he still lay beneath her, fast asleep. The sound had come from the hallway outside their door and she could only assume that it was the sound of visitors going about the new day.

She inhaled deeply, allowing the blonde's scent to fill her nostrils. Her head had found its resting spot during the night against his muscular chest and one of his arms now draped over her body as if to either protect her or to ensure that she wouldn't leave. Whichever the reason, she didn't mind. In fact, she really enjoyed the way it made her feel. Their bare skin still touched in so many places and created a unique feeling that Lightning didn't even know was possible before this. The best way she could describe it was one of warmth. It wasn't heat, but something else entirely. It felt comfortable, as if every single cell in her body was relaxed and right where it was supposed to be.

As she lay there, listening to the blonde's heart tap against his chest that was gently rising and falling with each breath he took, the previous night came flooding back. She felt her cheeks grow warm as the blood began to rush about her body. She and Cloud had really done it. They'd made love. She hadn't really known what to expect as it was her first time, but every second of it had been amazing and it had far exceeded any expectations that she could have had. Never in her life had she felt so close to someone; as if for just a while, the two of them had ceased their separate existences and had merged into a single being. The whole experience just reinforced the one thing that she already knew to be true—she and Cloud belonged together.

More footsteps could be heard outside the door and the blonde shifted beneath her, tightening his grip around her as he began to come to. "Morning," he yawned as he leaned forward to gently kiss her forehead.

Lightning just looked back at him and smiled, wondering how she'd managed to get so lucky. She raised her head and joined their lips, taking full advantage of their alone time in hopes of feeling a small piece of the happiness that she'd felt the night before. Apparently, she wasn't alone in that thought because his hand slid down her bare back and then he playfully pulled her on top of him. She let out an involuntary giggle and he yanked the sheet upwards, completely covering them.

Something about it reminded her of when she was a child and had built tents from sheets and blankets that her mother had kept around the house. She would pretend that they were castles and would sometimes stay in them for hours at a time, alone but safe in her own little world. That's how she felt now, but she wasn't alone anymore. She was with the love of her life and this castle was theirs, and it was one that she would gladly stay in for the rest of her life if she could.

Sadly, a light knock at the door brought them crashing back from their little world and they looked at each other in confusion. It was pretty late in the morning, so Lightning's first thought that it was housekeeping or a member of the staff to alert them that it was time to check out, but then she remembered that Cloud had booked the room for an extra night just in case they needed it. A second knock came and then the door started to rattle as the person on the other side began to open it. Cloud and Lightning instantly separated, keeping the sheet pulled over them, ready to give whoever it was an earful for invading their privacy.

The door pushed open and they were met with crimson eyes that stared down at them with a mixture of shock and disappointment.

"Tifa?" Cloud blurted out, clearly just as surprised to see her as she was to see them.

The martial artists eyes quickly darted between the pair of them and then to their clothes that were still scattered about on the floor. "I-uh… sorry," she stammered as she quickly backed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Cloud let out a loud sigh as the brunette disappeared.

"Well," Lightning sighed as well as she threw the sheet aside, got out of bed, and then began to collect her belongings. "I suppose that's the end of that. If she's here, then that means Cid must have fixed that rusty old airplane. We should probably get going."

"Do we have to?" he protested as he stood up behind her and wrapped his arms around her lovingly. "We could just stay here forever."

"I wish," she smiled as leaned her head back next to his. "But we should... before someone else comes along."

"Fine," he sighed again as he let go over her and began to pick up his own things. "If we must..."

Tifa's back slammed against the wall of the hallway as she stared at the closed door in front of her. She could feel her erratic heartbeat pounding against her rib cage, threatening to burst free at any moment, but as she tried to steady it, she quickly discovered that she'd forgotten how to breathe. She staggered toward the exit and as she opened the front door, she gasped loudly as the cool air filled her lungs.

As she caught her breath, something warm began to trickle down her face and she realized that she was crying.

She pressed her body against the red railing of the deck and closed her eyes, begging herself to get it together. No one was around, and for that, she was thankful. She hated the idea of anyone seeing her like this, let alone any of her friends. They would no doubt ask questions and probe into the mess that she called feelings, and that wasn't something that she wanted to happen, now or ever.

Cloud was with Lightning now. He loved the pinkette and she loved him in return. Tifa knew that… she'd known it for a while now, and that was why her feelings were no longer relevant. His feelings toward Lightning was something that Tifa had thought she'd accepted and had learned to live with, but something about seeing the two of them together, like that, seemed to bring forth every hidden and suppressed emotion that she possessed.

As she stood there, pondering the fragile line that she and Cloud now walked, she began to wonder how her life had managed to go so terribly wrong. This wasn't the way that things were supposed to go at all. When Cloud had left Nibelheim so many years ago, he was supposed to return to her a hero, not to disappear without so much as a word for years only to resurface again as a ghost of who he once was. He was supposed to be her knight in shining armor; her fairy tale. They were supposed to live happily ever after, but when he finally did return to her, Tifa felt as though she meant nothing to him. It was as though he'd forgotten it all. His feelings… his promise… her. All of his feelings seemed to be gone altogether and replaced with something else that she didn't quite recognize. And those eyes… those blue eyes that had been full of so much love whenever he'd look at her had changed. At first, they were empty, as if the Mako had somehow stripped them of all emotion. But in time, she realized she was mistaken when those eyes reappeared. Except this time, they were meant for another.

It was difficult for Tifa to imagine what could have possibly changed with Cloud while he was away, but something had. She'd spent so many sleepless nights wondering what could have happened to him and the only place she could manage to pin the blame was on herself. She knew that if she had done anything differently at all, that things might be different now. If she hadn't been afraid to accept Cloud's feelings, he wouldn't have felt the need to prove himself to her. If she had been brave enough to tell him that he was perfect just as he was, he wouldn't have left to become someone else. If she had written him or done more to reach out to him while he was away, maybe he would have missed her and come back. And maybe if she had just told him all of this when he finally returned, he wouldn't be in someone else's arms right now.

But Cloud was happy. That much she knew. She wanted that happiness for him more than anything else in the world, but she wanted that happiness to be with her. She wondered if he knew what he was doing to her. If he knew that he was breaking her heart into a million pieces by forcing her to watch him love someone else. He had to know, right? Neither of them had ever been the most honest when it'd come to their feelings for each other when they were kids, but Tifa'd always thought it was pretty obvious. She knew he liked her that way and she felt the same. It was all unspoken, but they had a bond. It was a strong bond that had been forged throughout their childhood and into adolescence. It was a bond that she thought they'd have forever.

She knew it was selfish, but part of her wished that Lightning would just fade away; that she would somehow find her way back home, and then everything could be as it was supposed to be between she and Cloud. It seemed like a horrible thing to wish but it felt like the only thing that could ever restore that bond between them. It felt like the only way to bring balance back to their world and the life they were supposed to live together. It was the only thing that could ever make things feel right again. Selfish or not, she loved him. She loved him with every fiber of her being. And a love that strong couldn't be wrong… could it?

A/N: So sorry for my delay. I know this chapter is much shorter than what I am used to posting, but to be honest, I haven't been in the mood to write lately. I've been in a funny mood for a few weeks and have been unmotivated in pretty much every aspect of my life. I felt really bad about not posting anything in a while, so I put this together in about an hour tonight. I figured it would do for now while I sort myself out and get going again. I know I've been off the main story for a while now, but the next chapter will put us back on track with that. I just needed a bridge chapter to get back to that point and to address where we were in the last chapter. Sorry for those expecting a lemon this time around. I didn't get as much feedback as I was hoping for on that, but the feedback I did get was helpful in making my choice. After talking it over with a very valued and honest reader, I've decided to hold off for now. It received mixed feelings again, so I am going to exclude it from the main story. I have about half of it written so if and when I ever get around to finishing it, I may post it as its own one-shot story. That way, those who want to read it can and those who do not can avoid it. Again, I apologize to those who were hoping for it. The idea is far from being scratched though.

Anywho, I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and reading from a different perspective. I told you that Tifa was far from done in this love triangle..

As always, please drop me a review so I know there are still people reading this thing. :)

Until next time,

Lady A