A/N: I'm playing too many games... (sighs)
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis.
Warnings: Text-based format, Crack-Humor
Pairings: OT6 (SanaTezuAtoYukiFujiRyo)
The 3 AM Blues
Part I
Ryoma considered his Contacts list very seriously, weighing the options; on one hand, Momo was his best friend and would rise to the occasion if called upon, but on the other hand, he would never let Ryoma live it down. The other options were of course his fellow Regulars in the current Seigaku club, but out of all of them, he could only really rely on Kachirou or Katsuo.
Wake up. -Ryoma messaged.
Why are you awake! -Katsuo.
It's 3am... wtf. -Kachirou.
Hypothetically speaking
If you woke up naked and can't find your clothes
What would you do -Ryoma.
omg -Kachirou.
wtf wtf -Katsuo.
"Don't be useless," Ryoma muttered to himself irritably. He froze when the person on his right shifted, one arm haplessly slung over Ryoma's lap.
Be serious. Help me. -Ryoma
Omfg -Kachirou.
Where are you?! -Katsuo.
Ryoma glanced about the room. What to say...
I think a hotel room. -Ryoma.
You think? -Katsuo.
Why are you naked lol -Kachirou.
That's not important. I need to break out. -Ryoma.
Are you locked in?! -Katsuo.
Kinky lol -Kachirou.
Kachirou, 100 laps at practice next week. -Ryoma.
kjdfdsfkdsf;anf -Kachirou.
Well, if it's a hotel room, then your clothes would be in the room somewhere... -Katsuo.
Ryoma, who had tried his best to peer around the room with his cellphone light and still trapped on the bed, glowered.
Fine, then not a hotel room. My clothes aren't here. No one's clothes are here. -Ryoma.
...you aren't alone?! -Katsuo.
Who's there? -Kachirou.
That's not important. -Ryoma.
Omfg
It must be someone we know. -Kachirou.
...1000 laps at practice next week. -Ryoma.
;sfhdafdfndafndfj -Kachirou.
Well, it's kind of important we know who it is... since you might be at their house... -Katsuo.
Why would he confuse their bedroom with a hotel room then? -Kachirou.
Ryoma felt a nervous sweat break out on the back of his neck. He'd been trying to avoid that.
Wait -Kachirou.
No way. -Katsuo
Wait wait WAIT WAIT -Kachirou.
Shut up and focus! -Ryoma.
YOU'RE NAKED IN ATOBE'S BEDROOM? -Kachirou
I said FOCUS and help me get OUT! -Ryoma.
omfg -Kachirou.
Ryoma stomped down on the urge to throw his phone across the room. Atobe, on his left, turned over onto his side and wrapped an arm sleepily around Ryoma's waist.
Ok so you're sleeping with Atobe... That's fine, that's totally fine, congratulations btw -Katsuo.
Oh yeah, congrats! -Kachirou.
I don't need congratulations, I need clothes and a way out. -Ryoma.
It's not good to run from intimacy~ -Kachirou.
Ryoma was seriously going to kill his vice-captain.
Well, um, why don't you just...ask Atobe where...your clothes went... -Katsuo.
Are you serious
I'm not waking him up
If he wakes up then everyone wakes up
I want to escape not have a discussion about this. -Ryoma.
Ryoma paused. Shit, he thought upon realizing his error.
hdf;idhafidnsfnd -Kachirou.
Everyone?! What do you mean everyone?! -Katsuo.
It's a big bed, it fits a lot of people. -Ryoma.
WHAT -Katsuo.
How many people are there? -Kachirou.
Ryoma winced.
Five guys not including me. -Ryoma.
omfg -Kachirou.
Katsuo said nothing.
Omfg you were in an orgy i'm so impressed -Kachirou.
KACHIROU! -Katsuo.
Can you even move? Doesn't your waist hurt? -Kachirou.
I'll manage. -Ryoma.
You beast~ -Kachirou.
FOCUS. -Ryoma.
Hey hey who else is there? Do we know them too? -Kachirou.
Why are you so excited? -Katsuo.
Yeah but I'm not saying. -Ryoma.
I'm so glad i'm awake for this. -Kachirou.
Ryoma wished he wasn't awake for this. If his wait wasn't so sore, he likely would have slept through the night; as it was, now he was the only once conscious in a bed bigger than his bedroom, glowering at his cellphone. He glanced over at his companions - all were still blissfully sleeping. It must be nice being unconscious for this, Ryoma thought.
Ryoma-kun's first walk of shame. I wish I was there to take pictures. -Kachirou.
Ryoma was going to have the other boy running laps until he died.
ANYWAY
There's no clothes in the room at all? That's weird, since there's so many people... Did you guys undress somewhere else? -Katsuo.
Lol kinky -Kachirou.
From what Ryoma remembered, they'd undressed and did everything in this room. By all accounts, his clothes should have been thrown to the floor along with the others'; he didn't know why they weren't there anymore.
Do you think he had a maid come in and take them away? -Ryoma.
Wow that is some A-plus service, I hope she's paid well. -Kachirou.
Why don't you try looking in the closet or the dressers? I think you can borrow someone else's in this case. -Katsuo.
Ryoma slowly untangled himself from the jungle of limbs he'd felt encased in; Fuji made an irritated moan, but settled quickly enough into Sanada's side. Maneuvering carefully over his bedmates, Ryoma nearly tripped off Yukimura's torso but caught himself before he could fall into Tezuka's legs. His entire bottom was crying out at his movements, but Ryoma had suffered worse in tennis practice so he only soldiered on. Using his cellphone's flashlight, he checked under the bed - clean - and then moved over to the closet. The door squeaked when he opened it, but aside from a general restlessness, the bed behind him remained quiet.
Nothing but linen in the closet. No dressers. -Ryoma.
Are you walking around naked lol -Kachirou.
Make a toga out of the linens? -Katsuo.
Ryoma pulled out one of the bedsheets. Of course it was the finest silk because Atobe, but Ryoma wasn't going to let that stop him; he wrapped it as best he could around his waist, so that it looked more like he'd misused it as a towel.
...I can't go home like this. -Ryoma.
Can you even go home? I bet he has good security. -Kachirou.
You should just wake him up. -Katsuo.
Ryoma would rather die.
Can't you just bring me clothes? -Ryoma.
How? You don't even know where you are! -Katsuo.
100 laps for being useless. -Ryoma.
Ooh, now he's taking out his anger on us~ -Kachirou.
That's not going to help your situation! -Katsuo.
Walk of shame! Walk of shame! -Kachirou.
Maybe he should have contacted Momo after all. At least the older boy had upgraded to a scooter recently, and wouldn't delight as much in Ryoma's suffering until after he had escaped it.
Wait why do you have your phone but not your clothes -Katsuo.
I put it on the side table before...everything happened. -Ryoma.
Nice priority -Kachirou.
Well if you're not going to wake them up, you only have two options
Either crawl back into bed
Or start exploring. -Katsuo.
Lol You just told Ryoma to explore Atobe's house lol -Kachirou.
Ryoma snorted. It's not like he could just stroll on out of the house in this condition.
...oh, there might be clothes in a different room. -Ryoma.
And thus starts the adventure -Kachirou.
Ryoma tried to leave the room as quietly as possible. Thankfully, the bedroom door didn't squeak and closed with a quiet click behind him. Admitted into view of the hallway, he was relieved to find it deserted; it was 3 in the morning though, so he wasn't expecting much.
Looking left and right, he couldn't discern which way would lead him to another room or even the exit. "Seriously, who needs a house this big?" he grumbled, stomping off in a random direction.
Doesn't anyone know Atobe's home address? -Katsuo.
It's not like it would be easy to find on the internet. -Kachirou.
Do you think I could get a taxi to pick me up here? -Ryoma.
Doubt it. -Kachirou.
Ryoma entered the first room on the right: a study. No possible things to wear. He continued on like that, meeting either empty rooms, bedrooms with only more linens available, or lounge areas.
If you were a bedroom in this stupid mansion, where would you be? -Ryoma.
Maybe he enjoys being nude when at home. -Kachirou.
Considering some of the things Atobe did wear, being nude could be considered the preferable option. Ryoma was only slightly biased. Still, running around a dark mansion at some ungodly hour in the morning after rigorous sex was more draining than Ryoma had thought it would be. As it was, not only was he getting tired, he was getting thirst too. Even his body was starting to ache, rebelling against his desire to escape.
Maybe I will just hide in a room and wait for everyone to leave. -Ryoma.
Omg
Don't do that
You'll scare the staff. -Kachirou.
I'm tired and I can't find the kitchen. -Ryoma.
You want to eat now?! -Kachirou
I'm thirsty. -Ryoma
Just how big is that house?! -Kachirou.
Where's Katsuo? -Ryoma.
Huh. Wonder where he went. -Kachirou.
If you went back to sleep, I'll make you drink Inui Juice at practice for the next YEAR. -Ryoma.
The threats! Have stepped up! -Kachirou.
I'm not sleeping!
I was trying to help. -Katsuo.
Ryoma didn't even get to ask what for when his phone buzzed with a different group chat. Switching over into the new one, he grimaced at what he saw.
...And, uh, sorry about this. -Katsuo.
Ochibi! What's wrong! -Kikumaru.
Echizen are you ok?! -Oishi
Echizen! -Kawamura
Where are you? Do you need a ride? -Momo.
I'm surprised you're even awake right now, Echizen. You generally sleep in on the weekends. -Inui.
...Katsuo, at practice, you better start running laps and never stop. -Ryoma.
Senpai! Good morning~! -Kachirou.
I was just trying to help! I thought they might know where Atobe lived! -Katsuo.
He said you're in Atobe's house and can't leave? What happened? -Oishi.
Yeah, what happened? lol -Kachirou.
Doesn't matter. Trying to leave. Get me out. -Ryoma.
I've never been to Atobe's house personally
But Fuji, you've been there right? -Oishi.
A cold sweat broke out over Ryoma's entire body. No, he thought in alarm.
Yes~ -Fuji.
No no no, Ryoma thought.
Never mind. I'm already out. Long gone thanks anyway. -Ryoma
What about your clothes? -Katsuo.
HIS CLOTHES? -Oishi.
WHAT -Momo.
OCHIBI! -Kikumaru.
Ryoma dashed into the closest room - another lounge. He thought about hiding, but that seemed a little too extreme; there were so many rooms in the house anyway, it woudl be hard to find him no matter what. He would just wait here...until morning... And beg the cleaning staff for help in smuggling him out, if all else failed.
It's fine. I'll bring something he can wear. -Fuji.
I said I'm not here anymore. -Ryoma.
Where are you? -Kawamura.
Dead on the side of the road. -Ryoma.
What happened
Why are you being so difficult now -Katsuo.
Shut up -Ryoma.
Omg
Omg omg -Kachirou.
What what's happening! -Oishi.
Something great just occurred to me. -Kachirou.
...no way. -Katsuo.
Echizen you're running around naked? -Momo.
Lol -Inui.
Inui-senpai, why is that funny to you? -Kaidoh.
wtf Mamushi's here?! -Momo.
Did you want to play Hide and Seek, Ryoma? -Fuji.
Ryoma curled up on the couch in the furthest corner. His whole body seemed to sag in relief, but contradictorily, his muscles were tense with adrenaline; it was as if he instinctively knew he was being hunted. "Ryoma-kuuun~!" Yukimura's voice sung out sweetly from the hallway.
I'm going to die. This is all your fault Katsuo. -Ryoma.
I'm sorry! -Katsuo.
What's going on? -Kawamura.
I'm dead. -Ryoma.
Ya. -Fuji.
WHAT -Oishi.
An intercom buzzed to life in the hallway. "Brat, the house is practically locked down. Just come out."
I refuse. -Ryoma.
So you are still in the house lol -Fuji.
Ryoma could only inwardly curse at himself. His phone buzzed with an incoming call: Tezuka. Ryoma stared at it for a long moment - he could just get this over with right now, because at this point he was only delaying the inevitable. Another second later, he rejected the call.
Stop being stubborn. -Tezuka.
Lol you actually hung up on your favorite Buchou~ -Fuji.
Wait - are you guys already at Atobe's place? -Momo.
Ya. -Fuji.
Give more details, Fujiko! -Kikumaru.
Tezuka-buchou is here too? -Kaidoh.
That's 3/5 of the mystery solved lol -Kachirou.
Another crackle from the intercom. "Playing hide and seek at 3 in the morning is a bit extreme, Ryoma. Come back to bed," Sanada said through the speaker.
Fuck you. -Ryoma.
So hostile! -Kachirou.
Don't worry, that was for us. -Fuji.
So uh...do you still need a ride, Echizen? -Momo.
Yes. -Ryoma.
No. -Fuji.
No. -Tezuka.
Lolol you were out-voted -Kachirou.
It's not a democracy -Ryoma.
Everyone can go back to bed. We will find Echizen. -Tezuka.
Save me -Ryoma.
Tezuka... Maybe I should go pick him up... -Oishi.
He's fine, Oishi. -Tezuka.
I'm not. Save me. -Ryoma.
Don't bully Ochibi! -Kikumaru.
He can't be in that much trouble if he's texting us and not calling the cops. -Inui.
Oh is that where our standards are? Until the cops are called we're fine? -Katsuo.
Does it remind you of our Xmas party? It reminds me of our Xmas party. -Kachirou.
No. -Katsuo.
No! -Kaidoh.
We don't talk about it! -Momo.
Lol what happened? -Kikumaru.
Oishi-senpai, save me. The rest of you useless idiots can leave. -Ryoma.
Lol he's irritated. -Kachirou.
A door further down the hallway was opened and closed. Ryoma tucked himself into the corner between the couch and table so that he wouldn't be in direct view.
I said it's fine. Go to bed. Ignore his texts. -Tezuka.
That sounds the opposite of fine. -Kaidoh.
Kaidoh, 100 laps. -Tezuka.
... -Kaidoh.
Lol You should have gone to different high school lolol -Momo.
Shut up, peach-idiot! -Kaidoh.
Tezuka... -Oishi.
Personal issues. We'll handle it. -Tezuka.
I don't want my personal issues handled. -Ryoma.
From what you've said, you've already been pretty well-handled lol -Kachirou.
Hm? -Fuji.
I'm sorry -Kachirou.
We don't know anything. -Katsuo.
Traitors. -Ryoma.
Self-preservation is an admirable trait. -Inui.
Ochibi... Are you still naked? -Kikumaru.
WHY do you want to know?! -Kaidoh.
I'm trying to come to grips with the scenario. -Kikumaru.
Lol -Inui.
Go to sleep, Eiji. -Fuji.
Now. -Tezuka.
...g'night. -Kikumaru.
Maybe I'll go back to bed too -Momo.
I hate you. -Ryoma.
Echizen! Don't be cruel! -Momo.
Don't worry senpai, he's just mad cuz he's hungry and tired. -Katsuo.
Such a cute kid~ -Kachirou.
Both of you are banned from the club. -Ryoma.
Only Ryuuzaki-sensei has that authority! -Kachirou.
The intercom buzzed again. "Come out already, Ryoma. There's your favorite Ponta in the fridge," Yukimura promised.
I'm not falling for it. -Ryoma.
It's not a lie. -Tezuka.
(Picture uploaded) -Fuji.
Wtf holy shit -Katsuo.
Is that a fridge full of Ponta? -Kawamura.
So loved~! -Kachirou.
...I'm going to bed. -Kaidoh.
Yeah me too -Momo.
They're trying to trap me and you just want to sleep. You're the worst senpai ever. -Ryoma.
It sounds like they've already succeeded in trapping you. -Kachirou.
Ya. -Fuji.
How casual... -Inui.
Well, if Tezuka and Fujiko are already there, I'm going back to bed then too. -Kawamura.
Good night! -Kachirou.
Don't leave me alone with them. -Ryoma.
You've already been alone with us. -Tezuka.
And that's my cue to leave. -Momo.
Tezuka, if you're sure... I trust you... But please be kind to Echizen. He's obviously feeling intimidated. -Oishi.
I'm not. -Ryoma.
... -Katsuo.
Have fun, Ochibi~ -Kikumaru.
No wait -Ryoma.
Good night, everyone. -Tezuka.
Lol it was an order lolol -Kachirou.
The group chat went quiet. Ryoma inwardly groaned; of course Tezuka would still have a hold on them. He still felt like a captain to Ryoma, and that had been two years ago. His phone buzzed with another group chat. Ryoma blinked at it.
Ryoma, aren't you tired? -Fuji.
Ryoma glowered at it. The more Fuji reminded him, the more sleepy he got - he knew that was what the sadist wanted. He wouldn't fall for it!
No. -Ryoma.
Oh, he replies here? -Yukimura.
It turns out he's an avid texter. So cute~ -Fuji.
Echizen come out already. -Atobe.
This would be easier if your house wasn't so ridiculously big. -Sanada.
If it wasn't, the brat would have hopped the fence and been long gone. -Atobe.
So you admit it was a trap! -Ryoma.
Ya. -Fuji.
Where are you? Come out. We can have a snack if you're hungry. -Tezuka.
Ooh, he's even offering late night snacks! You have him wrapped around your little finger, Ryoma~ -Fuji.
I wouldn't mind having him wrapped around me either~ -Yukimura.
I bet he's blushing now :) -Fuji.
(kiss) -Yukimura.
The brat is never going to come out at this rate -Atobe.
Nope -Ryoma.
So stubborn! -Fuji.
Well the first floor is clear -Sanada.
Same for the second floor -Yukimura.
Just how determined were they to find him? Ryoma hadn't expected them to start sweeping the house from the ground up!
Good thing this is one of my family's smaller homes. -Atobe.
Five stories is considered small...? -Sanada.
Stop looking for me. I've died and ascended to Heaven. -Ryoma.
We'll show you heaven. (kiss) -Yukimura.
Ryoma. Come out. -Tezuka.
Let's get a snack and go back to bed. -Sanada.
The door opened to the room he was in. Ryoma didn't move from the corner, keeping still as footsteps echoed in his ears.
I win. -Atobe.
Ryoma didn't get to make a reply, as he was effortlessly scooped up, sheets and all, into Atobe's arms. The other male looked mildly irritated, sleep-mussed hair in disarray, but Ryoma noted - bitterly - that the other boy had somehow donned pants.
"Where did you get pants!" Ryoma snapped out.
Atobe blinked, then chuckled. "It's my house, brat. I know where the clothes are."
"Asshole!" Ryoma said. He would have smacked the other, but his hands were trapped in his impromptu cocoon of blankets. Struggling seemed futile; not only was he too sore and tired to do much, Atobe seemed to be oddly capable at restraining him.
Atobe took him to the kitchen, where he was effortlessly dumped into a chair at the counter. Keeping a firm hand on his shoulder, Atobe took out his phone.
Kitchen, 3rd floor. -Atobe.
It wasn't long before the others arrived, in various states of dishevelment but all sporting pajama pants. Ryoma found himself more irritated by the pants than anything.
"Interesting way to start the day," Fuji quipped, pecking Ryoma on the head.
Ryoma glared at him.
"Good call on hiding the clothes, Gen," Seiichi acknowledged with a laugh. "It managed to impede him just long enough from escaping."
At that, Ryoma grew alarmed. "Just how much of this was planned?"
"Everything from the very beginning," Sanada answered.
A/N: I have no excuse for this, other than that it's been rattling in my head so it needed to be out. φ(．．;)
Part II is done, will be posted soon.
Thank you for reading! Please be kind a drop a review.