A/N: PLEASE READ THIS NOTE WOULD YOU KINDLY?

Someone cheeky little bugger said that I was dead. Eh? Oi! DO I SOUND DEAD TO YOU?!

Sorry, sorry, that's my inner Irishman talking. This quarantine is beginning to drive me somewhat mad...among other things.

Doesn't help that I'm a bit weary with the state of the world these days, and its starting to affect my ability to write, just a bit. Not to mention the requests I seem to be getting as of late. Did Middle Earth: Shadow of War make a resurgence when I wasn't looking or something? Why does everyone want me to write that all of a sudden?! Seriously!

In any case, here, you go.

Naturally it helps if you're familiar with Overlord. I was a bit of an amateur when I first started writing this; thus, the gang and I have been going back and polishing things up. Mass For the Dead is apparently a thing now, too. Who knew?

Alas, it seems Overlord fics -even crossovers!- are few and far between for good reason these days, because frankly, not many seem to be able to stomach how dark it can get. Take this story for instant. Plenty of follows and favorites, but not much in the way of feedback. I've pumped out seven -eight, now!- chapters for this bad boy, and the review count is only in the 300 range. Whereas you have my more popular stories such as "An Untraveled Road" currently sitting at 1,000 + reviews for only five chapters.

Now then, the votes have been tallied! Naruto and Shalltear's "child" shall henceforth be known as Rory. Also, what's with all this talk about her causing pointless drama? I don't do that.

As ever, I own no references, themes, or memes. Chapter title is a big honking pun, of course.

Hopefully this little chapter puts a smile on your face.

"This is my domain. My forest. My garden. So by all means, come in, come in!"

"Why, it won't cost you a thing...just your loyalty. Or your life."

"Now then, which will it be?"

~?

What Is Dead May Never Die

Journal Log, Entry #6:

Feels good to be home again.

Better to write my thoughts down once more.

You know, its funny. Its been two days but it feels like years. Perhaps that's the immortal in me talking. When time ceases to have any meaning for you, the hours tend to blur together. That brings up another question. Is this new body of mine immortal? How much of my old strength transferred into this new body? Can I die here? Hmm. Semantics, I suppose. I'm not at all eager to test that.

In others news, the Great Forest and the Tomb of Nazarick have officially formed an alliance. Well, more a nonaggression pact than anything else, but it will suffice. For now.

They say what is dead may never die, and that holds true for the Ains and I. He could end me, and I could certainly kill him in return...but there's just no point in killing one another right now. I'm sure he's got a dozen contingency plans in place, as do I. Why waste our energy throwing ourselves at one another in endless battle without a good reason? There's a wide open world out there just waiting to be discovered. Places to be and people to see! Lands to conquer, folk to help, riches to steal.

...I'm going to get a reputation for this. I just know it. Nevermind abusing a broken item to bring people back to life, this is going to make me infamous. I just know it.

Still, why fight over a land like this when we can share it?

Now that everything's finally secure on the home-front, I find myself curious. I want to venture out into the world. See what it has in store, you know? Are there towns here? Cities? Taverns? What are the people like? Are their kings? Queens? Rich? Poor? So many new experiences!

And...there's the matter of Shaltear's kid.

For the life of me, I don't know how that one came about, but she's absolutely precious. Yui's over the moon to have a little sister she can visit on the weekends. Shaltear is...well...no, no, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. She hates me. And I hate her just as much, but she's totally at a loss for what to do when it comes to this kid. Nazarick, on the other hand, adores her. I'm fairly certain they'll guard that girl with their life. Woe to whomever tries to harm so much as a hair on her head.

We put it to a vote, nowadays we're calling the little tyke Rory. There's a reference in there somewhere, but I can't be bothered to find it.

Speaking of references, I'm still finding little surprises left behind by my old guildmates back at home. Weapons, artifacts...a maid. Yes. Maid. Singular. Honestly, this what I get for letting them rule the roost while I lived in my little world. What was her name again? Rem? I think that was it? In any case-

Hmm? What's this? It seems someone went and breached the barrier I set up. Does that mean...?

Well!

Well, well, well!

I suppose I should tidy up.

Its been so long since we've had guests...

I do hope they like the little trap I've prepared for them.

(.0.0.0.)

This was death.

Arche had thought herself prepared for anything. Not this. Anything but this.

She couldn't blink. Couldn't move. Couldn't call out for her friends, or even see where they where. She could barely even breathe. Even now an invisible force continually pressed down on the back of her head, forcing her to prostrate her very self on hand and knee. Every breath was agony. Her heart felt fit to burst from her breast, such was the pain. How long had she been trapped here? Minutes? Hours? Days? Weeks? Months? It felt like an eternity, but in reality, she'd only endured this torture for roughly thirty seconds. Perhaps it was best she didn't know that.

Her mind might break, if she did.

As far as stories go, her wasn't a particularly storied one. As a member of Team Foresight, she was strong; as strong as someone could be for a girl her age. An accomplished Third Tier Mage, she'd studied under the legendary Fluder Paradyne himself...before her family's disgrace. She knew her limits, knew well the terrors of the world. She knew her limits too, and knew better than to push them. In time, and with her friends by her side, she knew she'd grow stronger still. Caution had brought her this far, and caution would carry her further still. She'd been so careful, steadily amassing funds from each job, always tucking a bit away for her sisters.

How long would they survive without her?

Foresight had found the Forest by accident; she should've known better from the start. Forests didn't simply "appear" from nowhere. Yet this one had. That was suspicious enough in its own right, She hadn't wanted to delve its depths, but everyone had been so eager and...well...

She was a Worker, after all.

She'd taken job after job to repay her parent's debt, to keep her sisters safe, but these...these...these were her friends. Family. She couldn't let them plunge into a dungeon by themselves. They'd even promised her first claim over any and all riches they might find. Her greed got the better of her; because the offer was simply too good to pass up. A way to finally find the freedom she so desperately sought. A way to get her sisters AWAY from her no good, money-guzzling parents before they did something...untoward to them.

Hekkeran was a Fencer. Roberdyck served as their Cleric. Imina, an Archer. And herself, a Mage. By all rights they were a balanced party.

It hadn't made a lick of difference.

No one challenged them when they ventured into the forest. No traps went off when they opened chest after chest and took their fill. No alarms sounded as they went deeper and deeper, no swarms were summoned. That should've been the first warning, but she'd just been so excited.

Then they'd blundered into a trap, found themselves teleported into this hell, and now...

Now she was going to die. She knew it. This was it. This was her end. The sheer presence bearing down on her seemed to imply that much.

"Well, well, well." a deep voice intoned somewhere out of sight as she labored for air. "I leave for a few days and come home to find rats in my garden. What do you have to say for yourself?"

Arche choked out a ragged gasp and struggled to raise her head, to no avail.

"Oh, my apologies." perhaps sensing her distress, her host hummed. "You can't speak like that, can you? Come now, raise your head. There's no need to prostrate yourself."

All at once the weight fell away from her soul, leaving her retching and gasping for air. When she dared to look up and chance a glance for her surroundings, a glorious green garden awaited her sight; a sun kissed field of flowers and windswept grass spanning as far as the eye could see. It was, in a word, paradise. A lovely grove untouched by man and civilization alike. No man-made arena was this, but rather, a simple pleasant pasture, the kind one might find somewhere out in the wilds.

And there, in the midst of it all...

At a glance she couldn't really call it a chair, it looked like the seat had simply grown up from the ground itself, formed by roots and bark alike. It was a mighty thing to look at by itself, but the armored being currently sitting within that caused her spirits to plummet like an anchor in a storm. Mismatching eyes of blue and scarlet gazed back at her, set with a tan-yet-whiskered face framed by tawny blond hair. Pointed ears twitched ever so slightly beneath her gaze and a small, distracted part of her realized that this was a Dark Elf. She'd not seen one before.

There, seated on said throne, the Sage of the Great Forest awaited her.

He made no effort to hide who he was; she could feel the mana flowing from him; at least, Arche assumed it to be mana. She couldn't be wholly certain of its nature but she could see it in her mind's eye, a flowing red tide that seemed to bleed from his very shoulders to waft across the grass like smoke. It threaded through grass and tree alike, swelled in the sunny sky like some kind of blood storm. Only moments before, she'd vomited at the sight of it. Now, it felt like little more than a cool breeze.

A thorn of irritation pricked at her heart. Why was he dilly-dallying?! If he was going to kill her, he should just get it over with-

"Welcome, welcome!" Before her very eyes, he rose from his throne, surprised her with a sweeping bow. "Welcome to the Great Forest! How can I help you today?"

...

...

...

...bwuh?" Arche managed eloquently.

Her host tittered softly and offered her his hand. "I'm afraid I don't speak gibberish. Here. Let me help you up."

In that moment, she wanted nothing more than to bolt. Better judgement had her accepting that calloused palm. "Who are you?"

"Many things." his self-depreciating smile didn't fool her for a moment as he gently helped her finding her footing. "But you? You can call me Naruto."

Arche warily tugged her hand out of his grasp and took three steps back, ready to spring away at the slightest provocation. Even now she could still see that strange red light shrouding his body and it left her on edge. Her every instinct shrieked at her to run, yet fear left her legs leaden and heavy. This foe was beyond her. He'd yet to so much as raise a hand against her and she already knew. What was he? The closest she'd ever come to an elf was Imina, and her friend was only a half-blood. She'd never seen a Dark Elf in person.

Yet this one made no move to strike her down.

As she looked on in quiet horror the now-named elf walked away from her. A flick of his wrist summoned a gnarled black staff to his right hand. Her entire body tensed for an attack that never came. Instead she looked on in quiet awe and confusion as the root and bark of his throne began to unwind, twisting themselves into separate shapes. In a matter of moments she found herself face with a small table and a pair of chairs, one of which was promptly claimed by her host.

A tan hand dipped through the air itself, palm vanishing into a small crimson portal.

"Lets see," whiskered cheeks pinched in a frown, "It should be in here somewhere...aha! There we go!"

Not a beat later his arm reemerged with a large earthen pitcher and a par of small glasses, the latter of which he laid out on the table. Without so much as a glance her way he began to pour, into them, one at a time. The faintly sweet scent of rum reached her nose as he topped off the second glass.

"Thirsty...?" he offered it to her. "In times such as a these, a stiff drink soothes the nerves."

Arche regarded the pitcher like a poisonous snake and shook her head.

"Skittish, aren't we?" A blond brow rose. "Come now, I'm not going to drug you."

When she made no move to approach, he took one of the glasses and knocked it back with a grunt.

"See?" he grinned, reminding her of a Cheshire cat. "Harmless. C'mon, sit down! I don't bite. Really. Promise."

When he didn't keel over or start clutching at his throat in abject agony, the skittish little mage dared to approach the table. She felt sitting anywhere near this powerful being was another matter entirely, but once again, she had no choice. Anyone able to paralyze her with so much as a glare was not someone to be trifled with. He pushed the glass her way and trembling fingers seized upon it.

She downed it in a single gulp and slammed it back down on the table.

"I'm terribly sorry for this." his confession drew a startled blink out of her as he poured her another. "I'm a bit rusty at this, you see. Ever since I came to this world...I've been something of a recluse. Its a shame really." he shook his head with a sigh. "I used to be much more outgoing than this, you know? Suppose I'm out of practice."

"Wait," somehow, she dared balk at the incredulity of it all. "What do you mean, came to this world? You're not from here?"

His smile didn't waver in the slightest. "Something like that."

Belatedly, Arche realized she was alone with this madman. Her team -her friends!- were nowhere to be seen. She hadn't heard so much as a word from her friends; worse, a quick inspection of the glade confirmed they were nowhere to be seen. A thorn of dread tore at her heart. "You...I...where are...?"

"Your friends?" Naruto tilted his head to regard her as one might a mewling kitten. "I had the three of them thrown into a cell. Don't worry," he soothed at her anguished expression, "They'll be brought here shortly once we've gone and concluded our business. You were the one I wanted to speak with."

"Me...?"

"Quite." The Dark Elf leaned closer then, armor creaking softly as he invaded her personal space. "Call it a whim on my part. A curiosity." Once again those eerie mismatching eyes dominated her vision. "Here I was, just starting to wonder how I could learn more of this world, when...bam!" he slammed his fist into an open palm and Arche jumped, nearly choking on her liquor. "Your little band right to my doorstep! How could I refuse such a generous offer? Although," and here his eyes did narrow, "You did help yourselves to my riches along the way."

Arche squirmed in her seat, a naughty child caught with her hand in the proverbial cookie jar.

"But that's in the past now!" Naruto's laughter wiped the slate clean sure as a storm. He leaned forward to pat her shoulder and Arche winced as her collarbone creaked ominously. "We'll be fast friends in no time, you and I. I'm sure of it!"

Mad.

This man was mad.

Completely, stark-raving mad.

"Speaking of friends, you can see me, can't you? No, not in the typical sense," he waved her instinctive protest away, "I'm talking about me. My strength. My power. What I am. Who I am. That's not something every mage can do now, is it?" Her silence spoke volumes, and his grim grin only made matters worse. "I didn't think so."

He knew of her Talent somehow. Arche wasn't sure how, only that he did.

There was something more to this being. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

...yes." she relented at last.

"Fascinating." he waved her on. "And what do you see?"

Arche gathered up her talent dared to look at him again, to turn her eyes upon the seething power stemming from his stomach. Now that she focused, she could see that the red "mana" clearly stemmed from something, a trickle of water running from an ocean. So she peered deeper. Deep. Deeper still into the abyss...until the abyss stared back.

"I SEE YOU."

A giant red eye gazed back at her from the abyss and left her stricken with fear. The creature was large. Massive. No, this went beyond mere fear. This was terror. Mind numbing, bowel-voiding terror. Even now, the rum she'd drunk threatened to come all but roaring back up with the last remnants of her breakfast. She jerked back with a yelp and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Fox!" the word leaped from her lips in a yelp. "I saw a fox!"

"Wait, wait, wait." Naruto blinked rapidly. "You can see Kurama? He's in there?!" she didn't have a chance to ask what the devil he meant; because he took her nod and ran with it. "Huh." he thumbed his chin. "Guess he's been sleeping all this time. No wonder I couldn't talk with him-ow!" abruptly, the dark elf flinched at some unseen blow. "Alright, alright," he sighed. "Which brings me to my final question. I'm sure I already know the answer this, but for your sake, I'll ask just this once:

To her dismay, he set his cup down and leveled his staff at her throat.

"Why are you here?"

Arche choked down her drink. "What?"

"I asked why you came here." her host continued. "The truth, if you please."

It wast the worst thing he could've asked her. The absolute worst. Not only did this sudden inquiry nearly floor Arche outright, but it left her in a cold sweat. How could she explain her motivations? Would he be swayed by the truth? Would he believe her? Could she apologize? Dozens of ideas raced through the halls of her mind, only to smolder and burn away beneath that penetrating gaze. If she told him the truth...that greed had brought them here, nothing more than personal gain...he wouldn't take it well.

In the end, it was all she could do to come up with a good story. "We were hired-

A tongue of living flame ignited under her throat and all the words withered on her tongue.

"Now, now, now." a lone finger wagged at her. "I told you not to lie. Last chance. Truth, or death. Make your choice."

Those eerie mismatching orbs narrowed on her and the pressure -killing intent!- returned tenfold, leaving her to choke on her tongue. Arche cracked like an egg.

Choice?!

What choice?!

There was no choice at all!

If she lied to him again, the Sage would kill her without a second thought. He would, too, and she'd not be able to stop him. He'd be well within his rights to do so. For all his easy smiles and gentle gestures, she was still an intruder to him. Foresight had broken into his home. Her fate had been sealed the moment she'd woken up here. To hell with her parents. To hell with her honor. They could rot for all she cared. So long as she and her friends survived...no! So long as her sisters could live...!

"I'm so sorry!" she threw herself past his staff and landed at his feet with a sob, to press her head against the ground. "Please! I'll tell you everything! No! I'll do anything! Just don't kill me!"

Words tumbled out of her mouth like water from a broken sieve and she babbled helplessly before him. Told him everything. Who she was, where she hailed from, what her parents had done, why she was so desperate to take her sisters away from them. And throughout it all, the Sage listened. He didn't utter a word. He just...sat there. His oppressive silence was like a wet back, heavy and cloying. Arche held her breath and waited for the pain to come; tensing for the brief burst of agony that would send her tumbling into the void. Still, it didn't come. It never did.

When he finally spoke, her heart sank. "Is that all you have to say?"

Arche didn't dare look up; fearful of what she might see there. So she nodded into the ground.

"Please," she whimpered into the dirt. "Have mercy. I can't die here. Not yet. Spare me and I'll do whatever you ask!"

"Well, now I just feel awkward." his staff prodded her side gently. "C'mon, get up. Don't cry. I'm not going to kill you." an exasperated sigh followed when she made no move to rise. "I mean it! I really can't, after hearing a sob story like that. Raise your head." Was he lying? Was this all a trick? "Seriously! Up! We don't have all day!"

Against her better judgement, Arche did was she was bade.

Naruto's smile beamed brighter than sunshine itself. "You're hired."

"Hired?" Her eyes fluttered shut and open in a series of rapid blinks. "Me? For what? I...I don't understand."

"No, you don't! Now then," Naruto's smile took on a decidedly predatory edge. "Would you kindly tell me more about these...parents of yours. I'd like to meet them."

Tell him? Arche told him everything and more. She spoke for hours, pausing only to drink when he pushed a cup of warm rum into her hands. She told him everything. Every little bit of it.

And from this single encounter, the fate of this world changed once more.

A/N: Feels good to get back to my stories like this.

Arche's safe and sound, with her sisters soon to follow. Like hell I'd let them be sold into slavery!

Season Three genuinely shocked me, and I suppose that's why I left for a bit. Read the novels afterward, and...well. Suppose you could say that's what brought me back. Still! I've gathered my wits, marshalled my team, and here we are again.

*bows*

Perhaps I have a bit of a soft spot for Team Foresight given their fate. *Shrugs* Time will tell if they offer their loyalty or die a bloody death. For the record, I want to remind everyone here that they stumbled upon the Great Forest through blind bloody luck, rather than being hired for a job as they were in canon.

Was it foolish of them to just charge in? Yes. Very much so; their arrogance led to them being teleported directly to the throne room.

In this world, Naruto and Ains are more or less equal to one another,

So...in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review, Would You Kindly?

As ever, a warning:

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

PLOT DETAILS AHOY!

YE BE WARNED!

(Previews)

"You made that girl your assistant."

"Every good ruler needs one." Naruto hummed.

"Did...did he just blow up a mountain?"

"Its about making a point."

"I want you to hit me."

"Let there be war. Sweet, glorious war."

"You might call me merciful; but I prefer the term pragmatic."

R&R! =D