"Unsteady"

3:

"Maura…" Jane started, wringing her hands together as she looked apprehensively at her father, just behind the glass walls of the ICU room. He lay in a stiff hospital bed, eyes closed, wires and tubes hooked up to him as machines surrounded his head, the heart machine softly beeping.

Maura rubbed small circles on Jane's back, stepping ever closer to her, "I'll be right beside you." She glanced over Jane's shoulder to meet Angela's eye. Angela, Tommy and Frankie sat in the small makeshift "waiting" room just down the hall as they'd all left the room to allow Jane to visit privately.

"How am I supposed to do this?" Jane muttered, her shoulders slumping as she tried to look everywhere but at her father. Her eyes were downcast, hiding just how broken and exhausted she felt.

"Jane, he's stable," Maura soothed, in the only way she knew how – with medicine and the assurance of facts and figures. She'd spoken with the doctor when they'd arrived, helping the Rizzoli clan to understand the terms and numbers the ER doctor had relayed to them. What she didn't tell Jane was that the doctor said beyond his current stability he was not in the clear – he was going to need surgery. Jane had been away from them when the doctor told them this, and it was a silent agreement that Maura be the one to tell her. Maura knew Jane enough to reserve that information until after she'd visited his side, as she had yet to do so despite the fact that they'd arrived hours ago.

"It's okay," Maura continued, "You can take all the time you need," she spoke, not entirely sure if her words were true. Normally, she would balk at even telling half-truths like that, but she knew Jane needed more support than she'd ever needed before.

Maura got the idea that Jane had never dealt with sickness and uncertainty of this kind before, especially when it involved one of her parents, that she'd never seen one of them so physically weak, so human. The only exception being, perhaps, when her father left, but even then it was a different kind of raw humanness. One could argue that even then, Jane's view of her father as her hero had not been completely shattered. It was such a central belief that Jane held for most of her life that she held onto a sliver of child-like hope that her father would one day redeem himself. It didn't take much for Maura to deduce that the reason Jane was taking this heart attack so badly was because that hope was sliding away, the suddenness of illness shattering that belief.

Jane finally took the steps forward, entering into the small room that held her father. She reached behind her, searching for Maura's hand. Their fingers lacing together, Jane boldly stepped up to his side at the bed.

"God, he looks so…fragile," Jane's frown deepened, etching into her sharp features. Maura made sure to stay close to Jane, at least until Jane made a move otherwise.

"He's on a lot of medication to keep him asleep," Maura spoke softly, as she began to rub her thumb over the back of a scarred hand. She glanced at her friend, trying to gauge her reaction.

Jane squeezed her eyes shut after a moment, her free hand coming up to pinch the bridge of her nose. This couldn't really be happening. Sure, she still harbored some pretty raw feelings toward her father, and sure, she'd had a passing thought right after he left her mother that they'd all be better off without him at all, but it was just a thought, one that she'd immediately felt so guilty for that she tossed up a prayer to God stating that she really, really didn't want her Pop to actually die and she was sorry. She hoped God knew that.

Seeing her father lying there, pale and… weak, made her heart break in ways that only her father had ever been able to do. Her body ached, it felt like her stomach had lept into her throat, choking her. She swallowed multiple times to make the feeling go away, but still it stuck.

"Jane…" Maura began rubbing her arm gently, trying hard to navigate this emotionally charged landscape. "C'mon, you want to sit?"

Jane shook her head harshly, the lump in her throat finally escaping as a choked sob, and she leaned into Maura, feeling Maura's arms envelop her in warmth. Maybe she could be safe there. "I…" she choked, trailing off as the tears overcame her ability to speak and she just sobbed into Maura's shoulder, her face burrowing into the crook where neck met shoulder. Maura cooed softly, rubbing her back and rocking them back and forth, just enough to soothe Jane. Almost like a child, Maura frowned, pressing a kiss to her friend's temple.

"I've got you, Jane," she murmured into a wild mess of dark curls. They stood that way for a few long moments and then Jane's crying quieted noticeably and Maura pulled away just enough to look at her face, "I've got you," she repeated, knowing the words, and the promise held within them, wasn't quite enough at this point, but she said them anyway because they were true.

"I know," Jane nodded and buried her face once more.

During this exchange, the doctor had slid his way into the room, making his presence known by clearing his throat, "Hello," he greeted abruptly.

Embarrassed, Jane pulled away from Maura and wiped furiously at her eyes. She glanced distastefully at the man in the white coat and resisted the urge to roll her eyes, "Hi," she said gruffly, "I'm Jane, Frank's daughter."

"It's nice to meet you, Jane," the doctor swiftly put introductions out of the way and glanced at the clipboard at the bottom of the bed, "I was just coming to inform you that we will be prepping him for surgery soon."

"…Surgery? But I thought he was stable?" Jane's brow furrowed, glancing from her father to the doctor, and then to Maura who was discreetly trying not to make eye contact. But Jane noticed; she always did. "Maura? Did you know this was going to happen?"

"I…" She glanced up at Jane, making brief eye contact. "Yes. I was going to tell you after…"

Jane took a deep breath and turned toward the doctor, "Surgery, for what?"

"He has a lot of damage to his heart, Jane," Maura cut in, as she tried to close the distance between them, "There's a blockage they have to clear."

Jane frowned, "Okay, we gotta go now?" She glanced at the doctor who nodded.

"I can give you a few minutes then the nurses will be in to prep him."

"Alright, thanks," Jane reached over and picked up her father's hand, gingerly holding it in hers, "It's gonna be okay, Pop," she leaned down and kissed the top of his head and then stood straight up, looking back at the doctor, "You doing the surgery?" Once again, the doctor nodded. "Okay, don't fuck up, got it?"

Maura grabbed Jane by the arm, "Jane!" She smiled at the doctor in what she hoped was an apologetic manner.

"What? I mean it," Jane feigned a glare and then smiled a little, "He's my Pop, you know?"

Maura nodded, "I know, Jane, let's go tell your family." She began to lead Jane out to the hallway, nodding at the doctor as she passed, her fingers entwining with Jane's once more, a constant reassurance to Jane as she tried to navigate this landscape. Maura wasn't much one for prayer, but she silently bid a small one that she and Jane and the rest of the Rizzoli's would make it through this unscathed.