There would be no need to dress up if you came to our door,

Because you're unspeakably handsome right down to the core,

If you came Trick-or-Treating, I'd let you enter with a key,

But you're a savage; you bring out the devil in me,

There is one thing I'd give you besides a bag of candy,

And that's a slice of pie, freshly baked and dandy,

The folks have left no cider for you to drink,

But it's typical; they never really stopped to think,

So brush the wool away from your eyes,

And see how the holiday season lies,

Ahead of all the sweat and time it takes to push the grind,

Whether you come here for candy or not,

I'll always be waiting and stirring the witch pot,

For there's a time and a place for all that is keen,

That place is here, and the time is Halloween,

Now it's time to take the pumpkin off your head,

Throw it in the fridge, and come to bed,

But the spiders come; thankfully they have already fed,

The smell of your flesh is sweeter than meat,

I'm no cannibal, but you seem good enough to eat,

You goblin, how else could I feel?

I'm ignoring the monster in the closet and his pet electric eel,

Nothing about you is just a phase,

You're the one I love for now and always,

Happy Halloween.