A/N: I haven't forgotten about the LLTQ FAQ, but life happened and I haven't quite gotten everything ready. Hopefully in the next week or so. In the mean time, this has been sitting around in my WIP folder for 3+ years, and while it's not my best work I don't really feel like putting any more effort into it so I'm just gonna post it. This is my response to the whole 'Marriage Contract' craze from a few years back - highlighting just how bad things can go wrong.

The Perils of Betrothal Contracts

Harry Potter sat back and looked at the stacks of paper of varying heights in front him that nearly covered his kitchen table. It had taken him almost all week to go through, but he'd finally finished sorting through all of the betrothal contracts he'd received on his 21st birthday.

"Wow," he marveled to himself. "I can't believe how many I was sent, not to mention who some of the offers were for. It's a good thing Ginny's been gone all week." He smiled, remembering the pictures some of the contracts had included. He'd burned them all after getting a good look, knowing Ginny wouldn't have liked them at all. Now, all he had to do was deal with each pile appropriately, and he'd be done with this mess. If he was lucky, all but the in-person rejections would be taken care of by the time she came back tonight.

He looked over the five stacks of contracts, mentally cataloging each one as he glanced at it. There were the two piles for his solicitors to deal with; the first and largest one contained contracts from various people whom Harry had never even heard of, and would receive a summary "no thanks" letter and be done with it. The second was much smaller, but required some delicate handling. They were from foreign dignitaries who needed to be told no, but in a diplomatically appropriate way. It wouldn't do to cause an international incident by insulting them accidentally.

The third pile was the second largest, and the one that he hoped he could finish by tonight. These were people who he either knew of by association, or was otherwise acquainted but didn't really have a relationship with. These he would have to send rejection letters to himself, although he could probably duplicate a single letter and just write the appropriate names on and sign. He wished he could have his solicitors do that, but again he didn't want to risk offending someone by accident.

There were two more piles that required his personal attention, but he didn't expect to get them finished anytime soon. Pile number four, the larger of the two, were the people he knew personally, not necessarily friends but more than just acquaintances. He would have to return these contracts in person in order to follow proper etiquette, and tracking them all down would probably take the rest of the summer. At least he knew that they would understand the delay when he did so.

The fifth and final pile was fairly small, only about a dozen, but they would require some special handling on his part. These were the people he not only wanted to reject, but who he wanted to insult in the process. People who had no business sending him betrothal contracts in the first place given their history, like the Parkinsons and the Bulstrodes. The trick was that he wanted to do it in such a way that it was clear he was insulting them, but not blatant enough for them to have any recourse other than to grit their teeth and take it. He was sure that Sirius would have known how to do that, and would have had a lot of fun with it too, but he'd been gone for five years. Maybe Neville could help; he'd send him an owl later and ask.

There was actually a sixth "pile" but that contained only one contract. He really wasn't sure what to do about that one, since there were all sorts if pitfalls with it. Somehow Arthur's great-great-uncle had survived the wars, and had sent a contract for Ginny. He knew he could just accept it since he was already planning on proposing to her, but it just didn't feel right to him. On the other hand, if he rejected it and then proposed to her anyway, it would be seen as an insult to the family for not paying the bride price. He would have to talk to both Ginny and his solicitor about it before making a decision.

Looking back at the various stacks, Harry let out a great sigh, then said, "Well, better get to it if I want to finish anytime soon." With that, he started bundling up the piles for his solicitors, planning on sending them by Owl before he started on his personal rejection letters.

Ginny Weasley stepped out of the fireplace into Harry's apartment, looking forward to spending some time relaxing with her boyfriend. It had been a grueling week, running all over the place on a publicity tour, and if it hadn't been over she wasn't sure she could have finished it. As it was, she knew it wasn't Harry's fault, so she took a few calming breaths, put on a happy face and called out, "I'm back! Did you miss me?"

"I'm In the kitchen, and yes!" shouted Harry and Ginny walked over to see what was keeping him there. When she walked in, Harry was just putting the finishing touches on a large pile of papers on the table, with a few other piles and papers scattered around. "What's all this?" she asked.

"Remember all those betrothal contracts my solicitor informed me of on my birthday?" he inquired, "I decided that since you were off gallivanting around on the other side of the pond without me, I'd go through them and figure out how I needed to deal with them."

It took considerable effort not to scowl at the attempts by other people to steal her boyfriend. "I wasn't gallivanting around," she said irritably as she smacked him on the shoulder, "I was on a goodwill tour of the U.S. with the Harpies, and before you ask, no, it wasn't really all that fun." She sat down and huffed. "It probably would have been great if we'd had twice the time to do it, but instead it was two hours here, Portkey to the next spot location, repeat five times a day for a week, and by the way sleep in some of the dingiest motels you've ever seen."

Harry looked at her sympathetically. He hadn't realized that it was going to be quite so crazy, but now he was extra glad he hadn't gone with her. "Sorry it was so stressful," he said, giving her a hug. "Sounds like neither of us had that great a week."

Ginny considered the stacks on the table and replied, "That doesn't look too bad. What did you spend, a couple hours a day?"

Harry barked out a laugh. "Hardly! This is just the ones that I need to deal with personally in some way or another. I've been writing those responses," he pointed to the large pile he'd just finished when she arrived, "since a bit before lunch. Before that, I sent back all the ones that my solicitors can deal with for me, and that took Hedwig four trips to take them all! I spent the rest of the week sorting through them just to make the piles in the first place."

Ginny stared. "How many were there?" she asked.

"I didn't actually count them, but the note from my solicitor said it was a bit over two thousand," Harry answered, looking a little annoyed. "I also told him that I am explicitly no longer accepting contracts, so at least any new ones will simply get returned unopened." Harry sighed.

Ginny's mouth opened and closed several times, unable to come up with something to say. Harry solved the problem by leaning over and kissing her for a moment, before sitting back up and pointing to the largest pile.

"Those," he said, "are the ones that I've already written rejections to. I could have had my solicitors do that, but it would have been rude and they, at least, didn't deserve it. That pile," he pointed at a much smaller pile right next to it, "are the ones that I hadn't gotten to when you arrived. I'll finish them tonight or tomorrow, just to be done with them."

"Tomorrow," said Ginny, not wanting to give up any time tonight. Harry nodded.

"That pile," he said, pointing to a medium-sized pile on the opposite corner, "are the ones I need to return in person. I suspect it'll take most of the summer to do so, but they're all people we know and it would be very rude to not reject them in person. Fortunately, I expect they'll all understand, although I know at least one of them might be mad at their grandfather." He smiled at that. Hannah Abbott's grandfather meant well, but Harry knew she and Neville were quite close, and expected them to get engaged in the next year as well.

"And that pile," he growled, pointing to a small pile in between the others, "are the ones that require some special attention. I have no idea what they were thinking even sending me those contracts, but I have every intention of politely insulting them when I reject them. I just have to figure out how to do it properly," he said, rubbing his hands together and grinning evilly.

"Who?" asked Ginny.

"Let's see," Harry said, "There's Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bulstrode, a bunch of other Slytherin Death Eater children, and some old spinster named Umbridge." Harry spat on the floor at that last name, while Ginny just goggled.

"You can't be serious!" she exclaimed.

"Unfortunately, I am," he replied. "I intend to make her life miserable for this, but I don't want to give her even a millimeter of leeway for retaliation, so I need to do some planning before I do anything. Ew!" Harry shuddered, then shook his head to clear it.

Ginny shook her head, then smiled. "I bet George would be happy to help, if you thought he could."

Harry grinned. "A worthy suggestion, I'll keep it under advisement." Then he laughed, with Ginny joining him. After they stopped laughing, she noticed that there was one more contract on the table, not in any of the other piles.

"What's that one?" she asked, pointing at the singleton.

"Ah, yes. I haven't decided what to do about that one yet," he said with a smirk. Harry belatedly realized it was the wrong thing to say when Ginny's smile turned to a frown, her face darkening dangerously.

"Harry Potter, how dare you consider marrying anyone else!" she shouted.

"Calm down Ginny," he started, but she cut him off.

"No! You will reject that contract right this instant!"

Harry could tell he was on thin ice, but he knew that just rejecting it without checking with his solicitor might have dire consequences, so he tried to calm her down. "I can't just reject it without making sure there aren't any unfortunate consequences. I need to talk to my solicitor," he trailed off as he saw the look in Ginny's eye. He knew this wasn't going well, but he had no idea just how bad it was about to get.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!" Ginny screamed. "I don't care what the consequences are, you reject it right now or else!" When Harry didn't move right away, she pulled her wand. Harry flinched to avoid her hex, but she didn't point it at him.

"I, Ginevra Molly Weasley, swear on my magic and my life, that I will hate you forever unless you swear that you'll never marry anyone who offered you a betrothal contract right now. So mote it be." Sparks came out of her wand, signifying that the vow had been accepted.

Harry stared in horror, having been too shocked at her actions to try and stop her before it was too late. She had no idea what she'd just done, and given her head of steam there had been no time to talk her down. And now, once she learned the truth, she was going to be devastated by the results. No knowing what else to do, he muttered, "So mote it be," under his breath, and sagged in his chair.

"Well?" she demanded, "what's it going to be?"

Harry looked up at her, his expression pained. "You have no idea what you've done, Ginny. You've given me an impossible choice." Ginny looked confused, although her anger was still visible on her face. "I'm sorry, Ginny, but I can't live with you hating me forever. As much as it pains me, I'll make that vow."

"What do you mean?" asked Ginny, as Harry stood and drew his wand.

"You'll understand in a minute," he replied. "I, Harry James Potter, swear on my magic and my life that I will never marry anyone whose betrothal contract was issued to me. So mote it be."

"So mote it be," repeated Ginny, as the sparks came out of his wand. "Now explain."

"See for yourself," said Harry. He reached over, grabbed the contract, and handed it to her before sitting down and putting his head in his hands, sobbing quietly.

Ginny wondered why he was crying until she opened the contract and started reading. "No!" she exclaimed, horrified at what she saw. "What? How?" Ginny sat down hard, missing her chair and landing on the floor. She didn't seem to notice as she spluttered, "But... but... but..."

"NOOOOOO!" she screamed, causing Harry to flinch, before she too started crying, heart-wrenching sobs as the full impact of her hasty vow was realized.

As Ginny sobbed on the floor, Harry's dam broke and he began crying more openly as well. Eventually he slid off his chair and moved next to Ginny, holding her as they both wept for what they'd lost. A small part of Harry realized that perhaps it was for the best, given her quick temper and apparent propensity towards making unwise vows, but the rest of him knew that he'd never really love someone else the way he loved Ginny.

After they had both exhausted themselves to the point where there were no more tears, Ginny looked over at Harry with a pained expression. "What have I done? Why didn't you stop me?" she asked.

"I thought you were going to hex me, and by the time I realized you were making a vow it was too late to stop it," Harry said. "And at that point, I had two choices. I could take the vow, knowing that I'd never be able to marry you, or I could leave that option open and you'd hate me forever. As much as I wanted to marry you, being married to someone who hates you and can never change isn't how I want to live. I don't know if I can bear to have you in my life as just a friend, but at least I'll know you don't hate me."

"Oh, Harry," she cried, hugging him tightly. "What are we going to do?"

"We move on," he replied, "there's nothing else we can do. You go back to the Harpies and work on being the best Chaser they've ever seen. Hopefully someday you'll find someone else who loves you, and who you love, and you can have that family you always wanted."

"B-But," she stuttered, "what about you?"

"I don't know what I'm going to do," he answered after a minute. "The one thing I do know is that I need some time and space to think. My entire life has just fallen apart, and I hadn't ever thought about what I'd do without you. Plus, I can't fall back on the other contracts even if I wanted to. The vow I took excludes them all too. I think I need to be alone for a while."

Harry stood. "I'm going out for a walk. I think I'd feel better if you went back to your own place, after all this relationship can't go any further anymore. Maybe we can talk about it more later, but not right now." He walked out of the kitchen and towards his room. A minute later, he walked back towards the front door, opened it, and left.

Ginny sat on the floor in Harry's kitchen staring after him for a long time. She couldn't shake the feeling that she'd never see him again, and it was all her fault. Eventually she got up, walked back to the fireplace, and Flooed back to her apartment. She wished she could have just gone to the Burrow, but she wasn't ready to face her Mum.

When Ginny returned to Harry's apartment the following afternoon, she was saddened, but not entirely surprised by what she found. She'd sent Harry an owl inviting him over for lunch to discuss things, but it had been returned as undeliverable. When he didn't respond to Floo call, she'd taken a chance and stepped through, hoping she was still keyed into his apartment.

Upon arrival, it was clear Harry was gone. The furniture was all still there, but all of the little things that made it clear someone lived there were missing. In the kitchen, she found a box on the table, with two notes and what was obviously her betrothal contract on top of it. Picking up the first note, she read it.

Dear Ginny,

I'm sorry I can't be there to tell you this in person, but the hurt is just too great, and seeing you would only make it worse. I know this isn't what you intended, but we all have to live with it now. I don't know when or even if I'll ever come back, so please don't wait for me. I've blocked all owl post delivery for now, as I just need some time alone. If that ever changes, I'll send Hedwig to let you know.

The box on the table contains everything of yours that you had here, along with a few photos of the two of us that I couldn't bear to keep.

Have a good life, Ginny. Go out and find someone to be in love with. Show the world you're the greatest Chaser in Harpies history. Live.

And always remember that I love you, even if we're not part of each other's lives. I promise I'll try to do the same.

Love,
Harry

By the time she was done, there were tears streaming down her face. Harry was gone, and she never even got to say goodbye.

Eventually she put the note down and picked up the other one. This one was more formal, and she knew immediately what it was.

Ginevra Molly Weasley,

I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your betrothal contract, and return it to you herewith. I apologize for not presenting it to you in person, but circumstances have unfortunately prevented me from doing so. If you feel additional redress of grievance is necessary, please contact my solicitors about a satisfactory resolution.

(signed) Harry James Potter

Ginny nodded, knowing that the formal rejection closed any possible connection they still had, at least unless and until Harry chose to return. She put the letters and the contract in her box, took one last look around the apartment, and Flooed home. She had to tell her parents what had happened, and how it was her fault. Maybe then she could start the healing process.