Bernie winced as she rubbed haphazardly at her back, failing to reach the spot that was really giving her trouble. And she knew that if Serena knew she was hurting, she would do something about it in a heartbeat. Well, that is, she would have done something about it, had Bernie not gone and fucked everything all to hell by running off to Kiev and trying to deny the feelings that she had found to be too overwhelming.

Fletch looked up and gave her a concerned look, and Bernie waved him away. "I won't be put off that easily, Bernie. You are not doing well, and I can cover for you for a bit, if you want to take a break."

"I wish that I could, Fletch. I just know that the moment I stop moving, I won't be able to start again, and I'd rather get through this day as soon as I can and then head home to a warm shower."

"Well, just take it a little easier, then, okay? We need you on Keller."

A quick smirk slipped across her lips as she nodded. The very movement twigged the screaming nerves in her back, and she fought to keep a neutral expression on her face as she moved on to her next patient. Still, though, the pain started to almost become unbearable as the day wore on, and finally, finally, Bernie had to admit defeat.

Limping back to her office, Bernie fervently hoped that Serena wasn't there, as she didn't want to explain to the woman why she was in there, close to the of the day, doing absolutely nothing. Heaving a sigh of relief, she collapsed gingerly into the closest chair and closed her eyes as she let her head thump back against the wall. Really, she knew that she shouldn't have strained herself so with that workout, but she had been eager to get some of her frustration over the lack of openness with Serena out of her system.

"If only you weren't such a stupid coward, Wolfe, none of this would have happened. Only took you two days to realize that you had ruined the best thing in your life, and yet you still couldn't swallow your pride enough to admit that you were wrong, could you? You let things fester, and then you lost her. Possibly forever."

The door to the office rattled and she shot up with a start, moaning loudly in pain as she dug her hands into the meat of her thighs in an effort to keep further sounds from escaping her lips. "Oh, I didn't see you in here," Serena said as she paused in the doorway, giving her a concerned look. Bernie went to say something when the woman started to back out the door. "I'll just…"

"No, I won't bother you, I promise. My back is just giving me fits and starts today, and I needed a moment to rest."

"I can massage it for you." There was no real warmth in the offer, and Bernie hated the perfunctoriness of it, missing the friendly inflections that had once colored Serena's voice.

"No, thank you, I'll manage on my own, like I always do." Bernie internally slapped herself for the morose tone in her voice as she struggled to stand up and prove that she was fine without Serena helping her. After all, she wanted to hold onto the memories of that last massage, keep them pristine and tender and dear. If Serena were to touch her now, when there was nothing in her heart for Bernie, that would change the color of her remembrance, and that was the last thing she wanted. Not when she had so few happy memories of them.

It was quite evident to both of them, however, that she would not be able to manage on her own, since Bernie was unable to fully get up from the chair before letting out a long hiss of pain and dropping back down to sit, burying her face in her hands as she struggled to remain calm and collected. "You need to go home."

"I know. Just give me a few minutes and then I'll be out of your hair."

Bernie felt Serena move into the room and brush past her. A small part of her wanted to reach out and grab hold of the fabric of her pants, wanting to soothe herself with something familiar. She knew that would end in disaster, however, so she did nothing more than spread her hands out on her thighs, refusing to look up and see the flat mask that Serena usually put on in her presence these days. In the background, she could hear Serena start to tap away at her keyboard, and slowly, ever so slowly, she started to relax her muscles, hoping that would be enough to get her moving.

"It wouldn't be a hardship for me to help you."

Bernie looked up at the woman through her fringe, and saw that she was gazing at her sadly, as if there was more that she wanted to say, but couldn't. Bernie shook her head carefully. "I'd really rather you didn't."

"Really, Bernie! You're clearly not able to get up and move out of this office to go home in your current state, and I just want to help!" Bernie turned her face up to gaze at Serena, watching as emotion spread across her face, giving it a beautiful cast, and she drew in a short breath. "If I could, I'd make the earth move for you, but I'm not that good!"

They both stared at each other as silence fell over the room. In that moment, Bernie could see her old Serena, the one who still loved and adored her, no matter what stupid stunt she pulled, and so it seemed natural to react as such. "Oh, I think you'd be able to do both quite well, Serena."

The moment the words were out of her mouth, Bernie regretted saying them. Serena's cheeks flamed bright red before she looked at her monitor, as if trying to think of something to say in reply. "I used to believe that you would do the same for me."

"Serena…"

"What, Bernie? What?" For the first time in weeks, the placid façade fell from Serena's face and all thoughts of physical pain fled from Bernie's mind as she found herself staring into Serena's eyes, the sensation of drowning overwhelming her quickly.

"Please, help me."

"All you had to do was ask." A sad smile turned Serena's lips upwards as she stood and made her way over to Bernie's side. Her hand crept out to rest on Bernie's shoulder, and she fought not to move closer to Serena's touch, as she didn't want to spook her. Her thumb ran back and forth hesitantly, catching the edge of her nail on the seam of Bernie's scrub top. "I haven't touched you in so long."

"Too long," she breathed out as Serena stepped behind her, tenderly guiding her to bend down so that she could get to her back. The woman ran her hands down her back, and Bernie tried not to whimper, both from pain and pleasure. "Serena?"

The woman paused as she closed her fingers around the hem of the top. "I want to have as little between my hands and your skin as is decently possible here." There was a note of longing in Serena's voice, and Bernie responded to that as she nodded her agreement. "I'll go as carefully as I can."

"I trust you."

Those words shimmered in the air as Serena gasped. "Oh."

"Yes." Bernie closed her eyes as Serena rolled the top up and off. The thin fabric of her tank top allowed the warmth of Serena's hands to bleed into her skin, and Bernie couldn't help but imagine them at home, in bed, nothing separating their skin. "Your hands are so strong," she whispered as Serena began to work on the contracted muscles, the kinks seeming to unwind beneath her fingertips.

"Yours are stronger. You've always been the stronger of us. I'm just the sentimental fool who moved too fast, and mucked everything up." Her thumb hit a particularly bad spot and Bernie couldn't stop the pained groan that tumbled from her lips. "I'm sorry."

"No, Serena, I'm the one who is sorry. Can, can we start again?"

"And pretend that we never kissed?"

"No. I just want a chance to make things right, to offer your heart some small measure of comfort." Bernie turned her head, hoping that Serena was looking at her. Their eyes met, and Bernie chanced a smile at her. She must have caught Serena off guard, as a wide, open, grin lit up her face, reaching her eyes. "I'm sorry."

Serena's hands paused on her back as she crouched down and studied Bernie's face. "I kissed other people while you were gone. I tried to see if you were right, if I didn't know what I wanted. I threw myself headlong into living, but found that it didn't suit me. I still missed my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?"

"Yes, you blooming idiot, girlfriend. That's the only way to describe you in my head." And then, Serena leaned in and kissed her deeply, bringing her hand up to bury in Bernie's messy blonde hair. It felt so right to lean closer to the woman, to press her lips more forcefully in an effort to feel at one with Serena. "Oh, that is more than enough for right now, Ms. Wolfe. Otherwise we might end up in a compromising position here at work, and we can't have that now, can we?"

Bernie shook her head slowly as her spinning senses came back under her control. "I don't know if I deserve your comfort, Serena."

"Hush, the time for recriminations is over, Bernie." Serene pressed her finger against Bernie's lips, and she couldn't resist kissing it softly. "We've been walking on eggshells for these last two weeks. I don't want to do that any longer, I want you in my life, in my bed. Or is that moving too fast for you? Should I just say that I want supper tonight?"

"Well, seeing as how I'm not really up for anything naughty at the moment, I suppose that we could start with supper."

Serena let out a rush of breath as she nodded. "I think I could be good with that. Though I do have a nice heating pad at home, too."

The quirk in Serena's eyebrow made Bernie laugh aloud. "You are just trying to get me in your bed, I know it."

"Guilty."

"All right, I'll come home with you. As long as you promise to take care of me."

"Deal." Serena patted her cheek tenderly before helping Bernie back into her scrub top. "All right, it's close enough to the end of our shifts where we could duck out a little early and have Ric cover for us."

Bernie sat up and rolled her shoulders, letting out a low sound of relief as she felt some of the pain gone from her back. It wasn't completely fixed, but she knew that that would come with time. "You might have to help me into my coat. I don't know if my arms will work quite so well."

"Berenice! I rather think that you are trying to milk things now," Serena scolded, though the smile never left her lips. Bernie gave her a small shrug and the most innocent look she could muster, hoping that it would still work on Serena. From the slight way she shook her head, Bernie knew that she hadn't lost her touch. "You are incorrigible, I swear."

"That's why you love me."

Again, it seemed like truth was just flowing from her mouth, and she pursed her lips together tightly, suddenly uncertain of how Serena would react. And then, Bernie found that time just seemed to stand still as Serena stepped into her personal space once more, holding onto her arms as she focused on Bernie's face. "Yes. That is why I love you. Or rather, one of myriad reasons why."

The office door rattled once more, but Bernie found that she didn't want to turn and see who was trying to interrupt them. "It's a slow day on Keller Ward, I just popped in to send you both home," Fletch said, and Bernie rolled her eyes a little at Serena, who had to stifle her giggle. "Don't worry, the gossip mill hasn't really started running yet. Though there are going to be a few people who aren't going to be so happy. It's seems you've broken the pool."

"And just why would that make you happy?" Serena asked archly, gazing around Bernie to glare at the younger man.

"Because it means that I've won, and that so rarely happens to me. Have a wonderful evening, ladies."

Serena shook her head as the door closed. "I don't know who is worse. You or him."

"Him, of course. You know you can always get me in line."

"There is that, Ms. Wolfe."

Bernie felt her core clench with desire at that tone, and she bit her lip as she reached out for her coat. "Sometimes, I rather think that you are the incorrigible one."

"I just keep you on your toes," she replied as she guided the sleeves of the coat onto Bernie's arms and smoothed the fabric gently over her back, taking care not to push too hard. Bernie was grateful for the concern, but still found herself craving a firmer touch. "Let's get home."

Home. That word sounded so beautiful coming from Serena's lips, and Bernie nodded, even as tears filled her eyes once more. "Okay." Trustingly, Bernie took hold of Serena's hand, no longer caring who might be watching. Together, they made their way out into the cold evening air, and she shivered, welcoming the way that Serena stepped closer, wrapping her arm around Bernie's waist and offering some of her warmth as they walked.

Bernie climbed into the passenger side of Serena's car, trying to make herself comfortable. As Serena drove, Bernie managed to turn onto her side and watch her girlfriend. It felt weird to label their relationship as such, since everything between them still felt nebulous. "You don't need to watch me, you know."

"But I do. I've not been able to look for so long that I have to make up for lost time."

Serena swallowed thickly, and as Bernie watched, a few tears began to roll down her cheeks. "I've tried to keep all this under control for the last few months. If I let out these feelings, I thought I would become overwhelmed. Now, I just think that I'm drowning. Will you rescue me?"

Bernie knew that Serena was placing a lot of trust in her, by admitting those feelings that she had kept buried in her heart for so long. Reaching out, she cupped the ball of Serena's shoulder, squeezing lightly as she tried to come up with the right words for her Serena. That thought took her aback a little, and she dug her fingers in a little more tightly, watching as Serena winced a little. "Sorry, I don't mean to hurt you. I just had a very earth shaking thought."

"And that would be?" the other woman asked warily.

"That I consider you mine, which means that I will always try to rescue you. I don't know if I'll always be successful, I'm not a deity, after all. But I will try to catch you, should you fall."

Serena took her eyes off the road for one brief moment, love and hope coloring her expression. "Maybe that's all I need." Bernie shook her head, never looking away from Serena. "What?"

"You deserve so much more than just a broken fool like me."

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong. Hemingway said that the world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are stronger at those broken places. What you've seen in life has made you who you are, and you are exactly what I need to fix my broken places."

Bernie let out a sighing breath as she ran her hand down to the crook of Serena's elbow, settling it there as she continued to drive. Finally, they were pulling into the drive of a beautiful estate, and Bernie felt her eyes widen as she realized this was the place her girlfriend called home. "This is amazing," she breathed out as she gingerly climbed from the car, taking care not to jostle things too much.

"It's just a building."

"But it's the building where you make your home."

Serena shook her head a little, giving her a sweet smile. "No, Bernie. Home is people, the people you feel safe with, the people who you can't live without. Elinor, Jason, you, you're my home. This, this all means nothing compared to that."

Bernie closed her eyes as she smiled and nodded, the domestic picture thoroughly blissful to her. With her eyes closed, she felt Serena come into her bubble and let herself relax as the other woman slipped her arms around her waist, letting her head come to rest on Bernie's chest. This embrace was so right, so perfect, that Bernie had to fight the creeping edge of panic from escaping the dark recesses of her mind. "I love you," she finally murmured against Serena's temple. "And that scares the hell out of me, Ser. There's a part of my mind that's screaming for me to cut my losses and run, now."

"Don't listen to that voice. Listen to mine."

"If only it were that easy, Fraulein. I'm really, awfully, good at running."

"Maybe it's because no one ever gave you a reason to stay." There was defiance in Serena's voice, and that made Bernie chuckle as she nuzzled her cheek the silky strands of her beloved's hair. "You know, I told you, before you fucked off to Kiev, that I didn't want you to go. I said it wrong."

"You did?" Bernie replied as they began to head into the house, both unwilling to let the other go, feeling safe tangled up in each other's arms.

"I did. What I meant to say is that I wanted you, oh so desperately, to stay. There's a difference in those two phrases, even if they essentially mean the same thing."

Jason cleared his throat, and Bernie quickly let go of Serena, not certain how he would take their closeness. "Doctor Bernie! You're here, finally. Auntie Serena has been telling me that there would come a time when I'd see you again."

The indescribable joy that filled Bernie's heart at the knowledge that even while things had been at tenterhooks between them at work, Serena had still known that they would be together in the end caused a bright smile to sweep across her face as she nodded. "Yes. It just took us some time to work out the kinks in my return home."

"And everything between you is all good now? You've told each other that you love each other?"

She turned her head slowly to look at Serena, watching another blush bloom on her cheeks. "Yes. We've told each other that. That was the most important thing, after all."

"Oh, just like in Moulin Rouge!" Bernie cocked her head to one side, even as Serena groaned a little. "Have you not seen that movie?"

"No, Jason, I can't say that I have."

"Oh, good, we can watch that, then!"
Serena let out another groan. "I cannot believe you did this, Berenice!" She turned and gave Serena an inquisitive look. "You'll see." Bernie frowned a little as she watched the woman almost stomp off in the direction of what she assumed was the kitchen, leaving her with Jason.

"Auntie Serena doesn't particularly care for musicals, especially this one. I think that's because it makes her too sad."

Bernie cocked her head to one side, wondering if she could use this to her advantage. The smile that turned Jason's lips upwards gave her some clue that he was thinking the same thing, though for vastly different reasons, she assumed. "Well, is there anything we can do to help Serena out?" she asked, feeling like she had to do something.

"We could get the table ready. That's my usual job at least." Bernie flashed Jason a smile as she nodded, following after him as they joined Serena in the kitchen. "The plates are in the cupboard next to the sink, I'll get out the cutlery."

Serena still seemed to be in a cross mood, however, since she was grumbling under her breath as she buttered slices of bread. "You should pull out the smaller bowls, too, since we're having tomato soup as well."

"Oh, that will be perfect for a cold night like tonight," Bernie said as she opened the cupboard and got out the required plates and bowls. Unable to resist, she stepped closer to Serena, checking her hip a little in an effort to get her out of her funk. She looked at Bernie darkly, however, so Bernie arched an eyebrow before bumping her again.

"Bernie," she replied warningly, and she shrugged before leaning in and placing a quick kiss on Serena's cheek. "None of that now, we have more important things to focus on."

"Yes, Ms. Campbell," Bernie said teasingly as she turned and went over to the table, setting it at the places Jason had already set up. "And what are we going to have to drink?"

"There's a bottle of Shiraz that you can let breathe for the movie, but we normally have water with our meals." Serena waved her hand, and Bernie gazed at the direction she indicated, quickly finding the bottle and opener. While she uncorked the wine, Jason filled glasses with ice and water, setting them into their spots before taking a seat.

"All right, we're ready. Is there anything else I can do to help?"

Serena peeked over her shoulder, giving her a tired smile. "I'm perfectly fine, Bernie. And you need to relax, given the way your back was acting up earlier today. Sit, rest, I'll serve you tonight."

"Fine." Serena rolled her eyes before turning back to the stove, her grumbling more subdued. A smirk crossed Bernie's face as she sank down next to Jason, across from where Serena would be. "So, Jason, tell me about what you've been up to while I was in Kiev."

"Taking care of Auntie Serena, actually. I actually have a list of all the ways that I tried to make her feel better while you were gone. A few of them worked better than others, so they have a star next to them. I'll be right back."

Jason hurriedly left the room, and for the first time, Bernie knew that she had severely underestimated how much her rash decision had hurt her friend. Hopefully, this evening would be the first step in offering Serena her deepest, heartfelt, remorse, and that they really could start afresh.