AN: I wrote this for the battleships Challenge: 1D

Please let me know how you like this Ronks angst. Not my favorite pairing, but I think I did okay.


Remus vehemently stalks into his house, the one he shares with his wife, and goes into the kitchen to grab his firewhiskey and a glass. He pours himself and drink, and when he sets his glass down a little too hard, it sloshes some liquor onto the mahogany table.

He can't bring himself to think of being rejected by someone he considers his own child. Being shown the door by the one person whose opinion of him would matter. He was so infinitely sure that Harry would take his side, and his help, but he experienced a whiplash answer, so emotional and angry that he couldn't turn back. He had to stay, fixed on trying to explain his reasoning, so that Harry would understand and not hate him. In the end, he didn't win the argument, and now someone he holds dear to him, is lost and thinks of him as a coward. Running away into the night, and isn't that what he is after all?

He takes two shots of firewhiskey.

He's right though, Remus thinks. It's all true about him, the reason for wanting out of the house, and taking on dangerous adventures, is so he doesn't have to know the truth about his son. His wife, pregnant with his son. Who knows what kind of fetus the two of them will produce? It could be part werewolf, or metamophagus, or both ... some strange percentage of both, could you imagine his life? He'd be in a huge minority of people, if not the only one of his kind. How can he raise a baby that might go on to terrorize people? What if the little one would like to bite? Remus just can't know ...

The image of a baby werewolf biting all his friends, brings his attention to the bottle in front of him again. He takes another two shots.

His wife hates him too, and how could she not? He's practically ignoring her needs, and refusing to come up with names. She's not even living with him anymore, for her own safety because Remus won't encourage, nor acknowledge her pregnancy. She's been living with Andromeda for the last two weeks, and it's been the loneliest time of his life. He hates himself for making his beautiful wife feel utterly like shit. It's not her that he's trying to hurt, but the baby inside of her. He can't help thinking that it will turn out like a monster. Everyone that he associates himself with gets hurt.

He slinks down in his seat a little more, and rubs his face with his hands. Looks at the quarter empty bottle, and takes two more shots.

He hiccups and gazes out the window, the moon almost full with just a tiny little sliver left to fill it out completely. His heart beats faster, and he just doesn't know what to do. He's at a loss for words, and all out of options. This is the last nail in his coffin. He needs to man up, and forget his own selfishness.

He gets out of his chair, albeit a little dizzy, and holds onto it for support. Concentrates with his whole body, wishing and wanting to make everything alright again, and hoping that he won't mess it up. He closes his eyes and thinks, vaguely, of the person he would most like to be with at the moment, his wife and son. Without knowing where Andromeda actually lives (Tonks refused to tell him) he arrives at a small cottage. Alarms make ear-splitting cries, but almost instantly a witch comes outside with her wand brandished. Remus doesn't pull his own onto his sister-in-law.

"Please, I want to see my wife." It became an obsession in the short time that he resolved to see her in the kitchen. It suddenly took over his whole mind, to check on her and look at her face, to see her healthy and eating.

Andromeda led him inside, and knocked on Tonk's bedroom door. "She might not take kindly to seeing you. She's had a hard time, you know?"

Remus' frown deepens. It disappoints him like no other to be the reason for her upset. A husband is supposed to love no matter what, till death do them apart. He forgot in a moment of weakness what he vowed.

The door opens, and Tonks stares at him with an expression of mild terror. "What! Why's he here?"

"Now, now Nymphadora, just give him a listen." She says quickly. Andromeda turns to Remus and states, "You had better be here to apologize."

"Don't call me Nymphadora!" Her hair turns red, and then blue, and then finally settles on a deep shade of purple.

"Tonks, pleeease come out, and let me explain myself. I'm sooo sorry, okay? I realize my selfishness! I just want to seeee you."

She must have huffed behind the door. "It's only because the full moon is out tomorrow. You just want me home for that."

Remus' expression turns from confusion to heart achingly dull with sadness. He couldn't take the blow of her mistrust. Tears well up in his eyes.

"Babeey, can I just tellll youu that I'm done being a cowarrrd. I lovvee youu and the babyy, and we can namee him whateverrr you wannt."

There is silence from behind the door. A moment later, with a completely different tone, "Remus? Are you drunk?"

"Yess, I am. It's because I cannot stand it anyymore! Harrrrryy did not want thisss, norr do youu, so what am I doin?"

Behind the door, Tonks quirks her head in confusion. "What does Harry have to do with all of this?"

"Thatss what I am tryin to tell youuu, so juss come out now," he slurs.

He hardly ever drinks alcohol, only when Sirius persuaded him in school. He suddenly can't handle his own weight anymore, like gravity is being too hard on him and pulling him to the ground. Childishly, he sinks to the floor and leans his back against the door.

Tonks wonders about the minutes of full-blown silence that follow his final request. Inside her room where she's been living like Rapunzel, knowing that someone will come save her eventually. In that regard, it's unlike her to act so vulnerable, but it's a side of her she would only show to those most trusted, and that trust was broken with the slam of a door. It is Tonk's choice to decide to forgive him, and give him a chance to vocalize his want in raising their son.

Their son will be able to do this for the both of them, heal their hurting. Remus doesn't understand because he's not carrying the child. Not only that, but he's blinded by his pessimistic views of what will happen. Tonks is already so attached to the little one, and she knows in the deepest cockles in her heart, that he won't be afflicted with anything horrible. He will be the tie, and proof that the consummation of their love was not a mistake. Remus will come to love the child once he is born. It's getting past the unknown that will finalize their strength in each other.

She draws in a long breath and opens the door to find him looking up at her hopefully with fiery eyes. They exchange looks, and in an instant they both needed each other so much. In just a gaze, they can see how much they miss each other. She sits down on the floor and her arms wrap around his back, and Tonk's holds on for the longest time. She loves him so much, and it's hard to see him this way, especially over something so important to the both of them. Anger wells up like a tsunami wave inside her, but she quells the pain. She turns it into a scab, and allows her pride to fire up again. Remus left because of their child, but returned for her, because he loves her too. They will get through the unknown together, always at each others sides until death.