This is something I'll be doing along with "Mei Ling's Return". I guess you could consider this my "outlet" in case I have writer's block for either story. Anyways, I'll continue updating both of them as soon as I am able. I have got nothing more to say, so without further ado, here is the fanfic you wanted to read! (hopefully... aww whatever. I won't flatter myself).

KFP: Tale of the Feline Assassin

(Disclaimer: I don't own KFP or anything related to it. Now leave me alone Dreamworks :P)

"Argh! Owwwie-Ow! Ooohooohooooo! Anywhere but the tenders!"

Po, otherwise known as the legendary Dragon Warrior, was lying there feebly sprawled on his back at the very foot of the stairs. The stairs led all the way up to the Jade Palace, and proudly possessed one thousand steps on them. Obviously, falling down them consecutively for the third time in the same day was not usually considered a normal day-in-the-life of a Chinese citizen.

Po was luckily protected by the layers of "padding" he naturally had all over his body. Some er-, many choice others would call it "fat", but the panda's sensitive side would often frown upon that humiliatingly accurate statement. Nevertheless, he toughened out the precarious fall down the great stairs without any bruises this time. Thankfully. The poor panda probably couldn't take another harsh beatdown by architecture for the day.

The citizens of the Valley of Peace lazily milled about, enjoying all the time they had amongst themselves and paid no attention to the panda who was casually brushing himself off after causing a loud commotion at the very bottom of the Jade Palace stairs. Apparently, they had all grown accustomed to hearing the Dragon Warrior's agonized screams from the first thing in the morning and lasting all the way to the end of the day. How pleasant.

"Ugh... How does Crane's 'Wings of Justice' technique have THAT much force behind it? It's just a large gust of air... Heheh, who'd have thought?"

Po got up after dusting off his shorts with his meaty paws and popped the bones that he could, checking for any signs of breaks or fractures. He found none. He was now one-hundred percent unharmed and ready for action. The panda glanced upwards at the Jade Palace and groaned when he realized that he had to climb all the way up yet again only to probably be sent flying down towards the stairs for the fourth sequential time.

It was currently sunset, but the Dragon Warrior's physical abuse would continue well towards midnight due to his recently discovered list of "Excuses-I-Can-Say-to-Master-Shifu-In-Order-to-Avoid-Training". The panda and everyone else in the Valley of Peace would have thought that saving China twice from equally ruthless evildoers would have at the very least earned him a couple of lenient breaks. Unfortunately, Master Shifu thought otherwise.

The Furious Four laughed and shared a moment when the discovery of the "contraband material" happened, leaving a very sheepish panda who twiddled his thumbs nervously as the Grandmaster of the Jade Palace had given him the worst death glare known to all of China. If you ask the Dragon Warrior himself, he would even dare to say that the fury of a kung-fu grandmaster was on a scale of something even larger than the country of China, and maybe even Asia. But then again, Po's opinion towards the red panda is quite biased, considering his daily punishments received from him. At least a certain simian friend of his would cool down Shifu's simmering rage to a mere quiet anger.

At least a certain simian friend of his would cool down Shifu's simmering rage to a mere quiet anger so that at the end of the day, master and pupil were still in their respective positions, with no hard feelings towards each other.

Speaking of which, the panda had finally made it up the stairs and was laying on his back once again, very much out of breath and stubbornly refusing to get up with exhaustion as his motivation for his insubordination. That is, until a slim, brown hand with a wrist bracer entered his peripheral vision, offering a hand for support. Po took it gratefully, and when he got up, the Dragon Warrior was met with the amused eyes of the residents of the Jade Palace.

Crane, Mantis, Viper, Master Shifu, and of course Monkey all held barely repressed smiles at his arrival. They had all warmed up greatly to the panda's childish personality after he saved the valley from Tai Lung and most recently, liberated Gongmen City from the clutches from Lord Shen. The Dragon Warrior certainly had a reputation going on for him if he didn't already.

Po gave the Furious Four a thumbs-up gesture, turned to his petite-in-size master, and asked, "So who am I gonna spar against next? The only other options are either you Master, or Mantis."

The mentioned red panda placed both of his nimble paws behind his back respectfully and replied, "In consideration of your recent efforts during training, I think that a small dismissal would from the rest of our exercises would suffice for now-".

"Woohoo!" The panda cheered while holding up a hand signaling a high-five for anyone willing to accept it. Awkwardly, no one noticed so he was left hanging there. Fortunately, Master Shifu saved him from further humiliation and made his way to his side all the while clearing his throat, which directed the center of attention back towards him. All of the Jade Palace members had their full attentiveness towards the red panda. Even the usually distracted Dragon Warrior, which was quite unusual. The elderly master then fixed all of them a very firm glare and lingered deliberately on the usually troublesome panda, who anxiously grinned at him pretending to feign ignorance.

"But," the red panda added icily, "if anyone decides to take advantage of my generosity, then I will personally put the offending person through a combat regiment similar to Po's training on his first day at the Jade Palace. I'm sure you all remember the specific details. If not, I'll be glad to help you recall it. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Master," they all acknowledged, especially the Dragon Warrior, who was visibly shaking much to his dismay. Master Shifu smiled inwardly. Perhaps he did, in fact, have some ounce of control left over his students.

"Wonderful. Now, if there aren't any more questions, comments, or snide remarks-. Yes Panda, that last part was directed towards you above all the others. Anyways, you are all dismissed. Enjoy the rest of your free time. I expect the same, if not better, quality of your performances when the sun rises again tomorrow."

"Thank you, Master Shifu..."

(Bandit hideout. Location: Unknown)

"DAMN IT! WHY WASN'T I INFORMED THAT SHEN DIED THREE WEEKS AGO! COURIERS, MESSENGER GEESE, AND ALL THEIR ILK ARE THE EPITOME OF DISAPPOINTMENTS THESE DAYS!"

A male feline, more specifically, a tiger, was angrily pacing back and forth around his narrow table. Scrolls were scattered everywhere in his state of rage, and on an adjacent wall, there was a messenger goose. The tiger getting furious was actually a common occurrence, but the only difference was that the mentioned goose had taken its last dying breath not too long ago and was simply a wall ornament now. There was a wicked dagger slowly dripping blood from where the goose had been mercilessly stabbed in the neck, meant to further pin his frail figure to the wall in quite the sadistic manner. Quaint...

"AND NOW I NEED A NEW MESSENGER. AGAIN! WHY CAN'T THEY JUST GIVE ME BLOODY GOOD NEWS FOR ONCE!"

The interior of the building shook violently as the tiger vented his anger, along with an unholy amount of curses and vulgar profanities that even Satan himself would reel away from. Crocs, oxen, water buffalo, and various other bandits outside the structure turned towards the disturbance, sighed tiredly, and continued on with their usual business. This was all a part of the daily life of being a bandit. More specifically, HIS group of bandits. To mention the tiger's name was to have a public execution, in which the violator would have their throat slowly slit so he could forcibly endure more anguish before the inevitable and sweet embrace of the end.

The hideout was a generally safe environment other than the company that it kept concealed within it. For one, it was located in the very center of an isolated clearing that was surrounded by a dense number of pine trees. The area was off the maps therefore, it was expedient for a bandit or fugitive to hide there. The hideout contained myriad amounts of tents with a single stone settlement in the middle. That building was currently what the feline bandit leader used as a headquarter, and where he placed himself in for the greater duration of the day.

To top it all off, the perimeter of the clearing had tall wooden barriers with spikes protruding from the tip, with rotting skulls lying on top, warding away the occasional curious straggler/adventurer. Quite the tourist attraction.

A loud and sonorous slam could be heard reverberating throughout the hideout as the only metal door the stone settlement had was kicked down roughly from its hinges. Exiting the building was the furious tiger, with a crushed scroll in his massive paw. The nearest bandits quietly gulped and tried to avert their eyes from the obviously vexed tiger as he scanned his surroundings, his extremely red eyes missing nothing. Or were they just bloodshot from lack of sleep? What the bandits knew, however, was that the feline's temper was not one to be trifled with.

Apparently, the ex-messenger goose had done just that with the message he brought.

The tiger visibly stiffened when a steady hoof placed itself upon his soldier but relaxed when he looked into the firm and indomitable eyes of his second-in-command. The feline shook him off indignantly, his anger still needing time to cool down.

"The next limb that you touch me with is gonna come off with the assistance of a bastard-sword. No matter your intentions or the length of your offending appendage. A fair warning so that you only have yourself to blame when it occurs."

"Hmph. I should have expected as much. Alright then. I shall abide by your wishes."

"Smartest thing you've said all week..."

By the tiger's side was an abnormally large boar. The boar had rough, gray fur and multiple scars running throughout his body. It signified his experience in battle, as well as his endurance towards physical pain. The second-in-command only wore light armor, as his hide was strong enough to absorb the impact of any blade, whether it be a wooden butter knife or an ebony butcher's cleaver. The boar learned this from experience.

The two of them stayed that way, in front of the broken metal door that was now useless, surveying the area for bandits that were slacking off on their assigned duties. If one did not look close enough, the figures residing in the clearing could have almost been mistaken for a group of mercenaries, with the orange feline as the commander. Of course, the bandits' uncommonly brutal methods of "getting things done" quickly disproved that statement whenever the opportunity arose. It wasn't until the tiger spoke was the heavy silence that continued to thicken between them finally broken.

"Lord Shen, my recent associate and most influential client in Gongmen City has been killed. And by his own collapsing hunk of metal, to top it all off... That overly arrogant chicken moron. To think that I had decided to generously fund a huge portion of his supposed 'Bringer of the End of Kung Fu'."

"He was a peacock-"

"Shut up. Before he died, however, the scroll I read from that failure-of-a-messenger-goose claimed that this so-called 'Dragon Warrior' was there to bring forth his demise. Some mystical hocus-pocus about 'Inner Peace' and whatnot."

"I heard... You're not very subtle in masking your reactions towards bad news, sir."

The tiger craned his neck sideways to firmly glare at the boar. The swine took no regard to this and continued to look forwards off into the distance. Fortunately, the feline leader decided not to enforce discipline upon his mutual ally. One, because it would have been nearly impossible to wound him but still doable, and two, because the tiger felt too lazy to.

"Whatever. I think that we should send someone to teach this 'Dragon Warrior' a lesson." The feline stated this with the mockery and ridicule clearly evident in his tone. The boar could practically see the harsh, but metaphorical venom that held sinister insinuations drip from his fangs. The bandit leader looked especially deadly when he continued speaking and his voice dropped a pitch lower as to indicate the direction of where his dark thoughts were heading.

Even though that over-sized chicken was a pain in the neck, he and his wolves were under MY influence in Gongmen, and I don't take kindly to open acts of aggression against things I own, whether it be intentional or unintentional. Hmmm... Maybe I should send a subtle food poisoner or even an assassin to get rid of this sudden dilemma. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Do you have anyone in particular that you want to send towards this untimely impediment?"

"That I do my friend. That I do... By the way, I don't suppose that you know where this legendary warrior resides?"

"The Dragon Warrior takes residence in the Jade Palace within the Valley of Peace. Or at the local noodle shop there if you're lucky."

"Perfect. Let's just hope the Dragon Warrior can live up to his expectations and repertoire then. It'd be an anticlimactic shame if he died so abruptly... Though I wouldn't mind in the slightest how he passes from this world..."

Author's Note: I'll keep these chapters rolling in, but remember I'm not a machine! (Lol). By the way, I'm a sucker for reviews, so unleash all you got down there! (For some reason, that sounded incredibly dirty...) Anyways, I'll take my leave now. See y'all next chapter! :D