Hey y'all, this is the second story I will be working on.

As you can probably tell it is a Naruto SI fic centered around the abuse of the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu.

Yes, Naruto will eventually get extremely strong, but no more overpowered then say Endgame Sasuke, Madara, Hashirama, etc.

No, Naruto will unfortunately NOT be doing much curb stomping until at least the Chunin Exams.

Yes, I will try to get through the Wave Arc with as little hassle as possible.

I'm debating working on one more story in addition to the two I currently have going.

Thinking about a Champione! fic and I might do another SI as those seem to be what the plot bunnies have been devising in their warren within my head.


*I do not own Naruto or any of the Characters, Events, Jutsu, or ideas seen within Naruto. I do not receive payment for my efforts in writing this story. *

Due to the OVERWHELMING number of complaint about this story involving the "speech" scene at the Academy, I decided to change it slightly. Hopefully this will satisfy those readers at least somewhat, without straying from what I was originally trying to show.

Which was the fact that our SI might have "adult thought patterns" or an "adult mind", but that he still has a "child's brain", brain chemistry, and body. This obviously is affecting his decision making ability and causing him to overestimate himself and his choices.

In addition to that, the (Parenthesis) are meant to show the presence of and difference between OG Naruto and our SI, just incase some of you didn't catch on to that.

Without preventing y'all from reading any longer, have at it!


Chapter 1: Initiate Kage Bunshin Curb Stomp Phase 1 - REVISED

Who the fuck trashed my room?

That was my first thought as I woke up and looked around.

My second was why did my head hurt so damn bad?

I put a hand to my head and rubbed my temples for a few moments before my headache started to fade, which was my first clue that something wasn't quite right. The clincher to that fact was when my eyes snapped open and I realized that this shit hole wasn't, in fact, my room.

Except I knew that it was actually my room and that the villagers were responsible for its abysmal shape. I marveled over my new (commonly used) vocabulary and marveled over the fact that I was marveling over using such a common term.

I got up and my head didn't rise very far from where it had been when I was sitting on my (not my) bed. Despite being so much shorter (the same height) as I was used to I moved relatively gracefully. I walked into the bathroom and looked at (not) my reflection in the mirror.

I was short (waiting for my growth spurt-ttebayo), had spiky, golden blond hair under a stupid (cool) sleeping hat, had cerulean, blue eyes, chubby cheeks, and three scar-like birthmarks on each cheek…

Holy Shit.

I'm Naruto (The Future Hokage-DATTEBAYO!). That can't be right I'm not (SO) Uzumaki Naruto! However, I know that I'm (not) Naruto!

I mean I can remember my entire life! I went to school (the academy) and graduated in one (three) try (tries) at the top (bottom) of my class. I (have never) had a girlfriend, well several, but hadn't found the right one for me. I had (no) parents, and (no) siblings.

I had (no) family! I lived in the normal world where Naruto was an anime protagonist, which I found to be really, REALLY, awesome all of a sudden.

As I stared into my reflection's blue orbs I decided to try and be logical about this whole thing. Apparently I was in Naruto's (my) body. From what I could tell I had all of his (my) memories about his (my) upbringing, training, and all of the people he (I) knew.

But more important, was that I also somehow instinctually knew that I could use all of his (my AWESOME) skills. That included his (my) awful (not great) chakra control, his (my) stupidly large chakra reserves, his (my) unrelenting energy, and his (my) fuzz ball of a tenant.

That…that was good. If I had to be in this world, a world where people could destroy forests, create worldwide illusions, steal hearts to extend their life, and on and on, being the main character, who was also a hideous waste (untapped treasure trove) of potential, wasn't that bad of an option.

Assuming of course that I wasn't hallucinating or in a coma somewhere, then I was actually in the world of Naruto and being someone who had stupid chakra levels, a surprising amount of talent, more guts than just about anyone ever, and always won in the end was a good thing.

Obviously I would rather be someone like Sasuke (teme), Kabuto, or Madara, but Naruto would do (was awesome).

Though what had to be the absolute best part of the situation? Last night was the night Naruto (I) stole the scroll for Mizuki's fake graduation exam. Meaning that I knew a jutsu that given enough time would arguably be more hax than the Cheatingan itself.

Yes, I knew the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu and I had two weeks to abuse the Hell out of it to catch myself up to my peers before squads were assigned.

So, what was I going to do with the several hundred clones this awesome technique provided? Start training nature transformations? Learn awesome new ninjutsu?

Nope.

I was going to master the basics. That meant sending a few hundred clones to both of Konoha's libraries, the civilian one and the shinobi one, and having them read everything a potential Genin is allowed to in order to increase my knowledge of this world and NOT be a dobe.

I also really needed a BINGO book as that would help explain away some of my future knowledge.

While that happens another few hundred of my clones will start the tree climbing exercise, and then alternating between the leaf sticking and spinning exercise and practicing hand seals while doing the tree climbing for added control benefits as it seems that having my admittedly superior intellect in Naruto's (my) body seems to have increased my chakra capacity and its potency even more.

Finally, a few other clones will be henging into random other people, buying me food that has proper nutrition, so I don't have to be a chibi (wait for my growth spurt) for a few years, Kurama's chakra and the Uzumaki vitality should sort out my vertical problem shortly once I provide my body with the needed nutrients, and correcting my wardrobe.

I seem to have inherited Naruto's (my) love of the color orange, but I know that orange is not a suitable color for a Genin. Maybe I'll incorporate it into my outfit when I'm a Jonin…maybe.

While my clones are doing that, I will be hunting down a certain spandex-wearing freak in order to exercise my inner masochist, I mean learn taijutsu. Hopefully Gai will take pity and accept me as a student and provide me with weights to wear as I train.

I chose Maito Gai not only for his talent in taijutsu, and his talent in teaching said taijutsu to a handicapped shinobi like Rock Lee, but also for his crazy dedication to physical fitness. If a virtually normal person like Rock Lee can be trained into such a beast, then with my new body's crazy vitality and recovery speed in addition to Kurama's chakra healing all of my injuries in minutes, making breaking bones a nonissue, because bones don't actually get stronger when they break, and tearing muscles would only help as they do get stronger after being broken down.

Which happens to make me a perfect candidate to learn the Goken, and hopefully I'll be able to add a little something-something to make it my own personal style down the line. It'll be awesome, you can bet on it-ttebayo! OH FUCK NO! I refuse to adopt that STUPID (AWESOME) verbal tic.

Enough monologuing to myself, it's time for me to get to work on transforming myself from a dobe into a genius, both of talent and of hard work.


I couldn't remember where Team Guy was supposed to train in canon, so I used fanfiction as my guide and tried searching in the areas around training ground 9. It turns out fanfiction was correct and I didn't need to waste my time or chakra to use clones to help me search.

When I found Gai and his mini me, they were without Neji and Tenten. I assumed that it was a day off and the two were simply training fanatics before shrugging to myself and approaching them.

"YOSHHHHHH! LEE! Fan the flames of your YOUTH with another 500 push ups!" The larger bushy-brows bellowed.

"HAI, GAI-SENSEI! And if I cannot do that then I will run around the village 50 times before lunch!" Yelled out the mini bushy-brows.

"How YOUTHFUL my prized student! I will help you, and if you cannot do that then I shall climb the Hokage Monument with my pinkies and three boulders tied to my back!" The bigger one rejoined excitedly.

My right eyebrow started to twitch.

"GAI-SENSEI!" Lee screamed.

"LEE!" Gai returned.

I was reconsidering my decision, but I was already committed. And I didn't want to trust simple luck to keep me alive in the future, not with all of the stupidly powerful people that will be trying to kill me in the future.

"Excuse me." I cut the two spandex wearing freaks before they could initiate their sunset genjutsu of…(youth) homoeroticism.

They cut off their screaming and hugging in order to turn and see who interrupted them. Gai's face took on a look of surprise for a moment before he hid it behind a mask of congeniality.

"OH, Lee we have a guest! Who are you my young friend? Are you here to FAN THE FIRES OF YOUR YOUTH!?" Gai knew exactly who this boy was, but it wouldn't do to act as if he did. Deceiving the child was such an unyouthful act, but it was on the Hokage's orders.

"YOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUTTTTTTHHHHHHH!" Lee shrieked, reminding me of Sakura in a sick and twisted way.

"Umm…my name is Uzumaki Naruto, and in a way I suppose I am?" I shrugged, really put off by the two of them. Even though I knew they were basically two of the very few people in Konoha who wouldn't look down on me and would help me grow stronger at the moment.

I scuffed the ground with the toe of my sandal and looked down bashfully as I asked my question and put my future in Gai's hands. "I-I was hoping that you would help me train in taijutsu. I heard from some of the other shinobi talking that you were an expert Gai-san."

I glanced up and saw a strange look on Gai's face and an excited one on Lee's, so I hurried to explain my reasoning in the hopes that Lee's enthusiasm and my reasons would influence him to say yes.

Gai wasn't sure how to feel. He knew that the boy wasn't the Kyuubi, but he also knew of his bad reputation as a loudmouth, obnoxious brat, and as a chronic prankster. However the child before him didn't seem to be either of those two things, but someone honestly seeking guidance and help in becoming stronger.

"I, well, I'm not very well liked by most people in the village." I began, Lee seemed to be confused, but Gai obviously understood.

"So the instructors at the academy found ways to sabotage me, either by training me wrong or by finding ways to avoid training me altogether. So eventually I gave up trying to learn from them, sadly that included just about everything in the academy, and with the civilians all hating me and over charging me for everything or just kicking me out of places it's a wonder I even managed to graduate as the dead last."

Lee's eyes widened at that particular title, and Gai's took on a hard glint.

"For the longest time I just accepted that that was the way my life was. I pretended to be as dumb as I could to avoid making the people who hated me think I was a threat. I gave up on learning because no one would bother to help me, but now that I'm a shinobi."

I flicked my forehead protector as I said that to emphasize my point.

"I not only need to learn and become strong in order to survive, but I also need it to protect my comrades, to not be a liability, and to make everyone see that I have value too. That I'm not worthless like they think I am.

That I'm not a monster. And even as a simple Genin, I can now access resources that I couldn't before.

No one but Hokage-jiji can stop me, and I know he wants me to succeed. So I'm doing my best to catch up to everyone else, for now. However, given a bit of help and some time I'll be sure to run right by them so that they can see my back.

So that I can show them that I'm not a dobe, but their comrade. And especially so I can become strong enough to find people special to me, protect them, and become Hokage so that I can protect everyone in the village!"

I finished my speech with a clenched fist and fire burning in my eyes. I may have come up with those words to appeal to Gai and Lee, but somewhere along the way I had gotten caught up in what I was saying and a bit of canon Naruto seeped through.

Hmm, I guess I might have to watch out for being influenced by Naruto's (my) original beliefs and goals.

Gai and Lee both had their heads bowed; their bowl cuts hiding their eyes in shadow. Before they suddenly appeared at my side, each grasping one of my shoulders.

"YOSH! WHAT SPIRIT AND DETERMINATION YOU HAVE YOUNG MAN! I MAITO GAI WILL ENSURE THAT YOU GAIN THE STRENGTH TO PROTECT YOUR COMRADES! IF I CANNOT DO THIS I WILL DO 10 MILLION PUSHUPS ON 1 THUMB!"

Gai bellowed while striking a 'nice guy' pose and his teeth flashed. He decided to train Naruto just as he was training Lee, it would be most YOUTHFUL to have them spar with each other and push each other to improve and excel.

"NARUTO-SAN! YOU ARE SO YOUTHFUL! TO SUFFER SO MUCH AND YET STILL DESIRE TO GET STRONGER TO PROTECT OTHERS…YOSH I WILL FAN MY FLAMES OF YOUTH WITH YOU! AND IF I CANNOT…"

Lee also entered a 'nice guy' pose, flashing teeth and all. Lee was ecstatic about having another disciple of Gai-sensei to train with. They would fan their flames of YOUTH together!

I stopped listening to them at that point, content to let them do their thing for a bit before I reminded them of what I was there for.

"So." I interrupted some ridiculous claim about running to Kumo and back on two fingers. "When can we get started? And do I need weights or anything?"


The day passed quickly after that. I got to know Lee and Gai a bit better before Gai took some of his old weights out of a sealing scroll.

Gai told me that I would be starting off with only 50 pounds on each leg and that I would go up from there depending on how much and how fast my strength improved and how much I felt I could handle.

Although he did tell me he would keep me from going overboard…riiiiiight.

Then the two training fanatics put me through the work out from Hell before kicking my ass 6 ways to Sunday. Then they had me repeat all of it four more times.

My ass had been thoroughly kicked, the disorientation from a clone dispelling every now and then didn't help, and even with my new body I felt tired. Surprisingly enough I wasn't exhausted, definitely tired, but not overmuch.

This just proved how much untapped potential Naruto had as a shinobi if Kishimoto wasn't such an asshole to him.

So I made sure Gai knew to go harder on me tomorrow, damn masochistic tendencies and desire to be strong. They told me to show up here at 4 in the morning everyday before once again striking 'nice guy' poses and telling me that they looked forward to seeing me tomorrow.

Before he left Gai, Gai-sensei now I guess, gave me a sealing scroll that contained heavier weights that I could use in the days ahead. After they left I continued training until my last clone dispelled, leaving me dead on my feet just as the sun was setting.

I headed back to my shitty apartment and cooked myself a (my first) home made dinner in this body, eating enough to feed 10 regular people, before showering.

When I no longer stunk of sweat and blood I meditated for an hour in order to process and store all the information my clones had gathered from the shinobi library, I figured its information was more pertinent than the civilian one at the moment. Then it was time to set my alarm for 3:30 and go to sleep.


The two weeks before squad assignments flew by like that, with me devouring all the information in the Shinobi library available to a lowly Genin in only 2 days with the use of my clones.

I tucked away a few copies of simple D and C-rank jutsu for later on before I directed my clones towards the civilian library, which took up the rest of the week.

Within that time my knowledge of my current world and its inhabitants soared.

Devoting some of the clones towards practicing the few taijutsu katas Gai had taught me improved my knowledge, muscle memory, response time, and reflexes along with his merciless training of my original body I had raised my ability with taijutsu greatly, probably putting me about even with Sasuke, and was starting to show serious results with my strength and speed as well.

In addition to all that, my chakra control had gone from truly terrible to fairly acceptable.

I had mastered the tree climbing exercise in 2 days with the help of my clones, and the mastered spinning leaves as I stuck to the tree the day after that.

Water walking soon followed and once my clones had that down, with the leaf spinning added on, I went and bought some balloons and rubber balls.

Oh yeah, I was going to learn the Rasengan and I was not going to be a retard and try to do it without my clones like in the original timeline.

If retard me could do it in a month by himself, I give myself max two weeks to be able to form it with one hand by using clones.

My final endeavor with chakra control for now was beginning to learn Wind Nature Transformation.

I had several reasons for this, one was that I knew I had that affinity.

I didn't know if I had gained anymore by becoming Naruto, but I knew I had wind at least, and Wind Natured Rasengan would be sweet.

Second was that with water walking done I didn't really know any other chakra control exercises besides nature transformations.

And though I had made progress, I could now tell how much chakra I was losing when I tried the few weak jutsu I knew and had even managed to reduce it by about half.

Although that just meant that I was using 5 times as much as was needed as opposed to 10 times as much, and I would like to improve that.

All in all I felt like I had made fantastic progress and I appreciated the cheat that was the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu.

After returning from my morning workout with the spandex twins I showered, ate a hearty breakfast a clone had whipped up for me, and finally broke out my new wardrobe. It might not have any orange in it, but it was pretty badass.

I had a black mask just like Kakashi's on my face, mostly so that I could fuck with the annoying Cyclops, but also because it would help hide my facial expressions.

My hands and forearms were covered with black, fingerless gloves and the bracers that ANBU wear.

On my torso I wore a black sleeveless shirt and the ANBU chest protector, and for pants I had loose black pants that were taped at my ankles.

My Konoha headband sat proudly on my forehead, black, shinobi sandals covered my feet, and my kunai pouch was secured on my right thigh along with extra bandages to finish up my ensemble.

All in all I thought I looked pretty cool, if only I would grow a bit more. That's not to say that I hadn't grown any, because I had really underestimated either the Uzumaki heritage or the healing effects of Kurama's chakra flowing through my veins because I had already sprouted up 13 centimeters in this week alone, although the food costs were horrendous, going from a 147.5 cm, 4'8", chibi to a 160.5 cm, 5'2" giant!

Well comparative to my peers who were all around 150 cm, 4'9", tall at this point.

I was holding out hope that by correcting my diet this early in the series I could reach at least 183 cm or 6 feet tall. Cause man did I hate being short, at least my classmates wouldn't be able to call me a chibi along with a dobe.

That's not even mentioning that I had gotten the weight up from 50 pounds each leg to about 250 pounds each leg by the end of the week without slowing myself down, something I was very proud of.

Ready as I would ever be I headed out, but not to the academy, I had one stop to make before I confronted my classmates.

The secretary sneered at me like usual after she got over her surprise at my new appearance, but I paid her no mind as I barged my way into Jiji's office like usual.

"Heya Jiji!" I called as I trooped into his office.

The old man was sitting behind his desk, which was pilled with stacks of paper work, both finished and unfinished. I clearly saw a moment of shock on his face, causing me to grin under my new mask, before he schooled his features.

"Ah, Naruto what are you doing here? Don't you have to report to the academy for squad assignments? And my you've sprouted up like a weed! What have you been eating? I also see you've changed your outfit, what prompted this somewhat…drastic change?"

Hiruzen sat back in his chair as his eyes flickered over my form, cataloguing more information than I probably even knew I was giving away.

He's changed so much, even since the last time I saw him, and even then he was changing Hiruzen thought. What could have happened to alter everything about the boy? I hope you are truly fine Naruto. I couldn't forgive myself if any more harm came to you, I've already failed both your parents and you so much more than you will ever know.

To be fair to Hiruzen, he hadn't seen me for a while. I hadn't had the time to stop by since I had dropped off my Shinobi registration picture and had the standard Konohamaru and Ebisu experience.

I.E. I was apparently now Konohamaru's Boss and rival and Ebisu ended up bleeding out from is nose. At that point I was still a midget and wore my orange jumpsuit, of course I was in my new digs for he picture itself though.

"Weeeeeeeeell," I began, "Once I officially became a Genin I figured I should try to correct the damage done to me and my education by those who hated me for housing the Kyuubi."

I said it in a somewhat chipper tone, but Jiji still flinched a bit.

"So I henged some of my clones and had them go buy me food and gear that wasn't overpriced, along with reading everything I could access in both of the village's libraries to cover the gaps in my knowledge from the biased instructors in academy and found out that eating only ramen, while delicious, was bad for me and would stunt my growth.

Then I started training with Lee and Gai-sensei to fix up my basic taijutsu and increase my strength and speed. Also I had my clones do a lot of chakra control exercises since I figured out that I get the memories from them.

Let me tell you it sped up my training and cut down my learning curve by a ton! Not to mention that everything I, or rather my clones, read said that bright colors were not good for shinobi.

So I decided to cut out the orange, at least until I become a Jonin, and I could actually afford to do so because of my henge trick! Does that answer your questions?"

He was silent for a moment before he sighed and looked very old and tired.

"Well you seem to be the Naruto that I know," he gave a tired laugh, "although I must say that I'm quite impressed. I can already tell that you've improved markedly since I saw you last. I also approve of your new attire, it is dark enough to blend in and the light weight ANBU armor should help keep you safe incase you get caught off guard on missions outside the village.

Now…what did you come here to tell me Naruto? I know you must be excited to meet your squad and Jonin sensei."

Hiruzen asked as he leaned forward and smiled at me.

I looked at the ground for a moment and steeled my nerve before looking up and meeting his eyes, not only as my Jiji, but also as the Hokage.

"I wanted to tell you that in the coming days you might see me change."

His eyes widened in surprise at my announcement.

"I won't be pulling anymore pranks, unless they really deserve it, I won't be shouting out about becoming Hokage, although I will, and I won't be acting as if nothing in the world can dim my smile or drain my spirit. As a ninja of Konoha I no longer have to suffer in silence as I am discriminated against simply because of what was sealed inside me at birth. And so I won't."

He made to say something, but I held up a hand and he decided to hear me out.

"I won't lash out at others, but I also won't be a doormat any longer. I've decided to become a shinobi of Konoha, and as such I will be accorded the respect I deserve as one of its protectors, whether or not the people like it matters not to me. I will protect them, my friends, my loved ones, and this village with my life, and they will come to understand that I am not the Kyuubi and that they have made a great number of mistakes involving me. However, I am the bigger person and I will make them see that."

I finished with conviction before adding a lighthearted comment. "So keep that hat warm for me Jiji."

He took a moment to absorb my words before he smiled.

"Good."

He stood and approached me before resting his hands on my shoulders.

"You will be a wonderful shinobi Naruto, and I am positive you will accomplish all that you set your sights on. And that you will make me proud of you."

I smiled up at him as he patted my shoulder gently before reminding me that I needed to get to the academy. I asked him for a favor before I left, which caused him to break out in guffaws before he agreed and had an ANBU fetch me what I asked for.


I thought confronting my peers would be a breeze. After all, they were just 12-13 year old brats and between the original Naruto and the original me we had over 30 years of life under our belts.

I was wrong, and it was entirely my body's fault. As most fanfiction points out, hormones and puberty suck. I was nervous, but hid it with a blank face, a purposeful and graceful stride, and my nifty facemask.

The scene was pretty much as I expected when I entered. Shikamaru and Choji were sitting together, the former with his head on the table and the latter snacking on a bag of chips.

Sasuke was brooding while staring out the window.

Hinata was studiously avoiding looking at me directly, although I could feel her gaze upon me.

Shino was sitting quietly, watching the rest as his insects buzzed gently.

Kiba was fooling around with Akamaru, trying to show off for Hinata.

And Ino and Sakura were yet to arrive, just like in canon.

Everyone froze when they noticed me.

Kiba tripped over his own feet and barely avoided squashing Akamaru, Shino's bugs started buzzing slightly louder, Choji paused with a chip midway to his mouth, Shikamaru glanced up and was about to put his head back down when he froze, and Sasuke glanced at me only to start staring.

Hinata alone continued to do what she was doing before, avoid looking at me directly while blushing.

My first move was to approach Sasuke and give him a slight bow to the shock of everyone in the room.

"Uchiha-san, I would like to apologize for my behavior prior to today. It has been brought to my attention that I behaved inappropriately in response to a perceived slight, due to the mistreatment I receive from both the villagers as well as the academy instructors. I would like to ask your forgiveness and wish you good luck on your future endeavors as a fellow shinobi of Konoha."

I stayed in my slight bow until Sasuke gathered his scattered wits and gave a dismissive grunt to signal his agreement. "Hn."

"Thank you Uchiha-san. Once again you have my apology."

Standing from my bow I went to take a seat next to Hinata, much to my amusement and her enthused horror. Sasuke followed me out of the corner of his eye, even as he seemed to be wondering about my change in attitude

"Good morning Hinata-chan. You don't mind if I call you by your name do you? Unlike Uchiha-san I don't believe I've slighted you, and I feel like we could become good friends."

I gave her a double eye smile from behind my mask; I had 2 clones spend hours perfecting it.

"G-g-good m-morning N-Naruto-kun. I-I d-don't r-really m-mind, I-I w-would like that." The stuttering, tomato of a Hyuga replied looking like she was about to faint.

Naruto is talking to me! W-we haven't really ever talked before. I hope he doesn't think I'm weird because I'm stuttering and turning red. Come on Hinata, be brave. This is your chance to spend time with him and get to know each other! Hinata attempted to keep herself calm and muster her courage.

"Good! I train every morning at 4 at training ground 9 with a few friends if you would like to join? I think it would be a good opportunity to learn more about each other and-" I was rudely interrupted by Kiba.

"Oi! What are you doing walking in here and chatting up Hinata-chan like you own the place, Dead last!? This is for squad assignments, and that means you need to have graduated the academy! Which you failed!"

The mutt barked at me as the mutt on his head barked in agreement.

"Well Inuzuka-san, I was thinking that I would apologize to Uchiha-san, try to engage Hinata-chan in conversation as I really haven't talked to her, before greeting the rest of you.

Then I would inevitably have to point out to some less intelligent individual, probably you based on past experience, that I am in fact wearing a Konoha headband and therefore am an academy graduated Genin. Just like you Inuzuka-san. Then I planned on making a statement to all of you once everyone was here to address my past behavior and set a tone for the future. However if you would like to ask some questions before that, I would be amenable to answering."

I replied civilly, but with a bit of bite, not rising to his juvenile bait as I finally calmed my nerves.

"Troublesome," came a soft groan, "alright then Naruto. What's up with the complete change in behavior, speech pattern, height, and dress code?" Just like Shikamaru to cut to the heart of the matter without even lifting his head up from the table.

"Hn." The master conversationalist, Sasuke, added his two cents.

"Well, to answer you in the order you asked.

I managed to graduate and am therefore no longer under the power of the civilian council, but Hokage-jiji. That means that they can't do anything to me anymore, such as sabotaging my education, or raising the taxes on my food, or threaten to punish me for no actual reason, only that they don't want me to succeed.

This led me to be able to access the libraries, as is a shinobi's right, when before the villagers had the power to deny me access. This allowed me to actually learn something without anyone trying to teach it to me wrong on purpose or prevent me from learning it in the first place. Thus I learned how a shinobi should act, and added a variety of new words to my vocabulary."

To say that everyone looked shocked would be putting it mildly.

Everyone but Kiba and maybe Choji understood what I was implying and outright saying about my treatment from the academy instructors and the village in general.

Kiba just looked constipated.

I blithely continued on, ignoring their growing shock, disbelief, horror, and outrage.

"In my mission to educate myself I learned about proper nutrition, and took it upon myself to correct my diet by any means necessary. I have always healed quickly, and it seems that healing factor applies to correcting malnutrition as well. Finally, as I progressed in my studies and training I understood the dangers of missions outside the village.

I understood that while I may enjoy the color orange, it is not exactly discrete and would be a beacon to any hostiles around my squad. Thus I got rid of it for something more suited to life as a shinobi, at least until I am strong enough to protect those around me from whatever or whoever may come."

I finished with a smile and spread my arms, glancing condescendingly at Kiba, before throwing a wink at a stunned Hinata and looking back at Shikamaru.

"Does that answer your questions?" I asked with an eye smile.

Silence reigned in the classroom. Everyone looked shocked, disbelieving, and angry in various degrees.

Kiba mostly angry, at me presumably, Shikamaru mostly shocked as he stared at me, Sasuke in disbelief, and Hinata with swirls in her eyes and steam coming from her fire truck red face.

Naruto-kun is so cool, and he winked at me. I need to-need to…uuuuuuuuh. Hinata tried to pull herself together but her brain had already shut down from all the steam coming from her face.

It was then that I heard the thundering of incoming fangirls. "Incoming fangirls, Uchiha-san." I warned Sasuke.

"Hn." He grunted his thanks for the warning and turned back to his window just as Sakura and Ino came storming in arguing about who crossed the threshold first.

Both of them froze when they saw me sitting by a still delirious Hinata.

I could almost see the giant question mark above Sakura's head, and I could see Ino's eyes turn sharp as she took in my form before they turned into hearts and she started to drool a little before catching herself and glancing between Sasuke and me.

"Yo." I greeted them with an eye smile causing Ino to blush a bit.

"Who's the new guy?" Sakura asked everyone.

The room was silent before Shikamaru sighed. "Troublesome. That's Naruto. Apparently he graduated, got some special training in, and it agreed with him." After he was done saying that he put his head back down as if done with all of us.

"WHAAAAAAAT!?" Ino and Sakura shrieked together as they whipped their heads back and forth between Shikamaru and me. I gave them another eye smile and a little wave.

"There is no way this hunk is Naruto! Naruto is a chibi and a dobe, and this guy, this guy is almost as hot as Sasuke-kun!" Ino shared her hurtful, yet flattering opinion.

Sakura chimed in with a shrill "Yeah! There is no way this guy is Naruto-Baka!"

"I'm wounded Ino-san, Sakura-san. To think you held such low opinions of me simply because of how hard the instructors and the villagers worked to keep me uneducated and inept!"

I spoke with mock hurt in my posture and voice, shoulders slumping and wiping away and imaginary tear.

"Although I suppose I should thank you for calling me hot, it is the first compliment to my looks a girl has ever given me. So thank you Ino-san." I finished with a nod in her direction.

"Wait so that really is Naruto-Baka?" Sakura asked everyone, but she was looking at her Sasuke-kun for confirmation.

"Hn." Sasuke replied with a nod.

"NO WAY!" Both girls shrieked again, jaws on the floor and eyes bugging out.

"That would be my cue for my announcement to set the tone for future interactions." I said to myself with a sweat drop at the shock and shriek of the twin banshees.

Standing up I went to the front of the class and cleared my throat, getting everyone's attention. "As I've already let most of you know, I am not the Naruto you thought you knew.

Due to certain circumstances, I was kept ignorant and weak. Granted my own proclivities and mischievous spirit contributed to those circumstance. Fortunately, I managed to graduate anyway. I then proceeded to properly educate myself and sought out specific training in order to make up for the deficiencies that were caused by said circumstances.

If you don't believe me then go ask whatever authority figure you choose about me, odds are they will tell you that I am trouble or that you should avoid or shun me but will not explain why."

I took a breath and look over the faces of my audience, observing their reactions before continuing.

"As I am no longer the dobe you knew, I would appreciate it if you would not treat me as such and take your time to form new opinions about the person I am now and should have been before.

I understand that some of you may have trouble with this, and I understand your dilemma. However I will not take abuse from any of you. We are to be Genin of Konoha, comrades that will fight and work together.

If you cannot respect me as a comrade who will be risking his life alongside of you at the least, then we will have issues. Thanks for listening."

I finished with one last eye smile before sitting down next to Hinata again.

Most people looked thoughtful, or grudgingly accepting at the least. Taking my articulate and reasonable speech as proof that I had indeed changed from how I was before.

Kiba looked like he had eaten a lemon, Sasuke looked like he was interested but attempting to look apathetic, Ino looked torn between deriding me, believing me, and drooling over me, but Sakura looked apoplectic.

"Naaaaaaruuuuuutoooooo-Baka! Shut up and stop trying to look cool, Sasuke-kun will always be cooler than a baka like you!" She reared back her fist to punch me as my 'just' desserts. She never got a chance to hit me.

The 'Naruto' sitting next to Hinata moved with a burst of speed and another dropped from the ceiling to land behind Sakura, put her in a hold that immobilized her arms and the first 'Naruto' appeared in front of her with a very sharp kunai held to her throat.

Everyone froze, especially Sakura, as she felt the cool steel pressed against her pulsing artery.

I spoke calmly, while I gave her a disconcerting eye smile. "Now Haruno-san, you wouldn't have been trying to assault a fellow shinobi would you?" I asked her with false sweetness.

"That would be grounds for punishment, you know?"

I asked her as if speaking to a particularly slow child.

"I told you I wouldn't let anyone treat me like they did before didn't I? It seems like you had some trouble understanding, so let me make it clear to you.

You, Haruno Sakura, are a weak, shallow, insignificant fangirl. You will never amount to anything as long as you follow Uchiha-san around and cling to him.

Not only that, but you will be a liability to your squad and worse than useless as they will have to help you in every fight against any halfway competent opponent."

I paused there to make sure everyone was paying attention to me before I continued in a serious voice.

"This goes for all of you girls here, if you are dieting, if you aren't training to gain strength, speed, and stamina, if you aren't practicing your techniques whenever you have half a chance, then you should do yourself and everyone around you a favor and quit trying to be a kunoichi right now."

There were sounds of protest at this, but I flared my chakra and burgeoning killing intent (KI).

"If you don't do the afore mentioned things, then you will get your squad mates killed and get yourself killed, or captured and most probably raped. If you do the things I just listed, then you would be lambasted by every real kunoichi as a weak, insulting, fangirl.

They would tell you that dieting is stupid because all the training they do burns off so many calories. If you are worried about looking 'mannish', they would tell you that men, especially shinobi, drool over bodies that have long, lean, toned muscle, and that having muscle is not the same as having bulky muscle.

All of your, so-called, points are invalid and if you can't come to grips with that then I hope you die before you can pull anyone else down with you."

I stepped back from Sakura, pulling the knife away from her throat as I did and sent my clone back into hiding. She fell to her knees in a puddle of her own piss with tears in her eyes as her body was wracked with shivers.

I looked down at her and gave her a final piece of advice that I made sure the entire class heard. "You are weak, pathetically so. However you don't have to stay that way.

Train, put in effort and sweat and blood and tears and you will get stronger.

Quit dieting. Quit thinking that anyone can or will save you but yourself. Take your destiny and life into your own hands and do everything in your power to ensure that you and those you care about live.

Or give up now. Quit. And never come back here again."

Then I turned my back on the girl and went back to my seat by Hinata.

Kiba shied away from me as I passed him.

Sasuke was staring at me as if he had never seen me before.

Ino looked torn between wanting to castigate me, squeal about how cool I was, or seriously think about her actions and how my words applied to her.

Shikamaru was looking at me as if I had become an incredibly complex puzzle.

Shino's bugs were buzzing frantically.

Choji was staring thoughtfully at a chip.

And Hinata was looking at me with wide eyes.

"It's for their own good." I murmur to Hinata causing her to start.

"If they don't shape up then they really will die. If I can ensure that they take this seriously and survive, or decide to quit before anything happens then I will gladly be the bad guy. I just don't want them to die because they were too stupid to realize that this isn't a game."

I give her a sad, little smile from behind my mask.

Iruka takes that as his cue to enter and begins to call out good morning before he notices Sakura and her urine puddle.

A swift clean up, change of clothes, and a long, boring speech about being respectable Genin later the teams were announced. They were just as in canon.

Once Iruka had congratulated me again on graduating and gave his approval of my change in wardrobe he left us on Team 7 to wait for our sensei.

Now while I had several hundred clones out and about training, I did not feel like waiting 3 hours for Kakashi to show up. So I stood up and made to jump out the window.

"Dobe," an emo voice called out to me, "where are you going?"

"Well, seeing as I've done my research on every Jonin in the village. I know that Hatake Kakashi is notorious for being at least 3 hours late to everything except essential missions. Therefore I am going to waste some time observing what the other squads are doing in order to prepare for our test. Also, don't call me Dobe, Uchiha-san."

I jumped out the window before they could ask me about the mysterious test I mentioned.

While I did send some clones to observe the other teams, I headed to training ground 9 and resumed my truncated workout from this morning. Intent on reaching 1,000 pounds per leg as soon as possible. After all, I only 750 pounds to go, wheee.

I made sure to walk into the classroom exactly 3 hours and 1 minute after I had left, showing up right after Kakashi did.

As the still shaken Sakura, the brooding and aggravated Sasuke, and the surprised and slightly disconcerted Kakashi all turned to look at me I simply eye smiled and threw up a hand as I said. "Sorry I was lost on the road of life."

Everyone sweat dropped before Kakashi pulled himself together and said to meet him on the roof before disappearing in a puff of smoke.

I did the same, because the 'me' that had walked into the room was a shadow clone and the original 'me' was already waiting on the roof. Where I was busy with the thing I had asked Hokage-jiji to get me.

When Kakashi appeared on the roof I was already leaning against a wall with an orange book in hand. However this book wasn't a certain book of porn, but one about basic seals that just so happened to be orange.

I looked up briefly and acknowledged his presence with a wave and a simple "Yo."

Kakashi took one look at me before eye smiling. "I think I like you."

"That's nice. I think I like me too." I amiably agreed with him, giving him a brief eye smile in return.

When the other two arrived Kakashi and I were standing together, leaning against the wall and both reading orange books.

The similarities were striking enough that both Sakura and Sasuke paused and did a double take before asking us if we knew each other. Kakashi and I looked up from our books at them, glanced at each other, and then went back to reading before replying.

""No.""

My other two teammates sweat dropped but left the subject. Kakashi had us gather around in front of him and asked us to share things about ourselves. Sakura asked him to go first just as she did in canon, and I got ready to fuck with Kakashi some more.

"About me? Hmmm...

Things I like and things I hate… I don't feel like telling you that.

My dreams for the future… never really thought about it.

As for my hobbies… I have lots of hobbies."

I said at the exact same time as Kakashi without even looking away from my book, casually turning a page as everyone stared at me in shock.

I looked up after a few seconds and eye smiled. "Mah, mah. What's the matter?"

"Mah, mah…you're pretty creepy aren't you?" Kakashi asked at the same time.

"Well considering that you are Hatake Kakashi, elite Jonin, former ANBU Captain, known as the Copy Ninja.

That the things you like are friendship, comrades, teamwork, the 4th Hokage, and Icha Icha, and that things you hate are those who break the rules and those who leave their comrades behind, along with being a Jonin sensei.

Your dreams for the future are to star in the Icha Icha movie and your hobbies are to read Icha Icha."

I looked back at my book before turning another page as everyone lapsed into silence.

Eventually they pulled themselves together, although they were looking at me oddly as I placidly sat there reading my orange book.

Sakura basically just fangirled over Sasuke, I sighed at that, which Kakashi took note of. Then went on to say that the thing she hated was me, to which I simply eye smiled at her.

Sasuke was emo as Hell and a typical sir-broods-a lot as usual when talking about killing his brother. Then it was finally my turn.

I closed my book gently and took a deep breath.

"My name is Uzumaki Naruto, things that I like are the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, Ramen, Hokage-jiji, cute and strong kunoichi, and people who seek to improve and protect those precious to them.

Things that I hate are fangirls, bigots, people who do not understand the difference between a scroll and something that is sealed inside of it, and those who are lazy.

My dreams for the future are to gain many precious people, become strong enough to protect them, and become a greater Hokage than any that have come before me.

My hobbies include training to get stronger, abusing the Kage Bunshin no Jutsu, learning Fuinjutsu, and messing with people who aggravate me."

"Well…that was unexpected." Kakashi muttered as he rubbed the back of his head. "Now that we know a bit more about each other, meet me at training ground 7 tomorrow at 5 o'clock."

Sakura asked him what would we be meeting him for and the whole pointless argument about whether or not we needed survival training or whether Kakashi could test us and/or send us back to the academy if we failed happened.

Then he threatened us about eating and told us that we would throw up if we did.

As soon as he left I stood up and told my new teammates.

"Make sure you two eat, its better to have energy than not to."

Then I left to train a bit more before I grabbed dinner, meditated on what my clones had done that day and went to sleep with my alarm set for 7 o'clock. I decided to sleep in and skip training tomorrow so that I was at my best for the bell test.

I brought 2 breakfast bentos with me when I showed up, 2 hours and thirty minutes after Kakashi said to and he still wasn't there. However my grumpy, hungry, and sleep deprived teammates were, and they were not happy that I was late.

At least until I pulled out the food I had brought for them. As they began to eat with quiet and grudging words of thanks, I began to read my book on beginning fuinjutsu by Jiraya.

I already had clones working on my calligraphy, hand seal speed and accuracy, chakra control, and my taijutsu katas, but I was planning on using them for so much more.

However I still had time to get myself up to at least the strength of a Chunin before the wave mission came around so that I could compete with Haku.

At 8 o'clock Kakashi came walking up, explained the rules of the test and had us begin. The other two scampered off into the woods to hide, while I remained seated in the shade of a tree and read my book.

Kakashi couldn't seem to figure me out. "You know the other two seem to have the right idea, but you seem kind of inept." He ventured his opinion.

"You seem to have gotten that sentence backward." I rejoined.

"They both ran off without even thinking about the situation, and therefore split our squad and diminished our overall fighting potential. We're just newbie Genin, and you're an elite Jonin. The only possible way for us to even get a bell is for all of us to work together. Not only that, but I've never heard of a two or one person Genin squad.

So with the inference that such a thing does not exist if Konoha's libraries have no mentions of it, and knowing not only of your fixation on teamwork, but also that teamwork is the only possible way to get a bell, this must be a test within a test. It's to see if we can figure out that we need to work as a team and then do so to get the bells from you. However it's pointless for me to do anything at all in that case."

"Oh? If you've figured out the test already then why would trying to pass it be pointless?"

Kakashi was astounded that Naruto had figured all of that out. From all reports about him, Naruto was an idiot and an almost useless shinobi. This kid didn't seem to fit either category.

I huffed tiredly at him.

"That would be because Haruno-san hates me, as she said before. And will undoubtedly try to find Uchiha-san in order to help him get a bell to try and endear herself to him like the rabid fangirl she is.

Mc-Broods-a lot on the other hand wouldn't deign to work with a dead last, as I would supposedly only slow him down. Besides that at max two people can get a bell, and why would he want to risk me getting the bell then letting him fail."

I shrugged apathetically.

"In other words there is no point in even trying to fight you. I'll just wait for the time to run out and return to the academy for a year. Next year I'll be assigned another squad and another sensei, hopefully one I can work with and one who actually wants to teach me.

By that point I should be at least at high Chunin or low Jonin in strength now that I've got shadow clones to help me with my chakra control and ninjutsu training and Gai-sensei to help me with my taijutsu. So don't worry about it too much Kakashi-san."

I smiled at him as I finished.

He-he's already accepted that they're going to fail, Kakashi thought in shock.

Naruto, his sensei's son, the irrepressible bundle of energy and optimism that he watched over as the kid grew up in the worst conditions imaginable, had given up on becoming a shinobi for another year.

It didn't matter that he gave up because of a well-reasoned and very accurate assessment of his supposed teammates, just the fact that the can-do-king had given up at all shocked and saddened Kakashi to his core.

Not even Naruto's assertions about his clones or the level of strength that he would be at in another year made as big of an impact as the words 'it's pointless to even try' leaving the blond's lips.

Eventually Kakashi got over his shock and went to hunt down the other two, leaving the blond to his reading. Things went as they did in the original story, with the exception that I didn't move an inch from my spot under the tree.

Soon enough Kakashi returned and told us that we had failed. I looked up at this and smiled as I held up a pair of bells just as the alarm rang. Kakashi grabbed the bells at his waist, which suddenly transformed back into a pair of shadow clones.

With wide eyes he asked me. "When did you switch the bells?"

"When you were busy with Uchiha-san and his fire safety class. I had a clone swipe them and these two substitute in for them." I then threw them both to Sasuke and Sakura who eagerly caught them.

"There, teamwork." I deadpanned.

Kakashi held back a grin while doing the whole thunder and lightning spiel before letting us know that we passed and would be accepting our first mission as Team 7 tomorrow and that we should show up at the bridge by this training ground at 6 in the morning.

I stood up and dusted myself off before heading over to training ground 9, planning to show up at the bridge at 9 o'clock. I couldn't wait to see my teammates faces when they realized we were going to be doing glorified chores as missions.

Ahhh, I'll need to bring a camera.


And there it is.

I made this quite a bit longer than the two from my other story as I have a detailed canon plot to follow here.

At least until later on...then Canon will be Curb Stomped by Shadow Clones.

Already Naruto is more powerful than he was, after only two weeks, and he's only getting stronger.

To cut off any complaints, stats aren't exactly the be-all-end-all of who wins in a fight.

And Naruto's stats jumped so much mostly because of the impressive increase in Int.

However they are a decent indicator of you overall capability and power as a Shinobi.

Most stats will be taken from The OFFICIAL wiki/Infobox given out by Kishimoto himself.

Characters who are severely impacted by the SI will most likely become stronger than their original stats unless the SI's actions incentivize, for whatever reason, them to put in less effort than their canon counterparts.


Love it?

Hate it?

Have an idea how I could improve the story or the reading experience?

Let me know and I'll do my best to fix what I can and improve the rest.

And if you don't like it...

Well there are other fics out there that you will probably enjoy, so best of luck finding one that suits you.

Praise the Log!

Ja Ne


Ranking System

1-9 = Civilian

10-13 = Civilian that can access Chakra

14-22 = Genin

23-27 = Chunin

25-27 = Tokubetsu Jonin

28-31 = Jonin

31.5-33.5 = Elite Jonin

[32-35.5 = S Rank Nin]

34-35.5 = Kage Class

36-40 = Sage of 6 Paths Class


TEAM 7 Statistics

Uzumaki Naruto

Nin - 2

Tai - 2.5

Gen - 1.5

Int - 4

Str - 2.5

Spd - 2.5

Stm - 4

HS - 2.5

Total - 21.5

Uchiha Sasuke

Nin - 2.5

Tai - 2.5

Gen - 1.5

Int - 2

Str - 2

Spd - 3

Stm - 2

HS - 3

Total - 18.5

Haruno Sakura

Nin - 1.5

Tai - 1

Gen - 3

Int - 3.5

Str - 0.5

Spd - 1

Stm - 1

HS - 4

Total - 15.5

Hatake Kakashi

Nin - 5

Tai - 4

Gen - 4

Int - 4.5

Str - 3.5

Spd - 4

Stm - 3

HS - 5

Total - 33