So I have to tell you how much I hate the fact that Mouse is leaving for war! I love Greg, he is a recurring character and I feel like they didn't say enough about him, they could really get into Jay's Rangers days but no they get rid of Mouse. This story is me dealing with the change, hope you like it!

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The heat of the August night hit Jay like a burning building as he exited his air conditioned car to the apartment building. It was nearly midnight but he knew Mouse would still be up, he was always up late in fact it would not surprise him if the man never slept. The anger from the news still boiled inside him but it had simmered, just enough to get him through this talk, the talk to end this ridiculous notion that going back into the Rangers was somehow a good idea. He rang 6A and waited for the buzz back to confirm he could enter, he bounced on the balls of his feet, he felt a little nervous to be honest. When the buzz sounded, he pulled the door open and slowly made his way up the flight of stairs, with each one his feet felt heavier.

"Hey," Mouse answered the door immediately, the cool refreshing air from his apartment seeped out of the apartment and into the hall.

"Can we have that talk?" Jay asked with no hesitation and it was more so a demand than a question, any fear he felt on the way up was now to be masked by control. Mouse didn't speak; instead he let out a sigh and pushed the door open before walking further into his apartment. Jay followed looking around, he had been to Mouse's apartment before, plenty of times, it was small but it fit hi perfectly. A small studio apartment, computers covered one wall, his bed close by, a small living room area and a table near the kitchen made a makeshift dining room. Mouse reappeared with two beers in hand, without a word he handed one to Jay before kinking the neck of his bottle to Jays and taking a sip. He plopped down on the couch, the television running the latest game. Jay sat next to Mouse; he set his beer down and rubbed his hands over his face.

"You don't have to say anything, nothing is going to change my mind," Mouse kept his sight on the television, looking at Jay may prove to be difficult.

"You know this is a bad idea Greg." There is was, the formal name calling, Jay only ever called him by his first name for certain circumstances, when he was mad at him or that time when… He could not think about that time right now, not when he was trying to stick to his decision.

"Jay, it's what I need, I can't stay here, and there is nothing here for me to do."

"You have a job, you are working for a good cause here what could being shot at possibly do for you that this job couldn't?" He heard the level of his voice rise; he wanted to stay calm but even thinking about the Rangers still got to him.

"I sit at a desk and yet I am trained in combat and I'm good at it, being a 31 year old rookie is not where I want to be."

"And being back there is? Do you remember what happened there or is your brain too fried from the…" Jay stopped himself; he was getting angry too fast.

"Say it, or is my brain too fried from the… what were you going to say drugs?" When Jay did not speak Mouse stood up, he paced his apartment, anger started to rise in side of him.

"That war destroyed you, you lost who you were, you got depressed, you had PTSD and you refused help."

"From what I remember you refused it too or do you not remember me dragging your ass back here?"

"There is a difference Greg!"

"What is that, I don't see it, you were just as messed up as me, I helped you, I helped you though the same things you helped me through."

"Except I got better, I made something of myself, I didn't turn to drugs, I didn't get lost, lose all my money and start to live on the streets."

"You don't think this is me trying to better myself, I'm going back so I can feel like I'm helping again, like I'm fighting for the lives of others."

"You do that now, you work for the police, and you are making a difference."

"How by hacking into computers and phones, pinging your whereabouts and all for what, you can have any guy ping a phone signal, I feel like I'm doing more there besides what do I have here?."

"What do you mean what do you have here?"

"Jay you got your life together you made that clear, look at you, you have Erin and I'm here alone working as a tech."

"The team, you have the team, and me."

"And I will always be grateful but I have to do this."

"This is a mistake and you know it, the things we've seen; you used to call me two, three in the morning, having nightmares about the night in the convoy…"

"Stop," Mouse shouted abruptly.

"Stop what, reminding you about the facts, what could happen again, we took three months to recover and even know we are still recovering from what happened to us." Greg sat down on the couch again and dragged his finger around the lip of the bottle. "You know what, I won't lie, I still have those dreams of keeping you alive, begging you to keep your eyes open, a lot of the times you don't make it, or we are both killed, I still have that trauma."

"I've made up my mind Jay, this is what I want to do, I can't explain it, it's just what needs to be done." Jay stood up in a huff and stormed to the door, turning to Mouse before he opened it.

"I can't stop you but I will tell you know, this is stupid, Greg you are putting yourself back into that hell we took so long to drag ourselves out of." Without another word, he flung the door open and as quickly as he had opened it, he slammed it shut leaving Greg alone, bottle in hand and sense of failure in him.

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Jay would not talk to Mouse at all, he gave him the silent treatment and the whole team noticed, they would not be good detectives if they had not. Erin had tried to get Jay to open up to no avail and when she had cornered Mouse the next day he pushed her off and went about his business. Then one day the tension exploded, Jay and Mouse got into a yelling match, in front of the team. It was a late night, the case was ending and the team was getting ready to go out and nail a murderer. Mouse was hooking up equipment to Adam when Jay walked in; Mouse quickly stood and went to the shelving unit.

"Pathetic," Jay murmured under his breath.

"Excuse me," Mouse whipped around, a look of disgust on his face.

"You are running away from what bothers you here, you think you can do that over there."

"Don't flatter yourself; you're not worth getting angry over." Up until now, the team had been left in the dark about what Mouse was doing or why Jay was angry.

"You know what forget it man; you don't want to be here anyway!"

"Whatever Jay, you're just angry because I'm making my own decisions and you can't boss me around anymore."

"Boss you…" Jay's anger rose inside of him quickly. "I never boss you around; I pulled your ass out of that life of being a homeless drug addict, so you can bit me."

"So quick to forget how I saved your ass back in Malaysia, oh wait, you don't want to talk about it, that's the Halstead way, no talking just anger!"

"I tried to talk to you but you have this crazy idiotic idea and just like the Greg way you are going to do it even though you know the results!" Jay shoved Mouse and he retaliated but shoving back.

"Hey maybe we should step back from this," Erin stepped in between the two her hands outstretched holding one each side.

"Whatever Mouse, do whatever you want to do, go back get shot and come back here and spiral again!" Mouse lunged at Jay and Jay back at him; Adam quickly helped Erin separate the two.

"HEY," The sharp yell brought of the chaos to a halt as Antonio stormed in. "What the hell is going on?"

"Go ahead Greg, tell them," Jay demanded.

"Tell us what," Adam asked as he released Mouse's shirt. Mouse glared at Jay as all eyes laid on him.

"Go back," Erin repeated in the silent room, Jay's angry rant had finally sank in.

"Pending a prior arrest, I will be signing up for the rangers," Mouse finally revealed his secret; he did not want to say anything until he was sure but Jay had ruined that plan.

"The Rangers, you are going back over, that's huge man, when were you gonna tell us?" Antonio was unsure how to go about this, Jay and mouse had never spoken about their time in the Rangers but what he did know was that they struggled when they got home.

"When I was sure, I had to talk to Voight…"

"Boss knows," Kevin asked.

"Yes," Mouse replied. It took Jay a minute, what Mouse had said earlier "Pending a prior arrest", Mouse was going to ask Voight to expunge his record of his last arrest.

"Were going to miss you man," Kevin patted him on the back, the rest of the team nodded in the awkward silence but before anyone else could say anything Jay stormed off leaving the team torn and Mouse sure that he just lost his best friend.

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Jay stormed up the stairs, through the empty bullpen making a beeline to Voight's door. It was closed'; from outside Jay could hear he was on a call but it did not matter. He did not bother knocking he barged in and instantly he was met with an angry scowl from his boss.

"Can I help you with something Halstead," Voight's raspy voice was edged with annoyance.

"You can't do this, you can't take away that arrest from Greg's record," It was a plea but then again it came out more as a demand.

"Are you coming into my office and telling me what I can and cannot do?"

"You send him back he could be killed!"

"He knows that, Jay I can't stop him from wanting to defend his country."

"But you can, don't expunge his arrest from his record!"

"It's too late Halstead, its already been done."

"How could you do that?" Rage boiled thought Jay's body as he slammed his hand on the desk. He was never one to go one to one with Voight, occasionally there would be a slight disagreement but never had he raised his voice or acted out like this. "Last time… Last time when he came home he spiraled out of control; if he goes back it will happen again!"

"Jay I can't stop him, his mind is made up, all we can do now is wait and when he comes back he'll have the team to lean on." Jay collapse in to the chair angry, scare, frustrated, and drained.

"I can't let him get like that again."

"We won't, but you fighting with him isn't going to make this any easier, I'm not the sentimental type but he needs his friend." Jay nodded, he knew this already but accepting the fact that his best friend was going to war was a punch to the gut.

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"Come on Mouse, first rounds on me," Antonio clapped his hand on his back as the others rounded up to leave for the day. Coats in hand they grabbed all met up at the top of the stairs. It was the end of a very long case, and even longer day and Mollie's was calling their names.

"I'll meet you there," He smiled as he logged off his computer, his gaze as set on Jay who was typing up his final reports. Another pat on the back and nod from Antonio showed he understood and soon the team disappeared. His heart raced as he thought of a conversation starter, the two had not talked in two days since the fight, and maybe it was for the best. Jay stayed focused on his report unaware that Mouse was moving closer.

"Hey," he had to push out the words with all his might, being the one to start the conversation was always the hardest. Jay stopped typing looked up to his friend who was bouncing from one foot to another.

"Before you say anything, I don't have to like this Mouse," He used the nickname, was this a good sign? "Mouse I don't know why the hell you would want to go back, I guess all those nightmares and PTSD flashbacks set me straight."

"I need to feel like I'm doing something that I am good at, I know I can make that difference."

"I guess I just thought that after the humvee accident…"

"That changed me… It changed you but I can't let that dictate how I live my life, fear is a bitch, recovery was horrid but I got through it, we made it home… We made it home but Rowans, Lewis, Jackson… they didn't."

"That's not fair; you can't blame yourself for that."

"I don't, but I'm going back there to finish what we started, to make their deaths mean more, to maybe bring a little closer to their wives and husband."

"That's a lot to put on you," Jay protested.

"I know I'm not going to win the war the second I go back but to be a part of that; it's where I need to be Jay." Jay looked at him, the rims of his eyes were red, it was his tell of then he might cry or simply when he was upset. "I'm not saying you have to like it, hell I know you hate it but I just need you to stop trying to stop me, I just need you to be there for me when I come back."

"You have to promise me that you will come back and when you do, you need to promise me you won't shut me out; you will have the whole team behind you but don't shut them out like you did me."

"Okay," He agreed, his signature smirk slowly made its way to his face. "Are you coming to Mollie's?"

"That depends, are you buying?"

"First rounds on Antonio, let's see who else will get the rounds."

"It's a deal." Jay grabbed his jacket off the chair and followed Mouse down the stairs, the fear was still there but Jay knew that he had to be strong, his brother in arms was going back into hell and when he came back out there was no telling what waited for him back home; he needed to be a friend.

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Jay stood with Erin behind the ticket line while Mouse put his bags through. It was the day he dreaded and it had come too fast, Mouse was leaving today and it was going to be impossible to say goodbye. The rest of the team were on their way but Erin has suggested that Jay and her drive Mouse to the airport so Jay could say goodbye before the rest of the team arrived. Mouse made his way back to his friends, he stood proudly in his clean Rangers uniform: the last time he wore it was when Jay and he had gotten Medals of Valor for saving two of the five members of their convoy.

"We're going to miss you," For the first time ever Erin wrapped Mouse in a hug, it was a tight squeeze and he could tell she was upset but not showing it.

"I'll miss you too, I'll Skype and write, and maybe you guys can send me some care packages with Mollie's finest."

"I doubt they would allow that," Jay rolled his eyes.

"Can't blame a guy for trying," He smirked. Jay looked at Erin who was on her phone at that moment, she was looking intently at it as if she was reading a message but she was just on the home screen.

"The team is texting; they will be here any minute I'm going to go meet them so I can show them where we are." She took off without waiting for a response.

"She is a horrible liar on the little things," Mouse observed.

"Yeah well, nobody's perfect." They laughed and then the awkward silence ensued. They stood in front of each other, not sure what to say.

"Remember what we used to say before every mission?" Jay finally asked.

"Semper parati semper malum asinum," Mouse smirked. "Always Ready, always a bad ass."

"And always make it home."

"I will," Jay nodded and smiled, tears prickling his eyes.

"You're my best friend mouse, my brother; come home to us okay, all in one piece and alive."

"I try my hardest."

"Mouse," Kevin called, Jay quickly wiped his eyes and turned to the group, even Voight showed. It was so quick; they all said their goodbyes, gave him a goodbye hug and watched as he made his way through security. It felt like in an instant he was gone, they stood there in silence for a moment as the all processed that Mouse was going away for a while, before Al spoke up.

"How about breakfast," It was a kind gesture to get them to snapback from their thoughts.

"I'm starving," Adam spoke up first.

"I could eat," Kevin replied. One by one, they all agreed to a meal together until it was finally on Jay who was still looking at the security line.

"Jay," Erin asked, she placed a hand on his shoulder expecting him to be surprised by her present but instead he nodded. As much as Mouse would need the team when he got back, Jay was going to need them while Mouse was gone.

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Hello again, I hope you liked the chapter, if not please be kind, if you have a comment you would like to leave please don't be rude, I've had problems in the past with a reader. I am also going to say that if you're going to comment in my grammar, or writing style I apologize ahead of time. Thank you ~Layna