December 1, 1929

Dearest Rose,

I know that this will come to a shock to you, or maybe it won't. The dark cloud that has settled over us, just keeps growing darker. I know what you are going to say. That I'm being melodramatic. That we will survive without all the money and luxury that it buys. That you and Jacob had lived four years without it and that you had survived just fine. But you see, that's just it. I've never lived without money. I don't know what I could do or how I would support you. You may think that I'm a coward, or that I didn't love you after all.

But that is not true. I do love you and our children. I love you more than anything, which is why I'm doing this. I know that my life as a pampered businessman has left me without the skills and the moxie to make it without the money to cushion the fall. It has made me a burden...a burden that I refuse to saddle you with. So I am doing this for you and the children, to free you so you can go on without having to drag me behind you.

I know that this is breaking my promise, but I cannot see any other way. I love you dearly, my Rose. I am grateful for the time I had with you and our children. Jacob is already a handsome, resourceful young man. I suppose he got that from both you and Dawson, and I know that our twins will be alright with you two heading the family now.

Tell them that I love them. That this had nothing to do with how I feel about them. It's all about me. I suppose this is the one last selfish act I had left in me. But then again, you all are better off. I can see no other way.

Take care. I love you always,

Cal

December 5, 1929

It was a gray, rainy day. The perfect day for a funeral. Rose and her children were in front of the crowd as everyone gathered around the coffin that was ready to be lowered into the ground. Her son Jacob, who was now seventeen years of age, gripped her hand tightly in his, holding back his own tears as he allowed his mother to lean against him in her grief. The twins stood beside each other, their hands clasped and silent sobs could be heard as they cried over the loss of their father.

"Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust," the Reverend solemnly read, closing his bible.

That was it. The ceremony was over. The only thing left to do was to turn around and go to home to the mansion and figure out what they were going to do next.

As her children lead her back to the car, Rose's thoughts were dark. She had thought that her years of loneliness were over. She had thought that she would always have someone there to love and protect her and her children. When she had married Caledon Hockley, she had never thought that he would do something like this. Leave her with three children to raise, just as they were losing everything else. She didn't care about the loss of the money. She had never cared about that. Just as long as she had her husband and children, she would be fine. She had loved Cal more than anything. She had thought that he had felt the same. Sadly, money was still the great mistress in their marriage. Nothing could come between Cal and the money he had inherited. Not the crash and not even death, apparently.

She sighed, shaking the thought out of her head. She wasn't being fair. Cal had just been scared and depressed. He couldn't see how they would all be alright without the money. Like he had said in his letter, he didn't know how to live without it. He didn't want to be a burden.

She felt another sob come up as she ran his final words through her mind. She didn't understand! Why couldn't he see that he could never be a burden to her! Never! She would go to work, she'd be a seamstress, she'd panhandle on the streets for money, if only it would bring him back! She had already lost one love, why must she lose another?!

Jacob didn't know what to do at the sound of his mother's worsening sobs. It seemed like ever since he had discovered his father's body, all she did was cry. She was inconsolable and he didn't know how to make it better. In fact, he sometimes worried that maybe the sight of him made it worse, because according to both her and Cal, he was the very image of his biological father, his mother's first love Jack. He was probably just another reminder that this was not the first time losing the man she loved.

Dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief, Rose pulled herself together. This was different from when she had lost Jack. With Jack, Jacob hadn't even been a bump yet, but with Cal, she had three children to take care of. Well, Jacob wasn't a small child anymore. He was the same age she had been when she had been pregnant with him, but Maxwell and Olivia still needed her. She had to be strong for them. She couldn't fall apart.

"What are we going to do now mommy?" Maxwell looked up at her curiously with his green eyes, yet his small frown was all Cal.

"We go home and have Betsy put us on some tea. I think we can all use something to eat."

"Come mother. The car is this way," Jacob lead the way to the waiting town car that would take them back to the mansion.

As they walked away, Rose glanced back at Cal's coffin and felt a spark of anger mixed with her grief. He had once promised never to leave her. He had broken that promise. He had left her and their children when they would need him the most. She didn't know what was going to happen to them now.

Sniffling, she turned away and continued on to the car, trying not to think about her grief, but about what the future was going to hold for her and her children.

…..

November 15, 1932

Rose sighed as she stared at the eviction notice. She couldn't believe that it was happening again. Ever since the foreclosure on the mansion, Rose had been having trouble finding a permanent place for her and the children. Jacob tried to go to work, but the little work he found hardly paid him anything and keeping up with the rent was a difficult, almost impossible task. This was the third time this had happened and Rose was at her wits end. She didn't know what they could do now. What made it worse was the holidays were coming up. How could she give her family a nice thanksgiving when they had nowhere to go?

It was strange. Twenty years ago, she had no problem living hand to mouth. But now, she was finding it nearly impossible. She didn't know how much more that she could take.

"Another one, mother?" Jacob frowned as he came in from work, shrugging off his winter's coat.

Rose simply nodded. "I don't know what we're going to do. This is a horrible time of year to move and it's the holidays!"

"I'm sorry. Maybe I can get some more hours and can somehow make up the back rent..."

"There's not enough time and you shouldn't work your fingers to the bone like this. You should be out starting your new life, not taking care of us," Rose rubbed her eyes. "When your father, Jack...when he had been your age, he had seen most of the world by now. I wanted that for you. That and so much more than this..."

"Mother, don't. Times had changed since then and I don't mind helping out, really. What else am I going to do? I don't have a girl. I don't really have any plans, so why not help you take care of Max and Livvie?"

"I just don't know what to do anymore."

Jacob sat next to her, pursing his lips as he searched his brain for a solution to their problem. New York was a harsh city to be homeless in the late fall. The main thing they would need was a roof over their heads. Something that was permanent and theirs. Somewhere that they could just rest and not have to worry about rent for a while...but where could that be?

Then he remembered. It was simple! He was surprised that his mother hadn't came up with the idea herself! "Momma! Chippewa Falls!"

Rose frowned. "What?"

"My inheritance from my biological father, Jack! The house in Chippewa Falls! We can go there! It's been sitting there empty for all this time and it's my inheritance, we wouldn't have to worry about rent! We can at least stay there until things are better again!"

Rose frowned. She wasn't sure about Chippewa Falls. When she thought of that town, she thought of those people trying to take Jacob away from her. She knew they weren't still there. Cal had made sure of that. But still...so many sad memories...of both the custody battle and of Jack, her long lost love.

"I don't know..."

"Why? I mean...he'd want us to go there! You know he would! Both him and daddy would! It's somewhere permanent and secure for the twins! Somewhere safe..."

She had to admit, Jacob made a good point. It'd be foolish not to follow his suggestion, especially when they were in such dire straits at the moment.

"You are right. They would want us to go there. And it is safe and secure and no more of these damn eviction notices. Plus a small town life would be good for the twins and you can probably learn more about your father there. I am sure there are still people alive that knew him as a child...he had left at such an early age..."

"Great! I guess I'll start packing and get Max and Livvie started as well."

"I'll arrange for the train tickets," Rose got to her feet, letting the eviction notice fall to the carpeted floor. "You know, this is a good idea, Jacob."

His smile was identical to Jacks, bright and sunny. "Everything is going to be alright mom. I just know it."

Rose watched her oldest son disappear into his room, feeling both optimistic and pessimistic. Yes, this move was a good idea. It gave her and her children somewhere permanent to go. But still, who knew what they'd find once they got there?