Hi everyone! I hope you are all doing fantastic!

EDIT: Before I mentioned that It was implied that Saeran hadn't been brought back- I was very tired when i began this story, and I messed up what happened at the end of Seven's ending , where Saeran pops up saying "Wake up, you haven't found me yet" as what happened at the very end of the Secret 02 Endings. My bad ^^;

This story is based off of the idea that after being saved and taken from the hospital, Saeran stayed with Saeyoung and joined the RFA, and is trying to get better, and accept his brother, himself, and everyone else. And a certain little blonde beam of sunshine may just be the one who truly helps him... Hehe.

I ship Yooran so much it isn't even funny, I just want this ship to be popular okay *cries*

Anyways, This story will probably be a long one. Quite long, i am hoping. I have a lot of ideas for this fan fiction, and so I hope you stick with me to the end!

NOTE: Just for emotion's sake, and to give a sense of humanity to the character, I'm naming MC Jade. I feel it will be easier to associate emotion to her if she has a legitimate name in this particular story.

I do not own Mystic Messenger.

I shifted my weight, trying to find a position to aid my discomfort- nothing worked. I wrapped my arms around myself, a natural defence mechanism. I gazed at everyone in the room, just under the veil of my hair. I flicked my bangs out of the way, only to sigh as they fell back in place. I was still getting used to having my hair back to my natural colour. For so long, I avoided being like him- in any way, as much as I could, being his twin- that it was such a strange feeling to have allowed the change. I was still unsure whether it was a good change or not.

My arms resumed their hold around my stomach, my back pressed against the wall as I watched everyone interact. Jade was laughing at something Saeyoung had said, and I could see Jaehee shaking her head in disapproval as he wiggled his eyebrows. My brother had always been more cheerful and positive than I was, but it seemed now he had grown up to be quite the prankster and joke connoisseur.

I diverted my eyes, looking over towards Zen and Jumin, who seemed to be arguing about something. Probably cats, considering Zen looked as though he was about to sneeze.

I sighed, a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach as I looked down to my feet. Saeyoung and Jade were trying to convince everyone desperately that I was getting better, and that I was safe to have in the organization, but I could see in everyone else's eyes, I could feel it- the doubt, the fear, the uncertainty.

I rubbed my forehead slowly with two of my fingers, sucking in a deep breath.

I couldn't really blame them, though. I did attack them, threaten to hurt them, try to kill Saeyoung, tried to kill myself... It really wasn't painting the best picture for me. I felt sick suddenly. I needed to leave.

I turned on my heel, walking down the hallway towards the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. I locked it, leaning back against the door, my legs failing me. I slid down against it, soon the cold of the tile floor chilling my hands. I could feel bile swirling in my stomach, panic arising. I crawled to the toilet, retching as I knelt over it, my head spinning, stars bursting behind my eyes, blinding me.

I continued to lean against the ceramic bowl of the toilet, trying to calm my breathing, and failing miserably. I had always experienced panic attacks, ever since I was young, even more so in Mint Eye- but they always gave me a needle, and I calmed down instantly. I was experiencing withdrawals frequently- Saeyoung had taken me to a doctor and they prescribed me medication for anxiety and schizophrenia, but I felt sick taking it. I felt sick anyways, but god, I just felt so much worse- whether it was a legitimate reaction to the meds, or my own head causing me to feel that way, I had no idea.

I vomited again, tears pooling into my eyes from the burning in my throat. I coughed, trying to dislodge the bile, spitting it down into the water below me. I stood slowly on my quivering legs, leaning on the bathroom counter for support. I flushed the toilet, looking at myself in the mirror.

My mint-coloured eyes were bloodshot, emphasizing their unnatural shade even more. Strands of red hair were stuck to my forehead because of the sweat gathered there, and my cheeks were flushed. I turned on the tap, splashing water on my face, trying to ease the tension under the surface of my skin. The cool liquid helped to bring me down a bit, reminding me of the real world- I was not in danger. I was safe. This wasn't a fabrication of my twisted mind.

I turned to the towel hung on the wall, lifting it to dry my face gently, letting out a slow breath, my panic subsiding, ebbing away slowly like an ocean does to the shore. I opened the door, prepared to make my way out, but gasped in surprise as I slammed into something and fell backwards, landing hard on my palms and ass.

"Wha-Ow!" I rubbed my hip in agitation, feeling a flame of aggression rise inside me, and I clenched my jaw hard in an attempt to quell it. I couldn't let that side of me take over, I had to control it. I looked up to see what I had run into, and saw Yoosung, half-kneeling over my legs, a bright pink flush on his face, his violet eyes wide with surprise.

He suddenly registered the situation, the flush growing deeper, embarrassment covering his features.

"Oh.. Oh! OH!" He jumped back, hiding his face in his hands. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I was- I was just- I saw you go in here, and I thought I heard you sick- and- Oh god, I'm sorry!"

I blinked slowly at the blond, taking in what he said. He noticed me leave?

"It's... Okay." I spoke slowly, cautiously. I couldn't take too much of what he said into account. From what I knew about everyone, he was the most innocent, but I was sure that he was just as suspicious of me as everyone else. He probably just had an easier time being nice.

I dusted myself off, attempting to stand, but he shot up like a lightning bolt, holding his hand out to me. I blinked again, a nervous twitch shaking through me at the thought of touching him. Physical contact was a thing I was still becoming accustomed to, and was slightly afraid of- but I felt myself reaching out to his hand anyways. Perhaps because I could sense this person was very gentle by nature, and I had no reason to be concerned about him being a threat.

He grasped my hand, steadying himself as he assisted me in standing up. I looked at his hand in my own. Although he was pale, I was much more so by comparison- a result of the past years I dealt with. I glared at my skin, a loathing rising inside me again, but it was calmed as fast as it came as I focused on how warm his hands were against my seemingly permanently cold skin.

"Um.. Saeran...?"

I looked up at him questioningly, saying nothing, and he smiled sheepishly.

"Y..You're still holding my hand."

My eyes shot wide, my hand retracting like it had been burned. I looked away, coughing awkwardly.

"...Sorry. I spaced out, I guess..."

Yoosung smiled widely at me, rubbing his neck.

"It's okay! It's my fault anyways for running into you so suddenly."

I remained silent, looking back at the ground. I didn't want to look at him. He seemed so innocent, and pure- I felt like I could stain him just by making eye contact. Suddenly he was leaning down, looking up at my line of vision and I stepped back, surprised.

"W-What?"

Yoosung blinked, his eyebrows knitting together in concern.

"Well... You were vomiting, right..? I heard it when I followed you down the hall. Are you okay?"

I felt an unfamiliar feeling grow in my stomach. What was this? I don't know. I felt panic rising inside me once more- new emotions were something I never handled well. I swallowed, trying to stop the storm brewing within my depths. I glared at Yoosung coldly, my body acting on impulse.

"Why do you care?" I spat the words at him, immediately feeling a pang of regret at being unable to stop the rage my body had grown so accustomed to. I wanted to apologize, but I couldn't- my throat was frozen, so I tore my eyes away from him, staring at my feet in frustration.

"You're Saeyoung's brother," I flinched as he spoke, "and now, you're a member of the RFA. Of course I'm concerned, anyone would be."

I let out a dry chuckle, shaking my head. "No, the others are all suspicious of me. The only reason I'm in the RFA is because Saeyoung convinced them to let me in. I'm sure they don't want me here."

"I do."

I blinked at the floor, my fingernails digging into my palm. Was he lying? Was he pretending? I looked up at him, and his face looked serious, but it mostly came off looking like a frustrated puppy. I had to fight the urge to smile- something that was strange within itself.

"...Why?" My voice came out soft, genuinely confused. I couldn't see any reason why any of the RFA members would want to get to know me, especially Yoosung. He seemed like the sunshine you'd feel on a warm spring day- couldn't he see I was a hurricane ready to destroy everything in my path? Why would he want to get to know the fragmented person that I am?

A small smile crept up on his face as he played with his hands nervously.

"Well... I don't really know how to word the exact reason.. It's kind of more of a feeling..?" He looked up at me, his eyes hopeful I would get his point.

I didn't.

"Feeling?" I repeated feebly, not understanding what he meant at all. Feelings were not my strong suit- positive ones weren't, anyways.

He laughed, rubbing his neck- it seemed to be a nervous habit of his. I watched his eyes flicker downwards, something he seemed to do when embarrassed. He looked even more innocent like this.

"Yeah, I guess it's just that I feel like I need to talk to you- well, no. Not need," He smiled wider, blushing in embarrassment, "I guess I just really want to?"

"Because I'm Saeyoung's brother?"

Yoosung shook his head, not a moment after I spoke.

"No, not because of that. You just have a vibe, I guess. It makes me want to know you, because you're... Well. Because you're you. Not because of Saeyoung. He has nothing to do with it."

I stared at him, my right hand squeezing my left arm hard. I was sure there would be a bruise later. I break from his gaze, looking to the side. I shifted my weight, trying to think of what to do, or say.

"...Whatever."

I could hear Yoosung gasp quickly in excitement, now bouncing on his toes.

"Does that mean I can talk to you?!"

I shrugged, looking at him from the corner of my eye, looking back down at the ground not even a second later.

"Do... Whatever you want. I don't care." I stepped by him, walking down the hall. He remained still for a moment before excitedly bounding after me. I felt the corners of my lips twitch momentarily, immediately straightening back down into a hard line.

This was stupid.

And that's it for chapter one ! I hope you guys liked it :3

Stay Rad!

~Pixil-8