"Your pubic hair is so cute, Sakura-chan."

"I finally take my shorts down for you, and that's what you say? We've been flirting like crazy for two years, had sexual tension for four years, been comrades for six years, and known each other for ten years, we're finally about to do it and this is what you say to me?" It's difficult to get a good scold going on someone who has a hand on each of your naked thighs, but Sakura gives it her best. "We're up in a tree. A sparring session in the forest has just ended with us giving each other 'fuck me' eyes. This is supposed to be passionate."

"But Sakura-chan." Kakashi's eyes over his mask are even more puppy-like than usual. "It is really cute. Pink is officially my favourite colour now."

Sakura rolls her eyes. "You are an absolute—ah!"

In the brief moment that her gaze left him, he had somehow ripped his shirt and mask off entirely, and he was now exploring her with his tongue. She grabs onto his shoulders to steady herself, admiring the lean, scarred muscles of his back. He giggles softly, and she can feel his breath hot on her folds. "Never shave, Sakura. It's really—" he nuzzles her dark rosy curls—"really cute."

"Shit," moans Sakura as he returns to licking her clit, this time rubbing her entrance with his fingers before experimentally sliding one in. From there her moans become wordless as he expertly brings her to orgasm.

He pulls off to grin up at her, and she thinks dimly that she never would have expected that her first time seeing Kakashi's face would be with his lips moist from her own orgasm. "See? Icha Icha is good for something."

"Rest in peace, Jiraiya-sama," she says with real gratitude.

"He's probably watching us from the Pure Land, the old voyeur," Kakashi grunts as he balances on the branch to take off his pants and briefs, tossing them without caring where they land.

"Briefs, huh? I've wondered."

"Better support."

"Looks like you need it." She runs a finger along his impressive length and teases, "How do you want to do this, big boy?"

"You're going to give me a big head," he says. "Pun intended. Switch places with me."

She obliges, and when she moves to take off the rest of her her top and skirt, he stops her. "No, keep them on. It's sexy."

When they finish, they cuddle in the branches for a while, watching the dappled light through the leaves and hearing the sounds of the birds and animals in the forest.

"So, uh," Sakura says, a bit nervously, "are we, um… together, now, or…"

Kakashi rests his chin on top of her head and sighs. "Privately, Sakura, I'm 100% committed to you. Publicly, it gets a little more complicated. I'm the Hokage, and you're my former student. The council will use that as justification for getting in our business."

"You think they'll want to stop us?"

"The opposite. They'll be ecstatic at the idea of you and I reproducing. It's more that I'm worried that they'll be pushing us to get married and have children immediately. I'd rather we decide how our relationship develops, without a bunch of old busybodies trying to manipulate us. The only reason they haven't been after me before now is because for some reason they have this idea that I'm neurotic and unsuited to relationships with real women."

"I wonder what gave them that idea," Sakura mutters.

"And they won't just be going after me. You don't deserve that kind of pressure."

"It's sweet of you to worry," she says, "but I can ignore pressure."

"Sakura," he says with a certain touch of condescension. "I know you. You're not like me. You care about what people think."

"Mmm," she hums noncommittally. "Anyway, if you want to keep it private for now, I don't mind. But the second we tell Naruto, he won't be able to keep it a secret, you know that, right? And we can't keep him in the dark for long. He'll be really hurt."

"Let me just have you all to myself for a few weeks at least," he says.

"Well, we should go back through the gates separately then," she says as she reaches up to the branch where she hooked her shorts and panties. She slips them on as she adds, "Shall I go first?"

"Sounds good. I might take a nap."

"Naked?"

"Hmm. Good point. I should get my mask back on."

"Idiot," she giggles, and blows him a kiss as she dashes off through the branches back towards Konoha.

Kakashi stretches, and darts down to the forest floor to find his clothes. His sandals and pants with the underwear still inside are right by the base of the trunk of the tree. His lower half dressed, he looks around for his shirt and mask.

And looks around.

And looks around.

He sighs. There's a council meeting coming up, and while he doesn't want to be on time to it—that would be too suspicious—he doesn't want to be excessively late to it, since he wants to start coaxing the council into seeing things his way when it comes to his personal life. He bites his thumb and summons his ninken.

"Hey boss—whoa," says Pakkun, blinking up at Kakashi's bare face and chest. The pug sniffs the air. "Whoa. You and Floral Green were—"

"Never mind about that," Kakashi cuts him off. "I need to find my shirt. It has to be nearby."

"Should be easy." The pug sniffs again, then darts off. Within a minute, Kakashi hears the dog laughing. "I found it, but I don't know if you'll want it back."

Kakashi follows the sound of the canine laughter to discover Pakkun keeping a hissing raccoon at bay. Behind the raccoon, in a hole in a tree, is a bunch of baby raccoons snuggled in the shredded remains of Kakashi's mask-attached shirt.

—

"Stop. All visitors must dispel their henge to enter the village, by order of the Hokage."

"I am the Hokage."

Izumo and Kotetsu look at each other, and then Izumo says, "…isn't that just what an enemy would say if they wanted to get in without dropping their henge?"

"Can't you read my chakra signature? I'm clearly who I say I am."

"But there are ways to alter a chakra signature."

Damn your inconvenient competence. "…Fine." He covers his lower face with his hands and drops the henge.

"Wow," says Kotetsu appreciatively.

Kakashi glances down and realizes that Sakura left quite a few love bites and nail marks on him.

"Did you uh… have a good time outside the village Hokage-sama?" says Izumo.

"Just let me in!"

Kakashi reapplies the henge and lets his hands drop, then stalks off towards the tower.

"Kakashi-ji-chan! Kakashi-ji-chan!" comes the joyous voice of little Mirai, with Kurenai chasing after her.

The child jumps into Kakashi's arms, and he is too distracted by her chatter to notice Kurenai's sudden look of dismay.

"Kai!"

There are few people better at identifying and dispelling genjutsu than Kurenai, and nobody is sneaking into the village disguised as the Hokage under her watch.

Suddenly, the entire marketplace is staring at his bare face.

"Hokage-sama!" squeal a bunch of women, fainting.

"Hokage-sama!" gasp a bunch of men, as they question and/or reaffirm their sexuality.

"That was amazing," says Kurenai, fanning herself.

"Kakashi-ji-chan, what is everyone staring at you for?" Mirai, familiar with the concept of a henge, is unperturbed by his sudden transformation into a shirtless, maskless version of himself. "Hey, did you get into a fight? You got bite marks on you."

"I'm just going to get those checked out now goodbyyeeeeeee~" Kakashi plops the child on the ground and body flickers to the door of his living quarters.

And right in front of Naruto.

"Kaka-sensei! I just came to see you da… tte… ba…" Naruto leaves the final syllable of his catch phrase unstated, gazing slackjawed at Kakashi's face and chest.

"Sparring accident," laughs Kakashi awkwardly, running through the seals to open his door at manic speed.

Naruto may not be conventionally perceptive, but even he can recognize a love bite by now. "Sparring?"

"Yes. Horribly traumatic. Let's never speak of it again." Kakashi vanishes through the door with a slam.

"Hey… wait a minute… Sakura-chan said she was sparring with you today! Sensei! Sensei!"