The Breakup Chapter 8: Epilogue, a wander over yonder fanfic

Hello everyone and welcome to the Epilogue. Now I know what you're all thinking. 'Doc, with your two main antagonists already dead, what are you gonna do for the grand finale? What final problem will Wander and Deedee have to solve before they start their new life together? What will happen to Sylvia once they leave the galaxy forever? And what about Lord Hater?' Well, since I'm such an incorrigibly tease, I've decided to give you a small taste of what's to come in the last installment. So with that said, let's get right to it. Wander over Yonder is owned by Disney. Nefarious and everything else is owned by Insomniac Games and Sony Interactive Entertainment. Enjoy.

The Breakup: Epilogue.

(Somewhere in the Galaxy: Five Weeks Later)

The interior of Neckbeard's Cosmic Curio & Pan-Dimensional Oddity Emporium was more or less what you'd expect from someone who dressed like they lived in their mother's basement.

Drab colored walls.

Faint smell of mothballs.

Items arranged in a confusing manner than can only be described as 'Organized Chaos'.

Thoroughly unappealing to the average consumer, but quite homey to those who favored the avant-garde.

Take for example, a certain camo clad arachnomorph hunter by the name of Emily Ripov.

DING!

Went the little bell on the checkout counter as the purple-skinned nimrod feverishly tapped on it to gain the owner's attention.

"I can do this all day, you know." She said tauntingly to the unseen administrator. "I got nowhere else to be."

DING!

"Alight! I'm coming!" yelled the owner from some unknown location. Moments later, he appeared before her in a bright flash of magical energy; revealing himself to be an unkempt, heavyset fellow in a wizard's cloak and cap. Upon seeing her, his rage quickly turned to mild annoyance, and his face morphed to reflect this. "Oh, it's just you. What do you want?"

"Oh, I'm just super, Neckbeard. Thanks for asking." Replied the woman sarcastically; much to the larger man's displeasure.

"Ripov. What do you want?"

"Well, now that you mention it, I…"

"No, no, don't tell me. I shall use my superior brain power to deduce the answer." The chubby wizard said arrogantly as he began to stroke his scruffy chin in contemplation. "Now… let me see… In the five years since I first opened this shop, you've been in here a grand total of one hundred and ninety-six times and purchased nothing. So I can only assume that you're here to try to sell me something. You're carrying a duffel bag, so it can't be more arachnomorph venom. Therefore, it must be some sort of artifact you've recently acquired. And since this is you we're talking about, I can only assume that it is something I neither want nor need in my establishment. So to my mind, the only question that remains is, 'Do you want to leave my shop quietly, or be thrown out like last time'?"

"Will you at least look at it?" the purple-skinned huntress replied, in a tone both pleading and insulting. "C'mon~ It's not like you've got anything better to do."

"UGH! Fine." The fat man yielded as she happily pulled the object from her bag and placed it on the counter. "But this had better be goo…."

The words died in his throat as he finally got a look at the infamous artifact.

It was a skull.

A medium sized, soot covered, partially melted, metal skull.

"Is that…"

"Eyup."

"Would you mind if I…"

"No, go right ahead."

And with that, Neckbeard proceeded to examine the robotic remains; much to Ripov's amusement.

First, he looked over the left eye; now little more than an empty socket. There was a thin red streak just below it; presumably the residue from when the subject's pupil had melted. Next, he examined the other eye, which had apparently been blown off completely; exposing what appeared to be a mass of fried circuitry. Then, he moved on to the mouth. The upper and lower jaws had been fused together in several places; giving it the appearance of some sort of muzzle. Lastly, he looked up at the cranium, which also appeared to have been blown off completely; all that remained was a mélange of twisted gears and melted glass.

In short, the skull was in pretty rough shape, but said shape was still very recognizable.

"Is this…"

"That's right, Jumbo." The purple female said jocularly. "Dr. Anton Nefarious, or what's left of him anyway. Incontestable proof that the metal menace is 100% deceased."

"But… how? Where did you…"

"Long story, Chubs. And for personal reasons I can't go into the details. But trust me, this is the real deal."

"So it would seem." The chubby wizard said, his tone suddenly turning skeptical. "Although, crafting a convincing forgery wouldn't be too difficult; even for someone of your limited intelligence."

"Run any test on it you want, Big Chief, but they'll all turn out the same. This is real, man. As real as it gets."

"Okay… let's pretend for a moment that I believe you. How much are you asking for it?"

"Oh, you can have this hunk of junk free of charge. If I wanted money, I would've gone to someone with deeper pockets. Like a sub-galactic dictator or a voodoo priest. Heck, I know this one guy in the Polaris Galaxy who'd give his left femur just to look at this thing?"

"Alright, then what do you want?"

"Information." She answered bluntly. "See, while I was looking for this thing, I found something else. Something weird. Something I thought you might know something about."

"Oh really, and what pray tell might that be?"

Instead of answering, Ripov reached back into her open duffel bag and held up the artifact in question for him to see.

To her great amusement, the chubby wizard's eyes went as wide as dinner plates and his mouth hung open in shock.

'Hot Dang!' she thought to herself excitedly as she inspected her prize; a pair of solid gold scissors covered in flawless black opals. 'I knew I hit the jackpot this time!'

End Notes:

Coming in February: The Final Problem.

See you next time folks, for the grand finale.

Until then, Peace.