A/N: hahahaha hello again, it's not like it's been a year or anything ahahahahaah or like a year, five months and twenty-two days ahaha

Instead of Kindness

Loving someone was not simply warmth.

Sometimes, it felt cold.

Cold fingers against soft skin. Cold words to deflect earnest intentions. Cold glances meeting a thoughtful gaze.

But it was still part of loving, to love someone when they were cold. More than that, to love them till they were warm again.

At times like this, Kino would describe it as bittersweet. Because the ache could almost feel good, but it was still an ache. Like muscles recovering from exertion.

Which made sense to Kino, putting it like that. Sometimes the heart put itself out, ran full speed, and in the wake of it all, needed time to simply ache. It wouldn't last forever. The heart would ache, feel what it needed to feel, and would continue to beat.

That's where Kino was with her heart.

It was strange.

She thought she should be a lot happier for Sasuke to be home. Which wasn't to say that she wasn't happy. It was simply that, sometimes it felt like he was seconds away, and other times like he was across the world.

She missed when it felt like he was right next to her.

私の心が痛い

When Sasuke told her of his travels, there was some level of trust in what he chose to share with her. She felt him leaving details out, but never felt like the stories he shared were incomplete. Simply that he couldn't share everything, which made perfect sense to Kino the shinobi.

However, to Kino the human, she felt mildly put out and curious. She suspected it was classified mission details, which made it more forgivable, but the irritation came when she realized what sort of thoughts she was having.

She'd never thought this way before. Craving for more of him, more of his secrets.

It made her a bit afraid of herself, actually, this desire to monopolize him.

But it was short-lived, as the more he told her of seemingly innocuous details, the more it felt like she'd been allowed back into his world. Small, unimportant details to anyone else, but what had made an impression on him.

"I swear, the deer had three eyes and one had to be glowing. I'm still wondering if it was somehow connected to nature chakra or not. Naruto would probably have gotten a better read on it."

"So, it left you alone?" she asked, curious if this strange creature had simply been strange or dangerous.

"It looked at me and then walked away. I don't think it was even startled by me, but a lot of the other wildlife seemed to be unnerved. Anyway, I did report the incident, so it'll be up to the Raikage if he wants anything done about it."

"I'd like to see it myself," Kino blurted, and then hiccuped as she sucked in a soft breath.

Sasuke chuckled, gazing at her with a bit of that old warmth she used to be unable to read but had sense grown better at deciphering.

"I want to," she hiccupped again, "see it with," hiccup, "you."

Maybe because of the interruptions, he didn't seem to take her offer very seriously. With raised brows, staring at her with his uncovered eye, Kino watched a small smile form on his lips.

"Sure," he said, with all the earnestness of an adult humoring a child. It reminded her of the caretakers at the orphanage when Sai and her had gone up asking for leftovers.

Maybe tomorrow there'll be leftovers. Be grateful for what you have now.

Kino blinked at the memory.

And perhaps the bitterness of that memory was what made her snap with the slightest edge in her tone, "Take me with you when you leave this time!"

And of course, she hiccuped as soon as the words were out.

Sasuke sat for a moment in silence. Then, he shifted closer, close enough to reach his hand out and ruffle her hair, his fingers carding through her bangs. His silence made her uneasy but with his hand on her, petting her so sweetly, Kino felt the barest hint of hope grow in the pit of her stomach.

And then, in a tone of voice bartering no further discussion, like a parent scolding a child, Sasuke said, "No. Stay in Konoha, you're doing so well here."

I'll do well with you too, she nearly said. But she kept her silence, simply gazing at him while he played with her hair. The skin and muscles around her cheeks and nose were twisting, tensing, perhaps into a pout. Like the one Ino had with Sai when things didn't go her way.

Sasuke tapped her nose. "You look like a cat about to hiss. Unhappy?"

"Angry," she mumbled, moving in close, testing her boundaries with him, waiting for him to move away or push her back.

He stilled his movement.

Kino pressed closer, her cheek coming to rest against his before she shifted lower, nose brushing against his throat. She both heard and felt him swallow.

"Clingy cat," he whispered, hand coming to rest on her hip, anchoring her.

"Clingy human," she corrected, pressing the softest kiss to his throat. "Please see me as I am."

"Beautiful kunoichi," he mumbled.

Kino smiled. Pressed one last kiss to his skin and shifted back, leaning close but no longer pressed against him.

"Someday, say yes. We could have so much fun together," she informed him.

Sasuke's expression shifted into the slightest of scowls, this one paired with confusion she thought made him look interesting. "You want to have fun with me?"

"I'm happier when you're nearby," she answered, in lieu of a straight out yes. "The world was dull when you were away."

"I think you've become stranger, Kino, since I've been gone."

"I used to think being normal would make you like me more, but that was back when I thought normal existed at all. It doesn't. No one I've ever known has been normal, not even you, Sasuke-san."

He laughed. "It's true, I'm the furthest thing from it. Or, at least the second. That dobe comes first."

"That's why I think you should say yes to me coming with you when you leave," she insisted.

"I'm having trouble connecting these dots, Kino. Just cause we're strange doesn't mean I have to bring you anywhere."

She frowned deeply at that.

"Don't go hissing at me for the truth."

"I've never hissed. Not even once."

"True, would only make you stranger."

"Sasuke-san."

"Kino."

"Sasuke."

He raised his brows.

"Sasuke," she tried again, pulling away, truly miserable at the thought of him leaving.

He stared.

"Ino said you were the type of person I'd have to play hard to get. But I don't really know what that means."

Sasuke snorted. "Let's keep it that way. I don't want to have to go chasing you down."

"Would you?"

"Chase you down?" Sasuke considered this for no longer than it took for him to blink. "No way."

"I don't like the thought of you chasing me down," she admitted warily. "Not like it would be a chase. You'd win in a heartbeat."

He grunted at that and then turned his gaze serious. "Why do you even want to come with?"

She felt her face heat. "Selfish purposes."

"Selfish purposes," he echoed. "Like?"

"To cook for you again and to sleep together like we used to," she mumbled, and then softer, "to show you who I am, to see who you are."

Sasuke regarded her with surprise.

"I'll have to think about it," he said, his expression turning baffled, like he couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth.

And while it still wasn't a yes, that it wasn't a definite no had Kino throwing her arms around his neck and holding on tightly.

"I'll be good, I promise," she told him. "I promise."

そばにいて

私の心が痛い - watashi no kokoro ga itai - my heart hurts

そばにいて - soba ni ite - stay with me