I have just watched scenes from the original pilot of Big Bang Theory, and having recently finished Awake I got this idea. At first, I considered putting it as a crossover, but then thought that it was only slightly inspired by it. If you think I should put it as a crossover, tell me. Now, the things in the canon reality are going to be shown in bold, while the things in the pilot reality are in italic. Things in both are when the same thing happens in both realities. Also, in case you get confused, understand that Leonard's psychiatrists are asking the same questions a lot of the time and he often has the same conversations with both of them. That is why it switches between them the way it does. I don't own the Big Bang Theory or any characters.

"Why don't you tell me about your dreams again Dr Hofstadter? Tell me how this all works."

Leonard signed slightly, annoyed by the question. He stared at his psychiatrist Bella Robert for a moment, trying to not appear stressed. If he appeared stress, who knows what she will tell people. Taking a deep breath, he began speaking.

"Well I wake up, I drive to work with Sheldon, I do my work, have lunch with my friends. I go home to my apartment, spend time with Penny, me and all my friends hang out and stuff. And then I go to sleep."

"And then?" Robert said with a smile, wanting him to continue.

"And then I wake up. And everything is different."

"And how long has this been happening?" Peter Long asked, fiddling with a pen.

"Since I was about eleven. I was in a car accident with my mother and father. We were all fine. Well, I had to be at a hospital for a few days, but nothing major was wrong with me. But the couple in the other car weren't as lucky."

"And the woman died?"

"Well, here yes." Leonard responded, scratching the side of his head nervously. "But in that other place, Lisa's husband Bill died."

"So you stay in contact with Mrs...Allen is it?"

"Its not like we go to the movies or anything, but she lived only a few houses away from me, and I often helped do odd jobs around her house growing up. Now I just email her every now and then, specifically at birthday's and Christmas. I still keep in contact with her son."

Long stared at the younger man with fascination, not knowing that Leonard's other shrink does the same thing. "And ever since then you've had these dreams where Bill Allen lived?"

Leonard nodded.

"And what is your relationship with Mr Allen?"

"I tried to talk to him, like I did with Mrs Allen. But he just refused to acknowledge me. Eventually, he took his son and left. I've never heard about what happened to him." Leonard answered sadly, thinking about the past.

"What about Mr Allen's son? What was your relationship with him"

"You mentioned you stay in contact with Mrs Allen's son. Are you friends then?"

"Harold was two years older than me. We didn't hang out much before the accident, but afterwards he became...withdrawn from everyone else. I guess that sort of contributed to Mr Allen leaving."

"Harold was two years older, so we didn't talk much. I have always admired him for how he handled the accident. Instead of letting it break him, he tried to carry on with his life. And since I kept helping out at his house, we eventually got past the awkwardness and became friends. But, eventually we grew apart over time, due to going to different school, but we still email each other. He's actually in Europe now on his honeymoon."

"Tell me again about these dreams. What are they like?"

Robert stared intently at Leonard, with the latter knowing by her look that she has never dealt with someone like himself before. He guessed that was just one of the consequences of being him.

"Things aren't completely different. I mean, I still live with Sheldon. I still work at the university. My relationship with my family is exactly the same. But after living two lives since I was eleven, I ended up making different choices in both. Just like everyone else did."

"Everyone else?"

"Yeah. Its not like I'm the only one making the changes. Its like for every possible decision that was made in one world, the opposite outcome happened in the other. That's why sports are pretty much pointless. I'm able to see both teams winning."

"But what about your life Dr Hofstadter? What's different about it in these dreams?"

"Well, if we had to start somewhere, I guess it would have to be about Sheldon."

"Come on Leonard, we're going to be late! Gilda and Katie aren't going to wait forever." Sheldon yelled to his roommate, as he typed some things on the computer.

"Well that's not my fault!" Leonard responded as he came into the living room cleaning his glasses. "Its your own fault for spending so much time looking at porn! I told you to wake me up at half past-"

"I did!" Sheldon shouted.

"Let me finish. I told you to wake me up at half past five, not half past eight!" Leonard put on his glasses and grabbed his coat as his roommate grabbed his. The two quickly checked that they had everything they needed.

"So you and Katie are talking again?" Leonard asked, hoping he wasn't breaching a poor subject. For the last few weeks, Sheldon had been moping about since Katie broke up with him.

"Yes. I know things have been rough the last few weeks, but me and Katie finally worked things out."

"Well, that's great. And Sheldon," Leonard patted his roommate on the arm as he closed the door to their apartment, "don't feel down because of what happened with Katie. There are plenty of other fish out in the sea. Presumably one who would describe herself as a cute bespectacled neurobiologist with hair the color of mud."

Sheldon stared at Leonard with a confused look as he zipped up his coat. "Leonard, I feel that I should tell you before you put me on a dating website, me and Katie worked things out through sex all night."

Leonard paused for a second, before giving him a big smile. "That's great buddy. I was just spit balling, you know with the other fish in the sea thing."

"But why would you think I would be with a neurobiologist?" Sheldon asked. "They are completely below me. I would rather have sex with an engineer. That is by far a much worthwhile occupation."

"So Sheldon is less active sexually in your dreams? Why do you suppose that is?"

Leonard shrugged, rubbing the watch on his wrist for comfort. It was an old, leather strapped one and if one was to look close enough, they would see that it had been broken for a long time as the Hans no longer move. Something Long had noticed in previous sessions.

"What's with the broken watch?" Long asked, noticing that his previous question seemed to make Leonard uncomfortable.

Leonard stared down at his digital watch. It had died years ago, but he still wore it despite that fact, as he used his phone to check the time now instead of a watch. He only really took it off when he had to, and those moments were rare.

"Its to help me keep everything, you know, controlled." he answered. "I wear one of those old watches with a leather strap when I'm with Sheldon, Gilda and Katie."

"You mean in your dreams, remember?"

Leonard hesitated for a second, before nodding.

"Why don't you tell me about these other people in your dreams Dr Hofstadter? The ones who take the place of your friends Gilda and Katie." Long asked, wanting to pursue the conversation about his understanding of dreams and reality later.

"I can't even believe we are having this conversation! It defies all logic! I mean, its just insane!" Leonard frowned slightly as he tiptoed into the living room to see Howard arguing with Raj, both looking as if they were in in a huge and important meeting. Sheldon sat at his spot, observing them quietly

"I'm telling you dude, Leonard is cheating on Penny! He called her-" Raj stopped when he finally noticed Leonard. Howard and Sheldon spun around when they realised who Raj was staring at.

"Hey pal, how's it going?" Howard asked cheerfully, trying to hide what the three had been talking about. Leonard just stared at the three expectantly, until Howard gave in.

"Look, Raj is saying that you're cheating on Penny, which I know is insane."

"Hey, can I at least say what I need to say?" Raj asked, not continuing until Howard gestures towards him. "I heard him call Penny Katie!"

Leonard's blood went cold. He remembered what time Raj was referring to. Penny had been having one of her meaner moments at the movies and, while she didn't hear him, he had called her Katie quietly. Its just that when she acted like that, she reminded him of his other friend.

"Do you know a Katie Leonard?" Sheldon asked.

"Oh come on guys. Yes, I know a Katie. I see her sometimes on my way to work. But I swear, I'm not cheating on Penny" Leonard said, knowing that they can't say he was lying as he had technically said the truth. The only bit he let out was the fact that Katei was only his friend in an alternate universe.

Raj stared at him for a moment, as if unsure, before letting out a deep breath. "I'm sorry Leonard. I guess my imagination just went crazy."

"Why is it that, with the exception of Sheldon, you are friends with completely different people in your dreams?" Long asked inquisitively.

"Surely there must be a reason. In your dreams you seem to have made things similar, yet altered things slightly. There is no Penny, there is no Howard, or Raj, or Bernadette, or Amy. Why do you think you only keep Sheldon in your dreams, and these two completely different people?"

"Because they ended up living different lives here. Just like Gilda and Katie lived completely different lives over there." Leonard responded.

Long began to speak, but then noticed how Leonard had spoken his last sentence. "Did you look for your actual friends in your dreams?"

Robert smiled at Leonard, who was wonderful what he should say. He had struggled with the same conversation with Long, and he often found it annoying by how the two gave the same questions.

"I once looked everyone up, over there. Just like I did here for Katie and Gilda. I felt like I needed to know what had happened to them all."

"It took a lot of looking, but I eventually found out what happened to everyone. You might try to over analyze this, but there was a news report about a murder a few years ago. A woman had been killed by her son, Norman Bates style. That son was Howard. I was so horrified when I learned that. I couldn't look at Howard for weeks."

"I met Katie while on my way to the comic book store about three years ago. She was smoking something she shouldn't be smoking, arguing with her mother on her phone. I tried to talk to her, I thought I could replicate our original meeting all those years ago. But she just got mad and walked off."

"Raj actually never left India. He stayed there. You wouldn't believe how difficult it was to find that out. Seriously, it took a huge dent out from my savings, and unless I go to see him, I won't be able to learn any more. Anyway, I found out that Amy was a veterinarian when I took Gilda's cat Buttons to the vet. I had never been more surprised, let me tell you."

"Bernadette married her college professor Glenn, but that eventually fell apart by the guy cheating on her. I see her working at the cheesecake factory all the time. She's a single mother. I've seen her kid, and if I'm honest he seems to be the only good thing to be caused by her not being with Howard. He's a freaking prodigy at math and science."

"And let's not forget about Gilda. She was in an accident when she was a kid. Became paralyzed from the waist down. I tried to befriend her, I wanted to help her. We've been friends for years after all. But I couldn't get through to her."

"What about Penny? Your wife?"

"I was always reluctant to look for her." Leonard replied honestly. "I was afraid of learning that something bad happened to her. But eventually I worked up the courage."

Robert waited a few moments, be for gesturing at Leonard to continue. He gave her a weak smile, obviously nervous about what he was going to tell her.

"She got into the film business. Just not the kind she wanted. Not even into the bad movies she did here. She got into the...You know...R-rated movies." Robert looked away from Leonard awkwardly, deciding to talk about this at a later date, before deciding to speak about something else.

"You seem to be over concerned with these dreams, don't you think?" Robert told him calmly, writing down noted on her clipboard.

"I mean, you do remember that these people, with the exception of Mr Cooper, they're not real." Long said firmly.

Suddenly, he noticed how Leonard was acting by what he said. Long leaned forward, starting to realize the truth.

"You do know that these are just dreams, correct?" Robert asked hesitantly, becoming even more interested as she observes Leonard's body language.

"Do you want me to be honest?" Leonard eventually asked.

"Of course. That's what these sessions are all about." Long responded, sitting back with anticipation on his face.

Leonard took a deep breath. "I don't know."

"I mean, when I first woke up in the hospital, I kept falling unconscious, so I'm not sure which I woke up in first. That's when I first noticed what was happening. But since then I've met so many people, experienced so much."

"I got into my first fight in the other place. I first lost my virginity in this world. I met Sheldon in this place first as well. But I never heard of Howard or Raj until I met them in the other world. And that's not to mention the fact that, regardless if I'm awake here or there, everything feels completely real to me."

"Wait, wait. Are you saying what I think your saying?" she asked slowly, as if it was a struggle to entertain the notion.

"Do you not know the difference between being awake, and being asleep?" Long asked quickly, the astonishment evident in his eyes.

"Well, you'll be surprised by how easy it is to manage with it when you say it like that, but yeah. I really can't tell if I'm asleep or awake right now." Leonard responded.

"You do realize that this is not good."

"Regardless of how you feel about these dreams, they are a negative influence on your life. You being only partially involved in events in reality is not a healthy lifestyle, not to mention the negative drawbacks your dreams should bring."

"I'm truthfully surprised it took this long for the negatives to become apparent. After so many years, you must have ignored the signs until eventually they caused that episode at the university."

Leonard thought back to what caused the university to force him to go to these sessions, in both worlds. One moment, he had been with Sheldon and Howard in the cafeteria, and the next he was waking up in his bed. Until he got to the cafeteria again with Gilda, nothing else happened. But once getting there he had fallen to the ground in pain and woken up back here.

"Have you told anyone about these dreams?" Long asked, interested. Leonard could tell he was wondering if his "dreams" had affected his relationship with people.

"I told my parents when I was younger, before I began to figure things out. They didn't believe me. But besides then, I've kept it a secret for years. Never told anyone."

"Could that have contributed to the stress? You taking on all the responsibility these dreams caused you to have in your life?"

"If I may Leonard, if I can call you that, you need to accept the simple truth. That your dreams are not real. That you need to reject them. You have been lucky to have survived this long with this condition, but if your episode is any indication, it is time you dealt with the problem." Robert said gently, trying to persuade the physicists.

"Unless you learn to reject these fantasies, things will only get worse Dr Hofstadter. You will continue to suffer even more than you have. And that will also lead to your friends to suffer, not just you. " Long told Leonard firmly and with conviction

Leonard was quiet for a moment, obviously contemplating what his shrinks have individually been telling him. And while they have failed to realize it, he was going to tell them the exact same thing.

"Reject huh? You seem to not really understand what I am saying. I don't want to reject my friends." Leonard looked at his psychiatrist straight in the eyes, the full force of what he was about to say also being sent through the emotions in his eyes.

"I love both my lives. Everyone else, they only get one. Only one life where they don't get to experience all the things they missed. I've been given a gift. A gift to experience twice as much out of life. To have so many friends, to have a bigger family than anyone could imagine."

"Now, I will go to these sessions for as long as the university makes me. But when it comes between choosing between my lives, between everyone I've ever met, between my friends, I can assure you of one thing. I have no plans to ever make any progress."

Good or bad? Like I have said before in another fan fiction, the only bad criticism is no criticism. Also, tell me if you see any typos.