The Cheapest Currency

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Summary: "Naruto has few emotional connections, Kakashi-kun, but those he does have are all the stronger for it. I dare say he would do anything for those he loves."

Warnings: a little bit of mindfuck, naughty language , implied brainwashing

A/N: I managed to kill this plot bunny. Am proud of myself.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and I do not get money for writing fanfiction.

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Kakashi left the bar around the time someone started the third round of speculation about 'the demon container', and he guessed that the hullaballoo had probably died down enough that he wouldn't have to use a kunai to get through the throng at the Hokage Tower.

The summons had been marked as non-urgent anyway; the administration knew by now to put in 'urgent' is they wanted to see him on the same day, and 'critical' if they wanted him to be on time.

'Non-urgent' summons was basically an invitation to drop by whenever he was in the vicinity.

Kakashi squinted up at the stars and decided that he was in the vicinity.

Besides, it didn't take him a minute to get across the town.

"Ah, Kakashi-kun," the Hokage said moments before Kakashi let himself in through the window. "Come in. I have an assignment for you."

Assignment. Not mission. So, Naruto.

Kakashi landed softly in the room and pegged the hidden ANBU guards. He wiggled his fingers at Dove, who – predictably – flipped him the bird.

Their esteemed leader pretended to not see the interaction, saving himself the headache of attempting to berate either Kakashi or Anko. Instead, he got straight to the point: "We finally have a gennin team for you."

Oh, good, Kakashi thought pithily. The last seven teams he had been given were slated for dismissal; his involvement had been purely administrative, but it still earned him a reputation as a hardass. Now he was being given gennins he was not allowed to fail.

At least they were rookies with some promise. Messed up, though – Naruto was half-feral, plus Kakashi expected to get the Uchiha too, as tradition dictated, and that was another headcase. He could hope for a sane kunoichi… but was there even such a thing?

"They should be right up your alley." The Hokage smiled. "Overconfident, argumentative and loyal."

"Loyal," Kakashi repeated tonelessly.

The Hokage still heard the mocking, somehow. The smile disappeared. "Naruto has few emotional connections, Kakashi-kun, but those he does have are all the stronger for it. I dare say he would do anything for those he loves. People like Umino Iruka, his teacher at the Academy-"

And you, Kakashi thought, but only said: "Good job." There were ways he didn't want to die. Being tortured and executed for verbal assault on the Hokage was one of them.

He already had a black mark for attacking the man once, shortly after the Kyuubi disaster. Another shinobi would have been dead for that. Kakashi had the dubious luck of being too useful for summary neutralisation.

"Classic conditioning," Kakashi mused, smiling widely. "Very professionally done, Hokage-sama."

And it was.

There was a reason why hidden villages didn't brag about their jinchuuriki until the jinchuuriki in question was trained and the intimidation factor had kicked in. At this point in time, the widespread knowledge of Naruto simply made him a target.

And bait, of course. He attracted spies and assassins like a huge magnet. There was also a reason why he was kept under round-the-clock ANBU surveillance.

In any case, the whisper campaign had had the other intended result of alienating Naruto from pretty much everyone. Then, out of that sea of hatred and disdain walked out the kindly old man that talked to Naruto, smiled at him, gave him presents, bought him food… Yes, of course Naruto loved the Hokage and would have done anything for him. Obeyed orders unthinkingly.

Kakashi had a very solid reasoning for wanting to kill Sarutobi Hiruzen, even if the ill-fated attempt itself had mostly been just a suicide.

"He's a sweet boy," the Hokage said uncharacteristically. Was possession a viable concern? Probably not. The tiniest chakra spark lit up his tobacco, terrifyingly efficient after fifty plus years of smoking. "Predisposed to great loyalty. As were his parents."

Minato-sensei, loyal to Konoha, and to his team. Kushina-san… hmm… she definitely had been loyal, but picky, and Naruto had inherited more than a little from her.

"The Academy teacher?" Kakashi inquired, perusing the files of his future trainees.

The girl looked average across the board with the exception of fairly good chakra control for a gennin and – right, there it was. Potential snags highlighted by the psych team. Good to know all three of the children came to him already fucked in the head.

And Kakashi wasn't even being sarcastic. It was good to know. Easier on his conscience. There was enough damage done that he could just relax and let things take their course. They either would survive or not – heh, perk of none of them having a clan that could get pissed off at Kakashi for losing one of their brats.

Good, good.

"Iruka-kun has his orders," replied the Hokage, puffing on his pipe. "He did resent me for them originally, but I think he's come around. It's not that hard to make a child feel cherished. Besides, a measure of genuine fondness might have grown there. As I said, Naruto is a sweet boy."

"That will only make it harder for the teacher if you send him to give Naruto orders," Kakashi pointed out.

The Hokage snorted softly, releasing puffs of smoke from his nostrils. "Iruka-kun is a professional, Kakashi. And so are you. It's about the highest time you remembered that." He stood (and so did the hair on the back of Kakashi's hands). "This is your team. Train them. A teacher cannot be too kind, but be kind enough. Earn Naruto's loyalty. When the time comes, it will not be me leading this village's shinobi into battle."

Kakashi easily read the look he was given. He took the files, tilted his head in lieu of a bow and left before anyone cottoned onto his treasonous thoughts.

Kind? Him? He doubted he could pull it off. Not without ruining the future ninja under his command. But that wasn't even the reason why he wouldn't do it.

He didn't intend to lead anyone into war. He absolutely refused to be the leash used to jerk Naruto around, much less via emotional manipulation to compound the village-wide brainwashing.

It was a professionally done job, indeed. But someone probably should have checked whether Kakashi didn't actually care about the kid.

Kakashi cared.

Kakashi was going to be an asshole to make absolutely sure that no one, no one could ever use him to control his sensei's son.