This is a republishing of the story I posted yesterday, because hm, fun fact, reviews didn't show up that one. So if you've read it (and reviewed it, I do get a notification on my email and could fortunately read them :) ) thank you very much for your support! and if you didn't, now's your chance.

Update: Reviews don't work for this one either lmao. Enjoy, folks, even if this website seems to hate this story.

AN: I think I've come across a similar AU in one occasion, so if you've read this AU already, bear with me, I think you'll find this story interesting in its own right ;).

As always, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated! I might add, your reviews always make me smile and encourage me to write a lot, which if you know me, you know I really need lol.

~Dizzy

CC is desperately pawing at the walls of the cellar, looking for some sort of secret passage-way, when she hears the door open again, and a very familiar voice reaches her ears.

"There's no way you're making sangria out of these, Missy."

It's that instinctive flight or fight reaction that his voice always provokes on her that gets her out from behind the racks one second too late, but in time to watch the door slam closed behind Niles.

"No! You idiot!" she screams, pushing her forehead against the wooden handrail.

Niles gives a little startled jump, and almost drops the two bottles he's holding, before he composes himself, quickly hiding his cargo behind his back. "Good God, Miss Babcock, boozing it up already?"

CC doesn't respond, just walks up the stairs separating her from the butler and takes hold of the front of his vest, shaking him violently. "We're trapped, you moron!"

Niles frowns, wondering if he wasn't actually right about Miss Babcock's secret drinking. "What on Earth are you talking about, woman?"

She just holds the broken door handle before his eyes, and one look back tells Niles all he needs to know.

"Oh, I can't believe this," he mutters, balancing both bottles on the crook of one arm and reaching for the handle with the other, trying the door a couple of times. CC just looks on desperately, clutching at the hand rail.

"We're trapped," Niles states gravely, and CC feels an intense desire to smack him. The bottles he's holding serve to distract her, though.

"And what's that?" she asks, walking back towards Niles, who hides his precious cargo behind his back again. "I can't believe it, you thief. Those are Maxwell's!"

"No they're not!" Niles pouts and walks past CC, crossing the cellar, but she just follows him tirelessly.

"Oh, please, I've seen your salary, you'd have to work for decades to be able to afford a glass, let alone two bottles!"

Niles just rolls his eyes, and places them on a nearby rack. "Well, here, I'm returning them."

"You're just hiding them from Nanny Fine," CC replies knowingly, and Niles curses under his breath. "Oh, I can't wait to tell Maxwell about this…" Niles' eyes widen at that, and CC lets out a deep chuckle. "Oh, don't worry, Bell Boy, I bet those little hats they give McDonald's employees will look great on you."

Niles frowns, but it doesn't last long, and soon he's smirking widely, a twinkle of mischief CC knows far too well lighting up his eyes. "You tell Maxwell about this, and I'll just tell him how you like to undermine him by making little changes to every single business decision he takes."

CC blanches visibly at that, and crosses her arms in front of her chest defensively. "Those changes are keeping the company afloat."

"I know that, and you know that, but how do you think he'll take it?" Niles has won this one, and they both know it. CC just snarls at his smug grin, and sighs loudly before walking back to the stairs and taking a seat on the top step.

"I can't believe I'm going to miss my romantic weekend with Maxwell."

Niles leans against the wall opposite from her, echoing her depressed tone of voice. "I can't believe I'm going to miss cousin Sophie."

CC snorts loudly, making Niles' temper flair. "As if you ever had a chance."

"Ditto," he barks back, and CC narrows her eyes, getting up slowly.

"You little sh-" her words and thoughts are cut short by something a few inches to the right of Niles' head, "is that an alarm box?"

Niles frowns at her, but then follows her eyes to the small metal rectangle. "I-I'm not sure."

"If it is, then maybe we can cut the wires and trip the system," CC reasons, already plopping open the little flap and exposing the electronics.

"Sounds good. Do you have anything that we may use to cut them?" Niles asks, eying the guts of the alarm box as CC rummages in her purse.

"Ah! Nail clippers!" she exclaims triumphantly, handing them to Niles. He takes them silently, cocking an eyebrow at her.

"Really? I would have expected shears."

CC just rolls her eyes, smacking at his back. "Just get it over with, MaidGyver."

Niles chuckles at that, and reaches inside the box to cut the cables, jumping back at the small spark that it provokes. There's a slow sound coming from somewhere over their heads, and Niles swallows dryly. The fan.

"Miss Babcock, I think I just remembered what that's connected to."

CC just laughs humorlessly, pacing back and forth. "This is just great. I'm going to be found dead in a cellar with the help!" she shouts back towards Niles spitefully, and he crosses his arms defensively.

"It could be worse," he pouts, and CC just directs him a venomous look, wordlessly asking him how. "For starters, we could be trapped somewhere which isn't literally filled with your weight in alcohol." CC ignores the dig against her weight in favor of - for once - listening to Niles' wise words and reaching towards the nearest rack of wine.

She takes a seat back on the steps, and distracts herself for all of ten seconds in opening her bottle, and by the time she's pouring her wine delicately into the little plastic cup she carries in her purse, Niles has already given his bottle a couple of swigs.

"I don't know what's more ridiculous," he says suddenly, and CC just cocks an eyebrow at him, "that you carry that on your purse," he adds, signaling towards her cup, "or that you don't think this is a straight from the bottle kind of situation."

CC shrugs, taking a small sip - okay, a big swallow - off her cup, and suddenly realizing the truth in Niles' words. At this rate they're gonna run out of oxygen before she's well and truly wasted. Still, her pride prevails.

"Even in moments of sure death, I'm a lady, Niles."

Niles makes a show of choking on his wine and looks at her with a faux look of surprise. He has barely opened his mouth before CC cuts him off.

"Oh, shut up."

Maxwell opens the door to his mansion, and is immediately assaulted by a conga line.

"Good Lord," he exclaims, wondering where his butler is, and why none of the calls he made back to the house were answered.

Miss Fine comes to his help and walks him past the long line of Fines, taking him safely to the little table in the foyer. "What are you doing home?"

"Miss Babcock's gone missing, I've been waiting for her in the station for an hour!"

Fran frowns, looking around her, as if suddenly remembering she's missing a best friend. "Ya know, I think Niles might be missing too."

"What?! What do you mean you think he might be missing?"

Fran shrugs sheepishly. "Well, I've just been so busy with the party… But ya know, I think the last time I saw him was an hour ago. He was making a big fuss because I made sangria out of your Burgundy, but then I told him about cousin Sophie, and-"

Maxwell cuts her off before she can get too much further. "Miss Fine!" he's about to propose they look for CC and Niles, but then the last half of her ramble registers on his brain. "You did what with my wine?"

Fran sees the murderous look in Maxwell's eyes before he has finished the question, and is already running at full speed away from him, avoiding Fines, and wondering why British guys had such a problem with sangria.

"You know, I just thought of something," CC slurs, her head resting comfortably on something that - had she not drunk a couple of bottles of wine already - she would have recognized as Niles' chest, but that in her current state all she could gather was that it was heavenly soft.

There's a soft rumble from underneath her ear and a deep voice drawls from behind her. "Call the Smithsonian, we've found intelligent thought where we least expected it."

CC just groans softly and bats back blindly, hoping to hit some part of Niles, and hating the butler for remaining so witty, even after the amount of alcohol he's consumed. Enough alcohol to have stumbled towards her some ten minutes ago, sitting down besides her but half turned against her, and mumbling something about helping support her gargantuan weight, which had ended up in a weirdly intimate posture, Niles' legs on either side of her body, her back pressed against his chest. She had started to slip down after a while, but Niles' hands had held her waist, and now remained there, lazily playing with the fabric of her blouse.

"I'm being serious," she grouses, and Niles chuckles softly, slurring a soft okay that she feels against her temple more than hears. "I think it's really curious that the handle broke the day the house's too busy to notice we're gone," Niles just hums behind her, so she continues on her half-coherent ramble, "you come down here all the time, and it happens the day I'm down here too? And I have a date with Maxwell-" she can hear Niles snorting at the word date, but her muddled brain is too busy connecting the points. She feels anger rise, and her stomach churns uncomfortably, and it's enough to sober her up somewhat. "Wait a minute," she disentangles herself from Niles, and hears his annoyed protest behind her, but pays it no mind, getting up clumsily from the staircase. "You did this, didn't you?"

Niles frowns at her, and CC grants, looks honestly confused. "I-I… What?"

"You loosened up the handle so I would miss my weekend with Maxwell, you sicko!" Niles looks confused for one more moment before he clenches his fists angrily, getting up as well.

"Why on Earth would I want to get stuck in here with you, you lunatic?!"

CC snorts, pointing towards Niles' feet. "You looked perfectly content to be stuck here with me a couple of minutes ago."

"Oh yes, and I could hear your cries of anguish so clearly!"

CC blushes slightly, and carries on undeterred. "Well, your little sick plan won't work, Scrubbing Bubbles. I'll have you known Maxwell and I have already been together. In Fiji," she adds, and Niles cocks an eyebrow, a self-satisfied smirk coming over his features.

"You mean the twelve days Mr. Sheffield spent in the hospital, delirious?" CC curses under her breath - is there something that man doesn't tell his maid? - "Yes, I'm sure you had something to do with that."

Niles still looks annoyed, even after his effective put down, and he paces away from the staircase. CC doesn't quite know what to do, so she just flops down to the steps. "Well… I still got to see him in a swimming suit," she says half to herself.

"Miss Fine has seen him naked," Niles replies from across the room, and CC's jaw drops dramatically.

Niles snorts and throws one of the - numerous - corks lying around at her. "Oh, put a cork in it, Miss Delusions," he takes pity on her for some reason - must be the alcohol, he thinks - and adds, "it was in the shower."

He can hear CC's sigh of relief and it makes him angrier than he knows he has any right to be.

"For your information, Miss Babcock," he manages through gritted teeth, "this house is over fifty years old, almost as old as your hip, and I'm sure as prone to break."

CC eyes him for a second, but eventually huffs. She doesn't quite believe the butler isn't behind what's happened, but being honest, she doesn't want Niles angry at her, and the alcohol buzz is quickly dissipating, which is far from what she wants.

So she simply grabs another half empty bottle nearby, and gets back to the chugging. After a little sulking, Niles joins her, even retaking his seat on the stairs, though this time in the step directly under CC.

"Do you wanna play truth or dare?" she tries after a bit, and Niles cocks an eyebrow at her. He's not too sure he wants to reveal certain things to his enemy, but he's a bit too drunk to care, and definitely way too curious about what he might find out about her.

"All right," he agrees cautiously, turning so he can look at CC, and she squeals excitedly, eliciting a fond feeling in Niles' heart.

"Okay, okay, truth or dare?"

Niles shrugs. Had he been in possession of all his qualities, he would have analyzed the pros and cons of each option, but as it was, he just blurts one out. "Truth."

CC chuckles evilly. "If you could sleep with any woman, right now, who would it be?"

Niles' eyes widen, and he blushes violently. Straight for the kill, of course.

"I-I-I don't think I want to play anymore," Niles stutters, fiddling with his bottle before taking a healthy sip.

"Ugh, God, it's Nanny Fine, isn't it, you pervert?"

"Huh?" Niles must have the dumbest look on his face right now, but Babcock had honestly surprised him with her guess.

"Oh, please, you ogle her constantly. I thought you had better taste, Niles," he can almost hear a tinge of disappointment in her voice, if he deludes himself enough.

"I-I don't want to sleep with Miss Fine," he replies defensively, feeling all of the sudden trapped between a rock and a hard place.

"Why not? Everyone does," CC replies off handedly, huffing.

"Everyone?" Niles asks with a cocked eyebrow, seeing a golden opportunity to change the subject and pick on her at the same time.

"Every man in the house, at least," CC replies seemingly lightly, but with a hint of bitterness in her voice.

Niles almost feels sorry for her. Almost.

"Well, if you must know, Miss Fine isn't really my type," Niles replies haughtily, taking another sip of his drink.

"Really? I thought your type was anything with two legs and a pair of b-"

"Are you calling me easy?" Niles interrupts her, and CC lets out a deep laugh.

"I was going for desperate, but easy works too."

Niles wants to get offended, but he feels a smile tug at his lips. "If you must know, I like my women a lot more commandeering than Miss Fine."

For some reason, CC gets a fit of laughter at that, and Niles again feels offended for about ten seconds, before her laughter starts getting contagious. "What?" he finally manages, when CC seems to have sobered up a bit.

"Sorry, I just didn't know you liked being ordered around… Go figure," she mutters, dissolving into laughter again at what she must think is a hilarious joke. Niles crosses his arms and pouts, shoving at the nearest body part, which happens to be her knee.

"At least I get some pleasure out of my job, can you say the same?"

"Yes I can," CC replies seriously, "I get Maxwell," she lets out in a dreamy sigh, and Niles snorts.

"In your dreams."

"Oh, bite me," she replies and Niles smirks at her, the wine suddenly deciding his brain is as good a place to be as any other.

"Make me."

There's a moment of silence between the two, as CC wonders when the prospect of jumping Niles' decrepit bones got so interesting, before she lets out her wonderful deep chuckle, and Niles feels a shiver make its way down his spine.

"Tsk-tsk, Butler Boy…" she tuts at him, letting her hand fall to his nape, and - good Lord, let this not be a dream - starting to caress the skin underneath his shirt collar, "you haven't answered my question."

"Hm?" Niles is too damn busy being in heaven to remember how to string two words together, let alone remember her question.

"If you could sleep with any woman, right now, who would it be?"

Niles grins at her widely, letting his hand come up back to her knee, this time letting his fingers draw a path up her thigh tortuously slowly.

"Miss Babcock, can't you guess?" CC only hums, using the hand not currently shooting shivers down his spine to guide his hand on her thigh to caress more fully, and Niles doesn't lose a beat before pressing his entire palm against the fabric of her trousers.

Confident that he's gotten the message, CC moves her hand to Niles' tie, untying it in rough strokes.

"Truth or dare?" Niles asks suddenly, his voice surprisingly strong for how distracted he feels at the moment. CC cocks an eyebrow, but seems to want to continue the game - he can always trust Babcock to be willing to play, can't he? - and shrugs.

"Truth."

Niles smiles brightly, finally deciding he's had enough teasing, and moving both his hands to CC's waist, pulling her the rest of the way from the step she was sitting on to his lap. She lets out a little squeal which Niles finds completely adorable, before she smiles sultrily, which Niles finds completely disarming.

"If you could sleep with any man, right now, who would it be?" he asks brightly, cocking his head to one side for effect, as if the way she's fumbling on his lap for his belt buckle isn't answer enough.

"I guess," she whispers, lacing her finger through the button of his trousers and undoing it in one swift movement, "if we're talking right now," she adds, letting her hand sneak inside his trousers, "it might be you, Butler Boy." She punctuates the nickname with a slow stroke, and Niles can't help but moan deeply.

"Me? What a dishonour," he manages, as CC gives him a little squeeze for his words and he has to screw shut his eyes to hold on to his sanity.

"Yes, well, you know it would have been Maxwell," and the phrase both infuriates him and thrills him, damn her, "but I feel a bit bloated."

Niles smiles, finally taking the initiative and letting his fingers swiftly unbutton her blouse. "So I get three hundred bags full of bloated Babcock and he gets…" He makes a show of stopping and cocking his head to one side pensively, "sorry, when are you not bloated?"

She growls - definitely growls, God help him - and gives him another rough stroke. "Shut up and kiss me."

Niles is only too willing, but the truth of the matter is, she kisses him first, letting her teeth grace his lower lip before she invades his mouth with her tongue. Niles moans helplessly, and he thinks he hears it echoed from Miss Babcock's own mouth, but then she pulls her hand from his trousers, holding onto his vest as she grinds her hips against him, and Niles loses all sense of where and when.

He supposes she does too, because it's been at least half a minute between the unmistakable sound of the cellar door opening accompanied by Maxwell's horrified voice, and them pulling apart.

"Oh my God."

Niles and CC turn to look at him hazily before they both blurt out at the same time.

"He steals your wines." "She rewrites your contracts."

Maxwell frowns, too confused by… Well, everything, to get a word of that. "What?"

"Nothing!" Is all the reply he gets, once more, in unison.

After a splash of icy cold water on his face, Niles feels a bit of his composure - and sobriety - returning, and his swift escape to the guest bathroom serves to avoid an equally flustered Miss Babcock, who simply sneaked out of the house at the first chance she got. This is something he's sure they're not discussing tomorrow, and he's not sure whether he's relieved or disappointed. Scratch that, he's definitely disappointed, some parts of him more than others.

He finally makes his way out of the bathroom, hoping the household has gone to sleep - he knows Miss Fine's family left the house about five minutes before he was found consorting with the enemy.

He crosses Fran on her way to the foyer, unfortunately, and she smiles at him warmly. He shuffles behind her sheepishly, wanting to crawl out of his skin when she directs him a knowing look.

"There you are, Mistah," Niles swallows dryly. He knows that tone of voice… Here it comes, "did ya meet Cousin Sophie?"

"Huh? You- You haven't spoken with Mister Sheffield?"

Fran frowns at that, shaking her head. "Nah, he just looked at me with really wide eyes and went straight to bed. I think he might have found Miss Babcock in a compromising situation," she lets out her trademark honking laugh and nudges him in the ribs. He smiles at her forcefully. "So… Cousin Sophie… Nice, huh?"

"Yousa," he says simply, making a hurried exit with the remains of the birthday cake. He feels sorta bad about lying to his best friend, but really, he can't deny Miss Babcock's figure might very well be the very definition of built like a brick -

His thoughts are cut short when he reaches the kitchen and sees the mess it's been done of it during his absence. Nothing in this world is worth the cleaning he's going to have to do now. Well, he thinks, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, almost nothing.