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"It's working!"

Tony would deny he looked like a mad scientist as he danced around the vibranium gateway in his lab. The static electricity in the air had made his hair stand on end and the three days without sleep and only coffee and alcohol and the alcohol that was in the coffee (which was probably more alcohol than coffee but it was a nod to any Irish roots he had so don't be a culture snob) made his eyes bloodshot and his skin a little pale, but overall Tony was bursting with adrenaline as his efforts paid off because the device was working. Richards just didn't have the vision Tony did. What was the point of glancing into parallel worlds, worlds that flickered by on that prehistoric view screen too quickly to get any kind of idea what was happening? Really, a doorway was much better and no, making an inter-dimensional portal was not a sleep-deprived, half-drunk idea and even if it was it worked while he was still those things because Tony was a genius and Richards could eat it.

"Just a bit more…" he grunted, grabbing a lever with both hands that would temporarily borrow the city's electricity (because clean energy could take a hit for this one thing after everything he'd done for it) and got under it and used his weight to push it up until—"Yes!" he cried, ignoring JARVIS bothering him with critical warnings because until something blew up it wasn't worth mentioning and he should really remember to program that into his AI sometime soon.

Tony wasn't bothered by the spiking energy levels, or the electricity jumping from the doorway to his nearby work tables and making the equipment there catch fire, or the nagging of JARVIS as he told him he had advised Pepper about his lab activities and—okay, so that last one bothered him a little bit but she was all the way in Malibu right now and wouldn't make it back to New York for hours, even if she left now. But no, Tony couldn't be brought down right now because it was working and through the doorway his lab was disappearing as the energy made the thing glow and so what if he'd filched a little of the Tesseract's energy? If SHIELD didn't know by now then they weren't doing their job properly and he was just teaching them a friendly lesson and was that a person coming through?

Tony only had a moment to gape – and admire because damn, she was fine – before JARVIS's voice mentioned something about draining the city's power and his own before his normally refined voice warbled and distorted before the whole lab became one giant spark and everything went dark. The smell of smoke became apparent and he supposed he could see fine enough by the light of his flaming equipment (and so the tower was out of power, he had backup generators for this very reason) but most importantly there was a hot woman standing in his lab who had just come through his portal (suck it, Loki) and yeah, he kind of couldn't see any more after the sprinklers came on but whatever, he'd just made history (again). As long as this wasn't Loki's second coming anyone criticizing him had no foot to stand on because he'd just invented inter-dimensional travel and Bruce would be so impressed (probably) and Richards could choke on his jealousy (and the Thing's dick because seriously, how did it have a girlfriend? He was Richards's friend – he could take the hit for science).

"Oh good, backup generators are on," Tony muttered as the lights came back on and he could see again. "Who're you?" he jumped straight to the point, sticking his finger in the woman's direction. (So he was talking to her chest; no one would be able to prove anything later, he'd wipe the video).

Turns out that she was him and he was her and they were both geniuses and what did she do when a giant glowing doorway thing turned up in her lab?—she poked it, is what she did, and if Tony didn't have Pepper he'd be in love because after they'd figured things out she asked him about Thai food and bourbon and – "we should make out, for science" – and yeah, this was the best decision he'd ever made.

Reed Richards hadn't thought big enough so here Tony was, reaping the benefits. He'd never really believed two minds were better than one because what mind would be able to keep up with his? And then Tori Stark happened and he realised that two minds really were better because there were two of him and they both had the brains and the looks and she had the boobs and they were really very nice. Tony wondered if this was a new low for his narcissism. But only for a moment because—"for science".

I … have no excuse. I wanted this to happen, so it happened. Will I continue this? Yeah. I'll probably do a chapter for each Avenger (and then some) because this is fun and I know it. POVs will probably change to each Avenger the chapter concerns, so not every chapter will be Tony's manic energizer bunny on crack rambles. Maybe. Hehe.

Merry Christmas!