Disclaimer: I don't own Scorpion or its characters – I'm only torturing them for a while.

So I must give you all fair warning from the start…..this story isn't for the faint of heart or, at all, in the holiday spirit. But I need to purge. And when I purge my dark side comes out. I get mean, especially toward the characters I'm angry with. And right now I'm angry with Paige. Well… I'm angry at the writers for what they've done to Paige this season but you know what they say about the messenger. I apologize in advance if it feels like I'm torturing you as much as Paige but unfortunately it is inevitable. I'm not angry at Walter at the moment but unfortunately he will be collateral damage.

This will be short (a handful of chapters) and brutal and is set approximately 2 months after "Wreck the Halls" and about six weeks after Tim leaves for Jordan.

You will likely not be happy with me at first. If you're willing to stick with me there is a method to my madness. But I believe the only way Walter and Paige can find their way back to each other is to hit rock bottom and I'm about to slam them both to the ground so hard there is bound to be some blood.

Thanks in advance for reading. Another author's note at the end.

Highway to Hell

Paige arched her back and she moaned, long and low, as she reached down and slid her fingers into his hair. She tugged on the short strands and felt him grunt against her clit as his tongue stopped swirling in lazy circles and started flicking hard and fast against her pulsing flesh. Her thighs trembled around his head, her body perilously close to her second orgasm of the night.

"Ohhh god, yes, right there."

She exhaled a shuddering breath and tugged his face closer, as she rocked her hips, urging him to once again make her see stars. He wrapped his lips around her clit and the tip of his tongue lashed at it in a rhythm that he'd quickly learned would send her instantly over the edge. They'd only been intimate for a few weeks but he was a fast learner when it came to mastering what she liked.

Paige's entire body convulsed as her orgasm slammed into her. She felt the pulsing low and deep in her belly, before it moved down and centered right where his tongue was lashing against her. She choked out his name as she let the pleasure roll over her, shuddering and trembling as her orgasm spread through every cell in her body. She released his hair and threw her arm over her face as she continued to pant softly.

He continued to use his tongue to soothe her tender flesh, alternating between kissing and swirling it over her, bringing her down from her high. Paige's thighs relaxed and fell open and her lips curved into a smile as she felt him crawl up over her body. His lips brushed against her skin eliciting a shiver and satisfied sigh to escape hers as he settled his weight on top of her.

He pushed inside, her swollen flesh engulfing him as his lips reached hers. Paige lifted her arm and wrapped it around him as he began moving inside her, slowly at first as her body adjusted to the feel of him, then more steadily as he thrust in long deep strokes.

"You come so easily," he exhaled gruffly against her lips but she could hear the affection in his voice combined with the smug knowledge that he could make her orgasm so easily.

Paige's eyes fluttered open and she looked into Tim's green ones. He was smiling down at her and her lips curved as she slid her hands into his hair, pulling his lips to hers. She closed her eyes again and kissed him. While his kisses had never lit her on fire, she couldn't deny he was very skilled.

Paige had been celibate for so many years she'd initially been hesitant to take this particular step in their relationship. Despite a fairly promiscuous past as a teenager, when she acted out after her mother abandoned her and, particularly, after her father died, Paige was rather conservative when it came to sex.

As she matured, she came to realize that sex and love were intertwined for her. When she met and fell in love with Drew, during her second semester of college, everything changed. At least for her. She stopped seeking solace and comfort from any guy who would pay attention to her. She gave everything to Drew - her heart, her fidelity and eventually the most precious thing in her life – her son. Drew was the one who slept around and cheated and then eventually abandoned her like everyone else in her life had.

So Paige deliberately avoided relationships with men and remained celibate for over a decade, giving everything to the boy who had her eyes and her father's name. Their lives were constantly uncertain as she struggled, alone, to provide for a child she didn't understand or connect with; the child she loved more than life. So men and sex were the last things on her mind.

It wasn't until she met Walter and became a part of Scorpion that their lives took on the stability she craved for her and her son, despite the instability of the kind of work Scorpion did. She now had steady money, a clean, warm and safe roof over their heads, one they weren't constantly in danger of being kicked out of, and, most recently, a relationship with a man who cared for her and showed her the kind of affection she'd once sought by offering her body willingly to what amounted to half the football team.

She and Tim dated for several months before she was willing to take him into her bed. She hadn't been sure she was ready, her feelings for him complicated and uncertain because there wasn't the fire in her blood for him the way she'd felt in the past. But he'd been patient and understanding and, when she finally let him touch her, it was like a setting a match to dried kindling. She went up in flames, almost instantly, the rest of the night practically a blur of pleasure, and now that she'd given herself up to it, her body was making up for all that lost time.

She was a normal, healthy woman with physical needs that hadn't been met, by anyone other than herself, in a very long time. And her fingers and the few vibrators she bought over the years never quite did the job. It just wasn't the same.

For several long minutes their bodies moved in sync as Paige arched her back and bucked rhythmically beneath him. She'd already come twice but she knew he would urge another one from her. He was striving toward his second and final orgasm of the night, having first taken her from behind as he bent her over her bureau once they were both certain Ralph was asleep. His second orgasm always took a while and her body always reaped the rewards from the time it took.

Tim tore his mouth away from hers and brushed his lips across her cheek and down her throat. Paige lifted her hips off the mattress, meeting each of his thrusts as her fingernails scratched down his back.

"I love you," he murmured against her neck.

Paige's eyes flew open and her body froze as she felt like her heart stopped beating in her chest. He continued to thrust, oblivious to her distress, murmuring how beautiful she was. With shaking hands, she pulled his face out of her neck and when her eyes met his again, Paige now found herself starting into a very familiar pair of brown ones.

Walter looked down at her with the same intense gaze she'd seen from him for months, the one that scared the hell out of her, and she pushed on his chest, scrambling out from beneath him.

##############

Paige's eyes flew open as she sat up, abruptly, gasping Walter's name. She looked to her right, expecting to see Tim sleeping beside her like he'd done for the last few weeks before he left for Jordan. But all she found was an empty space barely illuminated by the sliver of moonlight shining through the curtains she'd forgotten to close before bed.

She buried her face in her hands as she struggled to catch her breath. She'd been having the same dream for the past two weeks and been waking from it in a panic just as she realized it wasn't Tim but Walter inside her. It always started out the same, an exact replay of Tim's last night before he left for the Middle East. Right down to the murmured "I love you."

He'd surprised her with the admission and although he reassured her he wasn't expecting her to say it back, he just wanted her to know his feelings before they were separated for so long, Paige still felt some measure of guilt that she hadn't been able to reciprocate. She wondered if that was why her subconscious kept replaying the moment over and over again while she slumbered.

She hadn't been able to say it back. She cared about Tim very deeply. He was good to her. He clearly adored Ralph and that meant more to her than anything else about him. But love was a word, and an emotion, Paige didn't take lightly. And as much as she cared for Tim, enjoyed his company, felt happy and content with him, and enjoyed sex with him, she didn't love him.

Yet.

Could she see herself feeling that way for him someday? Could she see him as a permanent part of her and Ralph's lives now that he was no longer a permanent part of Scorpion? She didn't have an answer, one way or the other at the moment, and that consumed her with even more guilt.

What Paige couldn't understand was why the dream always ended with Tim turning into Walter just after he told her he loved her. Or maybe she didn't want to understand because it would force her to admit what she had been vehemently denying and hiding from for months.

It had been almost two months since Christmas and her relationship with Walter was still very much strained. They were barely on speaking terms. She spoke to him only when it was absolutely necessary for Scorpion business. Other than that he gave her a wide berth, keeping his distance and giving her the space she hadn't need to tell him she wanted because even Walter O'Brien, with his stunted emotional capacity, realized he'd crossed a line that couldn't be uncrossed.

She was so angry at him for the first couple of weeks after Christmas and he'd made no attempt to broach the topic with her. He'd pulled back from her as much as she'd pulled back from him. Fortunately there were no life-threatening cases since before the holidays, and Paige knew they were probably overdue, but at least they hadn't been forced into close proximity any more than within the four walls of the garage.

It hurt.

She missed him. She missed how close they'd once been. She missed talking to him. She missed sharing things with him, particularly things about Ralph. Walter and Ralph's relationship hadn't suffered as a result of the rift between them. Paige made sure that her distance from Walter didn't distance Ralph from him because she knew how much her son loved his mentor. But she was starting to wonder if she and the genius would ever be able to mend the fracture between them.

And that thought made her sick to her stomach.

More guilt flooded her. Paige knew the fracture was as much her fault as his. And for once, the liaison was at a loss for how to fix it. She'd be lying if she said she didn't, at least partially, blame him for Tim leaving. But the reality was she was the one who insisted Tim take the job in Jordan. He would have stayed for her, of that she had no doubt. He would have endured dealing with Walter, at least until he began to resent her for it, but Toby was right. Tim was a leader and Walter would never give up any leadership in his team nor fully accept the former Seal as part of it.

He was never supposed to be a permanent part of the team. Initially he was only scheduled to shadow Cabe and work with Scorpion for a few weeks before moving onto another division of Homeland. That ultimately turned into a few months and eventually turned into what was going to be a permanent position. She suspected that was truly what bothered Walter the most. The decision to make Tim a permanent member of his team was not his. Tim presented the request to Cabe, who had just gone ahead and submitted the paperwork to Homeland. It was thrust upon Walter and the genius didn't take those kinds of things well.

In hindsight she should have realized that. Translating him, and for him, was her main job and, in all honesty, she had fallen down on that job quite a bit in the last year. It wasn't until Tim left that, even though she and Walter were estranged, she realized how much she'd failed at her job, and ultimately him.

Yet one more thing to feel guilty about and one more reason she was keeping her distance from him.

Paige knew she shouldn't be dreaming about Walter when she was in a relationship with Tim but she couldn't stop her brain from dreaming, as much as she wanted to. She woke up gasping and disoriented and very often aroused and she didn't know which part of the dream was causing it. It should be Tim, her boyfriend, but she suspected it was Walter and once again guilt flooded her to such an extent she felt nauseated.

Paige shoved the covers off her sweat soaked body and ran to the bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet before she heaved and emptied the last remnants of the pizza dinner she and Ralph shared hours earlier.

When all that was left coming out of her was bile, Paige sat back against the side of the tub, again burying her face in her hands until she felt steady enough to stand. This was how her nights had been lately. She'd wake up from these dreams, lose the contents of her stomach, and then spend the next several hours unable to go back to sleep until her alarm, finally, went off.

She pushed to her feet and walked over to the sink to brush her teeth and splash cold water on her face. She considered Skyping Tim. It was almost noon in Amman and he'd likely be at lunch. They usually Skyped on her lunch hour since that was the end of his day and he was back at his apartment. He'd call her before he went to bed, telling her all about his day and that he missed her and wished she was there with him. But at the moment she didn't know what she'd say, anyway, and a small part of her hoped they caught a case today so she would be out of the garage at lunch.

Paige reached for the toothpaste and discovered the tube empty. Ralph must have used it, once again neglecting to tell her he'd run out in his bathroom. Her genius son, like his mentor, typically paid no attention to the mundane everyday things and she realized it was time to again talk to him about responsibility.

With a sigh she pulled open the bottom draw of the vanity, where she kept the extra tubes. As she grabbed one, she noticed the small calendar booklet she used to note her cycle. The toothpaste fell from her hand as it dawned on her she couldn't remember the last time she pulled that calendar out.

She grabbed it and opened the small book, her eyes frantically scanning the pages, flipping back and forth between December, January and February. The last time she'd marked it was the third week in December when she'd had her period just before Christmas. But there was nothing marked off in January and it was now mid February.

Paige lifted her eyes and she looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was as white as a ghost, her eyes full of panic, and only one thought flooded her mind.

Not again!

For those of you who made it to the end, thanks for reading. I'd love to hear your thoughts…. both good and bad.

And I know I still have two other open stories. I don't usually like having more than one story going at a time and now somehow I have three. But I'm editing the final chapter of Married and hope to have that up before the new year. Then I'll get back to Because You Want To.

Now, if you don't want to hear my soapbox you should probably stop reading but I need to get a few things off my chest about the state of the show at the moment.

I worked in the film and television industry for almost 20 years until I retired in 2014. So I know how this goes. Historically television shows do not have a good track record of staying on the air after getting couples together - particularly for the one hour episodic genre. Writers get lazy and panic - not knowing how to keep the show and storylines fresh and interesting without the constant tension caused by the "will they or won't they" dynamic. And the audience does get bored despite their insistence that they won't.

It's a very delicate balance for writers, producers and actors that, more often than not, fails, so despite my own desire for Walter and Paige to just get together already I don't mind them remaining apart for now. I just wish the writers had ended the love triangle that always seems to be the go to way that is used to keep couples apart. Where I think the Scorpion writers really screwed up is that they had the perfect opportunity to show that Paige was not as invested in the relationship as Tim had become and they blew it.

When she insisted he go - he jumped at it awful fast - which was quite telling in so many ways. But when he insisted they could make it work - skyping everyday - that would have been the perfect time for her to say something like "eight months is a long time so let's just see how it goes." Or even if she said something like "you should focus on what you need to do and I'll be here when you get back" that still would have left her an out because being apart for that long is not easy and shit happens when people are apart - particularly if they are not truly committed to one another. Consistently over the years my husband and I were apart for 6 or more months at a time when I was filming on location and while that wasn't an issue for us - I saw so many people with good intentions realize that the long distance thing wasn't something they could maintain.

Now Paige is not a cheater and I don't think Tim would be either but Paige doesn't seem, to me, to be the kind of woman who could have a successful long distance relationship – particularly after what Drew did to her. And the writers could have used this opportunity for Paige and Tim to grow apart while Paige and Walter grew closer - show Walter becoming more of the man that could give her what she needs emotionally. Nothing would have to happen between Paige and Walter primarily because I don't think Paige would do that because of what Drew did to her. But she could become very conflicted and then they could have brought Tim back for a few episodes - show them awkwardly trying to get reacquainted and recapture the potential that was there before he left and realize it wasn't going to work. Because Paige was in love with Walter and always had been and always would be.

But alas I am not one of the writers of the show so my opinion means nothing but I just needed to get that off my chest.

Happy holidays everyone! I wish all of you a very happy, healthy and prosperous new year!