Severus Snapes' Guide to Hogwarts.

Introduction.

Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry was founded over a thousand years ago by four great wizards - Salazar Slytherin, Godric Gryffindor, Helga Hufflepuff and Rowena Ravenclaw. This school has gathered many traditions over the years it has been running, and has produced some of the greatest wizards and witches this world has seen. Unfortunately not all students at who attend will achieve greatness, and the school is teaming with pathetic unachievers, united by their common goal to not learn anything.

While the school is principally an institute of learning, it is also a place where one can meet lifelong friends, and develop other skills - some useful, others not-so-useful. Inter-house activities are a traditional way of developing competitive spirits, not to mention deep hostility and rivalry between houses. Quidditch is also a highlight for many students, who either enjoy being attacked by homicidal balls 50 feet above the ground, or who enjoy watching other people being attacked by homicidal balls 50 feet above the ground.

I, Severus Snape, shall now guide you through the halls of Hogwarts as I see them. I hope this book will enable you to look at this school from a different, enlightened viewpoint, and will help prepare new teachers to the many years ahead of them in this institution. It will arm you with knowledge that before now was only available to those willing to discover them for themselves. Forewarned with the information in this handy travel- sized book, you can be sure that you are prepared for your new life as a teacher at Hogwarts.

Disclaimer:

This book has been written with the sole purpose of acquainting new teachers to the REAL side of Hogwarts. It is a very informative book and covers many principal areas of the school. Please note, however, that it does not gloss over the unpleasant aspects, nor does it leave anything to your imagination. Professor Severus Snape takes no responsibility for any second thoughts you have about taking up a teaching position here after reading this book.